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GIRLBOSS 101: The Importance of Positive Affirmations

positive reinforcement | by the skinny confidentialpositive reinforcement 3 | by the skinny confidential

I have been thinking about this post for a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng ( long, long, like a year ) time.

For a while there, I didn’t know why I had to think for so damn long & then I kind of had an AHA! moment.

The reason this particular post required so much thought is because it’s something I do everyday that’s kind of er, maybe personal…& even a little weird? Also, it has a huge impact my business, friendships, relationships, & day to day life.

Basically it’s about a little thing called positive reinforcement.

Instead of looking for reinforcement from other people, I look for the positive reinforcement from within by surrounding myself with constant, daily reminders.

In a way, it might sound strange or maybe even stupid that I tell myself ‘keep going!’ ‘You can do it!’ Or that I straight up have cliché quotes hanging around TSC office to remind myself to ‘just do it!’ BUT. It works.

Listen- like I said, this is a personal thing that works well for me. It may not work for you, but I wanted to share a piece of something special that’s helped me ‘keep going’ in business/life.

positive reinforcement 5 | by the skinny confidential
positive reinforcement 2 | by the skinny confidential

Of course I really never realized the exact practice of positive affirmations until one random day, I just sort of did realize it, ya know? I was probably 19 years old. That sounds confusing? & maybe I’m not making any sense?…but practicing positive affirmations was something I always just kinda did unintentionally.

I remember being 9 or 10 & having tiny little stickers in hidden spots that said quotes like ‘you go, girl’ or ‘success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out”. And I remember having pictures of how I envisioned my dream room to look when I was 12 or 16, and having some serious quotes on the front of my binder with pictures of how I envisioned life after high school. Almost like a vision board, I guess.

I mean, I never realized that displaying certain words/pictures/etc. were to ultimately appease my subconscious & serve as motivational reminders when things got tough, boring, or when life didn’t go as planned.

( I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again: I’ve had some shit happen in my life. Some of the stories are not mine to tell & some are ones I prefer to keep personal, but the point is: having positive reminders around my house/workspace/bedroom have provided a sense of comfort & positivity ).

Are you lost yet? Hope not. Ok so, what is positive affirmation? What EXACTLY do I mean?

This is my definition ( feel free to form your own ): having positive reminders around everyday that help you to manifest & create a happy life.

This may mean quotes around your house, candles burning with comforting phrases, business cards proudly on display to remind you of your goals, a tiny locket with a little picture or word, a painting that represents something to you ( for instance if your goal is travel the world, maybe it’s a map ), an inspiring book that’s highlighted and bookmarked, &/or a phrase that you quietly repeat to yourself each morning during a yoga class.

My girlfriend, Erica bought me a notebook for my birthday that says: BUILDING THE SKINNY CONFIDENTIAL EMPIRE TODAY!

Every morning I wake up, go to my desk & there it sits. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. Maybe I don’t acknowledge it every morning, but maybe I do?…subconsciously!

TSC bookmarks sit on my desk too. Why? So I can remember what I’m building.

Tiny positive life quotes are kept around my house. Some in secret spots. Some in open spots.

Each time I leave my house there’s a print that says HUSTLE ( remember this post? ). Reminding me & Michael to HUSTLE. Again, maybe we don’t acknowledge it…but we see it when we come home & when we leave. Every. Single. Day.

I blog, obviously. Sometimes I blog positive affirmations so it’s in front of an audience & it feels more real. Like this post about my wedding. It’s out in the open now, my measly list, but at least it’s a start you know? And sometimes I post inspiration on Instagram to share a specific quote that really resonated.

I EVEN WENT AS FAR TO HIDE ANYTHING NEGATIVE ON FACEBOOK & ONLY ‘LIKE’ THINGS THAT WERE POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, & MOTIVATING. ( Some of my ‘liked’ favorites are: chihuahuas/dogs, entrepreneurs, Business Insider, some cool bloggers, books I like, healthy food brands, my friend’s businesses, & Vogue magazine ).

I’ve been wanting to start my own foundation, so I made a little vision board & I keep it on display in TSC office.

Hell, even my iPhone notes have positive affirmations!! You’d find tons of quotes, sayings, reminders, etc.

Pretty much, I have positive intentions everywhere.

And I believe in it. It’s the power of positive thought, right.

positive reinforcement 6 | by the skinny confidential

positive reinforcement 4 | by the skinny confidential

Since I’ve been healing from a gnarly fucking surgery I’ve tried to put a lot of healing affirmations around the house. I have therapeutic essential oils burning, turmeric on hand, clean foods readily available, calming music, positive people, & happy reminders and books surrounding me.

I refuse to allow negativity in.

If this method is something you’re interested in exploring, I guess what I would suggest is to look around. What’s surrounding you? Are you surrounded by positive affirmations? If you’re trying to build a business, what’s your daily positive reinforcement? Is your vision laid out in front of you so you can see it? If you’re working on a relationship with a family member, friend, or boyfriend, are there little reminders around to remind you of what to work on? If you’re trying to adapt a healthier lifestyle, is that lifestyle the one that’s surrounding you? If you have a set goal, is there motivation around reminding you to stay focused?

A lot of you have asked me how I find motivation to blog everyday and a huge part comes from positive intention. And no one sets it for me. I do it for myself, a little everyday.

Do any of you guys do this? If so, what’s a positive affirmation that makes your day brighter & encourages you to attain your goals? As always, I would love to hear!

Happy Tuesday, x

– lauryn

{ TSC Book | notebook | gold pendant necklace | acrylic, gold stapler | bookmarks- email me }

positive reinforcement 7 | by the skinny confidential

  1. This is so key – I actually have an 8am reminder in my phone for “Positive Affirmations”. In the notes, I affirm things that I doubt myself on the most or think I am bad at. I listed a time when someone told me the opposite. It really helps! xx

  2. Love this so much! I actually have a tattoo on my foot that says “Positive is how I live” It’s key to success in all aspects of life. When I am being negative, my husband reminds me that I am not living my motto. Cheers!

  3. I 100% cosign this post! I’m at work right now and I am literally surrounded at my cubicle by quotes that I find motivating/inpiring/encouraging. Under my computer screen I have fortune cookie fortunes lined up that spoke to me specifically.

    I have a folder in my email inbox that is just labeled as an asterisk so it’s at the top and I file positive emails I’ve received from coworkers and funny email chains or memes we send around to look at to make me smile.

    At home I do this too and I’ve recently started leaving a post-it with a different quote on it every day for my boyfriend. I feel like he’s been in a work rut and is feeling dispassionate and I wanted to help turn his mindset around. He started moving the collection around his mirror.

    Also on the boyfriend note, I started writing down in Notes on my phone whenever he said or did something particularly sweet or loving and I look back on it often. I feel like even that helped me be more mindful and appreciative of him. Versus focusing on some negative experience from years prior (I used to have this habit of only remembering the bad things).

    3 years ago I started working really hard at being happier and shedding people and things in my life that overwhelmed me with negativity and stress. It was LIFECHANGING. I firmly believe positive thinking and positive reinforcement reaps positive experiences and people. Once I started that I became a more positive person and my life seemed to trend upwards lol.

    1. Sami, your story is so great! Thanks for sharing :)) I completely agree, the power of positivity is INSANE! Thanks for reading <3 xx

  4. Lauryn! I’m so pumped that you do positive affirmations too! There is nothing like an uplifting quote to energize and inspire me to get sh** done. Lately, I’ve been repeating “Victory” over and over to myself. I feel like it changes my whole vibe, makes me more proactive, and confident to take chances. I’m with you on banning negativity. It simply isn’t productive or helpful.

    I’m so happy you shared that you use vision boards and positive affirmations. It’s like when athletes say that they visualized making the goal, or holding the trophy and to help them keep their head in the game. It’s not weird, because it works!

    Best wishes on your recovery!
    xx Sydney

    1. Totally agree, Sydney. It so works! Since reading your comment, “Victory” is totally stuck in my head, so THANK YOU! Love it :)) xx

  5. Love this post! It’s so true that we all need these gentle reminders daily to get through thee day. Thank you so much for featuring my notebook from Minted Feather! I really appreciate it and I’m so happy that you loved it! 🙂

    Ami

  6. I absolutely love your blog! There is always positive energy coming from every single post you write . Thanks for taking the time to share with us ……even when you’re recovering!!

  7. I do this too!!! I love positive affirmations and quotes and literally anything that inspires me to keep at it! With whatever goal I’m trying to reach I’ve got a visual to keep me on track and you’re right it DOES work! Because we all need a little help remembering why we started something sometimes! Motivational quotes keep me blogging when I feel lazy about it and fitsporation pictures and quotes literally get me off my ass and working for it! I believe in the positive reinforcement all the way

  8. Love this idea! Me and my best friends always get a notebook and write down goals at the start of every girl, and positive notes. So nice when you look back at them through the year to see how your getting on!
    Tara x

    1. Definitely, Tara. I love thinking about what it was like when I started TSC and comparing it to now. It actually helps me continue to think of more goals! xx <3

  9. Ah, I love this post! The part I really, really love… is your perspective on how we might not always acknowledge the sign or journal or positive affirmation we have out… but perhaps we ARE still seeing those things on a subconscious level. This just reminds me how much what we have in our environment really does matter. Thanks for this post 🙂

  10. LOVE this post, and hope to see more like these. You are such an inspiration, so these things resonate. On a personal note, like you said, there are real stories, and things to keep private that aren’t instagram pretty – if you will – and I strongly believe the power of positivity through those. If you believe something, it WILL come true, so that’s why positivity is so so so important (thinking negatively/neutral always yields negative/no results). Thanks for sharing and that notebook is seriously the cutest! Can’t wait to see the TSC empire build brick by brick. x

  11. This post came at the right time! I’ve been searching for some motivation and I will try out some of your ways to get motivated! Thank you!

    P.s. I’d love to get a bookmark to go with my TSC book!

  12. Love this post soooo much. I’m kinda praying everyone to think positive.
    I live by “Everything happens for a reason!”, “Don’t call it a dream, call it a plan!” and “Positive mind. Postive Life”.
    Sometimes its hard, but it made my life so much better and easier and me so much happier.
    I hope that everyone around me realizes that too, after I tell them everyday! 🙂 I have them also as profil pictures… You go girl!!!

    Love from Munich.

    Mia

  13. Yes, preach it sister!! Especially over the past few years I am realizing how sensitive I am to the energies around me. I have got NO TIME for negative ninnes and nay-sayers and I surround myself with environments and people who are positive and lift me up! Not bring me down. It’s amazing what little subconscious changes can create in the long run! XO, diana
    http://www.204park.com

  14. Positive thinking is SUCH an important component of success — it’s what keeps me from losing focus and doing the best that I can. Wish you the best for your business, I’ve loved reading your posts for the past year!

    1. Thank you for the kind words, Deepti! I appreciate them 🙂 Thanks for reading the past year <3 xo!

  15. I agree 100% with you! I try to see the positive things in everything I do! Life’s too darn short to be negative. 🙂
    Great post with some really good ideas (like the note things!h thanks for sharing!
    Hope you have a great weekend

    Dorky-and-weird.blogspot.com

    Xoxo Jessy

    1. AGREED, Jessy. The time we have here should be spent being positive and productive :)) Thanks for reading! xx

  16. One of my positive affirmations that I tell myself everyday is simple: Be positive. It’s so easy to slide into negative ways of thinking between work, traffic, and responsibilities at home. Great post!

  17. YASSS! I cannot stress this ENOUGH! I’m HUGE on personal development and encourage anyone and everyone to read it. It’s a daily reminder than someone (some ordinary, random person,) took nothing and made something. That no matter where they are from or how they grew up, they are now successful. Knowing my weaknesses and picking up books that strengthen them . . . a MUST! Love this post Lauryn! No surprise there 😉

  18. Love this post!! You are my absolute favorite blogger. I worship you!!!! I’m always like “tsc does this, I’m going to go do my tsc workout, this is tsc’s favorite” I swear my boyfriend thinks I know you by how much I talk about you lol. TSC inspires me everyday to hustle and have that “girl boss” mentality. Your positivity and good vibes are truly contagious! 🙂 xo

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