Maybe The Weirdest, Most FLATTERING Halloween Tip EVER?

LET’S FACE IT: Halloween costumes can be um, on the tighter, more revealing side.

I mean have you guys seen the costumes lately? THEY SHOW SOME SERIOUS SKIN.

On that note, I’m going to introduce you to one of my best kept Halloween secrets:

HOOTERS TIGHTS

Firstly, no this post isn’t sponsored by Hooters. The truth is, I’ve been rocking Hooters tights since 9th grade. As the story goes, I was eating spicy chicken wings at Hooters with my ex-boyfriend who was literally drooling over all the hottie Hooters girls.

To be real though, I was staring at their legs & ass too…because their bodies looked damnnnnn good. & guys, this is pre-Instagram filters, Spanx, & juice cleanses. So after full-on examining their outfits I realized they all were wearing nude tights.

NOW.

Let’s pretend for a moment we’re the CEOs of Hooters, mkkkay? What is one of the most important things of our business? I would say it’s how the girls look. And as business owners, we’re obviously going to find the most flattering outfits on the market.

An outfit that makes everyone look as hot as possible. That of course includes tights. And these tights need to hold the girls in because they’re practically wearing a bathing suit every day to work. These tights need to BE INCREDIBLE, RIGHT?

So as the CEOs of Hooters we are going to supply THE BEST OF THE BEST, most flattering tights. BECAUSE ultimately, guys come to Hooters to drool over the girls ( & in defense of all men, the chicken wings are bomb too ).

SO.

Back to me eating my wings many many many years ago… I had a SERIOUS light bulb moment: what are these tights that make these girls look SO amazing. AND THEN I REALIZED I HAD TO GET MY HANDS ON THOSE FUCKING TIGHTS.

LIKE I HAD TO.

I wanted my legs & ass to look like a Hooters girl.

9th grade GOALS, you know?

For the record, I didn’t actually want to like, wear a bathing suit to high school…but for Halloween, I certainly did.

To be real, when I was in 9th grade the theme was sort of the sluttier the better ( thank God the times have changed. But have they ?? )

Coincidentally, that year I was going to be a slutty sexy fairy. 9TH GRADE. Ok, guys – remember that.

So as you can see, getting my hands on these magical Hooters tights was VERY necessary.

My first plan of action was to ask the gorgeous waitress about where to purchase the tights…, who in all honestly, acted weird. It was almost as if she didn’t answer my question about the tights. She played dumb. So I asked another Hooters girl & I had the same reaction— a strange blank stare with a stutter. Basically these girls did NOT want to tell me where they found their compressing, flattering tights.

Now if you know me, which I feel like you guys do, you know I love to share tips, tricks, whatever with other women. And in 9th grade, I was the same way. I just wasn’t one of those girls who pretended like they forgot where their Guess jeans were from. Like, we all know you know where you bought your amazing shirt. Just tell us. If it’s Forever21, share PLEASE.

Really though, there’s enough Hooters tights for everyone, ladies!

Once I realized that these two waitresses were in fact NOT going to tell me where to find these magic nude tights, I made a plan. Because anyone who knows me well, knows that once I get an idea in my head, I will not stop until it’s finished.

So DUH, the next day I drove 35 minutes to another Hooters to get myself some tights for my sexy fairy costume. I really just could not get those Hooter tights out of my head. Does anyone blame me after coming to this revelation?

Thankfully, the girl at the front sold me a pair she had in the back.

YESSSSSS. She really was cool as shit. To this day I still remember her chill vibe.

Ok, so I got the tights, wore them to Halloween to a San Diego State ( OMG, frat boy city ) party, got tons of compliments on my legs & ass ( thanks Hooters! ), & felt tighter/leaner/etc. Imagine me fluttering around as a slutty fairy in my fabulous nude tights, so proud of my Hooters mission…memories, HA!

Unfortunately, I cannot make this shit up. All of the above really happened & to this day, I love Hooters tights if I’m doing a revealing Halloween costume. The ones pictured are without feet, but I also really love the ones with feet ( it just depends on what you’re wearing ). You do you.

Pretty much these tights HOLD IT IN. Like SPANX X 237239482 & they cost a measly $2.95.

& yes, I did research on how to find REAL Hooters tights for you guys.

Here’s the online description for these tights: “The “Original” Tamara Calendar Girl Pantyhose with feet  ( before Tamara Hosiery innovated the first footless Hooters Girl Pantyhose ) designed to create perfect looking legs. Sheer to waist, NO panty lines. Silky Smooth and soft. Very comfortable to wear. Designed with extra support. New run resistant stitching technology adds strength & durability, greatly reducing rips and tears. 40 denier, 14% spandex. The highest quality made pantyhose.”

The CEO of Hooters must have been a real genius, right?

What are you being for Halloween this year? If you have to show your legs & want a little coverage, Hooters tights is one of the best tips ever.

If you can’t find Hooters tights, these ones are similar & the reviews are 4.5 star.

Do you guys have any random, amazing, weird tips like this? Share the wealth, don’t be like the Hooters hoarders who wouldn’t share the tights. LOL.

x, lauryn

+ learn how to set up a Halloween candy bar here.

++  what is a cinnamon broom & why do you need one? 

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