Glennon Doyle is a role model to so many women. She’s bold, confident & unapologetically herself.
The first book of hers that I read was Love Warrior. She shares her struggle with bulimia, alcoholism & finding out about her husband’s infidelities. Next up, I read Untamed, the bestseller that you’ve probably heard all about. Then, to bring it full circle ( & because I just needed more Glennon ) I read Carry On, Warrior.
Via Instagram, I reached out to her & proposed that Michael & I fly to Naples, Florida to interview her for The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER podcast. We booked the trip & it was so worth it to interview her in person. This is one of my FAVORITE EPISODES, so much so that I listened to my own podcast AGAIN. Definitely not to hear the sound of my own voice, but to soak up even more Glennon.
There are so many takeaways in this episode but I wanted to share my top 5 with you. After reading this post you’ll want to go listen, & you’ll fucking love it. I promise.
Not only is Glennon Doyle a best selling author, she is an activist & thought leader who has raised over $25 million for women, children & families in crisis.
With that, let’s get to Glennon’s words of wisdom.
Top 5 Takeaways From Interviewing Glennon Doyle:
♡ We’re conditioned for internalized misogyny.
The more powerful, happy & successful a man becomes, the more people like & trust him. The more powerful, happy & successful a woman becomes, the less people like her & trust her.
Glennon started noticing that people would tell her at speaking events that they found it hard to relate to her when she stopped talking about addiction, bulimia & her hardships. When her focus went to Untamed, being in a happy marriage & being successful, people openly told her they couldn’t relate to her.
Society is conditioned to want a woman to be uncertain, humble, & quiet. When a women steps out of those characteristics, it makes us uncomfortable. When we see these traits in a man it also makes us uncomfortable because we’re conditioned to think a man should be a ‘man.’
Glennon even talks about how she falls into this subconscious, knee-jerk reaction.
♡ Social media is a great way to observe & change your thoughts.
It’s so much easier to dismiss or spew hate on social media than it is in real life. Glennon says social media can be a great tool for observing your thoughts. I think this is such a good tip to help change our thought process, especially when it comes to a woman you ‘just don’t like, but don’t know why.’ Because right?
Have you ever seen a super hot girl, or a super confident woman & before you can even think about it you notice yourself just not liking her but you don’t know why??? ‘There’s just something about her.’ This is our internalized misogyny – the ‘knee-jerk’ reaction Glennon talks about. But the best thing about this is that we can change it.
So next time you’re scrolling your feed & you think a thought like the above, STOP, ask yourself WHY??? Why does it irk or bother me that this woman was super into her nails/hair/body/bikini/outfit so wanted to take a picture & share it?
♡ Our lives are in constant response mode.
This is one of my favorite parts because you might have heard me say before that it’s so important ( for me ) to make space to create. If I spent my whole day answering emails & messages I would be constantly working on other people’s to-do lists.
Personally, I relate to this so much. This is the first time in history that people can get ahold of other people constantly, all the time. Glennon describes what this feels like so perfectly in the podcast. At any time of time, no matter what you’re doing, someone can basically text you, call you, email you, DM you & demand something of you. And just like that someone has issued you an IOU.
We all need to be thinking more about what WE want to do & create with our days. Sometimes you have to disappoint other people to not disappoint yourself, which we get into way more in the episode.
The skill of listening is so important, especially right now in 2020. As a former school teacher, Glennon says she can’t think of a more important human characteristic than listening.
People don’t want to be fixed, they don’t want advice, they don’t want people to relate to them, they just need a witness. It’s hard to bite our tongues & just LISTEN.
Our opportunity to actually listen to someone comes EVERY SINGLE TIME someone talks to us. Stop waiting for your turn to talk, get comfortable with pauses & silence, stop planning what you’re going to say when the other person stops talking. Allow it to happen.
♡ Social constructs become cages.
These constructs can be so many things: gender, religion, sexuality, politics, nationality, etc. An example of this would be a little boy playing on the playground at school starts who starts crying, so the others start attacking because he’s breaking out of his ‘cage.’
Most people who identify with these social constructs sacrifice a lot of themselves for protection from the others in their group. It’s essentially abandoning yourself to not abandon your sense of belonging, whether that’s in your family, religion, friend group- you get it.
♡ If you imagine more for yourself, then maybe you were made for more.
We have one life & it’s so short. Glennon goes into what her relationship was like with her husband after he cheated, but this advice doesn’t only apply to relationships. It could be your job, your community-whatever.
If you have a want or need for more from any aspect of your life, it’s ok. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful ( which women are especially conditioned to feel if this is the case ). But you don’t get what you want or need without SHARING it. You need to speak up & say what you want, otherwise how does your significant other or employer know?
A lot of the time we’re so scared of the response & that it will be the ‘catalyst to the end’ ( as Glennon puts it ), that we don’t speak up to live the life that we want.
Be sure to follow @glennondoyle on Instagram. Her & her wife Abby Wambach ( Olympic medalist ) really are just the cutest. Be sure to listen until the end because Glennon has some killer book recs, one which I’m already reading & loving.
Have you read Glennon’s books?
+ scope the latest book club post.
++ check out why I love an old school book light.