{ summer cocktail essentials }
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To be entirely transparent with you, I am emotionally drained.
Long story, but something unfortunate happened to a family member last week so I’ve been really trying to focus a lot of energy towards that person…& tonight, I cannot lie, I am tired. Pooped. Wiped. Not even like work / workout / didn’t sleep kind of tired.
More like drained.
Sort of feel like a Dementor from Harry Potter sucked my soul.
…or just a deflated balloon, at least.
I, like you, have everyday family / work / friend problems. It’s something to talk about & we’ll get there one day. We do, in fact, have many more nights & many more posts to come.
Just not on tonight’s post because I’m pooped.
{ lately on Instagram ( new giveaway went up today too! ) }
Worrying is a funny thing.
If you really think about it – it’s weird.
You know someone once told me:
“Worrying is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.”
& every time guys, EVERY TIME, I worry I remind myself of this saying.
Yet I still rock in the chair?
Very odd. I feel like especially as women, we worry. We just do, you know? It’s almost like it’s ingrained in us.
You go around in a circle, worrying. Half the stuff we’re worrying about never even happens. The other half is never as bad as we anticipate. Pointless to worry, if you really think about it.
Ultimately though, after last week I’ve realized worrying has done nothing to control the family member’s situation. In fact, it’s sucked my energy & personality which doesn’t help THEM at all. I’d be of more use if I wasn’t worrying at all.
Oh, the THOUGHT of NOT worrying. Sounds kind of nice, no?
{ this morning’s ‘Energy In A Spoon‘ }
What I’ve realized is it takes way too much energy to over-worry. Really, I cannot tell you how much energy it’s occupied in my brain for the last week & a half. BUT this week is a new week & I’m actively working on directing any worry towards something more positive. We all make the mistake of worrying too much. Perhaps it’s just human nature.
And that, guys, is where I’m at today.
How do you overcome worry? How do you get off the rocking chair? & how, HOW do you redirect your worries into something positive?
Hope I didn’t depress you, it’s just where I’m at today. Tomorrow’s a new day! It’s all part of life really.
Off to get some much-needed rest. Will have something more fun for ya tomorrow. Promise.
- lauryn x
+ for a laugh: a new podcast episode is up called ‘The Hangover Podcast’ =). enjoy!
{ photos }
{ drinking the The Hangover Elixir | tumbler }
{ NO JOKE, this is the BEST fucking to-go cereal EVER }
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I totally need to start living by that quote about worrying. Such a perfect way to put it!
BlondieInTheCity.com
It’s such a great reminder!! xx
I agree, I need to too!
Sometimes when I’m really worried about something, I like to journal about it. I think writing about all of your thoughts on it kind of gets it out of your system. Then when when the thoughts arise afterward I close my eyes and concentrate on my breath for a few moments to calm my mind. I hope things workout okay for your family member.
Journaling is a great idea Chelsa!! Thanks for the warm wishes and advice <3 xx
One of the best posts you’ve had in awhile-perfect balance of insight, substance, and beautiful aesthetics. Thank you, this was exactly what I needed to read today.
Aw thank you Kathleen! I really appreciate that <3 xx
Sending good vibes your way! I completely understand as I am an over-thinker and worry a lot. But that also means we care more, like we care A LOT. Traits of passionate people.
When I start to worry: I write down a list, some sort of action plan and then I ACT immediately. If it’s a family member or friend, I meditate. I legit get on my mat and just pray. And of course, INTERVALS (as recommended by my FAV blogger <3 ).
Muah!
Yes!! Love that idea Priyanka of creating a plan and just acting or mediating for family/friends. Thanks for sharing <3 xx
I first try to remove myself from the person/thing/environment that’s making me feel this way. The only way that you can recover is by having a fresh space to be in and to contemplate on what you need to do and focus on. I’ve had terrible relations with family and I had to remove myself from them and interact with them on a limited basis.
Usually, I try to invest myself into improving myself more, looking towards my future, blogging/writing, my dog, sleeping. After a day or so I’m usually fresh-faced and ready to kick ass and take names.
That’s so true Danielle! Having time to recharge is exactly what I need!! Thanks for sharing your tips <3 xx
I’m sorry Lauryn :/ Two weeks ago I received some awful news about a close family member as well. This post resonated so strongly for me. I too have a history of anxiety.. It’s been a huge sinking weight in my stomach and on my mind. The day after I found out, I signed up for my first SoulCycle class and it was game changing. I’ve gone 11 times since then. It’s helped me to physically move through some of the emotions of it.. for the rest of the worry, writing down my thoughts somehow helps offload it. Not a magical solution but what’s working for me lately.
Sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with a similar situation Sam!! I love your way of moving through it. I hope it gets easier and better <3 xx
HI Lauryn,
I hope you’re family member is doing ok–or at least better then they have been. I had/have a similar situation. Back in December, my uncle got diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, and it’s nothing but worrying, stressing, draining emotions to try to heal him and myself (along with the entire family). It does get easier, I’m sure you know, it just takes time. Accepting that you can’t fix things and that you’re not in control (wayyyy easier said than done) is the only way that it ever seems to get a little easier for me. I deal with anxiety on a daily basis, so trust me when I say that I understand the pain you’re going through and stress. It really is like a dementor (I’m a HUGE HP fan). On top of that, my mom has had 3 surgeries this year, and is looking to have another. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or try. Doesn’t mean it will be sweet and delicious lemonade, but at least you’ve tried to do something to make you feel better. Don’t push yourself in this hard time. The best thing to do is just listen to your body. If you need sleep, then by god sleep. If you need to drink, well, start drinking. And if you just need support and friendship, surround yourself with those you love most. It will get better. Thanks for everything you do for us everyday! We all support you!
xoxo
Lindsey
Wow sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with all of that Lindsey!! That is not easy. Thank YOU for the advice I appreciate it. Sending lots of positive energy to you and your family <3 xx
Did I post this wrong? Do I have to put a Website in to get a reply?
I too am a (chronic) worrier and it is something I really need to actively get ahead of, or it will consume me. Here’s one I like to keep in mind when I get sucked in:
“Worrying only robs us of enjoying the present with no real impact on the future”.
My mantra is typically to control the controllables in my life, have faith in the rest and hope things somehow fall into place.
Sending positive vibes and prayers your way.
That is a great mantra and saying. LOVE it!! Thanks for sharing Brianna <3 xx
My husband is undergoing lots of testing to figure out what is going on with his health. We also have a 2year old. We adopted this saying to keep us focused on having fun with our daughter in the moment.
“Live in the needs of the day.”
When we narrow ourselves to the needs of our day like playing with play dough, doing tasks at work, cooking meals, tending to our home (not wants or random musings or what ifs in the future) then it removes our worry.
Wow I love that saying Nadya! Definitely going to keep that in mind. I hope everything turns out all right with your husband!! <3 xx
hey gorgeous,
wow this is so weird because last night I had this major anxiety attack because I’ve just been so fucking stressed and worried. we are getting married in 3 weeks and like everything is a big deal and needs to be doen RIGHT NOW…on top of that work is crazy..its like — sometimes i just feel like i can’t keep up, ya know? I’m sorry about your family member…i’m sending love and prayers to them. That always sucks when you can’t control the situation but you’re stuck in a place of feeling like you need to try. I love that quote and will remember that one from now on.
Good luck and I hope everything turns out ok!!! xo
@stylemelauren
http://www.stylemelauren.com
Ah sorry you’ve been so stressed too babe! But congratulations on your wedding! SO exciting!! I know exactly what you mean. Thanks for the sweet wishes and good luck to YOU Lauren <3 <3 xx
Oh Lauryn, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Worrying is so emotionally draining and it’s a funny thing because it takes EVERYTHING from you, including sleep. I can be quite the Alice in Wonderland white rabbit (and if you notice in the film, his eyes get redder and more bloodshot). Sometimes the only thing you can do is just get outside of yourself and just be. Take the time to reflect, send positivity (this sounds hokey but goes a long way), and again, just be. I’m all about secret places – I know this sounds weird, but here in both SF and when I lived in Dallas, secret places were a place that I found soothing (usually by water), where I can go with some champagne in a s’well bottle (lol..), my headphones, and only bring my phone for the music. It really does wonders. I so have a few other tips – feel free to message me at any time, trust me, I go through this more times than I’d like to admit and am here for you! I know that sounds crazy but seriously though. When I was going through just very trying times, having someone to just e-mail helped…a lot. Sending so much healing and positive vibes your way and as a long time TSC reader, I appreciate your transparency. You have so many not just readers but FRIENDS who truly are about the gorgeous girl behind the screen! x Shannon
Wow thank you SO much Shannon!! I LOVE that idea of secret spots. I am officially on the hunt : )) xx
I really enjoy more personal posts. I know you try and stay away from them…but it does make you feel more relatable and human. Sometimes the way people perceive their lives on social media and blogs is all picture perfect…a highlight real of their life. I look up to people who are able to just say whatever the F is going on with their lives, good, bad, or ugly, and it’s a positive space, not a depressing one, when you are covering topics that are important and actually mean something deep down to people.
Aw thanks Charlotte!!! I really do try to keep this as an inspiring experience but I’ll work on sharing more because it can be easy to forget that everyone struggles. xx
All good things your way, Lauryn! Thanks for being honest about the fact that even though you are a beautiful, smart, talented and loving woman – you are indeed – a woman. Human just like the rest of us. I appreciate your honesty and send love and peaceful feelings to you and yours!
Thanks Jessica!! Sharing our struggles is so important because it can be easy to forget that everyone struggles. xx
Worrying all the time is really something I struggle with. I know its useless, but i have a hard time shaking it off. exercise and yoga help. Also talking to friends and hearing they worry too. It has actually gotten worse as I have gotten older and had my daughter…maybe more stuff to worry about now. I’m well into my 40’s and I really need to get a better handle on my tendency to worry. My old boss said to me one time “90% of what we worry about never happens and the other 10% there was nothing you could do about it anyway”
That it so true Lacey! Life usually never happens the way we worry it will. xx
I struggle with worrying every single day. Its draining, exhausting and as you say, completely pointless! I love to hear really REAL posts like this from you. Keep em coming. And keep your chin up! Reading your blog is something that brightens my day xxx
AW thank you Alana!! YOU just brightened my day a bit <3 xx
That quote is so true and refreshing to see. I could have used that mindset recently while making a big move. I have not yet figured out how to get off the rocking chair, but like you said, tomorrow is another day and all we can do is try and do a little better.
If you figure out any tips please share Kandace!! Hope you move is going well : )) xx
GIRL I feel this so much. I’m a chronic worrier- thanks anxiety! It’s so effing hard to find balance, no matter how much I want to. I find myself drained a lot too & it’s in those moments that yoga & meditation/prayer really help.
Sending prayers/ good vibes out to your family member! & you 🙂
http://www.withdignityandcoffee.com
It can be so tough! So sweet Kaeleen thanks!! xx
I hope things get better soon for you and for your family. Sending you all the positive energy!
XoXo,
Tamara – LoveofMode.com
Thanks so much Tamara!! xx
I recently read Kate Hudson’s book: Pretty Happy. One thing that has stuck with me and that i put on my Vision Board (mood board, drawing board, etc) is that: A Mindful person doesn’t take on other’s emotions. I used to want to help and pump everyone up around me so much that i would walk away feeling drained and kind of like, hey, who is helping me kind of feeling. Anyhow natural progression of age and that quote from KATE has been life changing. I also agree with your comment of the rocking chair, 100%…..but honestly, i also tell myself i have to much LIVING to do to worry about everything. xoxoxooxoxox – P.s. found your blog 2 weeks ago, obsessed…i follow you on all social media platforms and just love everything you. I feel like we would totally be BFFs.
So i know you and micheal are big readers so chances are you’re already read this book, but i’d like to recommend ‘7 habits of highly effective people’ by stephen covey to you.
It has this part about how to focus on the things you CAN change, instead of the things you CANT. It literally changed my whole life. Hope it helps and i wish you and your family the best! XX