The Skinny Confidential talks blogging behind the scenes.

Major Realness: Talking About ‘THE BLOGGER FACADE’

by
LAURYN

The Skinny Confidential talks blogging behind the scenes.

Let’s see shall we, where to begin?

You guys all know what ‘the blogger facade’ is.

If you don’t, let me explain ( P.S. this is my own definition ).

The blogger facade is an online persona created by bloggers that makes it seem like life is flawless & oh me oh my, I totally woke up to an egg white omelette with a sparkly bowl of organic berries &/or here I am at the airport in perfect, brand new $800 dollar shoes with a chic luggage not waiting in any lines &/or now here I am jet setting off to Hawaii to chill by the pool all day and take selfies & using the hashtag #vacalife.

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT? THEY HAVE TO? RIGHT?

If you’re unclear, head over to Instagram ( you know that one app? ) and creep around for ten minutes…the blogger facade game is strong on Insta. As we all know, there’s some reallllll smoke & mirrors going on on social media.

So here’s the thing: I’m not necessary being a bitch about the blog facade ( although sometimes it’s humorous to poke at yourself…I mean, I definitely have a couple jokes up my sleeve about #bloglife ). I simply just want to share some thoughts because sometimes smoke & mirrors can be a positive thing:

|| Major realness ||:

Life is stressful. Everyone has different stresses. To judge someone based on a small part of their life just isn’t fair. If you’re thinking: you put it out there! Your fault.

Yes. I get it.

But honestly, I don’t share everything on my blog. So to judge my full life when it’s not all out there doesn’t really make sense.

I’m very careful about my bedroom— my room doesn’t need to be posted all over the world wide web. I’m protective of my family & friends too. Their stories aren’t my stories to tell. Frankly, I didn’t create The Skinny Confidential to air my dirty laundry to everyone. It’s just not the style I’m going for.

The reason I created The Skinny Confidential is because I wanted a positive, girly, pretty outlet for women of all ages to read when they want to feel inspired, motivated, & confident. And let’s get real: if there were a bunch of ugly pictures & negative posts, it really wouldn’t really fit with the site’s aesthetic.

Ultimately I wanted to create a spot on the Internet to have pretty pictures, bright colors, & positive vibes. Although once in a while I’ll talk about a car accident ( I’m THE WORST DRIVER ) or how we just got snowed in & missed our flight from NYC ( that’s another story ), most of time my goal is to inspire YOU. So instead of looking at like “oh here’s a perfect life,” look at it like: “here’s a happy place/distraction.”

Again: this blog is not my entire life, it’s a part of it. And my goal is to make this part as pretty & appealing as possible.

Does that make sense?

The Skinny Confidential talks blogging behind the scenes.

|| A little reality check ||:

I don’t think I’ve ever shared the full story on this BUT when I was developing the idea of TSC I was in college ( bored & uninspired ), driving thirty minutes to school, teaching Pilates/Pure Barre in between classes, working on blog-doo, & bartending at night.

Building the brand the way I envisioned it was difficult when I was managing three jobs and school and life. Difficult, but not impossible.

I was a bartender half time while writing this blog. In fact, I was a bartender & cocktail server for five years total, while trying to figure out my passions. It was never mentioned in my posts because it wasn’t relevant. But again, another reminder that you don’t always know what’s going on behind the scenes.

A typical day was coming home at midnight, working on my blog, waking up, teaching, going to school ( constantly exhausted ), shooting for the blog, editing, bartending for 7 to 8 hours. Rinse & REPEAT. For years.

Also, I should mention I started writing The Skinny Confidential Book while in the second year of bartending. So my plate was real fucking full. I’m not complaining because that was certainly the foundation that’s helped me grow as a person but I’m just PULLING THE CURTAIN OFF THE WIZARD OF OZ.

One of my favorite quotes:

The Skinny Confidential talks blogging behind the scenes.

|| Life ( at least my life ) is FAR from perfect ||:

Haha. This literally makes me laugh. I have faced major adversity. I have felt depressed. I have shitty days where I cry/scream/freak. And I’ve experienced break-ups, divorce, death— just like everyone else. TSC is just not the spot to share every single bump in my story.

I’m going to take a wild guess & say a lot bloggers are just like me.

There’s things they don’t share & things you don’t see & things you don’t know, so maybe don’t always automatically assume that their lives are perfect.

On that note, maybe some of their lives are perfect…but how fucking boring does that sound? Like, YAWN. I need some shit in life once in a while to appreciate its beauty.

So next time you see a flawless Instagram of perfect pancakes on a gorgeous plate with fresh squeezed OJ, think: damn, those amazing looking pancakes took some effort to make…and maybe they’re cold because the shot took so long to take…and maybe, just maybe there’s a very, very hungry boyfriend ( << HI MICHAEL!!!! ) behind the shot, telling the blogger to “hurry up and take the damn picture” because he’s going to die of hypoglycemia. #nofilter

Because that’s real life for ya.

If a picture says a 1000 words, then real life says 9802748592734859720349857 words.

The Skinny Confidential talks blogging behind the scenes.

{ sweater | black jeans | sunglasses | clutch | ear cuff }

Ok so, I know a lot of you are bloggers. What’s your stance? What do you think about pulling the curtain off ‘The Wizard of Oz’ to reveal a tiny man who’s created a bigger than life facade? LOL.

Also, I want to take this opportunity to look at YOUR blog. If you’re a blogger, leave your blog’s URL below so I can check ’em all out. Sounds like a fun, lil Sunday Funday reading sesh to me.

Lauryn xx

+ For another BTS post, check out this post on “The Truth About Blogging.”

Pics: Teresa Fae

The Skinny Confidential talks blogging behind the scenes.

The Skinny Confidential talks blogging behind the scenes.

|| Shop My Outfit ||

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  1. Laura Rush

    THANK YOU for posting this! I’m fairly new to the blogging thing and I have to force myself to remember that the ‘blogger facade’ is a thing. Otherwise I start to get discouraged and ask why I’m doing this. Then I remember that I love writing my blog no mater who reads it. And that is all that matters.

    You rock!!! Thank you for the inspiration!

    Laura
    http://www.surfandhydrangeas.com
    Laura Rush recently posted..“What’s This? There’s White Things in the Air”My Profile

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  2. Meg Sundstrom

    No one’s life if perfect but the positivity and realness that you radiate is so uplifting and inspiring. I think you hit the nail on the head! Xx, Meg

    Reply
  3. Fiorella

    Thank you for sharing. I’m new at this whole blogging world and I sometimes get discouraged because I’m not as “perfect” as the other bloggers. But you’re right. No one gets to see the “behind the scenes” of people’s lives or what it took to get to where they are. This post just motivates me to keep on going and reassures me that we’re all in our journey and pace! 🙂 Thank you Lauryn! My blog: http://www.metanoialiving.com
    Fiorella recently posted..Oprah’s Favorite Things 2014My Profile

    Reply
    1. Lauryn Post author

      Don’t be discouraged! Keep going!! NO one is perfect : ). Will def check out your site, babe. x

  4. Mia

    LOVE your BLOG, everyday, every Post. and I love that you sometimes include how much stress you have and so on, that makes you real.. Love reading your blog. Maybe you wanna check out my NEW travel blog. SO not much to offer right now 10 post or something. But you might like it, or not.. What ever 🙂 Have a nice weekend!

    worldsessed.com

    Reply
  5. Lovisa T

    Great post, I totally agree. On my blog I mostly post the bright sides of my life. I do add hints of the “not so flashy moments” but those are mostly in words, rarely ever pictures because I want bright, light and inspiring pictures on my blog (kinda difficult though this time of the year in Sweden since it’s pretty dark…).
    Lovisa T recently posted..VITAMINSMy Profile

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  6. Wendy Watson

    I can so relate this post! Espp. the part about the pancakes because it’s so freakin true. I’m pretty new to the blogging world and not gonna lie it can be tough! People are super critical//judgmental. The truth is blogging isn’t easy and I’m always reminding myself that my blog is my own personal “work of art” and that I do it to express myself and help//inspire others. Because at the end of the day it’s really not about how perfect everything looks or the number of followers or monetization etc. It’s about passion and creativity! I think sooo many bloggers feel this way. Btww I bought your book a couple days ago and I’m dyyyiiinnnggg to get it in the mail.

    Love. Wendy
    MY BLOG: http://CollegeCheese.com

    Reply
  7. Ashlee

    Much like the lovely ladies above, I too am new to the blogging scene and have had days when I get discouraged and wonder what the heck I’m doing when I get on IG and see so many bloggers jet setting to beautiful places or posting amazing pictures of their lunch. But then I take a moment and look at the vision board I created and remember that one day I’ll be in that place too 🙂
    Your posts definitely inspire, so keep doing what you do! And thanks for reminding us newbies that no one is perfect! It’s hard to not get caught up in the smoke and mirrors of insta and twitter!
    Xo
    Ashlee recently posted..New BeginningsMy Profile

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  8. MacKenzie

    Thank you so much for this post.
    I’ve also been trying to get my blog going, and at times I feel I’m flailing. I see other “perfect” bloggers and think, geez, this is so far off. But thanks for demystifying it. And it shows the hard work will pay off eventually.
    MacKenzie recently posted..Parseltongue DressingMy Profile

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  9. Jenae (@yogaeatrun)

    Thank you soooo much for writing this!! It helps remind me that my fellow bloggers who make it look flawless and effortless are actually putting in as much blood sweat and tears as I am! I try not to put up the facade as much as possible with my audience but I know what you mean, success sells, not failure! So I try my best to keep a balance. Please checkout my site and tell me what you think! Thanks girl! – YogaEatRun.com
    Jenae (@yogaeatrun) recently posted..For The First Time Ever, I’m FatMy Profile

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  10. Teffy @ Teffy's Perks

    What an awesome post!! I feel the exact same way with my blog! I so want to keep it a place for positivity and happiness that the dark side might sometimes stay hidden!
    I currently work full time as a barista, so most of the cooking and recipe developing happens on the days off or in funny hours, like cooking vegan mac n cheese pasta at 7am or getting up at 6 am and trying to quickly squeeze in a photoshoot before a 10 hour shift!
    What I’ve decided is that my social media outlets (such as twitter and Instagram) will be more upfront about struggles and personal stuff, while the blog will still maintain it’s positivity but with a bit more reality and rawness to it!!

    {Teffy’s Perks} X
    Teffy @ Teffy’s Perks recently posted..Goji + Walnut Breakfast Cookies (Gluten Free + Vegan)My Profile

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  11. M!

    Thank you!!! This post was absolutely flawless!! I’ve been dealing with huge amounts of stress lately. Specially around the fact that I would never be blogger material, no matter how hard I try. Even my face came out in a rash yesterday! Thank you for showing us the real #unfiltered blogger life..

    🙂

    Reply
  12. Colleen Welsch

    Amen sister! I sometimes feel bad that my life can be so stressful and messy compared to other bloggers. It’s easy to forget that they’re just putting out their best possible image….which is honestly what I’m doing on my blog too. I don’t write much about my struggles, though I have them like everyone else. Blogging is supposed to be a positive environment, and blogs are an escape from reality! No one wants to read about how miserable people are.

    My blog is COOCOO FOR COCO check it out!
    Colleen Welsch recently posted..MY CURRENT HAIR & SKIN ROUTINEMy Profile

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  13. Mary

    Yep- we have three people writing for us. I have also (for whatever reason) experienced a lack of support from some (what i thought) cool ass girl friends. It’s a weird world.

    xo ya’ll
    Mary recently posted..Why do people kiss?My Profile

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  14. Courtney Bentley

    OMG so true, that was the one thing that kept me from blogging so often plus many people do not realize how brutal it is to run a blog, many brands what you to do everything for free product which at the end of the day is fabulous but doesn’t pay the bills. If you have a shit day you have to find that perfect angle and write away it can be daunting but at the end of the day all of the amazing opportunities I have come upon have been due to my blog and its so worth it! All my love to you Lauren you are a true inspiration to me! xo C
    Courtney Bentley recently posted..Natural Energy BoostersMy Profile

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  15. Jessica

    I have so much respect for this post. I feel the same – I don’t use my blog to air my dirty laundry. I do write posts that let my readers know that I am human, too, and that I don’t always eat perfectly/do the most kick ass workouts every day. They let me know that they really appreciate that!

    Happy weekend, lovely!
    xo, Jess
    http://glistenfit.com
    Jessica recently posted..HIIT FUSION WORKOUT #7My Profile

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  16. Jade

    I totally agree! I think trolls make it hard for bloggers to drop the façade sometimes though. I’m not a blogger, but I can imagine I’d be desperate to get the perfect shot and text in each post, to avoid comments like ‘eww, that dish looks and sounds so nasty’, etc.
    I much prefer ‘real’ bloggers, especially those that actually have an opinion and don’t sugarcoat anything. All this ‘oh, this is just my experience, it might not be your thing, but I just kinda think that this worked for me, but it might be bullshit, ummm, yeah, not sure…’ is so annoying. However, if a blogger has a strong/clear opinion, again the trolls come out in force to tell the blogger how wrong/heinous/condemnable they are… It seems you just can’t win! :p
    Yours in one of the most real blogs out there, Lauryn. I love your writing style! 😀

    Reply
  17. kerri

    You hit the nail on the head sister. I don’t air all of my dirty laundry on my blog – but sometimes, a girl just has to get it out. BUT that’s due to the fact my blog is about my life – the travel, the good stuff, the random stuff and very rarely, the crappy stuff. Everyone has their own vibe they are going for – it’s just a matter of sticking to it. Thanks for being one of my fav bloggers to follow on the reg. Oh and happy Friday 🙂 xo

    cheshirekatblog.com

    Reply
  18. Hilary

    So happy to read that post. Everything looks perfect on social media but it’s just not. I was just on vacation and took a photo of my bf and I kissing in the sunset “everything is perfect”… But actually I added that behind the scenes my bags hadn’t turned up and I was a freaking out, crying lunatic! I’ve actually just started a new blog because my original one was actually causing me too much stress! I started a new one that I haven’t really launched yet. It brings me back to realizing that I just like playing around with photos and making things look neat and clean! Sharing travel pics and suggestions instead of everything having to be about health. I think the design tweaks are what I like doing most!

    Thanks for writing that!

    Hilary x thehilside.com
    Hilary recently posted..Argan Oil – Liquid GoldMy Profile

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  19. Jamie Lee B

    LOVE this post. I think it’s so important that people realize all these things. Why would I want the shitty parts of my life forever engraved on the Internet?
    Jamie Lee B recently posted..Finals WeekMy Profile

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  20. Vivian

    Amazing how you found time to balance, school, work, this blog, and a social life!!! Props to you girl. I still struggle with this! I’m a Pre-PT major and trying to graduate a year early to save $$. The workload is tough but manageable, but any tips to stay motivated? I only seem to be able to post during my breaks from college even though I would love to post so much more 🙁
    Vivian recently posted..Cheat Day Review: Dough Doughnuts Review & Doughnut Flavor RatingsMy Profile

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  21. Alice A.

    I love this so much – it’s so true. I sometimes forget and really bogged down seeing other people’s seemingly “perfect” lives. And then I panic over all the stuff in my life that I still need to get in order! So I’m super glad to hear you say that you’re on the same page 🙂 the blog world is such a funny thing isn’t it?

    Also loved the note about the cold pancakes and the hungry bf…literally that is my life. I loled. ❤️

    My blog: http://www.livefitlovechocolate.com
    Alice A. recently posted..Almond Butter Oatmeal Monster CookiesMy Profile

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  22. Bea

    Your blog is all the more inspiring because it comes from a real person who has been through their fair share of struggles. You encourage others to step up and take control of their lives in a way that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. Can I ask you how you dealt with stress in your life when you had that much on your plate?

    Reply
  23. Anca

    I am a photographer not a blogger and I know what’s behind the ”perfect images”. I love your blog for your honesty. And the tips I learn (like the Magnesium vitamin ). Keep doing the great job, I will be following!

    Reply
  24. tsc reader

    Lauryn, you’re awesome human being.
    Reading about all of the adversaries that you’ve overcome and the work you put into your brand IS very much inspiring. Keep doing what you’re doing because it’s definitely working and thank you for sharing your awesomeness : ]

    Reply
  25. Emily N.

    Definitely relate to this post, like so many others who have commented. Blogging looks effortless and pretty, but it’s supposed to look that way. LOOK being the key word. We all have struggles and maybe we should use that fact to unite us and feel positive, instead of lesser or not good enough…even if people don’t share it or we don’t know the specific details.

    Reply
  26. Cynthia

    Love it! I try to keep it real and I love that you only want to talk about positive stuff! You and a few other lifestyle bloggers were the reason I got into Blogging! I loved your blog’s vibe because I was always happy/informed when I left! I aspire to be more like that!

    Cynthia
    http://www.sensiblysharp.com
    Cynthia recently posted..Stripes + DotsMy Profile

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  27. Danielle

    Woo breaking the glass on the blogger facade! I love it, after reading a crap ton of blogs and Facebook, everything you see online/social media isn’t always real. It’s crazy how much crap is on social media in terms of blogging, it makes others who are just starting in the blogging universe feel like they are crap and will never get as big as they are.

    Sheez it’s tiring and motivation draining!

    Thanks Lauryn!! <3
    Danielle recently posted..Under Construction: 2015 StyleMy Profile

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  28. Darcey

    love this! I’ve been full time blogging for almost 5 years and it’s hard work! Still! People think it’s sunshine and roses because I can schedule time off whenever I want. There is more to life…readers don’t know my son Liam was stillborn in June. They still want posts when I want to hide in bed all day. But the upside is we were able to get back to San Diego (born and raised).

    My 5 year old blog is http://thedealyo.com but I started http://www.Mrs.fitness last month as a healthy outlet for my grief.

    Reply
  29. Chantelly Jean

    This is too good! It’s so true and I hope a lot of girls are able to see this truth. I just started my own, mainly as a way to keep my stress away and to make sure I keep doing things that I love because life gets so dang busy. Sometimes I do think about the ones that get to travel all of the time and not work a 9-5 and get frustrated. But Then I remind myself that most things on social media aren’t the real deal. Thank you for being so real all of the time. Many reasons why you’re the number one blogger for so many of us to look up to!

    Reply
  30. Ali

    This is such an interesting post! I love how pretty all the pictures you post are. You have such a great eye for this. I have a small blog, so I don’t feel the pressure to keep up an only positive image. I will post some negative things if it only affects me (I’m not going to post about a friend’s fight with a boyfriend, for example). My life is generally pretty good and I’m a happy person, so the balance is swayed in a more positive direction naturally 🙂

    Reply
  31. Meghan

    Love this post and love your blog! I am dying to start a blog of my own but haven’t totally decided the direction I want to take yet. I work as an attorney by day – and it is effing miserable. However, being 28, a newlywed and heavy student loan debt require me to continue a job I dislike. I want my blog to be fun and inspirational, not an outlet where I complain about my actual job. Kudos to you to putting this out there.

    Reply
    1. Lauryn Post author

      Just go for it! I’m sure it will be awesome. I’m already interested just reading this paragraph. Good luck, Meghan!

  32. Alexa Hampton

    Thanks for sharing this!! I’m also new to the blogging world, and absolutely loving it, but it’s definitely easy to think, “I’ll never be as good as they are — my life isn’t nearly that perfect!” It’s good to remember that their life probably isn’t perfect either, but like you said, where’s the fun in never having to hustle?
    Alexa Hampton recently posted..How to Lose a Guy in 10 TextsMy Profile

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  33. 204 Park

    Oh my gosh I could relate to this post in 8 million and one ways! lol
    You have been a huge inspiration to myself, Kali and Sarah in starting our blog, we love that you keep it real but also love that your site is a pretty place to disappear and escape the world 🙂 That’s exactly what we want our site to be too. The pancakes getting cold example is one that made me legit LOL – our three guys say they’re going to create a site called “the real 204 Park” that shows what really goes on behind the scenes lol! We’d love if you checked us out, you’re our fave!! xoxo Diana
    http://www.204park.com

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  34. Angela

    Thanks, you always seem to give me a kick in the butt when I need it most. I blog for fun but sometimes I find I get all caught up in what everyone else is doing and doing better than me. I blog for me and I don’t want to paint a prettier picture cause that is not who I am. Thanks for the reminder, great post!
    http://palsywalsyblog.blogspot.ca/

    Reply
  35. Lita

    My friends and I started a blog, hearsayandhappiness.com, last August. We’d love if you would check it out (and feel free to share your feedback :). Our blog is a little bit more real life based, and we try to take the veil off to a certain degree, but I also think that readers kind of need to buy into the fantasy of the perfect life- otherwise, why would they want to read the blog when they could just look at their own lives, etc. But I do think there is a happy medium in there somewhere that doesn’t set the bar too high for real people but still inspires… Great post!

    Reply
  36. Payton Sartain

    Absolutely love how realistic this outlook on blogging is! I’m a pretty new blogger, so I’ve seen so many pictures from the more experienced, more popular bloggers out there, and I always get discouraged… like, how are they so perfect and ethereal at. all. times. Its good to remember that they are just weird peeps taking pictures of their meals in public… just like me. HA.
    Payton Sartain recently posted..Weekend in San Francisco: My Fav San Fran Spots & College Fashion WeekMy Profile

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  37. KatiAnne

    Thank you so much for posting this! I just started blogging this year as a way to really try and organize myself and hold myself accountable for projects and goals. That being said I really strive to show that I am not living some extravagant life. Yes we do things that are fun and exciting, but I have a full time job and live on a budget.

    I love reading your blog and really find it a place to come to and be inspired and just escape from the daily grind every once and awhile.

    Thank you again!

    Reply
  38. Ashley @ A Lady Goes West

    Hi Lauryn, As you know, I’m a frequent reader and commenter here on TSC. What I love about your blog is that you keep it real, but you keep it relevant. You’ve never gotten in to family stuff much, and that’s not really what I come here to read.

    My blog is still growing (isn’t everyone’s??) but I keep some real life stuff completely off limits. I don’t talk about days that I don’t feel well, or gripe about lost sleep, because I don’t think that’s why people read my blog. I’ve got some great loyal readers who are really engaged, and I know they like me to “keep it light,” so I do. If I ever feel differently, then I’ll change the tone.

    My blog, A Lady Goes West: http://aladygoeswest.com/ is about my adventures in fitness, food and fun living in San Francisco. I started it when I moved here from Florida.

    Thanks for the offer to come say hi on my little part of the WWW. 🙂 Oh and by the way, keep on keepin’ on. If somebody is hating on you, then you’re doing something right.
    Ashley @ A Lady Goes West recently posted..Friday Favorites: Flowers, music and moreMy Profile

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  39. Lauren Shaber

    Thank you for sharing, Lauryn! I always thought that was true — the perfection of Insta/blogging…. until I started doing it on the backend. I really don’t think that people understand sometimes. For example, yesterday, I spent about 2 hours working on a post. That’s a long time! A lot of people probably think it’s just take a picture, put it up and write something about it and you’re done. SO much more than that! You’re right — behind every blogger is some crazy time, someone yelling at you to hurry up and/or us being picky/paranoid about what to post.

    Another thing about that facade… I think that more and more people nowadays are seeing bloggers as a way to make easy money and that’s not the case as much, I’ve noticed. Yes that’s part of it, but it’s not ALL of it. Like many, you and your story proves this. THANK YOU for posting this and sharing your behind the scenes. It makes us on the other side feel like we can relate to you (for me at least!).

    xo Lauren
    http://www.laurenliveshealthy.com
    Lauren Shaber recently posted..The Bay Area’s Best Juice ShopsMy Profile

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  40. Brittany

    I love this and I love you even more for this. So, I emailed you asking you some questions about your blog actually and your email was super sweet but just so other people can see my “story”…

    My first blog was in 2010, http://www.brittoonin.com, (deleted it for obvious reasons…the name sucked), 2011 second blog was/is http://www.sheerspirit.com, (still not crazy about the name), so I’m currently in the process of transferring to http://www.notanotherblonde.com. BOOM. Money. Stay tuned!

    Thanks for this…I’m hustlin’ myself right now trying to get this going so it’s nice to see you started the same way. <3

    Reply
  41. Alli

    I take blogs at face value! They are pretty places to make life a little sweeter! I love all your posts. You inspire me.

    Reply
  42. Liz & Sara

    This could not be more true!! The food is almost ALWAYS cold before you get to eat it. And yes, impatient boyfriends everywhere lol… Little things like this people don’t even know!

    Thank you for writing this. We’ve told a handful of personal stories on our blog (www.supersisterfitness.com) and it has really helped people connect and form a deeper relationship with us. They become “lifers” after reading our stories, if that makes sense. I would love to see more of them on your blog too!

    Your writing style is hilarious, so it would be awesome to get a breakdown of “hard life stuff” coming from your voice. You could help a lot of people! This was a great post. Sorry you missed your flight (good luck).

    Liz + Sara xx
    (the super sisters)
    🙂

    Reply
  43. Bridget

    this post made me want to start blogging again!! (fourth attempt) I would always get so discouraged because I felt like I had nothing to offer to the world when princess peach over here and smarty sally over there had the $800 dollar shoes in the park inbetween “meetings” and I was struggling to buy a sweater from h&m because I was putting money into my blog and paying for law school at the same time – humphhhh but I digress.

    so thank you for reminding me it is ok to NOT have my shit together (and maybe pretend I do? fake it till ya make it 😉

    you’re the best!
    xx B

    Reply
  44. Holly

    Lauryn, I definitely agree! It’s so refreshing to hear that you built The Skinny Confidential while working and in school. I’m a student and I’m just starting my blog and it can get discouraging looking at my favorite sites, which seem so perfect. All the while I’m thinking, “When the hell am I going to have the time to write another post because I have 3 papers to write!” Very inspiring to see how far you’ve come and how you made it work.
    http://theblondechiffon.com
    Holly recently posted..Favorite Finds: Holiday RecipesMy Profile

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  45. Presley Baker

    Oh my gosh, I’m literally laughing SO HARD right now I have to go wipe my tears off my face. This is 100% so real and raw and amazing. My boyfriend can definitely relate to the “enough pictures I’m so freaking hungry Presley”. Just last night I was tryinf to get a picture of us decorating the Christmas tree and… it was exhausting haha. A couple days ago I wrote a similar post about being raw and real and perfect is freaking boring and I think you’d enjoy it, maybe! I’d love for you to check it out love. I love your posts, very inspiring!

    Reply
  46. emily

    Wow great post Lauryn! Where to start, where to start… First, I have loved your blog for a long time because you seem so real and not stuffy (like some of those bloggers out there!). I very rarely comment on posts, but this one really spoke to me. Like, when have I NOT felt down or depressed when I see a blogger (Valentino in toe) jetting off to Paris lol! For me it also runs deep cuz I have my blog and I haven’t updated it in a year (gasp!), and ya know what I really loved blogging and had high hopes for it. I had a lot of negative feedback about it, and for some reason I just let it break me down. I lost focus (actually started to feel stupid that I thought I could even have a blog) and lost me. I actually look at Blog-Doo ALL the time contemplating how I can get back in the game and start over. I’ve had lot of shit go down the past year, mostly good but a lot of stressful stuff… Moved twice, remodeled a house, got pregnant, lost my job and finally had the bambino. Anyways, it’s just nice to hear someone actually call it like it is on all this blog stuff… Good little reality check.

    xo
    emily

    http://www.thehauteandhealthy.com
    emily recently posted..MatchaMy Profile

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  47. Kerah

    Great post!! I love your blog and it is so inspiring. Its the first website I check when I have a break at work and its always a much needed message to live happy and healthy. I’ve been reading for probably a year now and I can say that it has really helped me lead a better balanced life. Thank you!!

    Reply
  48. Rachel

    Lauryn,

    You have inspired us so much from the creation of our blog to “writing like we talk” to (attempting) to take beautiful pictures. Thanks for keeping it real. Because really, if you don’t, what’s the point?! Check out our blog when you can ! http://www.blondeseatclean.com

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  49. noel

    Absolutely freaking love this!! Your blog has been so inspiring to me as I’ve found my own way this past year. I’ve read about bloggers basically “shaming” those who “portray their lives as perfect” and I’m like “but who wants to see pictures of sloppy homes and hear about depressing things?!” If it’s a thought or scene that isn’t serving you, it probably isn’t going to serve anyone else, either.

    Keep on inspiring, sister!

    And let me know what you think if you get a chance to visit http://www.thirddayhair.com 🙂
    noel recently posted..Earn Money to Spend Money?My Profile

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  50. Jess @UsedYorkCity

    Totes agree…there are definitely blogs and sites used for venting/sharing not-so-pretty-tales, but if the goal of your blog is to keep things inspirational and a place to go for a fun distraction from the every day bustle, it’s best kept that way, cause that’s what your readers really want to see. Promise:-)

    Always love popping over to your site, keep up the gorgeous work!
    Jess @UsedYorkCity recently posted..New Yorker MomentsMy Profile

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  51. Alexandra

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time! My best friend and I were just discussing the blogger facade. It’s hard when you feel like you need to compete with the so-called perfect lives, but I highly agree with your words – I don’t share everything with my readers, death, sadness, etc. I reserve for my personal self and not to air on my blog or social media outlets. Thanks for this, much needed!

    Reply
  52. Andrea Bai

    I love that you wrote this post. I was thinking of writing a post similar to this. Life is so NOT what it looks on social media or blogs, but it’s so easy to look on Instagram and wonder “how the heck does she have the most balanced beautiful life?” Good job gorgeous!

    http://www.glamhungrymom.com

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  53. Heidi @ A Fashion Statement Style Blog

    Hey Lauryn!

    Aww…I remember the days of your bartending and teaching barre. I first want to say that – I think we all (readers) appreciate how much work you have put into where you are now and for someone who read at the beginning, I am proud to know your blog and see the progress.

    I have a little different perspective about the blog facade. I feel that social media is snapshots of our lives and the great things in them. I’ve personally worked REALLY hard (like you) to get where I am today and I don’t like when readers/haters/anyone else makes me feel bad for having 99% of the time, a perfect life. I worked hard for it and I know where I came from, so I feel that (we) deserve to enjoy it regardless of how others feel or perceive it.

    Sure, I run late sometimes and my hair frizzes in the rain but I really appreciate the fact that I don’t have major problems. I don’t think it’s boring, I think it’s well earned. 🙂

    The blog: http://www.AFashionState.com
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  54. Carly

    What a great (and necessary) post. I always catch myself struggling with the perfect lives of the fabulous ladies I see via blogs/insta/pinterest/whatevs….
    You’re absolutely right that in order to keep a positive vibe on the blog, you need to keep your photos, posts, etc. positive. So while life may not be perfect, it seems that way through the posts.

    Thanks for this great reminder.

    http://www.playingforeats.com | Carly
    Carly recently posted..Go-To Breakfast SandwichMy Profile

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  55. Inessa G

    OMG > I was just having the same conversation with a friend about how bloggers have it easy jetsetting all over the world in free clothes; and how it’s so hard for me to find time to post on *** http://www.thelovelyrush.com *** when I work a twelve hour a day desk job. But you’re so right – you never know what’s behind the facade. And I think a lot of bloggers give up the security of the 9-to-5 which in itself must be stressful. Thanks for the post!
    Inessa G recently posted..When your statement piece is redMy Profile

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  56. Jenn

    Thanks for writing this, even though I’m a bit late to the party. I have a new blog I’m launching and a couple of other really successful ones, and I constantly find that bloggers get picked apart for either putting up the facade, which I consider more ‘branding’ than anything, or letting too much of their life hang out online. It’s a catch 22 and you have to just do you and not worry what people think. It’s your story to tell anyway.
    Jenn recently posted..5 Tips To Score Your Next Thrift Store HaulMy Profile

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  57. karen

    Nice post Lauryn, I totally agree with keeping blogs positive, I mean, blogging should be about sharing and learning new things, not really about the day to day stuff anyways. I like reading blogs that I can learn from, blogs that inspire me and blogs by people who I truly like. I don’t care much for people who seem fake, or act fake, there’s too little time for that in this little world.
    karen recently posted..marinated baked white kidney beansMy Profile

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  58. Arina

    “Their stories aren’t my stories to tell”

    This is part of why I love your blog. I’m often somewhat horrified when people share so much of their personal lives, and the lives of those around them. Do their friends know how much is going online? I don’t post photos of my family without permission, I don’t discuss disagreements, and I rarely use real names.

    I enjoy reading positive blogs! I don’t find it fake — I just feel that people want to dwell on happy things. I did a post about my cat being ill (he is much better now!), but for the most part, I only want to remember the happy parts of my life. and that is what I write about.

    Ultimately, I believe that everyone’s life has its difficulties, and airing dirty laundry online will not make your life better.
    Arina recently posted..L’Oréal True Match ConcealerMy Profile

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    1. Shannon

      Agree 10000%. I am shocked by how personal some people get on FACEBOOK alone. Dirty Laundry should never be aired — unless that is THE POINT of the blog/website, and even then, I don’t necessarily agree with it, but that is just my opinion.

      With all the negativity in the world it is sooooo refreshing to have a positive place to go.

      So glad to hear your cat is better!!

  59. Arina

    “Their stories aren’t my stories to tell” — this is one reason why I love your blog!

    I often feel that the same bloggers that talk about how “real” they are tend to be the same bloggers that air tons of dirty laundry that involves other people who probably don’t know that what they consider private is being shared with the world. We all have disagreements and petty spats, but they don’t need to be shared.

    I know that everyone has their up days and down days — everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed every now and then! However, I love blogs that focus mostly on the positive — sure, i posted about my cat being ill, but for the most part, I write about things I like. I don’t feel that being positive is fake — I think it is giving people the gift of escape! I have close friends in real life that I can talk to if I’m having a rough time. The internet is not a place for me to rant or say things in the heat of the moment, because the internet is forever, whereas my frustration is temporary.
    Arina recently posted..L’Oréal True Match ConcealerMy Profile

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  60. Mary

    This is so true. I know I am so guilty of looking at full-time bloggers or just ladies in general and being so jealous of the life they appear to lead on social media. Thank you for being honesty and open! Doesn’t make me any less jealous of your life :), but I know you worked really hard to get where you are! Shit doesn’t come easy.

    I’d love for you to check out my blog, goldlayercake.com.

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  61. Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties

    love all of this!! Awhile back someone did a post about “what was really going on behind my instagram pictures” and she posted a bunch of recent instagrams and then explained what had really happened before it. I ended up doing one too and I LOVED IT. It’s like, “hey, you might think this picture of my bf and I on a road trip looked cool but truth is we were in the middle of a big fight and barely talked to eachother for 6 hours over something crazy stupid” haha! I just loved showing people that things are not as perfect as they seem. But you’re right- I’d (usually) rather post happy things because no one’s gonna come to a blog or instagram feed that’s depressing!
    Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties recently posted..How to wash your hair lessMy Profile

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  62. Nicola

    I go through so many phases with my blog – love hearing that other people have the same problems.

    Also, I love IG because I make a conscious effort to follow ‘real people’ but then I forget when I’m writing my blog that, in fact, I love real people more than I love those with a facade!

    Thank you for reminding me, Lauryn! xx

    Reply
  63. Nicola

    I go through so many phases with my blog – love hearing that other people have the same problems.

    Also, I love IG because I make a conscious effort to follow ‘real people’ but then I forget when I’m writing my blog that, in fact, I love real people more than I love those with a facade!

    Thank you for reminding me, Lauryn! xx
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  64. ARIN

    HEY LAUREN!
    YOUR BLOG HAS BEEN A HUGE INSPIRATION TO ME AND I LOVE HOW REAL YOU ARE ABOUT THINGS.. I THINK A BIT OF YOUR WRITING STYLE HAS INFLUENCED MY OWN. ANYWAYS, MY BLOG HAS BEEN ALL ABOUT TRAVEL + LIFE IN GENERAL 🙂
    ARIN recently posted..Looking Back, Moving ForwardMy Profile

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  65. Shannon

    Lauryn, one thing that has gotten me to be a damn loyal follower with you (I discovered you in 2012 from browsing insta-G), was your realness. TSC IS a positive place to inspire + motivate. However, you added your “voice” which is such an intangible but made you YOU. Of course everything looks perfect, and pretty, and “oh me oh my” (<– LOL loved this!) but what people do not see is how f*cking hard you worked your @$$ off for that perfection. I think you hit the nail on the head with these sentences: " if there were a bunch of ugly pictures & negative posts, it really wouldn’t really fit with the site’s aesthetic. . . . So instead of looking at like “oh here’s a perfect life,” look at it like: “here’s a happy place/distraction.”" I honestly feel the harder people work and the more they succeed, the more people want to point fingers on the "perfection". Hell, look at Kendall Jenner. She works so so so hard, yet people still think everything was just handed to her.

    If I am going to be totally real, seeing how hard you've worked (hi, I was in the wine + bartending industry for YEARS — it is NOT easy. There was a period where the only time I had in my life for my boyfriend at the time was between 2am – 4am in between class/work/studying for somm classes/etc. NOT to mention those jobs are not office jobs – instead, super demanding on your body and on your feet for 12+ hours a day) makes you SO inspiring to me. Seeing TSC grow as much as it has from 2012 to 2015 has been incredible, but it was not built on "luck", or a "perfect life", but rather the hard as hell hustle + work. I do admit, I love hearing the posts on "life while building TSC" selfishly while I am in those pre-lim steps. BUT I think it is quite apparent how hard you worked to build TSC.

    FWIW — I view TSC as my virtual happy place to go and just browse: I may have been yelled at by my boss; I may be annoyed at my boyfriend; or I may just be lazy in bed, trying to convince myself to skip a workout (yeah, try skipping after reading your posts – impossible!) but all that being said, YOU have made TSC a happy + motivating + inspiring place. Who knows, maybe the real + raw can be in your autobiography (which I promise would be a best seller), but I LOVE what you did with TSC being such a positive place for women, everywhere.

    As always, thank you so much for spreading your realness. Not to sound creepy, but you have been a major motivation ever since I decided to start my own brand. Your blog is fantastic, but also just one of the many layers of YOU and your business. This is a post I will keep bookmarked as I build my blog (almost there financially — still 100% using BD but am still saving bc the holidays killed me) because it is the raw realness I needed to hear because I know they are issues that I will face as a new blogger, and feeling like I am not at that level of perfection.

    Sorry for the long comment, but it is all true and THANK you for constantly empowering women all over the globe. I am so happy I was bored in bed on instagram just finding some fitness motivation so I didn't skip my work-out back in 2012. 🙂

    Reply
  66. Marisa

    Love this post…so real…so true and my favorite part about needing shit to happen in life in order to appreciate the beauty! Well said 🙂

    Reply
  67. Mallorie Mae

    This is so true. I find that I have a hard time writing some of my posts because I feel obligated to be bright and perky all the time and to tell the truth, If you know me at all, I’m not bright and perky. I’m sarcastic and a little cynical. I feel fake in a lot of my writing and am having a hard time balancing out between the bright and perky and the real me. I want to be genuine but I also want people to read and I worry my personality may be off putting to my average reader, they might to get my humor.
    http://Www.eatrealhealthyfood.com
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  68. megan

    This post is AMAZING! We laugh all the time when we are doing instagram shots that we should have our instagram pictures and then the REAL picture of what it took the make that shot. Its fighting light, yelling, standing on unstable objects. So true. But we wouldn’t change it cause its a blast!
    Thanks for this write up!

    Check us out: http://www.establishedcalifornia.com

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  69. Liz

    Thanks for posting this! It really is nice to see a blogger being real. After a while you begin to forget that these seemingly perfect people are really just people who happen to edit their lives and pictures really well 😉

    My blog is very fresh but I’d love your opinion!
    http://www.tastylittledish.com

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  70. Jamie

    This is all very true!! I am fairly new to blogging and sometimes seeing how much farther along and perfect other bloggers seem can be frustrating. There is a lot of unseen work that goes into blogging and having an online business that people don’t realize. I love all of your work, your blog and book are amazing, as well as your honestly! All your posts are so relatable which is why I love it! Always look forward to reading your posts!

    My blog is jamielynnshaw.com – would love for you to check it out!

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  71. Deepa

    LOVE this post! I agree with you that blogs & insta pics should be looked at as a source of inspiration, I mean yours is one of my favs and absolutely the reason why I come here. But I also think you are honest about your life being far from perfect and a lot of people want to perpetuate the myth that life is all sunshine and rainbows. However you should be the last person getting criticism for that, you are real and we all appreciate that. Keep it up, you are a total insp!!!
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  72. Chantel Emma

    Thank you so much for this! It is sometimes so hard to remember that everything you see online is really just a “highlight reel” of actual life. I love blogging and the creative outlet it gives me, but I think it is so important to keep things real as well.

    Chantel Emma
    http://chantelemma.com

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  73. Suzanne | Agent Athletica

    My blog is mostly a news aggregate/fan blog at the moment, but I periodically incorporate relevant original content, and I’m striving to do more and more of that. Part of the reason I’ve been doing it at a modest rate so far is because I want the right “facade” in place just so.

    Here’s my take on why the facade is important to me: truthfully, my life isn’t where I want it to be at all right now. I want things to be more organized, clean, polished, healthy, chic, luxe, blah blah blah. My blog is a way to work toward curating that image. You know that saying, fake it til you make it. If my online presence makes my life appear a certain way, then I’ll start to feel like it really IS that way, you know? Seeing all the positive things about my life that fit with where I want to be helps me to focus on what I love, instead of fixating on all the things I hate like the ugly wall paint I can’t change.

    I definitely DO like to be honest about things from time to time, and the reader response can be awesome, but I think you have to reveal those struggles and things in really small, strategic, and *relatable* doses. You’re a great example of how to balance that.

    Also: major kudos to you if you really do check out EVERY blog, you’re so popular around here I imagine that’d be a HUGE job. 🙂
    Suzanne | Agent Athletica recently posted..Be Present Jacket + Someone Looks Good in the Party Onesie?! + MoreMy Profile

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  74. Sophia

    SOO true! I love blogging about things I love and enjoy and so much is hidden. Like the fact my life is actually extremely boring and not as glam or fun as I can make it look. But there is so much behind the scenes. It’s just important to stay true to yourself and not fall into the ways of blogging life. Or the persona behind it. LOVE your blog, keep up the great work L. Xoxox

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  75. Jules

    It’s funny because one would believe people would actually realize that we don’t throw 100% of our lives out there, even as a self preservation mechanism, but lately I’ve seen in a fair a amount of blog comments of hate and misunderstanding and I makes me wonder if people really think that what we are only what we show and thats why they feel “dissapointed” when we show another side of our lives, or if the blogosphere has become a place were people just come to rant and hate on others to cope with personal stuff. (its sad)
    Still I really appreciate you sharing what we all feel sometimes.

    Jules .- this is my blog if you’d like to check it out
    http://thekiwidiaries.com
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  76. Brienna

    this is so true but it’s also nice seeing that perfect life kind of thing I don’t know it kind of gives me to work harder towards my dreams. I work 3 jobs too and I don’t have a single day free so I’m falling behind on my blogging heaps :(.Also what are your favourite blogs to follow?

    brienna-rose.blogspot.com

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  77. Erin

    Your amazing Lauryn! Your the main reason I wanted to start my blog!! What you have done with it, making it what it is today is something to be so proud of!!…I love your realness!! I agree with all the above comments. I love having my own space online where I can feel pretty and beautiful when there’s so much ugly hate in the world !!.. Keep doing what you do!!..your an inspiration!!
    My lifestyle blog:
    http://Www.blondeandthecity.com

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  78. Katie

    Really liked your post! While we are being honest sometimes your IG pictures portray this life that seems unrealistic to a point of annoying and some parts aren’t my style (but hey your blog not mine!) and I stopped reading for a while- but saw the quote on IG — and this post restored my faith and really made a great point. Motivation and sharing the good ! Thanks for the reminder ! Cheers from a grad school student with three jobs (one bar tending as well) and thanks for the inspiration.

    Katie at http://www.runningaragnar.com

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  79. Ashlyn

    I loved this. I know yall are so busy just like everyone is. But my biggest pet peeve is bloggers mentioning how “omg so busy” every blog post.

    We all have the same amount of time in a day, we choose what to do with it.

    I’m so glad you use a part of your day to share things with us. xo

    Reply
  80. Laura

    Yes! I know that bloggers only share the nightlight feel but I still feel like everyone has it better together than I do. I usually blog about random lifestyle stuff but throw a good “WTF Life?” post for good measure. Now I am trying to do a blog rebrand, start another business, write an ebook and take care of a 2 year old at Christmas. Yeesh! But it’s all good right? Lol

    xoxo, Laura
    http://www.theaccidentalmama.com
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  81. Kirsten Jean

    Hi Lauryn! Loved this post. I have a close group of girlfriends and we all love your blog and are so obsessed with it. We always talk about how difficult it must be sometimes too seem so perfect but then again like you said you never know what’s going on in some ones life just by looking at an insta photo. Thanks for sharing! Hope you get a chance to check out my blog S&C.

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  82. Mariam Bandarian

    Thanks for posting this!! I’ve recently found your blog and check in to see whats new every few days lol!! I’m also a fairly new blogger (I’ve had a blog for 1 1/2 years but only started to take it more seriously as of a few months). My blog is all about health, nutrition and recipes.

    I love writing and sharing my knowledge but it’s hard sometimes when I see perfect posts, perfect recipes, professional blogs, and completely styled food photos…

    SO, Thanks for being real and talking some truth!!

    My blog is: http://www.missnutritionista.com

    xx,
    Mariam
    Mariam Bandarian recently posted..3 Ways to Prevent Stretch MarksMy Profile

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  83. Emma

    Thank you for this post Lauryn! So well written and so very true. And yes what you have said about blogger facade makes perfect sense (ps I love your definition!) we all have stress, we all have messy parts of our lives but not everyone who has a blog wants to show those parts of their life. Some of the reasons I love coming to your blog are because it makes me feel inspired, I get a renewed sense of what it is to be feminine and I enjoy being distracted from my own chaotic life through you motivating words, pretty images and creative ideas.

    For myself I have not posted on my blog http://www.thebrightlife.com.au since July!! And all because of certain comments from friends suggesting that my blog was not the real me! But after reading this post you have given me a renewed sense of understanding as to why I started my blog in the first place – so thank you lovely lady! And keep it up!
    Emma recently posted..How I Toned & Re-Shaped My Body in Only 6 WeeksMy Profile

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  84. Madison

    Love this! I have a fitness blog that I’ve been trying to seriously spread the word about for a little while now, I’m a personal trainer and I had clients tell me I should blog about the things they learn from me. I broke down the wall of realness with a post about eating disorders a couple months ago, the response after i posted it was incredible. I would be forever humbled if you took a look at my blog! Thanks so much!
    Madison recently posted..Goals: What Should You be Striving For?My Profile

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  85. Carla

    I am commenting from a reader-perspective strictly: There is a lot of blogs I don’t want to read. Most of them. I wan’t to be careful what I read online because too much input is not good for me. I don’t want to read everything about the day another person had or a lot of baking recipies (because frankly, I think I could outbake every single blogger;) or whathot. I only check three blogs on a regular basis and yours is one of them. I enjoy the professional pictures and the variety of topics you cover that are of interest to me. I like your professional approach of covering your niche only. I also enjoy not knowing a lot about you. It somehow keeps a certain mystery which I like.

    What worries me is that a lot of people are no longer capable of grasping the difference between knowing someone and “knowing” someone on the internet. Huge difference! I study psychology and I fear that a future field for psychologists will be working on selfesteem-issues with young people who are intimidated by the seemingly perfect lives they encounter on the internet on an hourly basis!

    Reply
  86. Sarah Barry

    I understand this — I’m relatively useless with a camera compared to many of the blogs that I follow, TSC especially, but I usually see the awesome pictures as inspiration. I remember despairing at how I was taking some of my photos a few months ago, so I thought, “Well, what are other girls doing? How can I make mine better?” I looked at things like how they laid their products out, tried to figure out how they used natural light, all that jazz — and I think it’s improved my blog!

    I’m not really a fashionable person, so fashion posts aren’t something I really look at, and if I feel a little insecure because of the amazing beauty or lifestyle photos, I remember that most of these people have been doing it a lot longer than I have — of course they have tricks up their sleeve! I don’t know the A to Z of makeup or photos or blogging — I probably don’t know A to B — and my blog was set up as a learning experience, so that’s what I’m doing! It’s a lot of work, but it’s a lot of fun.

    Sarah xo
    Diary of a Beauty Padawan
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  87. Tanja

    I really want to blog, but just cant see my self behind the facade? Not that I wan’t to hang it all out, I’m just not good at covering up all the time 😉
    The pancake sums it all up, many are burned, more are ugly or falling apart. The few that are presentable are eaten cold, so where is the pleasure of a perfect life .. LOL .. I do insta but not my perfect life, more my passion .. @starstruck_concrete ★ have a fab day 🙂

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  88. Laura

    This is such an honest and relevant post! There have been some bloggers that I have ended I not wanting to read their blogs anymore because their lives come across as so perfect in every post. A bit unrealistic and not very inspiring for me (personally) to read about someone’s $1,000 shoes or fancy parties that they spent two days cooking and decorating for. I am a normal lady who works full time and still has to do normal things so that smoke and mirrors is a bit uninspiring for me. I appreciate all of the truths in this post!

    She Likes to Shop

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  89. The Salonniere

    Love this post! I try to maintain the same thing with my blog – I want to make it a pretty, positive and inspirational place but at the same time, I wanna keep it real too, rather than just about presenting some image of a (not so) perfect life. Thanks so much for sharing your story behind the blogger facade, Lauryn! Right now I’m trying to juggle a bunch of things in my life, including work, writing, blogging and maintaining a healthy balanced lifestyle. I’ve been wondering if I’ll ever be able to make it all work but after reading your story, I’m inspired all over again! One question – how did you fit in family and friends between school, bar tending, teaching and blogging in those years? Sometimes I find myself turning down outings with friends to get all my work done and I always feel super guilty about this because they mean a lot to me! And thanks again for this great post! 🙂
    The Salonniere recently posted..Recipe: Lettuce CupsMy Profile

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  90. Melissa

    Love this!!! It’s so real and true. I think it’s so important to stay true to yourself as a blogger and how you live out your “real” life. And finding that balance!! Thanks for posting this! Xo

    Reply
  91. Breanna

    There’s a fine line between pulling back the curtain and just bitching. I love reading blogs to look into what another person wants to share about her life. When a blog turns into a space to complain and dwell about the hard parts of life it defeats my purpose of reading blogs to detach from the stressful/busy/frustrating parts of my life and just brings me down.

    I love posts like this that acknowledge that the harder parts of life exist, everything isn’t perfect, but we don’t need to go on further. Thanks for sharing in your great, honest voice!

    Reply
  92. Dr. Maetrix Ocon

    Hi Lauryn! I’m from the other side of the world, but I can completely relate to your blog! 🙂 I like how you don’t mince words and you just say what you think, no need to be nice and agreeable all the time. You’ve certainly got spunk! I even asked my boyfriend who’s based now in the US to get me a copy of your book and send it to me to the Philippines. Thank you for writing about this. I’ve considered junking my blog because it isn’t as “picture perfect” as most blogs out there. I got insecure and overwhelmed by the work blogging took, and it seemed like everyone’s virtual life was just all peaches and very smoothly edited. I got jaded. Thank you for being real. It’s comforting to know my frustrations are valid and yes, real life, with all its messy bits, doesn’t need to be out there online.
    Dr. Maetrix Ocon recently posted..Team WWW: Wisecracking, Wicked and Working-For-GreatnessMy Profile

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  93. Jill @ Champagne for Everyday

    TRUTH!! LOVE. It’s important for people to not only keep this in mind as they read blogs, but watch movies, scroll celeb instagrams, whatever. I def try to let hints of realness come through in my writing/photos since so many of us are similar and can identify (you’re great at this too). 100% with you re: sharing inspiring aspects of life versus the lesser ones 90% of the time. Also, realizing passion project dreams is a shitload of work and 2nd full (or more) time job, but I have never been so inspired and energized by creativity!!! <3 Such amazing community.
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  94. GiGi Eats

    Ah yes, the blogger facade! I read a lot of blogs that are 100% authentic and real people who post pretty much everything about their lives. I love that, because I know life isn’t perfect, not even for those who post “PERFECTION” all over their blogs (they’re hiding something). I don’t really talk about myself on my blog, I talk about topics, however, I do it in the most real form – via VIDEO – by doing this people see WHO I AM and I do not sugar coat ANYTHING. If you’re not happy with who you are as a person, why blog about yourself??
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  95. Berry Dakara

    I 100% LOVE LOVE LOVE this post, and will feature it as one of my Lovely Links this Wednesday. I’m a Lifestyle/Personal blogger from Nigeria, and I write about my life – good times and some bad, but a lot of people still think I have this perfect life, perfect marriage, etc. While I give snippets into my life and experiences, I don’t write about work, or give any real details of my marriage, and I rarely post pictures of my family/friends.

    I think that I see the blogger facade on a very large scale when I read fashion, style, and beauty blogs. I don’t think they’re trying to pretend that life is perfect, but as a reader, it’s easy to see the bloggers through rose-colored glasses.

    Berry Dakara
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  96. Gem Bolton

    Always love your blog, but especially loving your honest approach to these posts about blogging itself. Totally agree with the Dexter Morgan quote and the fact that whoever you are, blogger or not, there’s no such thing as a wholly perfect life. To share one of my fave quotes that so aptly says this – “no rain, no flowers”. Thanks for this piece! xx
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  97. Amanda Rinehart

    YES! Totally! I’ve only been blogging for about a year and a half. It takes dedication, drive, and a dream to keep up with it. I love it. And I keep it positive because I want to bring positivity to other people, at times, I need that positivity as well. I feel like the judgy-mcjudgersons think that “we” think our lives are soooo perfect that we have to blog it to the world. But that’s not the case at all. Yes, I want to inspire others, but I want to be inspired and learn from others too. It’s been a tough, judgy few months…

    Thanks for showing me I’m not alone. Cheers!
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  98. Hannah Brindley

    I’m so glad you posted this. 🙂 I’m just getting started with blogging and it’s good to know that most bloggers have this facade! I felt like my life was nowhere near perfect enough to showcase to everyone hahaha. I have had my blog created for a couple of months now, but I only JUST NOW made a post. Smh. I was nervous, but this post helped me realize that nothing has to be perfect! So, thank you. 🙂

    My blog is called When She Hustles. I think I posted the link above (LOL, I’m so new at this). There’s not much to look at, but I figured I would post a link just in case you were curious haha.

    xx,
    Hannah
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  99. Shyla

    Thanks for sharing! Inspiration is really great, but I think a lot of the time people are looking for the stories behind the success. Like you said everyone has challenges and life isn’t always perfect. It’s hard to see that in the blog world and social media because when everything posted is beautiful and inspiring you can’t see the hard work that went into making it look that way.
    Your blog is really great and I appreciate you sharing how hard you worked to get to where you are today. That is the most inspiring story. More inspiring than positive pictures and pretty things. Things like that are easy to find on instagram or pinterest, but the words you shared here and unique and relatable to everyone.

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  100. Susan

    I think it totally makes sense to keep “on topic” and positive with your blog content. Some blogs I used to follow devolved into a daily minutia picture dump, so I really appreciate the ones that remain focused. I started mine on a whim around my painting hobby.
    VeniVidiPainty.com
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  101. Christina @ The Beautiful Balance

    I’ve had a blog for 3 years now but just recently took it seriously in the past few months because of an insane schedule that looked much likes yours. Some of the blogs that inspired me to create my own blog are ones that I barely follow now because of their insane facade. Many of them sold out to brands that are willing to pump so much income to them that their original blog idea of vegan recipes and yoga posts are now Nestle cookies with a bunch of junk in them. Those recipes are pinned, shared, commented on more than I’ve ever seen and it makes me want to stop my blog if that’s what it takes to be successful blogging. You, however, change that. I’ve always loved how real you are. This is an amazing post that should be read by all bloggers so they don’t begin to aspire to create their own facade BS.
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  102. Kelly @ Trial and Eater

    I loved this post! As a blogger I know this to be true, and I think it’s also true for everyone’s online persona – ever heard of Facebook depression? Comparing your own day-to-day to people’s “highlight reel” can be a real downer. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts today!
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  103. Amira

    LOVE THIS POST! You are an inspiration and help motivate me when I think about blogging and blog life! You only see what people want you to see 🙂

    thefitsouls.com enjoy!

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  104. Ashley

    I hear ya. However, everyone has their niche. I’d imagine that not ever reader recognizes there is another side to that particular blogger. I take the complete opposite approach. I’m like a walking disaster! ha! I was in Vancouver recently and someone asked me ‘So, what’s your blog about?’. I’d never been asked that question before–not so straight forward, at least. I looked at her and responded: ‘Mmmmm, pretty much all the ways I fail as a parent and human, in general….’ hahaha! Tis true! http://www.smashleyashley.com

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  105. Stephanie

    I think the blogger facade is a double-edged sword. I agree that we will never know what is going on in bloggers´ lives and that we should not judge them for having the seemingly perfect life. But I do think bloggers easily get caught up in keeping up their facade, sometimes loosing touch with reality. That is what I love about your blog. You keep it real. You showcase Oxfords you got at Forever 21 and the best black damn black jean from Urban Outfitters instead of a $3,000 dollar new hand bag or you decked out in all Fendi. I understand that blogging is all about projecting an image, but it is just as important to be real and sincere. I could go on and on with my rant, but I will save you and the rest of your readers from that:) Thanks for such an inspiring post!

    Stephanie
    http://ishowedupinboots.com
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  106. Whitney

    I love thiiiiissss. I so appreciate you as a person and as a blogger. You are real, and sometimes the rest of the world is not. If someone done wronged you, eff em. Girlfriend you sparkle.
    Whitney recently posted..bloglovinMy Profile

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  107. Gem Bolton

    I just have to say, while I’m already hooked on your whole blog, I’m absolutely loving your recent spate of ‘behind the blogging’ features. It’s so true that nobody – whether blogger, celebrity or not – has a perfect life and that the Dexter quote is SO true. Also share your philosophy that life is dull without the odd challenge, as aptly said by one of my own favourite quotes: “no rain, no flowers”. Love it and thank you for sharing! x PS, sorry if you’ve already got a comment from me in moderation, I’ve been in a pickle with my tech! x
    Gem Bolton recently posted..Nutrition notes: iodine & Green Bay’s Fine KelpMy Profile

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  108. Anastasia

    Hi Lauryn!
    Your posts are always great. Would you maybe want to consider writing a post about your story of finding your passion? I am in a boring, unchallenging job, I always try to make the best of it and make it interesting. I, along with many women my age, are lost at trying to idenify passions that might lead to a fulfilling career. Anyway, just a thought!
    Happy holidays!

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  109. Jordyn

    First, I love your blog! This is such a great post and you have been such an inspiration for me to start blogging (I am pretty new at the whole thing!) So thank you for being so real and awesome! I love the blog!

    ahealthymess.ca

    xx
    Jordyn

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  110. Tara

    LOVE this and I have talked about this multiple times! It’s so easy to give into the world of “perfection,” and think that everything is wrong with YOUR life. If only people knew the work that went into it (and sometimes stress of keeping up with the game.)

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  111. ~ Carmen ~

    I’m really happy to read posts like this because it brings light to an important issue. Blogging isn’t easy, it isn’t one dimensional, it isn’t perfect. Oh & so is life. I don’t have perfect omelettes & that’s who I am. sorrynotsorry.

    :] // ▲ itsCarmen.com ▲

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  112. Lady ID

    I so know what you mean. And now that I blog, I know it even more. My friends know I have to take a photograph of food so they have to wait, lol. This facade is part of why I got off facebook. As long as people realise that it’s an edited view of life, they’re ok. But sadly, people easily get caught up in thinking that is the full reality.

    Some of my favourite bloggers and posts are the ones that show the failures and lessons learned, along with successes. If relevant, I try to mention them in my design posts. Like you though, I prefer to keep my personal life private as much as I can.

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  113. Nicole

    It is so great to read this – I try so hard to blog regularly but life is so messy always seems to get in the way. I have been super hard on myself as a result. It is nice to know that even the ones who seem to have it all together struggle. 🙂

    Check my blog out – I am trying to write more regularly!
    Nicole recently posted..New obsession – BEETSMy Profile

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  114. Suzi McAlpine

    Thanks for keeping it real Lauryn! I have a major crush on TSC and love all your posts…but this one struck me with full force. I can totally relate to your comments. The blogger facade is REAL; the same could be said for so many things in life. I love blogging because we CAN give people a bit of behind the scenes sass and personality – even if we are maintaining a brand image. In fact, I think a peek behind the scenes works to our advantage. I always find the personal posts have way more traction than the brand-i-fied ones…like this one I wrote about my son when he was sick (from my blog, The Leader’s Digest): http://bit.ly/1lYNmzH Keep being awesome and keep on keeping it real. Suzi xx
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  115. Chekara

    Thank you so much for posting this!!! I’ve only been blogging for about 8 months… but this is definitely something that held me back. I’ve taken several “hiatuses” from my blog because of too much stress, too much on my plate, plus I was constantly comparing myself to other bloggers and trying to make everything I posted and did seem perfect. Your post was an awesome reminder that LIFE IS NOT PERFECT. You go through stuff and you make the best with what you’ve got.

    thank you so much for this!
    xo, chekara | shadesofchekara.com
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  116. Catherine Okereke

    Lauryn, loved this. Thank goodness for inspirational bloggers like you! I agree that this really is a platform for inspiration and positive vibes. But when it gets TOO perfect, I just can’t relate, which is part of why I love that you posted this.

    My husband actually had a really hard time with my blog in a certain way when I started it. He’d say ‘why don’t you dress up like that for me’ when I’d do a shoot…

    I do a lot of neat things in my life but it can be easy not to see the coolness. That’s one aspect of what I like about the blog and Instagram – all the things I share really did happen, so it reminds me to appreciate how things look from the outside…even if I feel really different on the inside at times!

    Cheers to you!

    XO,

    Catherine

    http://www.mypowerpose.com
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  117. Marian

    You rock. Your honesty is amazing, and I appreciate your beautiful photos that much more because I know a little bit more about the person in the pictures and behind the lens! Love it!!

    Reply
  118. Kristen Crane

    Starting my blog has been a struggle for me for a good 2+ years. I still feel like I never have time for it and sometimes I want to freak out because I get so discouraged and feel like it will never turn out how I want it to or ever help me quit my stressful 5am-2pm full time job. I have so manyyyy ideas but I am literally my own worst enemy when it comes to just being consistent and pumping out content until I gain traction. I want to release + market my Pinterest services but I am so scared of failing.

    My blog is mylovelyhabits.com and I hope one day I work hard enough to make it into something bigger.

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