The Ladies Coach Shares Badass Relationship Tips

A while ago my girlfriend, Alana, introduced me to Christal. Basically Christal is a badass chick who runs her own business called The Ladies Coach. I checked her out on YouTube & just thought she was amazing! I mean, she’s super spot on when it comes to relationships.

SO. I figured I had to share Christal’s tips/tricks with you guys. Whether you’re struggling through a tough relationship, about to get married ( eek! ), already married, or single & ready to mingle, these tips & tricks WILL resonate.

( My number one relationship tip would be, find your own independence ( remember this post? ) & also, gotta throw it in there: DON’T SETTLE ).

Anyway, Christal is full of love advice that every girl should know.

Also, I’d love if you guys shared your relationship advice below in the comment section. I have heard the most amazing tips from YOU. Seriously though, I read every single comment!

Ok, happy Sunday night reading…meet Christal:

| Introduce yourself/tell us what you do. |

Christal Fuentes: Hi ladies, my name is Christal Fuentes, I’m a Relationship Coach for women and the founder of The Ladies Coach, which is an online “platform” that gives women access to experts and tools that could make their life a little easier.

| An example of a healthy relationship? |

CF: What I always say is, “The relationship you have with yourself sets the foundation for the relationships you have with others.”

A healthy intimate relationship starts with YOU! Because your standards begin with YOU!

1.| You want respect? You must first RESPECT yourself.

2.| You want to be loved for who you are? You must appreciate and love who you are FIRST.

3.| You want someone who has common values? You have to get to know what those values are FIRST.

4.| You want to be able communicate your needs? You need to FIRST open up that dialogue within, WITHOUT judgment.

5.| You want a PASSIONATE sex life? You have to be able to stop the war you have on your body…. (Yes, ladies I’m talking to YOU!) Your body is beautiful where she is. Appreciate her!

By the way… those are five SOLID keys to a healthy relationship, but notice that they ALL begin with YOU!

You must build that foundation FIRST, because in order to give and receive love, you have to really love who you are and be connected to what you are able to offer.

| An example of an unhealthy relationship? |

CF: An unhealthy/toxic relationship is any relationship based off FEAR.

Whether you are staying in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone, or because you are AFRAID to leave, they are both relationships that are controlled by fear.

But the problem is, when we don’t have a baseline standard for what we will allow from others, we won’t REALIZE that we are in toxic relationships. Most people in toxic relationships have lived in toxicity for so long that they don’t see the danger toxic relationships play.

The next question I will be answering is VERY important if you do realize you are in a FEAR based relationship, but first, here are some examples so you get more of an idea…

If you are afraid to leave a relationship for ANY reason, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you find yourself feeling jealous and untrusting of your mate, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you constantly fight or argue in order to bring temporary passion or even to get attention, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you are unable to truly be yourself, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you are disrespectful to each other either verbally, emotionally or physically, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you do things for your partner hoping for a “return,” you are in a fear based relationship.
If you are afraid of your partner, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you cringe at the thought of communicating your feelings to a significant other, you are in a fear based relationship.

| Advice for someone who’s in a relationship that’s suffocating & poisonous? |

CF: Here is a quote I want you to remember that comes from a teacher I look up to, Tony Robbins… (I might be misquoting it a bit but the point is the same).

“You will stay in a relationship you feel treats you BETTER than how you treat yourself.”

…Let that sink in a bit…

Again, how we treat ourselves sets the STANDARD of how others will treat us, and if we think they treat us BETTER, we will stay in toxic relationships MUCH longer than we need to.

If you or a friend is in an unhealthy relationship, here are few questions I’d like you to answer:

What feeling am I trying to achieve? Example: Is it feeling wanted? Is it fear of being alone?

What top 3 emotions do I feel consistently through this relationship? Are there new feelings I can replace these with?

What 2 things can I start doing now to connect with myself in positive ways and feel MORE of what I want to feel without depending on my relationship?

These questions certainly don’t fix the relationship, but it’s a start to building communication and connection to yourself. Self-dialogue is powerful ladies, so it is important to understand what thoughts & questions are going through our mind.

The more loving and powerful we get with those, the more love and connection we build with ourselves.

| Best tip when it comes to having a happy relationship? |

CF: You have to LIKE the person you are with. Everyone thinks LOVE is most important but the key to really sustaining a healthy relationship is to “like” who they are. I mean, why do we hang around our besties? Because we LIKE who they are and how they make us feel right?

We aren’t forced to be friends with them because we “love” them, we are friends with them because we like the people they are and how they amplify our life. The same should go with your significant other!

When you are best friends, you can open up the communication and allow freedom in your relationship…& that just feels happy!

| Something a woman can do for a man to make them feel special? |

CF: Ladies, appreciate your man!

If you have a good man, he just wants to make you happy, it really is that simple.

The masculine energy just wants to feel purposeful and feel appreciated for what he brings to the relationship. Every guy is different though so it is YOUR job to find what ways HE likes to be celebrated.

| Best way to communicate your feelings to guy? |
CF: Wheew! Communication with a guy is SOOOO different than communicating to our fellow ladies. We can’t expect our guy to be “hairier women,” but we often times EXPECT them to understand and communicate the same way our girlfriends do…. And the truth is THEY CAN’T!

With that said, here are 3 things to remember before communicating your feelings:

♡ Leave your ego at the door: This goes for both partners but when we come into a discussion with our ego’s strapped on, we set the other person up for failure immediately. Especially if, God forbid, they say something wrong! Haha!

♡ Be clear about what you want to express: I know this is hard ladies, especially because we are emotional creatures but we have to remember, our men can’t follow along like our girlfriends can! They will loose focus if it’s not clear what you are asking.

♡ Understand their intentions: The KEY to any successful communication is to understand their intentions. But that goes out the window with our significant others because we hold such HIGH expectations of them. Always keep in mind that ( a good man ) will always have your best interests at heart and will only want to serve you. If you remember this, it will allow you to feel more open and safe to him. And a man LOVES to be able to make you feel safe!

| One word to describe a healthy, functioning relationship? |

CF: Peaceful.

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