I have some really devastating, shitty news. In fact, it’s the saddest news I’ve ever publicly shared on this blog.

My grandma, The Nanz, passed away four weeks ago.

As you can imagine the loss has not been easy on my family.

You guys know, she was my best friend. I spoke to her everyday, if not two or three times a day. We made a point to get together weekly.

If I’ve seemed distant, it’s because I am. If I’ve seemed distracted, it’s because I am. If I’ve seemed off, it’s because I am. I’ve been coping with a huge loss. In all honesty, it feels like a limb is gone.

Losing my grandma has been just…gut–wrenching.

I have not been ready to share this with anyone but today I woke up & was ready. Normally I would shy away from something so very personal, so close to my heart, but I feel like she was such a bright light on The Skinny Confidential that it’s unfair to keep her passing from you guys.

Besides, she was the biggest star of this blog.

My grandma’s passing took 8 painful weeks. So the last three months have been…stressful. Incredibly stressful on me & my family.

Even though my heart is sad & this loss is so difficult, I find peace in looking back on her life with a smile. She was THE MOST dynamic, special woman I have ever met. Everyone loved her. I swear I’ve never seen anyone with more friends. Her will to live was strong. My sister just had a baby, Daxton & she had many chic looks planned out for our wedding.

For those of you who don’t know, The Nanz’s real name was Mary Evarts.

On that note, I wanted to share this beautiful tribute of her work on The Skinny Confidential:

Having some form of privacy is very important to me. I’m guarded with specific things because it’s not just about me, there are other people involved & it’s not always my business to involve them. I do, however, want to share a very small snippet of some words at her wake. Here’s a tiny piece of my speech:

I always knew where to find The Nanz on a Wednesday.

She was either having a blowout with a glass of champagne alongside her friend & hairstylist, Shawn, at the post office, or walking around Home Goods with Slipper, her teacup chihuahua perched in a shopping cart.

Of course she was doing all of these things in oversized gold glasses because I once told her it was cool to wear sunglasses indoors.

Walking around Home Goods was one of her favorite things to do. It was how she got her cardio. Slipper loved it too. Everyone that worked there knew her ( & him ) on first name basis.

Sometimes I’d surprise her at the post office or grocery store & we’d go to this hole in the wall sushi joint called Tabu. We’d always order the same thing: I’d get a veggie avocado roll & she’d get the vegetable tempura. Of course, each of us would always have a glass or two of Pinot Grigio, still both wearing our oversized sunglasses. We’d gossip like best friends. That’s what I loved most about her.

My grandma was not only my grandma but my best friend.

I think the reason this loss is so difficult for so many people is because she was SO many people’s friend.

She had friends everywhere. At the bank, at Drybar, the vet, her home complex, old friends, new friends, young friends, family friends, friends from different states, friends on the Internet, my friends were even her friends. Everywhere she went she made friends.

A lot of them would call her Miss Mary or The Nanz.

People loved The Nanz. She may have been in her late eighties but she was sharp as a whip. Sometimes I’d say vulgar, perverted jokes thinking she wasn’t hip enough to understand but OOOOHHHH she was.

SO hip in fact, she was working up until the day she passed. Millions of people all over the world fell in love with her through the Internet. She became known as The Nanz. She was approached by flower companies, spice companies, & even a bracelet company to rock their products. No surprise but Snapchat also fell in love with her. People were always requesting more of The Nanz. Basically she was a real hustler.

The last two years of her life people would come up to her and ask her if she was ‘The Nanz.’ One day she called me out of the blue & said “Lauryn, I’m becoming famous.” 

I laughed & laughed.

Laughing was the theme with her though. She called Uber “Uboorah”, had a best friend named BJ, thought Bingo was dumb and for “old people”, & told me she was sick of all the “SUVS” taking up street space around town… I had to let her know they were actually called S-U-V’s, not “SUVS.”

She was really the brightest light in my life.

The speech goes on but I’ll leave it there. I feel like that’s a happy snippet to share with you guys because so many of you loved her. And I have to tell you, & I mean this, she LOVED all of you. The attention she received from TSC readers in her later years made her feel very special.

Side story: a TSC reader named Rachel ended up being one of her nurses. Rachel recognized The Nanz in the hospital & would sit with her daily, getting to know my grandma. Over the weeks the formed a friendship. So cool! Rachel & I are going to meet for coffee next week. The Internet can be a pretty spectacular place. This special friendship they formed gives me comfort.

…Crazy, you guys liked her and her hot pink bomber so much you even wanted her on the podcast ( episode 16 if you want to listen )! She came on & told us all to “look outside at the shrubs” if we were ever feeling down or depressed. I’m looking at the shrubs everyday now : ).

If you’re new to the blog & haven’t gotten a chance to get acquainted with her…please do, her words of wisdom are one of a kind:

♡ Meet The Nanz
♡ Whispering Angel with The Nanz
♡ The Best Ever Holiday Pecans
♡ Relationship Realness with The Nanz
♡ The OG Egg Salad
♡ The Nanz’ Insider Flower Tips

I don’t really know what to say here. If you’ve detected a sadness in me in the last 3 months it’s because there is. Definitely have had to take time away for a few days here and there & just…grieve. For the past couple months, I’ve been in a sad space. Life is hard. It’s not easy; nothing worth while is easy…And this certainly has not been easy on me or my family. My amazing dad ( her son ), Brad, was her best friend too. So my heart hurts for him. It hurts for my sisters, my brother, my stepmom, The Nanz’s daughter, my cousin, & all her friends. My heart aches for any of you who have lost a grandparent.

The loss is deep.

There has been a lot of loss in my life & through that loss I’ve realized that you have to look at the good. The good was that I had my grandma until she was in her late eighties. The good was that I was able to document so many special moments on this blog; moments that I will cherish forever. The Nanz got to meet the love of my life. They formed a very special, funny relationship. She was able to drink champagne with me, laugh, AND WORK! Crazy, but man did she work, you guys. I had her on-call to shoot blog content all the time. Such a cool memory. Our favorite moments were simple though: enjoying crackers, Gruyère cheese, cornichons mini pickles & listening to the tennis balls outside her home.

This post is to honor her & to let all of you know what’s going on because I feel like so many of you loved her. I can’t even believe how many people have asked for more posts on her. Hundreds. If not thousands. To not tell you guys just didn’t feel right.

Ok, so this was by no means easy to write. But I will be ok. I just feel…sad. Knowing her though, she’d tell me to “throw on some oversized sunglasses, pour a glass of rosé, & listen to a little Bossanova, Kitty Kat.”

Again, thank you all for showing her such kindness on the blog, she adored each & every one of you.

xoxo, lauryn

+ a big thank you to Chris Tran who helped put together these amazing pictures & video.