How To Make Face Bloat Magically Disappear…Thank God

Well, hi, hello! BONJOUR!

We are in France ( St. Tropez, specifically! ) for a little work…& A LOT of play. As I said on Instagram: Michael & I have a crush on the South of France. The people, the energy, & man oh man the food. So we decided to say FUCK IT & come live here for a month. We started in Monte Carlo, then Antibes, & Cannes for a few days. Now we are in a rented house in St. Tropez for a month- we are doing a revolving door where a bunch of our friends & family come visit to share the experience. SO you can expect a bunch of comedy…experience is everything! “To roam the roads of lands remote, TO TRAVEL IS TO LIVE.” Would LOVE any of your recommendations! You guys have been DM-ing some amazing recs but if you have more share, share! And of course, you know I’ll be snapping Susan’s craziness because YOU KNOW HE IS QUITE THE PLANNER.

The pasta here is unreal- it’s that good that it needs it’s notable mention. It’s always filled with all my movie star players: lemon, butter, basil, olive oil, garlic, cheese, sea salt ( sometimes a little chili flakes ). I’m very much good with that combo if I’m ever on Death Row. Pair it with some dry, crisp wine & we’re set. Speaking of pasta…& wine, it makes you fucking bloated.

Real bloated.

Which is one of the main reasons I always eat half AND for every alcoholic beverage, I drink a huge-ass glass of water or a cup of peppermint tea ( << which I swear helps so well with a hangover ).

When I’m in France I typically lose weight because I’m walking everywhere & simply don’t eat as much. I feel like it has to do with the humid weather & the fact that the food isn’t filled with chemicals. HOWEVER your face DOES bloat.  I attribute that to travel, the plane, maybe overindulging in pasta & wine…( can I live? ) or probably dehydration because of the weather.  Dehydration causes blood vessels to swell as it retains water, especially in the face, causing puffiness.

So if you’re going to ask someone about puffy face bloating, you came to the right place.

You know me! After a horrific double jaw surgery, I know my shit when it comes to puffy face bloating. But really, if you were swollen for two years – you’d be an expert too.

You have to watch the video first.

I’m so versed in facial swelling, I could write a book on the topic.

Let’s go even further: I’ve been wanting to do this post for a while. So, so long. I kept wanting to film a video but I haven’t gotten around to it- but I will, I will. The video will really break it down for you.

How To Make Face Bloat Disappear

SO THE TOPIC HERE? FACIAL MASSAGE.

Anyway, a few things: there are a few ways to go about facial massage to reduce puffiness.    1.) You can do it for free! This is what the video will be on. 2.) You can get a little handheld machine. I love mine! Sure, I have a facial brush but this is different guys. This is like a vibrator for your face. In fact, it sounds like a vibrator, kind of looks like one, maybe you could even…oh, we’re getting off track here. But it’s very efficient. 3.) Lastly you can also do what I always do: the second I land off a long flight, I haul my ass to the closest spa & get a lymphatic drainage massage.  Pick one that suits you in de puffing your face.  This works like a REAL charm. You go from swollen, Sloth from The Goonies to beauty pageant status.

We will touch on all three ways.

Way 1.) this needs to begin with a huge shout out to my makeup artist & friend, Jules Wick. Jules told me to watch this YouTube video when I was feeling EXTRA swollen in NYC. No joke, I spent 20 minutes doing the whole video & FELT 239743247 X better. So I swear by facial massage- I can’t even put makeup on without doing it now. Michael knows to give me an extra 10 minutes, at least, to do my everyday facial massage. It’s a thing now. I will do a video of how I do it ( maybe even on Snapchat or IG Stories ) to show you how easy & free it is. Warning: after you do this once, you will never go back to putting makeup on a bloated face. What happens here is it kind of drains the lymph system while rubbing out fine lines & wrinkles. I work A LOT around the eye area. A lot of people with dark circles or puffy eyes want filler- I’m telling you, you don’t even need it if you become a regular facial massager like me!

Next up, way 2.) this is something I’ve been experimenting with long enough to confidently say: IT WORKS. I’ve said it once & I’ll say it again- I really don’t like blogging about anything until I’ve tried it a lot. The integrity of The Skinny Confidential is important to me so I don’t want to half-ass recommend something that isn’t worth it. This little vibrating machine, is worth it. It’s not cheap- but I love it. This is the kind of investment I like. Some girls like their Louboutins, I like my facial massager. I’d rather have a tight, wrinkle-free face than cute shoes. But that’s just me. If you’re out there wondering how to get this device, ask for one for Christmas. By the way, this is not sponsored- just sincerely all about this massager. You go in little circles all over your face. I like to apply this organic oil before I do it. Always use it before you apply makeup & really concentrate around the eyes so you don’t have those puffy under circles. I go as far as to do my neck because it really helps with the lymphatic system. Even my chest sometimes- I’ll apply Vitamin C serum & use it on my chest at night. Regardless, it wakes you up & gets the circulation going. You will feel dewier, tighter, younger, etc.

To go further here, the device is described as: “a micro-firming massage device that smooths the look of fine lines and wrinkles, de bloat your face, boosts the absorption of your daily skin care products, and with 27,000 micro-firming massages per use, delivers a pleasurable ‘spa-like experience.”

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS. For all of you who are regular readers, this is something you will all DIE OVER. One of those products, that’s a real win.

There are other alternatives you can use on your face such as cucumber slices, green tea bag, or even a Jade Roller.  Soak them in cold water for a few minutes so it  retains cold temperatures before applying to your face.  These also helps improve circulation, reduce wrinkles, replenish your facial muscles & revitalize the elasticity of skin.

And last but not least, lymphatic drainage facial.  I said it in my other post and I’ll say it again, it’s been said to improve constrict blood vessels and reduces swelling.  This process also has anti inflammatory properties.  Ask your dermatologist dr if you want to know more.  Ask for one next time you get off a flight & you just won’t believe the results. They’re so fabulous. Have the facialist go down your neck too.  Full transparency: sometimes this requires a little explanation. You need to tell them you want a lymphatic drainage facial that helps fight bloat because you’ve been traveling. Also let them know you’re dehydrated because after a lot of travel you most likely are dried out.   Well the masseuse knew you will be drinking more water as a natural reaction after the lymph system drains, so is the body releasing toxins and excess fluid.  And lastly, tell them you’d love it if they also focused on your neck/chest. If you can’t tell, I never neglect my neck, chest, & hands. Paying attention to the face is great, but aging happens everywhere so PREVENTION IS KEY.

And that my friends is why I like facial massage. PREVENTATIVE MEASURES. BE PROACTIVE. NIP THAT SHIT IN THE BUD.

Don’t wait until you’re 50- prevent the wrinkles from happening.

If you can’t tell, SKIN IS IN. My skin is a priority. I take care of it every single day, a few times a day. It’s sort of like fitness but for skin. Wash your makeup off, wear SPF everywhere, do your facial massage, invest in a brightening serum ( remember we talked about this! ), & use your oils.

To be real if I can do one thing with The Skinny Confidential it’s to be a skin role model- I’m on a mission.

Questions? Happy to answer them- let me know below.

In the meantime, would you like a video on facial massage? I can do a mean finger facial massage. Ok, that sounds sexual?

We are off to Le Club 55 to enjoy some prosciutto & melon which I’m 100% sure will most likely swell my face up…thank God for facial massage.

Chat tomorrow, lauryn x

+ be sure to listen to the latest podcast with fitness guru, Kim Kelly. She is so savvy when it comes to working out & moving your ass!

++ for jet lag tips, check out Michael’s post– he knows his shit!

+++ MORE SKINCARE POSTS.

Lauryn’s MVP’s For Skin Care: