valentines day woo coconut lube boobs pajamas sexuality books untrue

Spicy Valentine’s Day Gifts

by
LAURYN

Meow! Valentine’s day is right around the corner which means it’s time to milk your s/o for everything can possibly milk them for. Let’s get strategic about it.

I make Valentine’s day the biggest parade of the century to Michael. I overplay it & I make it a way bigger deal than I even think it is. &, I say it’s Valentine’s week, not day.

Let’s get into some really fun, kinky Valentine’s gifts I think you & your s/o will love.

♡ Woo Lube

Woo is the best lube ever. Not only does it makes sex better, it tastes like a vanilla cupcake. It’s natural & organic, doesn’t mess with your PH, has no nasty chemicals, can work as a massage oil, & only has 4 ingredients:

♡ unrefined virgin coconut oil: antibacterial, organic, PH balancing.
♡ vanilla essence: edible, SORT OF cupcake flavor.
♡ beeswax: consistency is on point, keeps on going.
♡ stevia: sweet flavor…so it’s delicious if you eat it.

Be sure to have this sitting on your man or woman’s nightstand with a big red bow around it. ( Use the code SKINNY at checkout for 20% off )

Pink Frother

We talked about this pink frother on my new Instagram account @and.the.skinny.was.like. It’s my new micro-blogging account where there’s no perfect pictures, it’s just straight to the point deets about my favorite products that I think everyone should have. Moving on…. The pink frother…. I use this every single morning to blend my cinnamon, inulin coffee. This one is pink so it’s perfect for Valentine’s day. Use it to froth up a coffee while you’re making heart-shaped waffles with pink sprinkles on top. This frother makes your coffee the perfect consistency & your loved one will be about it.

Weener Kleener

I get this for Michael every year. It’s a bar of soap that’s a ring, & you stick your dick in the hole. It adds a whole new dimension of pleasure to the shower- LOL, but really what it does is really clean things…down there for HIM. “Just a few strokes & your weiner is cleaner than a whistle.” This is something every guy needs- Michael loves it ( eer, I think he does? ).

♡ Penis Pasta

Penis pasta goes great with a Weiner Cleaner. Cook your husband a homemade meal with wiener pasta & Rao’s Arrabiata sauce. It’s perfect for a Valentine’s date night meal & it’s actually really good. Whenever Michael is being a dick I make it for him.

Pajamas

These PJs I got because I saw some designer ones that were $800 but these were on Amazon for $26. These are so comfortable, I wear them all the time & they look super chic & expensive so this is a great gift for your woman. Hint, hint guys. Since we’re talking about women’s pajamas, I think it’s only fair to mention the guys. These silk striped pajamas have a masculine look and are lightweight.It’s cute to match so obviously I got Michael a pair too.

♡ TSC Phone Case – The Boobs

This case is perfect for any guy or girl. It’s super cute to get for your husband or man because there’s titties on it. I designed this case 2 years ago & I still use it all the time. You can shop all TSC cases on Casetify. You guys know I love talking about boobs- it’s why I have no problem sharing my boob job experience ( here & here ). Surprise, surprise, this is Michael’s favorite case too.

♡ Fila Sneakers – men’s & women’s

Michael & I both have these- we’re twins. I think these are really cool sneakers to wear with your s/o. I always wear them with sweats or track pants, they’re so comfy & cool- Kylie Jenner loves them too. You could wear these with big, thick, white socks or PEDS. Either looks cool.

♡ Untrue by Wednesday Martin

This book is all about exploration of sexuality & it’s a fun, spicy book for Valentine’s day. Wednesday Martin came on the podcast so be sure to check out her episode. She talked all about infidelity & monogamy. This book is all about exploration of sexuality & it’s a fun, spicy book for Valentine’s day. She blends social science with interviews from real women & other sex experts to really dive into women & sexuality.

♡ Strawberry Candies

If your grandma didn’t have these in a crystal dish when you were 5 years old, where you even living? These candies are so nostalgic & iconic & everyone knows what they are. It’s fun to bring something back that’s so nostalgic & I like throw these in a bowl on my counter now. Everyone who walks in takes 5 & they’re the perfect red for Valentine’s day. Get 2 pounds & keep refilling your crystal bowl.

These are some Valentine’s day ideas for you & s/o. I wanted to keep it cheeky, spicy & sexy. I know everyone is throwing roses & chocolate at you so I wanted to mix it up.

Does anyone have any sassy Valentine’s day plans?

Any other funny gifts you can recommend to me? You know I love to give Michael anything that involves a penis, so send your tips.

x, lauryn

+ Since we’re on the subject of relationships, be sure to checkout this post & podcast.

KEEP IT SPICY

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