Why I Rub Boob Tube On My Girls

I have a dirty, little secret…

I AM OBSESSED WITH PREGNANCY BOOB TUBE.

AND…NO I’m not pregnant.

NO we’re not trying to get pregnant.

& NO, this isn’t sponsored.

Butttt yes, I’m obsessed with rubbing boob tube on my tits. Like the stuff for pregnant women.

Bear with me before you judge.

Because who knows? Maybe after this post you’ll be rubbing boob tube on your twins next week too.

My relationship with this product began after Khloe Kardashian RAVED about Kourtney’s magic, all-natural boob tube. Khloe said:

“Kourtney got me into all these Mama Mio products that are all natural—I think she used them when she was breast-feeding. Their names are really cute—there is one that’s called the Shrink to Fit Cellulite Smoother that I like. I use one of their other products called the Pregnancy Boob Tube every day. It’s got avocado oil and shea butter so when your boobs are growing you don’t get stretch marks. I like it though, because it tightens your neck, too. I’ve been using it everyday for a year. Now people always ask me, ‘Why do you have this?’ hinting as if I’m trying to have a baby, and I’m like, ‘No, no. It’s just because I fuckin’ like it’.”

WHEN I READ THIS I DIED.

Basically I’ve been rubbing avocado on my tits since high school because I feel like it’s preventative. I know that sounds weird but seriously guys, rubbing oil on your boobs prevents stretch marks. I swear I’m not crazy.

Anyway. When I heard about this all-natural product for pregnant people, I did my research, added it to my Amazon cart, & patiently waited for my boob lube.

Currently four months later AND I’M OBSESSED. I use it every night. Seriously. It’s a nightly ritual. Like brushing my teeth.

But rubbing my boobs.

Their policy is to make your teets aim north, not south.

I’m very much for that policy, thanks.

You guys know I’m always searching high & low for quality products to put on the blog. But literally I ALWAYS have my eyes & ears open ( you’d be surprised the secret tips & tricks you can learn on a subway, at the vet’s office, &/or in line at In & Out…I swear I pick up shit everywhere ).

So after being a guinea pig for months, I couldn’t not share this on the blog. It’s just too good.

Oh & not only is the consistency amazing, CHECK OUT THE INGREDIENTS BECAUSE THEY ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD:

Firstly, it’s free from parabens, petrolatum, synthetic fragrance and colourants, xenoestrogens, PEGs, glycols and pthalates.

Ok, check the list:

CoQ10: is nature’s wonderfully powerful antioxidant that helps prevent collagen degradation to stop sagging.

Milk Thistle Extract: a natural antioxidant to help prevent free radical damage to delicate skin to keep it strong.

Organic Evening Primrose, Organic Sweet Almond, Organic Olive, & Avocado Oils: all packed with Omegas, Vitamins D and E. Superbly moisturising, keeping skin firm and elastic.

Organic Shea Butter: is the most potent healing butter; an Omega-rich natural elasticiser that helps stave off sagging.

Organic Rosehip Fruit Oil: increases cell renewal and helps reduce excess pigmentation. Superbly moisturising and healing.

Blueberry Extract Antioxidant: eases skin inflammation and reduces sag by strengthening collagen and improving microcirculation.

Red Cabbage Extract: a wonderful source of Vitamin C and E plus phytonutrients that help fight free radicals and detoxify.

Green Cabbage Extract: helps increase blood circulation to ease swelling and discomfort. For years breast-feeding mums have applied cabbage leaves to their boobs to relieve swelling and pain.

Hibiscus: contains a firming agent, that also calms and smoothes skin, increasing moisture and suppleness.

If that list doesn’t make your nipples hard, I don’t know what will.

Other reasons I’m in love: 

♡ What women really love about boob tube is that the appearance of their skin changes so quickly; Within days the skin on your neck, chest and bust will look more toned, healthy, smooth, glowing, & fit.

♡ Protect, cool and soothe pregnant and new mama boobs. Rich in organic Omega oils to hydrate and elasticize & natural firmers and antioxidants to strengthen skin and stop sagging.

♡ Protects delicate skin experiencing cup size changes. Unique Green Cabbage Leaf Extract eases swelling.

♡ Rich in Omega 3, 6 and 9 with nature’s amazing antioxidant, coq10, plus an army of anti aging, skin firming and omega rich ingredients all working overtime to help your skin resist gravity’s pull.

♡ You are so wise to daily dose with boob tube from the top of your neck to below your boobs. Safe to use when pregnant or nursing.
{ info via }

Something that’s safe to use while pregnant or nursing? YES. Love it.

This product is also a neck firmer (!!!). Let’s be honest, everyone should use a little neck firmer now & again. Really though, prevention is key.

Honestly I like this line of products & will be using them A LOT. The next thing on my list is their all natural tightening body serum & cellulite smoother. I feel like this would be awesome on the backs of the legs. Their stuff lasts forever because you just need a little so it’s worth every damn penny. They also carry nipple balm if you’re feeling feisty.

Let me know what you think of this boobie coco butter on crack. I’m pretty positive you guys will fall in love with PREGNANCY BOOB TUBE too, hence the long-ass post.

Any other boob tips I’m missing? Share the wealth.

– lauryn, x

+ Boob Job Realness PART I | PART II