HELLO! HI! HOW ARE YOU!
Let me set the scene: it’s Monday night. Late night. 11:44 pm. Getting to the whole writing thing later because I spent the day shooting, returning e-mails, & podcasting. This post couldn’t wait another second.
Well I need to tell you something, of course. Something I have been thinking very hard about. LIKE WE GOTTA TALK, K?…BECAUSE WHO CARES ABOUT ANYTHING BESIDES THIS: do you have a hotel robe?
DON’T answer that yet.
Just wait for me to state my case, k?
You need one, I need another one, my dad needs one, everyone needs one. Hand them out like candy cane stocking stuffers on Christmas morning. Buy them as gifts. Sprinkle the love all over the world. Everyone needs a hotel robe.
No seriously, I’m that passionate about them. They’re SUCH a necessity.
I’m telling you- if you’ve read The Skinny Confidential for a while, this is one of those things we can go ahead & add to the MASTER LIST. Really, there’s just fucking something about a hotel robe.
Here’s the deal: I got sent one randomly from Venus Fleur. Which isn’t a robe company actually, it’s a gorgeous flower company. But that’s neither here nor there.
SURE- you can steal a hotel robe from a hotel but other people have worn it. & also, I don’t steal. So there’s that. OR you can buy your own! You should know: this robe can’t just be any old robe, it needs to be hotel-y. You know what I mean here right? Like PLUSH. DELICIOUS. FLUFFY. WHITE OR MAYBE A BABY BLUE WILL DO. SOMETHING THAT’S SO LUSCIOUS TO BE IN. VA-VA-VOOM.
If you need to understand specifically why you need one at home, here’s why:
HOTEL ROBE BENEFITS INCLUDE:
♡ A fluffy, delicious robe that hangs waiting for you, every night when you come home.
♡ You don’t have to wash the robe often…at least I don’t.
♡ It’s easy to put on, easy to take off ( GREAT FOR A QUICKIE! ).
♡ Requires no underwear- I go nude under my robe.
♡ ROBE ACTIVITIES INCLUDE: reading, sleeping, lying around, eating in bed, watching TV, being lazy, working on your computer ( in bed ), watching more TV, maybe ringing a bell from bed to demand more hummus, &/or snuggling with your dog, cat, boyfriend.
♡ You can sleep in it. No really, I do it all the time.
♡ You feel like you’re in a five-star hotel ( SORT OF AN ELOISE SITUATION IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT! ). But you’re not- you’re home in your bed, all perfect & warm wrapped in a big, fluffy HOTEL ROBE.
Really though, it was one of those things like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE.
I wear mine almost every night. I wear it when I’m applying makeup. I wear it when I’m making the bed, cooking breakfast, whipping up my detox AM drink– FOR EVERYTHING! I EVEN like to sleep in it. Especially on a lazy-ass Sunday. So nice waking up next to a hot mint tea on a coffee warmer, NUDE ( !!! ) & reaching for your hotel robe. Nothing better actually.
It’s kind of like unbuttoning your jeans when no one’s looking at a stop light because you just ate too many Sour Patch Kids…but you’re at home, in bed.
Want to be a total pig slob eating hummus & chips in bed on Sunday? You need a hotel robe.
Want to come out of a hot SPA-LIKE eucalyptus shower & write a blog post in bed? You need a hotel robe.
Want to watch Vanderpump Rules while sipping on magnesium tea? You need a hotel robe.
Oh! Wait! You’re a guy? No worries! YOU NEED ONE TOO. Think about all the things that can hang loose under your hotel robe. Balls & all!
Michael even got one. He said it really allowed him to “let it all hang out.” I’m just saying. This is what he said. WHO ON EARTH DOESN’T WANT TO LET IT ALL HANG OUT.
It’s all really fab if you think about it.
DO YOU HAVE A HOTEL ROBE?
+ this one is just like the one I wear everyday. Yes I like to wear it everyday. Thank me later.
++ read about WHY YOU NEED AN ACUPRESSURE MAT HERE.
BE BOUGIE IN YOUR HOTEL ROBE, TSC-STYLE.