Transform Your Life: Tips From a Mindset Coach

Tips From a Mindset Coach

You guys know that The Skinny Confidential is all about being the best version of yourself. You are in control of your life & transforming your life is totally possible. Maybe not easy, but possible for sure.

Transform Your Life: Tips From a Mindset Coach

In this post we’re going to hear from Topsie VandenBosch, a mindset coach. She’s going to share some tips on how to get started transforming your life & breaking negative thought patterns.

I first met Topsie VandenBosch when she called me out on Instagram. That’s right. She fucking called me out.

She came right into my DMs & told me that she wished she saw more Black women on my platforms. We got into a whole convo discussing her suggestions & I completely agreed with her.

After talking to Topsie for a while, we became friends. We had been following each other on Instagram for a while, but never really got to know each other. She was bold, confident & unapologetically herself. All the things I love.

So, we had been chatting for a bit & I asked Topsie to pitch us for The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER podcast. The pitch she sent was ICONIC. It was sharp, smart & the pitch of someone who NEEDED to be on the podcast.

But I also wanted her to come on the blog to talk about being a life/mindset coach, tips for turning your life around ( if that’s where you’re at ), what it means to be anti-racist & her morning & evening routines.

If you don’t know Topsie she is mindset coach & a mental health therapist. Right now she is focusing on providing courses to business owners & helps people break negative thought patterns. So excited because she’s shares some her clients’ transformations.

Let’s get into it with Topsie.

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Introduce yourself to The Skinny Confidential community. We want your whole life story!

Topsie VandenBosch: My name is Topsie VandenBosch. I’m a proud first generation, Nigerian American. I’ve lived in 2 other states ( New York & Maryland, & I currently live in Michigan, where I have lived most of my life ).

Soon, my husband & I will make California our permanent home. We’re excited & have been preparing for that. I have 2 younger sisters, a niece, & my husband is of Dutch & Italian descent, who is a primary care doctor.

You were recently on The Skinny Confidential podcast where you shared a lot about your career. Can you tell us more?

TV: Yes! I am a licensed clinical mental health therapist, & I have a social work degree. I chose to primarily use it to provide one-on-one therapy, group therapy, family therapy & couples therapy. And I have worked with  & in every population under the sun: those struggling with substance abuse, depression, schizophrenia, anxiety, juvenile justice as well as the adult prison system.

Currently- I just closed my mental health therapy practice after about 4 years, & will be focusing exclusively on my online coaching business, which has blown up since I started coaching in 2017.

What goes into making over someone’s life & being their life coach?

TV: Hmmm. I don’t consider myself to be making over their lives. I consider it a team approach to discussing how to best meet the clients’ goals, whether it be in business or personal, & using evidence based coaching methods to do so.

The client is the expert on their lives- I am simply there to help uncover & discover what’s been holding them back from reaching their goals. The coaching industry is unregulated ( which has its pros & cons, of course ) & so if you have a problem that you can assist clients in solving via coaching- GO FOR IT!

What are 3 steps someone can do to ‘act now’ when it comes to turning their life around?

TV: 1. Uncover what your ‘why’ is. If you don’t understand what your motivation is, then it will be difficult to make any type of change.

2. Examine what the gap is ( what you feel is missing ), & then what you want to  change.

3. Start somewhere. Don’t stay stuck. Start researching, reading, listening to podcasts, hiring mentors, buying courses. In the “doing” is where you will discover what your next steps should be. It’ll happen naturally, but it takes time, patience, & purposeful action. However- this won’t happen if you stay stuck.

What are some transformations you have seen & how did that person go about transforming?

TV: There are 2 transformations I’d like to share.

A client hired me as their Mindset Coach to help them in the imposter syndrome they were feeling in being able to help their clients make money in online entrepreneurship.

We worked together, discussed the appropriate mindset strategy she would need in order to process this emotion, & through that process the client discovered they actually didn’t want to be a coach at all. They actually wanted to provide email marketing services for online business owners. When they made this switch, everything turned around. They are now making more money than they ever dreamed, & feel so fulfilled.

There was another client that hired me recently to address their mindset struggle with being assertive & selling their services online. Fast forward to two months in working with me, she was able triple the investment she made in deciding to work with me. This occurred because she put in the work, practiced the mindset strategies we discussed, & in the process gained more confidence than she could have ever dreamed.

On the podcast you talked a lot about what it means to be anti-racist. Can you elaborate on that for the blog & share your thoughts?

TV: Anti-racism is where white people & non-Black POC ( people of color ) engage in actions against anti-racism & the systemic oppression of those who are marginalized in society ( Black, Indigenous, POC ).

It’s evident from the inception of this world that systemic racism has always been present, & this has affected the laws, prisons, justice system, workplace norms & practices- literally every facet of society. It is no longer enough for white people & non- Black POC to not be “racist”- they need to actively be anti-racist.

This can mean finding opportunities to advocate for those who are marginalized, going to rallies, donation, educating racist family members, calling out racism, recognizing white privilege that is rampant in society, reading & educating oneself about the plight of Black people in America- this is not an exhaustive list, but these are places to start when on the journey to be anti-racist.

White privilege does not mean that white folx have not suffered or had hard times- it just means that the color of their skin in society has afforded them the privileges that Black people & other POC do not have. It is an invisible cloak of protection from policies that are racist, & not having to worry about experiencing racism because of the color of your skin, being able to buy Band-Aids in your skin tone, etc.

White folx benefit from a system that continuously oppresses Black people & POC- & this is not a cause for shame. It is merely a cause for white folx to take action knowing this information.

If you are reading this & desire to learn more, a book that can start you on your journey:

Me & White Supremacy ( Layla F. Sayaad ). Also follow anti-racism educators online or on Instagram, such as @rachel.cargle, @moemotivate, @iamrachelricketts to name a few.

In order to dismantle the system of oppression that predates slavery, white folx will have to do the work of becoming true anti-racists-which is a journey with no award, no accolades, & no recognition. The oppressed do not have to dismantle a system that they did not build. But despite this knowledge- you should do this work anyway, because no one is free until we are ALL free.

If someone is out there & wants to educate themselves is Google the place to start?

TV: Yes. In addition to following anti-racism educators on Instagram, such as @rachel.cargle, @moemotivate, @iamrachelricketts, & BUY their work. Invest in their work. Do not continue to contribute to the system by not investing in the work of BIPOC who are doing this work tirelessly.

As people are opening their eyes & learning & growing, talk to us about a positive experience you had lately. Something that’s made you smile.

TV: Being invited to speak on The Skinny Confidential, duh, has been a dream of mine since I started listening to you guys years ago. Never give up on your dreams. Speak them into existence. And so it is.

What’s something that upset you that you couldn’t control & how did you change your attitude & mindset?

TV: Having to move suddenly to California, & put my house for sale- completely unplanned LOL. I allowed myself to feel emotions. I validated my emotions. And I processed it with friends. And then I re-framed my thoughts around the move!

Can you share your morning routine & rituals?

TV: It goes like this…

+ Stare in the mirror & tell myself I’m so hot & beautiful. LOL.

+ Use my faithful jade roller & under eye roller.

+ I listen to podcasts while getting dressed. ( The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER, The Bitch Bible, & true crime pods are on rotations okurrttt ).

+ I use squalane oil by Biossance or Marula Oil by Drunk Elephant.

+ Twerk daily. LOL.

Nighttime routine & rituals?

TV: For nighttime…

+ I listen to podcasts to unwind ( sleepy time podcasts ).

+ Watch Schitt’s Creek.

+ If I haven’t worn makeup that day ( normal for me during quarantine ) I use micellar water to clean my skin, then witch hazel toner, then squalane oil by Biossance, & an overnight lip balm ( my fave right now is Laneige ). For more on this insane lip mask, stalk this post.

Where can everyone find you? Tell us about your courses.

TV: Courses:

+ Slay Your ImposterMonster

+ Escape The Thought Spiral (for online entrepreneurs)

+ Follow me @topsievandenbosch on Instagram!

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Hope you guys loved this post. Topsie’s podcast episode is such a good one, so be sure to listen if you haven’t already. She talks about anti-racism, educating yourself to be a better person, mindset for entrepreneurs & breaking through mental walls.

And be sure to check out her courses too, especially if you’re an entrepreneur. Topsie can help you achieve your goals with an action plan to to create a better life.

x, lauryn

+ how to get your shit together but keep your wild side.

++ 7 books on anti-racism.

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