Two nights ago Michael & I spoke as keynotes at The Collective Conf.
The conversation was open to the audience ( which we LOVE ). The room was bursting with creatives, entrepreneurs, bloggers, influencers, etc. What a buzz.
One of my favorite topics we discussed was growth.
And well for me, growth = discomfort.
Anyway, I figured I’d elaborate on this point on The Skinny Confidential.
So here’s MY experience…everyone is different obviously.
Every single good thing that’s ever “happened” to me, has made me extremely uncomfortable at first.
I put happened in quotes because things usually do not just happen, you cultivate them. You water them. You grow them.
& if you’re really intense about it, you actually map out a strategic, calculated future.
I did this from the beginning & I truly believe it’s helped lay the foundation of TSC. Obviously I have a very long way to go but everything that’s “happened” in my business & life has been mapped out- backwards & forwards.
Now I am going to say something that some of you may not agree with: YOU CANNOT BE A SUCCESSFUL HUSTLER WITHOUT GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE.
Let that sit.
But really, tell me something that’s “happened” to you in your life that’s really fucking cool.
Did you have to get uncomfortable before you became comfortable?
From my business experience so far, when I force myself to get uncomfortable, that’s where the magic happens.
Some examples: putting myself on the Internet in 2010- nerve wracking, working 3 jobs while launching TSC, the first time I spoke in front of a crowd, writing a book, doing my first meet-up ( I was so nervous ), negotiating business deals, launching a podcast SO AWKWARDLY with Michael ( this took time & practice ), and just putting my life online in general…
I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE bartending until midnight ( so many creepy stories! ), working 3 jobs with like $200 dollars ( on a good day ) in my bank account, going to San Diego State University taking classes I didn’t like while launching TSC. It was my reality for four years everyday. A lot of it represents discomfort.
But you chip away to get comfortable. Practice makes perfect. Rinse & repeat that shit.
Ultimately the more I get out of my comfort zone, the more I’m able to grow as an entrepreneur & person.
Because there is so much power in being uncomfortable…
Comfort comes from familiarity.
People usually don’t like trying new things. If you’re aware of this it will immediately allow you to stand out. New experiences = new opportunities. Mainly opportunity to grow.
Use fear as fuel.
Fear is uncomfortable but fear is usually right before the magic happens. I remember it took me a full YEAR to pull the trigger on launching The Skinny Confidential. I had everything ready but I was scared. Embarrassed maybe? Not ready? But who’s ever ready anyway?
Being “ready” is an excuse.
Embrace discomfort. Crave it. Look forward to it. Especially as an entrepreneur.
Nothing is ever perfect & running a business is constantly putting out fires. It just is.
As Tim S. Grover ( author of one of my favorite books RELENTLESS: FROM GOOD TO GREAT TO UNSTOPPABLE ) says: “Pressure is a privilege. Embrace it. Run to it. Let it take you where you want to be.”
Instead of surrounding yourself with YES MEN, surround yourself with people who challenge you. Maybe even people who make you uncomfortable sometimes. My best friends in the world call me out all the time. Even if there’s an awkward, uncomfortable conversation.
In my opinion if you want to become a successful business owner, you’d better get used to being uncomfortable. It may not come easy, but it is an obstacle anyone can overcome with willpower, discipline, & determination.
Also since we are kind of on the subject: most of time the more effortless something looks, the harder it was to achieve- if that makes sense. MEANING:
“THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE EASIER IT LOOKS.”
Most things are harder than they look.
But that’s ok because as long as you know this & create a strategic future by going into hustle mode, there won’t be any surprises. You won’t be surprised when things get uncomfortable.
In my experience, the more uncomfortable I am, the better the result.
CRAZY? Not really.
Superior results require sacrifice, struggle, & getting uncomfortable.
So what’s the point? The point is: get comfortable being uncomfortable.
For the record, I usually force myself to be uncomfortable everyday.
Your turn: Thoughts? Who’s uncomfortable right now? What’s making you uncomfortable? Do you believe getting uncomfortable is worth it?
“Don’t limit your challenges. Challenge your limits.”
Ok I am about to go lay on my acupressure mat & watch Black Mirror. Happy Thursday!
– lauryn
+ yesterday we recorded three podcasts !! My voice is literally hoarse LOL. One of them is live already: Adderall & Compliments. Annabelle DeSisto is a comedian who was on The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER Podcast a few months ago. Her podcast is pure girl talk & she is HYSTERICAL. I was literally holding in laugher the entire time. Check it out here. Happy listening!
++ for a similar post: read this on STRUGGLE, it’s one of my favorites.
SHOP THE POST: pink robe | socks | mug | white flowers
{ photos }
Totally agree! Especially with blogging and how much we put ourselves out there, it’s important to feel uncomfortable often! 🙂
BlondieInTheCity.com
It’s all part of the job! LOL! xx
Your home is so beautiful!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Thanks Charmaine! xx
Love this post! When I think about all the jobs I worked and hated just to earn money I get what you mean. You can handle discomfort as long as you are working towards something you really want. Thank you for sharing, I definitely want to try more things and shake things up a bit xxx
ALittleKiran | Bloglovin
Thanks babe! Heres to new adventures! xx
Love, love, love this post, Lauryn! I started featuring my boyfriend on my blog, and get sooooo uncomfortable taking couple photos with our photographer, but overall the photos really do look cute.
It’s all about growing and bringing new content, right!
xx Aubrey
http://the-coastalconfidence.com/
New and interesting content is SOOO important! Thanks for the support Aubrey! xx
yayyyyy!!!! I am about to give a speech in my public speaking course ABOUT this. <3 So much growth & evolving happens OUT of a comfort zone. love it.
xo
Good luck babe!! xx
LOVE this and I so believe it too! You have to take yourself outside of your comfort zone to make any kind of progress. If you do the same things you will get the same boring results. If things aren’t working- do the opposite! This time last year my husband and I were expecting our first child. We decided it would be a great idea to buy a business to run on the side, in addition to remodeling our home (ourselves) all while working full time jobs. Needless to say the baby came the month we closed on the business and it was nothing but a ball of uncomfortable-ness for both of us! But we made it through and it was the BEST thing that we have ever done!
Exactly! Congrats on the baby 🙂 xx
I couldn’t agree more with “being ready is an excuse.” I know I try so hard for things to be perfect and it took me years to finally commit to launching my blog. I’ve realized the imperfections and being uncomfortable are part of the learning curve. Thank you for the inspiration and keeping it real!
Yes exactly!! Thanks so much for the support Cherie! xx
Absolutely fantastic post, Lauryn. I specifically love the quote “the easier it looks, the harder it was”. It was also refreshing to hear what made you uncomfortable in the beginning & that being ready is an excuse. Putting my life online & public was really hard for me & tbh, I think it held me back, a LOT… so letting that balloon go was a milestone for me. Weirdly, it was nice to know I wasn’t alone. Also it gets tough, like you said, working & blogging full-time. I started a new series a bit out of my comfort zone {a cookbook club! but I started it with some intense recipes} & will take a LOT of discipline / sacrificing of weekends but I’m excited for it too. I love the emphasis on fueling your fear. I am bookmarking this to refer back to when that fear hits for a reminder. Thanks again for this! PS – those photos are stunning! x
Thanks so much Shannon! Good luck with your cookbook club! xx
It’s like you are able to read my mind. I am launching my business right now and it is very uncomfortable to put my work and personality (because really, that’s what it is) out there.
So helpful to know this is how it is, and should be embraced. Thank you!
T’elle
https://tellestickers.com/valentine.html
That’s awesome! You’re not alone in being uncomfortable with it. Just gotta go for it and remember you can’t make everyone like you! xx
Thank you for your insight Lauren, I’m currently launching a blog and each step of it makes me uncomfortable to be honest. Also, sometimes it gets to me when others don’t understand how much work it takes for everything to look effortless. Please keep being uncomfortable : )
Thank you for your insights Lauren! I’m currently in the process of launching a blog, and to be honest, all of it is making me uncomfortable. Also, sometimes I let it get to me when people don’t realize how much time and soul it takes to present a blog. Please keep being uncomfortable 🙂
I completely understand! It’s hard to get used to but it will get easier! xx
Love this Lauryn! I feel super uncomfortable with posting things on social media about my blog for whatever reason, so thank you for this post and the encouragement it brings. xx
Of course! Thanks for the support babe!! xx
oh my goodness…I reallllly needed to hear this. THANK YOU so much.
So glad you enjoyed it! xx
I absolutely love this!! It took me a while to realize that waiting to be “ready” for something is not how life works at all. Stepping outside of your comfort zone is definitely key to growth.
No one is ever “ready to do something that makes them uncomfortable. Just have to go for it! xx
yes yes yes.
For me being uncomfortable is going to more events, speaking more publicly and being myself 100% in each of them. I am trying to use my platform for conversation and growth and trying to make sure to do that always is a bit tough. but i completely agree with you!
hope the event was amazing.
xoxo
Krista
http://www.hundredblog.com
Thanks Krista! Public speaking can be SOOO hard! xx
I have been working on developing my blog the last couple weeks and i am extremely uncomfortable. Even right now commenting on this. I’ve always wanted to start a blog and when i finally decided to, all my ideas i had jumped right out of my heas as i started to design my site and get together everything i wanted to talk about. It made me super uncomfortable, but i keep pushing every week at getting something accomplished for it. I think being uncomfortable has helped me accomplish a lot in my life so far so i know that this is just another stepping stone.
So proud of you girl! Good luck with your blog 🙂 xx
This was just such a comfort, this week has felt like one huge obstacle after the next, student debt and long work hours and lots of school work. It feels so nice that someone I admire so greatly experienced difficulties, because your life does seem SO lovely. It gives me so much hope and motivation, seeing a person’s struggle when you already see their success.
SO glad you found this helpful Emily! Always remember that – it SEEMS so lovely. There is always behind the scenes stuff that doesn’t get shown. We all have our struggles. Good luck with everything & thanks for the support : ) xx
Beautifully written and so full of meaning. I completely agree, and it was such a pick-me up to stumble upon your post. Keep at it, you’re great!
AW so glad this helped you Silvia! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post & I appreciate all of the support! xx
Love these knee high socks! Gorgeous!
Such a poignant post. Always good to come across authentic blogs, thanks for sharing 🙂 x
Love this post! Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling asking myself – can I get any more uncomfortable!?!? Just opened an online boutique a few months ago and feel as if I wrote this post. Thanks for putting yourself out there, having the ability to relate to you through this post may allow me to get some sleep tonight! Excited to subscribe to your blog!
Best,
Steph
absolutely loved this post Lauryn. Leaving your blog feeling inspired and motivated to slay at life! xx
I love this. It’s so true, you can’t be successful without challenging yourself and being uncomfortable every day.
The climb to the top of the mountain is lonely, but the view is amazing!
When I first graduated university, I started interning at the Toronto Star. The internship lasted 3 months, and I had insomnia throughout it all. I was so uncomfortable, because my schedule changed from waking up at 10 a.m. and going to class in my pj’s to waking up at 6am…and getting home at 7pm. That 8-6 life made me so uncomfortable, not to mention that I didn’t see my friends everyday and rode on a subway for an hour. But, it helped me grow so much. I changed for the better due to all that uncomfort. Great blog!
This has to be one my favorite posts from you! So valuable! Thank you!! I needed this so much today!
Thank YOU for reading!