It’s My Birthday!!! & Here’s What I’ve Learned So Far

by
LAURYN

The Skinny Confidential talks birthdays.

Since it’s my b-day ( HEY FELLOW GEMINIS!!! ) I figured I’d compile a little list of some of the most important things I’ve learned thus far.

(Here’s the thing: blogging is fun because I always imagine my kids growing up & being able to see an online scrapbook of my life. So if anything, this could potentially be a cool post for my future kid(s) to read? Kind of like “oh Mom is talking about something other than organic tampons, cool!” Let’s hope they don’t see my posts on vagina steaming, camel toes, &/or Kegels but that’s neither here nor there…).

So here’s what I got:

1.) YOU ARE GOING TO GET criticized NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, SO DO YOUR THANG.

Honestly, this is number one for a reason. No matter where I’ve been in life, people have criticized me. If I had listened to every piece of negative feedback, I’d be like sitting in a dark cellar counting flies on the wall, drooling. We’ve all been criticized at one time or another. You gotta do what you gotta do, & either way someone, somewhere will have something to say. If you don’t want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

2.) START WITH A SMALL IDEA, ZONE IN ON IT, & BECOME REALLY, REALLY GOOD AT THAT IDEA…TO LEAD TO BIGGER OPPORTUNITIES.

Instead of thinking big/BIG/BIGGGG, think small & grow outward like an upside down triangle. Remember the Chinese proverb I posted on Instagram? “If you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one.” I always try to focus in on the niche & expand outward. Having 6 million ideas ( AHEM SONJA MORGAN…I mean WOW ) is scattered & doesn’t allow you to be a full-on PROFESSIONAL at one thing. I’d rather be a fucking genius in one area, than average in twenty.

3.) BEING AN ASSHOLE GETS YOU NOWHERE. BE NICE.

We’ve all been there. I had a moment where I was in the Post Office a few months back. I was grumpy, irritable, & annoyed at something going on at work. When I got to the counter, I snapped at the man working because he was taking a long time. Immediately I regretted it and guilt consumed my whole body…so I apoligized sincerely. I still go to that Post Office & now we’ve become friendly.

Being a bitch is nasty.

Smile, be gracious, be kind, & be humble.

4.) YOU NEVER KNOW…

Oh geez. Don’t judge until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes. People assume they know everything about me because a lot of my life is documented through social media. They don’t. In fact, they don’t know 80% of my past or my life. I have had MANY bumps in the road. MANY. No one has seen my struggles, & that’s ok with me but to judge without knowing isn’t logical. Life online looks flawless, #blessed, & glamourous. Don’t judge a book by its cover because you never know. No one likes a Judge Judy anyway.

The Skinny Confidential talks birthdays.

5.) DOGS ARE LITTLE BITS OF HEAVEN.

Honestly guys I had to add this to my list. My dogs are SO important to me. I have a special connection ( as we all do with our dogs ) with my fur babies. They bring so, so, so much joy into Michael’s & my life. We’re so lucky to have such amazing, beautiful creatures. They’ve taught me so many lessons in loyality, companionship, & love.

6.) YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE.

This is PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING EVER FOR ME. For years I would try to control the outcome of family drama, friendships, work, etc. This year I’ve realized that ‘it is, what it is’. Me trying to control the situation & change people into something they’re not is counterproductive & fucking pointless. It’s a waste of breath. People are who they are. This year I’ve become more accepting…especially because you never know the whole story. People are set in their ways for their own reasons.

7.) DIETS SUCK. A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE IS WHERE IT’S AT.

Yesssss, yesssss, yesssss. A diet is like a stupid ex-boyfriend that you don’t want to text when you’re drunk. You text him & then regret it afterwards. Diets give you that empty feeling once they stop working. It’s a quick fix & high with short term results. Sticking to healthy living, wellness remedies, green juice, weekly workouts, water, oils, herbs, clean foods, & good vibes is a long term, sustainable goal. Balance is key!

The Skinny Confidential talks birthdays.

The Skinny Confidential talks birthdays.

8.) NO ONE IS GOING TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.

If you want something to happen, get off your ass & make it happen. Ok if we’re being honest, I asked Michael to add one of his life tips, so this was his addition. A fairy godmother isn’t going to come create a dream career for you because you went to an amazing college… Life is what you make of it. If you want to be a real estate agent, go for it. It’s not going to fall into your lap. If you want to be in a better relationship, work on yours or get out & say BYE. If you want to do good in the world, then do good. Opportunities don’t just fall from the sky, you gotta make it happen.

9.) WORRYING IS LIKE A ROCKING CHAIR, IT GETS YOU NOWHERE.

I MEAN IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS AT 20, I WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH LESS STRESS THROUGHOUT MY LIFE SO FAR. Worrying is pointless. Pointless. What’s the point of worrying? Whenever I start worrying about something I cannot control, I shift my focus. Life is going to flow how it flows.

And lastly,

10.) THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAIR OR UNFAIR.

Things are what they are. I keep the words ‘fair’ and ‘unfair’ out of my vocabulary. You make your own life, your own destiny, & your own future. You can get what you can get, or you don’t. Life isn’t fair or unfair, unless you cultivate that— focus on moving forward & don’t worry about what other people are doing…remember as Bethenny Frankel said “stay in your own lane!”

Obviously this is a list of things that I need to work on daily because I’m not perfect by any means & need daily reminders. Really, it just kind of helps to write these reminders down! I’m not preaching, just sharing…again, do what works for you!

What would you add to this?

Off to celebrate!! Have some chilled champagne for me guys, k? lauryn x

ps. thank you guys so much for all the thoughtful Snapchat birthday messages ; ) you made my day!

The Skinny Confidential talks birthdays.

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    1. AvatarJean

      Hi Lauryn! Happy Birthday!! It was my birthday this past Sunday! (Memorial weekend) cheers to being Geminis! I just wanted to thank you for this post, I really needed it. I have been stressing about so many things and this post really hit home for me. I am such a huge fan of yours, you are such an inspiration! I love following your snap chat stories daily 🙂 Thank you for providing such note worthy advice and sharing a part of your life with all of us! It would be a dream come true to be able to meet you some day! Look forward to your future blog posts!

      xoxo
      Jean

  1. AvatarAnita

    I loved these! All great — #1 and #9 are particularly good reminders for me right now.

    Also, your description of your relationship with your puppies make me want (even more than normal, which is a lot!) to bring home a puppy with me TONIGHT. Dogs are just the best. It’s fact.

    I hope you have an awesome birthday!

    Always, Anita
    Anita recently posted..A Future in TexasMy Profile

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  2. AvatarTiffany

    Fist off . . .Happy Birthday! Hope you treated yourself to one of those yummy Sprinkles cupcakes (my fav).

    Second . . .Amen! I personally love and live by #3, #4 and #5 and am still learning to accept #6. Also, tell Michael, I LOVE his addition, #8! I have a 16 year-old son, and teenagers this day have such a sense of entitlement, I totally agree with him and will use some of this verbiage in one of our next talks. You’re blessed to have learned these lessons so early in life. I’m 40 (ahem) ish and have only recently learned some of these lessons. Kuddos!
    Tiffany recently posted..Gluten Free Banana BreadMy Profile

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  3. AvatarPaulaR

    Wow – this resonated through my bones….. I absolutely needed to read this post first thing this morning. We need a life reality sometime and mine came through your post. Thank you

    Reply
  4. AvatarNovella

    Hi Lauryn! I just learned today that we share the same birthday! I’ve been following TSC for awhile and never knew that little fact! Great post! I did a reflective post recently on my blog too about 29. I hope that your birthday is wonderful! Thank you for the great content and inspiration. Can’t tell you how many times TSC has inspired me to get into the gym even when I didn’t feel up to it!
    God bless, Novella

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  5. AvatarShannon

    Happy birthday, fellow Gemini (I knew I liked you at first internet sight!) !! I truly hope it is phenomenal!! And I love, love LOVE LOVE these posts. They are so inspiring, and your advice is damn.good. and things that just need to be heard by all. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and always empowering women everywhere! Now go enjoy some bubbles!! <3 <3 <3 xx

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  6. AvatarBritt

    It doesn’t surprise me that you are a gemini! That must be why I love your blogging style so much! My birthday is in a week. Happy Birthday Lauryn! You are my favorite blogger…. ever 🙂

    Reply
  7. AvatarHaley

    Happy Birthday!!! I love this list; they ALL resonated with me. I started trying to keep track of which numbers I loved the most….and then realized that every single one was on the list. They are such good reminders. One of my favorites is the one from your husband, though. I’ve spent so many years thinking about what I want, waiting for god knows what to happen, and just now, at 28, I’ve finally started to MAKE it happen, and I can’t help but thinking, “it’s about damn time!”

    <3 Haley @ http://www.beautyinthischaos.com
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  8. AvatarDanielle

    Hands down I love all of them. Most definitely #1 & #8 (Thanks Michael!!) I would also add “Don’t sugar coat things/situations/etc.” I already have a hard time communicating things, so telling the person what you how you feel right off the bat save you and that person time instead of beating around the bush!

    Also since you’ve been to Japan
    誕生日おめでとう〜!Happy Birthday~! <3

    -Dani
    Danielle recently posted..SOTW #24: FallingMy Profile

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  9. AvatarAndrea Petersen

    Firstly, happy birthday. Secondly, THANK YOU for writing these lessons. I live by (most) of these myself but they’re so easy to forget and it’s so nice to hear others believe in them too. Number 1 was the most effective for me as I started my own blog in January and frequently get self-conscious about it around my friends but HATERZ GON’ HATE. Have a great night fellow Gemini, mines in 2 weeks 😉 Lots of love, Andrea xxx

    http://www.andreaspassions.com

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  10. AvatarJordan

    Holy crap girl! We have the same birthday! It must be for blonde hair blue-eyed girls 😉 and we are both engaged! Happy birthday!

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  11. Avatarkatie

    This could not have appeared in my inbox at a better time, I’m thinking so much about the life ahead of me and how I want it to be or not to be, it was so necessary to take a step back and a deep breath, so thanks 🙂 Happy birthday!

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  12. AvatarAlexa Hampton

    I love when you do posts like this! You’re so wise! The one about dwelling on whether things are “fair” is particularly on point — you can do everything right but unfortunately, sometimes things just happen. Interesting side note — I took Judaism classes while studying abroad in Israel and they said the word “fair” with that definition doesn’t even exist in Hebrew! IE there’s a word for fair-skinned, but not for “this isn’t fair!” I thought that was fascinating! Happy birthday!
    Alexa Hampton recently posted..8 Things I Learned After a Week as a Gluten-Free VeganMy Profile

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  13. AvatarMichelle

    Happy Birthday, Lauren! Thanks for sharing your list. It does make sense that you are a Gemini — me, too! (My bday is tomorrow!) Have some fun 🙂

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  14. AvatarRachel

    I struggle so much with worry and anxiety. So much so that I have pretty severe digestive issues. How do you shift your focus? Are there any specific thoughts or actions you take? Thanks! 🙂

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