Happy Mother’s Day, Plus Kris Jenner’s Lemon Cake & Slutty Brownies

This year is a very special Mother’s Day for me because I now have a beautiful baby. Today I’m celebrating Mother’s Day with Zaza & thinking of my mom & The Nanz. But I’ll also be celebrating other mother figures in my life.

Happy Mother’s Day to my stepmom Julie, my sister Faye who is an amazing mother to Daxton, Zaza’s Godmom Gillian, my mother-in-law Lisa, my aunts Cheryl & Karen, one of my best friends Faith ( who just had her baby girl, Aspen ), my other BF Ingrid, my sister-in-law Jordan, my Godmom Jennifer, & my friends Betsy, Jackie, Carly & Linda Stolman ( Fashionlush’s mom ).

I also want to extend a Happy Mother’s Day to all my TSC readers who have been supporting me from the beginning. I hope you’re all having the most peaceful day in quarantine. In the meantime, here are 3 recipes you can make on Mother’s Day.

♡ Kombucha Cocktails

Cocktails with probiotics. If that’s not cool, I don’t know what is?

Some benefits of Kombucha according to this source:

♡ liver detoxification
♡ improved pancreas function
♡ increased energy
♡ better digestion
♡ improved mood ( helps with anxiety/depression )
♡ kills Candida ( yeast )
♡ helps nutrient assimilation
♡ weight loss

Ingredients:

1-2 ounces of vodka ( I like gluten-free Tito’s )
A couple splashes of sparkling water
A couple of splashes of Kombucha ( guava is amazing )
Fresh mint ( I like A LOT )
Shaved ginger
Grapefruit bitters ( if you don’t have this, use a squeeze of lemon )
Handful of ice

Directions: add ice to a chilled glass. Add vodka & top with a little sparkling water. Add 1/2 cup of your favorite Kombucha on top. Grab mint & clap it between your hands ( << this brings out the flavor ). Use mint as a garnish & mix it into the cocktail. Top with a couple dashes of grapefruit bitters ( or lemon ) & shave some ginger on top ( use a cheese grater to shave ginger! ). Option: add raspberries for a festive flair. CHEERS!

♡ Slutty Brownies

Sometimes a bitch has to live, you know? Enter SLUTTY BROWNIES. YES. YES. AND YES.

You heard that right. They’re brownies, & man, they are SLUT-TAY.

Not just kind of slutty though, but like a full blown, bending over in front of your boyfriend with no underwear on, biggest slut ever brownies.

WHY? Well…….

This isn’t some basic bitch, boring one layer brownie recipe, this is THREE LAYERS, guys. Plus ice cream.

Obviously the majority of my recipes are on the healthier, cleaner side, but this is too good not to share.

But backstory first: I met Gaby of the insane blog, What’s Gaby Cooking in New York City when we both met with the Skinnygirl team. We immediately clicked & while we were chatting away she mentioned that she had this recipe called Slutty Brownies. Obviously I was immediately intrigued because WELL DUH I NEED TO KNOW WHEN/WHERE/WHY/HOW these brownies were sluts?!

Once Gaby gave me the lowdown I knew we had to collaborate so she decided to share my dark chocolate dipped, candy pretzels ( recipe a la my stepmom, Julie ) on her blog, AND YOU GUYS got the slutty brownie recipe.

Ingredients:

Pre-made cookie dough or mix
1 box of brownie mix
1 pack of Oreos ( double stuff ones are even better if you can find them )
However many cage free eggs you need ( see box )
Some oil ( see box )
…Your favorite ice-cream ( this is optional, LOL )

Directions: Preheat your oven to 350F, 180C. Line a baking tray with grease proof paper. Follow the instructions on the boxes & stir furiously. Add a little extra water & oil to what they suggest. Layer the cookie dough on the bottom of a 9×9 baking pan, pressing down to form the bottom of the slutty brownies. Layer as many Oreos that will fit on top of the cookie dough. No need to overlap. One single layer will do. Pour the brownie batter on top of the Oreo layer & make sure it’s evenly layered on top. Bake for 30-35 minutes.

Test with a knife to see if the center is done. If the knife comes out clean, let the brownies rest before serving. If the knife comes out with batter still on it, allow the brownies to bake about 5 minutes more. The longer you let them sit, the prettier the layers inside will be, but honestly I just shoved them in my face warm & gooey. Serve with ice cream…because SHIT! IT’S MOTHER’S DAY!

+ adapted from What’s Gaby Cooking & The Londoner

♡ Kris Jenner’s Lemon Cake

If you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians you know all about this cake. You know the one where Kris & Khloe have a bake-off? Missed that one? Oh, well it was a good one. Anyway, they have this whole bake-off & Kris makes her famous cake. A cake she’s been making for 20 years. Actually she even is said to have made it for Lamar Odom weekly when he was married to Khloe, #TBT. AND IT’S A LEMON CAKE!

My ears perked up right away because I’m obsessed with lemon everything. Khloe gives her so much shit because this famous cake she bakes is out of a box. Well two boxes, actually- but we’ll get to that.

Listen, I am a busy bitch so something like this is right up my alley. I like Kris’ style. She does it all & bakes an insane, delicious, famous lemon cake? I want IN.

So I investigated. I do what I do best. Remember when I found their tea? Or how about those damn salad bowls? I’m all about the dig.

AT FIRST all I could find was Kris saying “fresh eggs & fresh oil, duh.” I LIVE. But I dug deep into the deep, dark web & found one measly article on Kris Jenner’s famous lemon cake.

Ingredients:

1 package DUNCAN HINES SIGNATURE DELICIOUSLY MOIST LEMON SUPREME CAKE MIX
1 package lemon instant pudding Mix ( 4 serving size )
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup water
4 cage-free eggs

+++ GLAZE: blend 1 cup powered sugar w/ either 2 tbsp. milk or 2 tbsp. lemon juice ( use juice of 3 lemons- we like it tart )

Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Blend all ingredients in a large bowl; beat at medium speed for 2 minutes. Bake in a greased & floured tube pan, 10″ or fluted for 45-55 minutes, until center springs back when touched lightly. Cool right side up in pan for about 25 minutes, then invert onto serving plate. GLAZE: Poke holes in the cake & then drizzle.

& this my friends, is how you get shit done like Kris J.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there.

Love,

Lauryn & Zaza

+ if you’re looking for something more hearty you’ll love these Brussels sprouts.

++ scope these recipes for people who ‘don’t know how to cook.’

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