Today on the blog Jaime Mcfaden is here to help us all get on track for 2023. She is a self-care specialist, speaker, author & mother who specializes in, drumroll please – SELF-CARE.
If you follow Lauryn, read the blog & listen to The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER Show, then you know that Lauryn & Michael are always talking about setting goals, BUT that the important thing is the systems & daily habits to get you there. Well, Jaime has done exactly that but with self-care.
In this post she’s going to tell us her top 10 self-care & wellness tips, but also talk to about her structure & the pillars of self-care to a create a happier, healthier YOU.
With that, let’s welcome Jaime to the blog.
Hi, I am Jaime Mcfaden, Self-Care specialist, speaker, author and mama bear. I helped to co-write Lauryn’s first bikini body guide almost a decade ago and I am thrilled to be back teaming up to write this blog about wellness tips for you!
A bit of backstory so you know who I am: I grew up a people pleasure, raised by an old school Greek family (whom I LOVE) with the ideology that women are meant to be: nice, pretty, cook and reproduce. I was not healthy and struggled with insomnia, anxiety and depression and nearly died at age 12. I knew deep down something had to shift. I took baby steps to get healthy but it was a LONG road. I did not follow the “traditional path” and hit many obstacles along the way to feeling and being WELL.
It wasn’t until I was 18 and my dad unexpectedly passed away from a stroke that I realized the importance of self-care. I studied everything about the body, fitness, nutrition and got obsessed with learning all that I could to change the “outcome” of my life path. I became a personal trainer and got to work alongside Jillian Michaels for 10 years, created multiple wellness programs and eventually became known for developing wellness programs across the globe. I am now working to raise awareness to self-care for moms – if moms take care of themselves better, I believe the whole world will change.
Here is the takeaway from my story —- you can change your life at any point, you just have to find the tools, support and discipline to be consistent. The community I am creating is to debunk the idea that self-care is about a solo mission. It takes a freaking village.
I am a mom to a beautiful 5 year old girl and I know first hand the importance of putting my oxygen mask on first to lead by example. I hope to show other moms in the world that you too, can have a career, kids, family life and still take great care of yourself. The better we take care of ourselves, the better we show up in the world.
I’ve been in the fitness industry for over 12 years and the common theme of what still needs some love is the importance of self-care as a NON negotiable. It is NOT a luxury, something to feel guilty about or believe that it has to be a certain way. YOU get to decide what your wellness priorities are and I am going to share my top 10 tips in this post. Feel free to take what works for you.
Let’s start out by defining what self-care is: it’s taking action to preserve or enhance your well-being. Simply put: taking FULL responsibility for our own wellness.
Newsflash- Google searches for self-care have gone up 250% in the past few years and it’s no surprise why. It’s time we take responsibility for our health in more than just getting our hair and nails done—nothing against that, but buying a new expensive bag or distracting yourself through surface self-care isn’t going to enhance your vitaliity over time. Think of your life right now as a marathon, instead of a sprint. What truly matters to you most? Of all the people I’ve worked with through the years it’s the same theme – regardless of how much money you have, your relationship status and your body type- you have an opportunity RIGHT NOW to change your life and it all comes down to one person: YOU.
But, remember: it doesn’t have to be done alone. Joining a self-care community is a great way to create consistency and accountability- which are two KEYS in sticking to our goals.
I am going to share my TOP 10 wellness tips with you but before I do – I want to share my quick system that will be a GAME CHANGER when it comes to your self-care routine.
When it comes to my wellness routine I created a system I will share with you in this post to keep it SIMPLE, its called: WAVE. A 4 part system that will support your self-care needs.
WAVE stands for: Well-being, awareness, vision and energy. With these 4 pillars you can literally change your life and start today to take steps towards your most authentic and powerful self.
Here’s how it works. Grab a pen and paper and write down a self-care goal you have for 2023. Choose within ONE of these categories:
♡ Mental – anything that has to do with your brain health.
♡ Physical – all things that have to do with your body, movement, nutrition, sleep.
♡ Emotional- Anything that relates to your feelings, emotions.
♡ Social – Making the most of the relationships you have.
♡ Spiritual – Tapping into your deepest sense of self, connecting to the bigger picture intangible things.
♡ Financial – Think of this as your wealth management aspect, finances tap into all areas of our life.
THINK: BIG, RIDICULOUS DREAM GOAL (imagine I have a magic wand and can make your dreams come true). Next, write out the acronym WAVE and leave room so you can write out each one –
♡ WELL-BEING: What does it mean to be well and reach that goal?
♡ AWARENESS: Bring awareness to what you are currently doing or not doing to make that happen – write down a list of things and make sure you give yourself love and compassion along the way.
♡ VISION – time to get your artist hat on and metaphorically map out what it looks like – this is your vision so make it whatever you dream up
♡ ENERGY – what 1-3 actions are you committing to? + bonus: share with your network what you are committing to so you have accountability.
Once we map this blueprint out, we can begin our journey to self-care. Yes, it is actually this simple. However, there is one caveat – the biggest lie we are taught to believe about self-care is the idea that it is a solo mission. It is all about creating your self-care VILLAGE.
I am a big believer in having support in all areas of wellness. For example, I have a therapist, a neuroscience doctor I work with, a financial advisor, child psychologist, and spiritual guide to name a few. When we have accountability, we are more than twice as likely to reach our goals.
Self Care & Wellness Tips for a Fab 2023:
♡ LIVE by your 3 core values. If you aren’t sure what they are, check out this list from amazing author, James Clear, and choose 3 words that truly resonate with you. Once we know what is most important to us, we can take steps to make those a priority in our daily lives.
♡ Reflect on the past year and think about what you’ve learned, how you have grown, the way you want to show up this year and some things you can celebrate that you have accomplished! Here is a great post on the art of reflection.
♡ Map out 20 minutes per day for yourself on your calendar and move your body in a way that feels good. Our body is our greatest asset, let’s make time to nurture it. I know Lauryn has a bunch of great resources like Melissa Wood Health, but here are three of my FREE workouts you can use today too: one, two, three.
♡ Create a NON-negotiable self-care list, make sure you have a journal and use it daily. I do a brain dump daily in the AM and PM. When we write our thoughts, feelings and tasks down, we get them out of our head which can help with what is known as monkey mind- I love the planner that Lauryn created.
♡ Get some high quality vitamins. As much as I’d love to get all my nutrients in my natural diet, even with super clean eating, due to our unhealthy soil, most of us are not getting enough vitamins in our diet. Supplementation is a great way to make sure you are giving your body what it needs. Before adding them to your diet, I HIGHLY suggest calling your doc and getting some blood work done. Once you know your levels you can curate a vitamin regime that fits your personal needs. These are my favorite brands: Athletic Greens, Cymbiotika, SC Medicinals.
♡ Turn your phone on DO NOT DISTURB for hours at a time each day and put your phone away 1 hour before bedtime. Don’t look at it until you wake up. We are attached to these devices and it’s not healthy. Take inventory of how much time you spend on your phone (you can find this in your settings) and commit to lowering that screen time by 10% in the next two weeks. You can do this! And you will probably be surprised how much more focus you will have.
♡ Plan something FUN to do. As adults we often forget about the importance of fun in our lives. I have a DAILY dance party with my 5 year old in our kitchen, it’s a GAME changer. Here is one of our fave dance playlists we use.
When it comes to FUN, children understand this much better than many adults. The best way we can spark creativity is through playtime. Commit to making playtime a daily ritual for your health!
♡ Color your plate as much as you can each day. I live by the 80/20 rule. I eat all the things, yet I make sure to FUEL my body with high quality goodies before having my wine and cheese. I am a big believer in cooking most of your meals to enhance your relationship with food, and to know what the heck you are putting in your body. Save the indulgences for date/girls nights and your body will thank you! To make things easier – map your meals out Sunday before the week begins. When we plan ahead, we will be more successful, even when life throws curve balls. I also love to test new recipes and am loving this blogger right now.
♡ Get some super cute new workout gear that’ll feel good on your skin. Vuori clothes fit so well, they accentuate curves and they are a sustainable company that gives back. And while you are at it, commit to taking 1 walk around the block each day whenever you can, moving our body outside in nature is called “ecopsychology,”which is literally optimizing our energy through time in nature.
♡ Learn about BREATHWORK this year. Our breath is everything. If you are reading this take 3 deep inhales and exhales right now. Notice how you immediately feel a sense of CALM – when we SLOW down and tap into our breathing, we become present. And what’s the best thing we can do in this wild life journey? Be PRESENT.
♡ Surround yourself with people who are LIVING the lifestyle you want to cultivate- ask for SUPPORT, embrace your village and reach your goals. Here are some of my favorite accounts to follow and are part of my self-care village:
You are worth living a life you love. This time is LIMITED and your health account is your strongest bank account. As one of my famous fitness mentors (Elaine Lalanne, 95 years young) taught me this magical phrase… “it’s all about what you do MOST of the time, not what you do some of the time.”
Think about this when it comes to your self-care. Start putting yourself first on the list and treat yourself better because you are a beautiful, kind, wondrous piece of MAGIC!
There you have it. Some simple but POWERFUL tips & hacks to get you on the right path to self-care. Like Jaime says, it’s not all about hair, nails and facials, it’s about mindset, mood & being present, and doing that in whatever way suits you best.
x, The Skinny Confidential team.
+ stalk Lauryn’s specific meditation routine & how you can get started.
++ learn about the benefits of connecting with nature here.