Just Not The Biggest Schmoozer

So this is a random topic but that’s no surprise I guess.

The whole networking thing.

Regardless, wanted to jot down some thoughts on networking.

To be entirely honest, I’m not the biggest networker. It’s not to say I don’t LIKE being around people— because I DO, I DO, I DO. For the record, I enjoy meeting people in my industry too…but I’m just not a fan of networking events.

In fact, there’s probably about 10+ a day I politely decline.

There are multiple reasons for checking the ‘unable to attend’ box, which we’ll get to.

But first, picture this: how many of you have ever spoken to someone & you can feel them looking over your shoulder, looking for the next ‘IT’ person to talk to. Looking for someone who has something ‘better’ to say. Let’s call it, a real convo hopper, k?

To be blunt: they’re looking for the next best thing?

GROSS.YUCK. NO THX.

Google ‘I hate networking‘ & a million sites will pop up on why you OMG, OMG have to network or your business will FAIL.

…….YAWN.

In fact, there are even ADs on Facebook currently telling us to bite the bullet & JUST network.

But PLEASE.

Firstly, what ( WHAT ) the hell is networking anyway?

To me, it’s usually a pond full of lily pads. Jumping from one lily pad to the next trying to get to the other side of the pond, while stepping over each lily pad on the way.

The thought of networking my way across the pond is just…..HMMMmmm, I dunno? Boring. Uneventful. Predictable. SOMETIMES ( a lot of the time? ) even a big, fat waste of time.

( I can’t stand predictable unless it’s a great moment on Housewives ).

Of course, some networking events are necessary. But some are just NOT. Why? Well:

Saying no to events has allowed me to focus on growing the brand…not my network.

Yes, it’s true. Spending time away from parties & events allows me to focus on the long game, not the short game. I direct my time & energy towards building the brand, not a network of bloggers.

I feel like putting time towards The Skinny Confidential as a whole is what works best for me. It’s not so much about who I know all the time & what someone else can do for me…it’s more about what the fuck I can do for myself to get to where I want to be.

…& it’s not always about who you know.

To be real, there are plenty of VERY, VERY successful people who have gotten to an insanely successful place by not ‘knowing’ someone who’s ‘someone.’ I’m not saying it doesn’t pay to have friends in high places, I’m just saying don’t push it. Let it happen naturally. Many networking events feel forced & like overkill.

Also, nowadays you can network on the Internet without mingling over overly sweet glasses of chard & tuna tartar tray pass hors-d’oeuvre.

At the end of day, I believe it’s important to create your own opportunities.

I feel like people create their own opportunities. You are in charge of your destiny, career, & LIFE. What a bore life would be if it were reliant on someone else’s success to get to where you want.

Be an in charge bossy bitch. & of course, make real friends along the way.

LOOK, I get networking if it’s 100% ( really, a full 100% percent) relevant to building your business. For instance, it’s important if you’re attending a convention based on your craft looking for an internship, BUT at the end of the day, I believe you need to really gauge networking.

Feel out what’s right for you, feel out what’s WRONG FOR YOU.

No need to be one of those people who needs to attend the opening of an envelope.

Besides there’s something empowering about not attending EVERY single party in the world.

Realness: selfishly, I also enjoy a Friday night at home with my computer & a glass of Pinot Noir networking with my chihuahuas. Actually I’m quite skilled at this type of networking.

I guess my point is: YOU DO YOU. I am not the blogger networker of the century. I’ll never be. I’ll never be at every blogger brunch talking Instagram feeds and gift boxes. Because at the end of the day, I blog for YOU GUYS. I just don’t have the biggest interest in networking with every blogger on the planet. Personally I’d rather project my energy towards YOU. Besides, you’re what drives The Skinny Confidential…not other bloggers.

( & hey, some people like to network for the Instagram tag. I’m entirely too lazy for that, HA! ).

Don’t get me wrong: I love people who enjoy the same craft. For instance, I attended a Pinterest seminar a few months ago that benefited the business of The Skinny Confidential, BUT if it doesn’t make sense ( AKA meeting you guys or helping business growth ), it’s not for me.

Plain & simple.

Does that make sense?

Ok, switching gears: how fun is this outfit? I feel like I can say that because it was designed by my friend, Erica of Fashionlush. You haveeee to stalk her whole collection. Very much about the great white tee with a black mini. I paired them with a leather jacket over the shoulders & a Forever21 cross body that looks like it’s $2398423 dollars…but it’s $15 bucks. Yes please, I live for a good Forever find.

Oh! Also, new episode of The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER PODCAST is live: sexting, anxiety, hiring, & rallying…in the bedroom. Listen here.

Anyway, we’re headed to dinner with friends at our little hole in the wall Italian place. Excited for some Dover sole with capers & lemon ( side of chile flakes please! ). Literally drooling on the keyboard so…YUM.

See you tomorrow, lauryn x

P.S. how boobie-ish is this shirt? I love a good low V.

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