The Ultimate Guide to Watching Real Housewives Like a Pro

Zack is back.

You guys have met Zack before when I interviewed him. If you missed it be sure to stalk it here. Zack is my babe. No really. He is my mentee.

He is larger than life, incredibly talented, handsome, charismatic, dynamic & COOL. Plus, he’s my mentee but like I’ve said before, he doesn’t even need me as a mentor because he’s killing it already. 

Zack is a podcast host, entrepreneur ( his Housewives Watching Wine is brilliant ), & he makes reality TV his job. So, how fitting, that in this post Zack is telling us all about his setup when he get ready to watch Real Housewives. Call it a routine or a ritual, but either way, Zack’s tips will ensure you have the best, most low-cortisol Housewives viewing experience. LOL.

With that, let’s welcome back Zack Peter.

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Anyone that knows me knows that I am a true Real Housewives connoisseur. It’s what we break down all throughout the week on #NoFilter with Zack Peter – I’ve interviewed many of the wives ( like Dorinda, Taylor, Margaret ), & I even have my own Housewives-inspired wine line!

So let me tell you, when it’s time to watch a new episode, it’s truly become a full-on ritual. Meredith Marks may live for her bath time, but for me, it’s all about my Housewives Watching time! Anybody that says they don’t have a ritual around this is “such a fucking liar, Camille!” ( But if you don’t, it’s seriously time to start. ) 

Here is my step-by-step guide to watching Real Housewives like a pro:

♡ First up, decompress!

You’re about to embark on lots of drama & we don’t want to raise your cortisol levels! LOL. A little Anti-Stress roll-on from Monique Samuels’s Mila Eve Essentials line does the trick. It’s fresh & minty ( which I love ), but also has some soothing lavender. Keep this handy throughout!

♡ Next, Zambiance.

You MUST light a Karen Huger La’ Dame 3-Wick Candle — you gotta bring that big 3-wick energy, baby! It’s all about setting the mood. Nothing feels more luxurious than Bohemian Fire!

♡ Okay, time to channel your inner Dorit in glam-mode.

+ Lather on the ICE QUEEN FACE OIL. The menthol in it makes it feel so cool & fresh. Especially at night, face oils are a must. They keep you dewy & hydrated, just like a housewife.

+ Then, slap on some Peter Thomas Roth Hydra-Gel Eye Patches — the housewives swear by them. Kyle Richards, Cynthia Bailey, Teresa Giudice, & Brandi Glanville always get spotted wearing these on their shows! I don’t know what kind of Carlton Gebbia voodoo magic these suckers have, but they work like a charm. They help lift, hydrate, & contour with 24K gold. 

+ Pair these with a some HOT MESS ice rolling to smooth & de-puff ( while lathered in oils, of course ).

♡ Next up, it’s time for the snacks!

Nobody does snacks better than Bethenny! I am legit OBSESSED with the Skinnygirl Lime & Salt popcorn. The lime flavor is so subtle, but it’s so yummy! Plus, the crunch will prep you for all the salty, shady commentary you’re about to watch. 

Life isn’t all diamonds & rosé, but it should be! That’s why you need to crack open a can of #NoFilter Housewives Watching Wine to pair with that Skinnygirl popcorn. The fizzy rosé is always a classic, but lately I’ve been in-love with our new fizzy white wine. Both pack a punch with about 13% alcohol-by-volume ( so you’ll get litty city ), but less than a gram a sugar ( so you won’t have that gnarly headache the next day ). 

Each can is designed to fit whatever mood you’re feeling. If you’re ready to relax, pull out the “I’m Disengaging” white wine. Or if you’re feelin’ yourself ( maybe with some Vibez in between commercial breaks, drooling over Evan Goldschneider ), then def pop open the “I’m Gone with the Wine Fabulous” rosé! AND if you’re ready for a Jersey showdown, “Your Husband’s in the Pool” always fits the mood. 

♡ Always keep the receipts. 

Now, if you’re a true tea spilling professional, you know this is the golden rule. Since it’s basically my job to talk all things Housewives & reality TV, I need to make sure I’m taking notes throughout the show. That’s why I have my handy-dandy Erika Jayne notebook! ( We cover her a lot on the podcast. ) My personal favorite is the “Or What?” Erika notebook. It pairs perfectly with the “Or What?” #NoFilter white wine! Go grab your dedicated Housewives notebook so you can keep track of those key moments for when it’s reunion time. 

So now that the skincare routine is down, the snacks & wine are ready, & the notebook is by your side, it’s time to officially hit play. Keep the THE HOT MESS ICE ROLLER handy because you’ll need something to self-soothe ( like Sutton! ) when things start getting heated!

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There you have it, all you need for the perfect Housewives watching situation. Zack is a real hustler & HILARIOUS. Be sure to follow him on all his channels for some major LOLs.

You can listen to #NoFilter with Zack Peter on iTunes, Spotify, & all other major platforms. Or watch full episodes on YouTube. Follow him on Instagram  @nofilterwithzack & @justplainzack & of course, stock-up on some Housewives Watching Wine at www.nofilterwine.com. 

x, lauryn

+ check out posts from my other mentee, Bailey & Deepa.

++ if you’re into RHOSLC, listen to these podcast episodes with Meredith Marks & Heather Gay.

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