It’s My Birthday!!! & Here’s What I’ve Learned So Far

Since it’s my b-day ( HEY FELLOW GEMINIS!!! ) I figured I’d compile a little list of some of the most important things I’ve learned thus far.

(Here’s the thing: blogging is fun because I always imagine my kids growing up & being able to see an online scrapbook of my life. So if anything, this could potentially be a cool post for my future kid(s) to read? Kind of like “oh Mom is talking about something other than organic tampons, cool!” Let’s hope they don’t see my posts on vagina steaming, camel toes, &/or Kegels but that’s neither here nor there…).

So here’s what I got:

1.) YOU ARE GOING TO GET criticized NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, SO DO YOUR THANG.

Honestly, this is number one for a reason. No matter where I’ve been in life, people have criticized me. If I had listened to every piece of negative feedback, I’d be like sitting in a dark cellar counting flies on the wall, drooling. We’ve all been criticized at one time or another. You gotta do what you gotta do, & either way someone, somewhere will have something to say. If you don’t want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

2.) START WITH A SMALL IDEA, ZONE IN ON IT, & BECOME REALLY, REALLY GOOD AT THAT IDEA…TO LEAD TO BIGGER OPPORTUNITIES.

Instead of thinking big/BIG/BIGGGG, think small & grow outward like an upside down triangle. Remember the Chinese proverb I posted on Instagram? “If you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one.” I always try to focus in on the niche & expand outward. Having 6 million ideas ( AHEM SONJA MORGAN…I mean WOW ) is scattered & doesn’t allow you to be a full-on PROFESSIONAL at one thing. I’d rather be a fucking genius in one area, than average in twenty.

3.) BEING AN ASSHOLE GETS YOU NOWHERE. BE NICE.

We’ve all been there. I had a moment where I was in the Post Office a few months back. I was grumpy, irritable, & annoyed at something going on at work. When I got to the counter, I snapped at the man working because he was taking a long time. Immediately I regretted it and guilt consumed my whole body…so I apoligized sincerely. I still go to that Post Office & now we’ve become friendly.

Being a bitch is nasty.

Smile, be gracious, be kind, & be humble.

4.) YOU NEVER KNOW…

Oh geez. Don’t judge until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes. People assume they know everything about me because a lot of my life is documented through social media. They don’t. In fact, they don’t know 80% of my past or my life. I have had MANY bumps in the road. MANY. No one has seen my struggles, & that’s ok with me but to judge without knowing isn’t logical. Life online looks flawless, #blessed, & glamourous. Don’t judge a book by its cover because you never know. No one likes a Judge Judy anyway.

5.) DOGS ARE LITTLE BITS OF HEAVEN.

Honestly guys I had to add this to my list. My dogs are SO important to me. I have a special connection ( as we all do with our dogs ) with my fur babies. They bring so, so, so much joy into Michael’s & my life. We’re so lucky to have such amazing, beautiful creatures. They’ve taught me so many lessons in loyality, companionship, & love.

6.) YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE.

This is PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING EVER FOR ME. For years I would try to control the outcome of family drama, friendships, work, etc. This year I’ve realized that ‘it is, what it is’. Me trying to control the situation & change people into something they’re not is counterproductive & fucking pointless. It’s a waste of breath. People are who they are. This year I’ve become more accepting…especially because you never know the whole story. People are set in their ways for their own reasons.

7.) DIETS SUCK. A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE IS WHERE IT’S AT.

Yesssss, yesssss, yesssss. A diet is like a stupid ex-boyfriend that you don’t want to text when you’re drunk. You text him & then regret it afterwards. Diets give you that empty feeling once they stop working. It’s a quick fix & high with short term results. Sticking to healthy living, wellness remedies, green juice, weekly workouts, water, oils, herbs, clean foods, & good vibes is a long term, sustainable goal. Balance is key!

8.) NO ONE IS GOING TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.

If you want something to happen, get off your ass & make it happen. Ok if we’re being honest, I asked Michael to add one of his life tips, so this was his addition. A fairy godmother isn’t going to come create a dream career for you because you went to an amazing college… Life is what you make of it. If you want to be a real estate agent, go for it. It’s not going to fall into your lap. If you want to be in a better relationship, work on yours or get out & say BYE. If you want to do good in the world, then do good. Opportunities don’t just fall from the sky, you gotta make it happen.

9.) WORRYING IS LIKE A ROCKING CHAIR, IT GETS YOU NOWHERE.

I MEAN IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS AT 20, I WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH LESS STRESS THROUGHOUT MY LIFE SO FAR. Worrying is pointless. Pointless. What’s the point of worrying? Whenever I start worrying about something I cannot control, I shift my focus. Life is going to flow how it flows.

And lastly,

10.) THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAIR OR UNFAIR.

Things are what they are. I keep the words ‘fair’ and ‘unfair’ out of my vocabulary. You make your own life, your own destiny, & your own future. You can get what you can get, or you don’t. Life isn’t fair or unfair, unless you cultivate that— focus on moving forward & don’t worry about what other people are doing…remember as Bethenny Frankel said “stay in your own lane!”

Obviously this is a list of things that I need to work on daily because I’m not perfect by any means & need daily reminders. Really, it just kind of helps to write these reminders down! I’m not preaching, just sharing…again, do what works for you!

What would you add to this?

Off to celebrate!! Have some chilled champagne for me guys, k? lauryn x

ps. thank you guys so much for all the thoughtful Snapchat birthday messages ; ) you made my day!