How To Make Face Bloat Magically Disappear…Thank God

December 14, 2017
by
LAURYN


Well, hi, hello! BONJOUR!

We are in France ( St. Tropez, specifically! ) for a little work…& A LOT of play. As I said on Instagram: Michael & I have a crush on the South of France. The people, the energy, & man oh man the food. So we decided to say FUCK IT & come live here for a month. We started in Monte Carlo, then Antibes, & Cannes for a few days. Now we are in a rented house in St. Tropez for a month- we are doing a revolving door where a bunch of our friends & family come visit to share the experience. SO you can expect a bunch of comedy…experience is everything! “To roam the roads of lands remote, TO TRAVEL IS TO LIVE.” Would LOVE any of your recommendations! You guys have been DM-ing some amazing recs but if you have more share, share! And of course, you know I’ll be snapping Susan’s craziness because YOU KNOW HE IS QUITE THE PLANNER.

The pasta here is unreal- it’s that good that it needs it’s notable mention. It’s always filled with all my movie star players: lemon, butter, basil, olive oil, garlic, cheese, sea salt ( sometimes a little chili flakes ). I’m very much good with that combo if I’m ever on Death Row. Pair it with some dry, crisp wine & we’re set. Speaking of pasta…& wine, it makes you fucking bloated.

Real bloated.

Which is one of the main reasons I always eat half AND for every alcoholic beverage, I drink a huge-ass glass of water or a cup of peppermint tea ( << which I swear helps so well with a hangover ).

When I’m in France I typically lose weight because I’m walking everywhere & simply don’t eat as much. I feel like it has to do with the humid weather & the fact that the food isn’t filled with chemicals. HOWEVER your face DOES bloat. I attribute that to travel, the plane, dehydration, & maybe overindulging in pasta & wine…( can I live? ).

So if you’re going to ask someone about face bloating, you came to the right place.

You know me! After a horrific double jaw surgery, I know my shit when it comes to face bloating. But really, if you were swollen for two years – you’d be an expert too.

You have to watch the video first.

I’m so versed in facial swelling, I could write a book on the topic.

Let’s go even further: I’ve been wanting to do this post for a while. So, so long. I kept wanting to film a video but I haven’t gotten around to it- but I will, I will. The video will really break it down for you.

SO THE TOPIC HERE? FACIAL MASSAGE.

Anyway, a few things: there’s a few ways to go about facial massage. 1.) You can do it for free! This is what the video will be on. 2.) You can get a little handheld machine. I love mine! Sure, I have a facial brush but this is different guys. This is like a vibrator for your face. In fact, it sounds like a vibrator, kind of looks like one, maybe you could even…oh, we’re getting off track here. But it’s very efficient. 3.) Lastly you can also do what I always do: the second I land off a long flight, I haul my ass to the closet spa & get a lymphatic drainage massage. This works like a REAL charm. You go from swollen, Sloth from The Goonies to beauty pageant status.

We will touch on all three ways.

Way 1.) this needs to begin with a huge shout out to my makeup artist & friend, Jules Wick. Jules told me to watch this YouTube video when I was feeling EXTRA swollen in NYC. No joke, I spent 20 minutes doing the whole video & FELT 239743247 X better. So I swear by facial massage- I can’t even put makeup on without doing it now. Michael knows to give me an extra 10 minutes, at least, to do my everyday facial massage. It’s a thing now. I will do a video of how I do it ( maybe even on Snapchat or IG Stories ) to show you how easy & free it is. Warning: after you do this once, you will never go back to putting makeup on a bloated face. What happens here is it kind of drains the lymph system while rubbing out fine lines & wrinkles. I work A LOT around the eye area. A lot of people with dark circles or puffy eyes want filler- I’m telling you, you don’t even need it if you become a regular facial massager like me!

Next up, way 2.) this is something I’ve been experimenting with long enough to confidently say: IT WORKS. I’ve said once & I’ll say it again- I really don’t like blogging about anything until I’ve tried it a lot. The integrity of The Skinny Confidential is important to me so I don’t want to half-ass recommend something that isn’t worth. This little vibrating machine, is worth it. It’s not cheap- but I love it. This is the kind of investment I like. Some girls like their Louboutins, I like my facial massager. I’d rather have a tight, wrinkle-free face than cute shoes. But that’s just me. If you’re out there wondering how to get this device, ask for one for Christmas. By the way, this is not sponsored- just sincerely all about this massager. You go in little circles all over your face. I like to apply this organic oil before I do it. Always use it before you apply makeup & really concentrate around the eyes so you don’t have those puffy under circles. I go as far as to do my neck because it really helps with the lymphatic system. Even my chest sometimes- I’ll apply Vitamin C serum & use it on my chest at night. Regardless, it wakes you up & gets the circulation going. You will feel dewier, tighter, younger, etc.

To go further here, the device is described as: “a micro-firming massage device that smooths the look of fine lines and wrinkles, boosts the absorption of your daily skin care products, and with 27,000 micro-firming massages per use, delivers a pleasurable ‘spa-like experience.”

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS. For all of you who are regular readers, this is something you will all DIE OVER. One of those products, that’s a real win.

And last but not least, lymphatic drainage facial. Ask for one next time you get off a flight & you just won’t believe the results. They’re so fabulous. Have the facialist go down your neck too. Full transparency: sometimes this requires a little explanation. You need to tell them you want a lympathic drainage facial that helps fight bloat because you’ve been traveling. Also let them know you’re dehydrated because after a lot of travel you most likely are dried out. And lastly, tell them you’d love it if they also focused on your neck/chest. If you can’t tell, I never neglect my neck, chest, & hands. Paying attention to the face is great, but aging happens everywhere so PREVENTION IS KEY.

And that my friends is why I like facial massage. PREVENTATIVE MEASURES. BE PROACTIVE. NIP THAT SHIT IN THE BUD.

Don’t wait until you’re 50- prevent the wrinkles from happening.

If you can’t tell, SKIN IS IN. My skin is a priority. I take care of it every single day, a few times a day. It’s sort of like fitness but for skin. Wash your makeup off, wear SPF everywhere, do your facial massage, invest in a brightening serum ( remember we talked about this! ), & use your oils.

To be real if I can do one thing with The Skinny Confidential it’s to be a skin role model- I’m on a mission.

Questions? Happy to answer them- let me know below.

In the meantime, would you like a video on facial massage? I can do a mean finger facial massage. Ok, that sounds sexual?

We are off to Le Club 55 to enjoy some prosciutto & melon which I’m 100% sure will most likely swell my face up…thank God for facial massage.

Chat tomorrow, lauryn x

+ be sure to listen to the latest podcast with fitness guru, Kim Kelly. She is so savvy when it comes to working out & moving your ass!

++ for jet lag tips, check out Michael’s post– he knows his shit!

+++ MORE SKINCARE POSTS.

Lauryn’s MVP’s For Skin Care:

OH, ALSO:

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  1. Mailoha

    ty for the post 🙂 so in the AM u wash face, apply serum, apply moisturizer/oil, massage, & then apply foundation? do u also massage in PM? if so – do u wash face, apply serum, apply moisturizer/oil, massage & then call it a night? thanks again and safe travels!!

    Reply
  2. Lola

    Hi Lauryn!

    Would you recomend first steaming your face and than massaging or the other way around?
    Also have you ever tried a derma roller?
    Love ur blog!
    xxx

    Reply
  3. Sav

    I too suffer from Fluffy Face after even the slightest indulgence. I got a jade roller but it hasn’t made a difference for me sadly. So frustrating because it can literally distort your whole face. Have you going any masks/sheet masks that help?! I feel like a de puffing mask should be on the market by now.

    Reply
  4. Magi

    Currently in Dubrovnik in Croatia and we spend a month out her with the family and the boyfriend is on his way and has never been out of the country so it’s his first time. This post was soooo on point for me because I feel the same way ! My fave feels bloated but agreed- enough Pinot grip every night and pasta will do that. But I’ve also experienced not eating as much as in the states and I believe that’s due to the lack of chemicals they have here rather than in the states. (I’m from Chicago)

    Love your posts! I would love to see how to go about doing a facial massage myself with my hands for the lymphic drainage. Or make my mom do it lol (she’s a licensed esthetician)

    Cheers! xx

    Reply
    1. Magi

      Also- have been catching up on all your posts and videos and in your latest video on YouTube you mentioned you would make a trip to Chicago! Please let us know when. I would love to do a meet and greet ! 🙂

  5. b

    Ahh thank you for this! Obsessed w anything to depuff face as mine gets so swollen due to allergic reactions/allergies! I’m obsessed w facial cupping also masks with clay bc they help too. Getting the clarisonic massage today! xx

    also loling bc anyone traveling w me also knows I need 20 extra min for my depuff routine hahaha

    Reply
  6. Nichelle

    Yes please do a video! Ever since I saw you doing facial massage on snapchat I was wondering how I can do one with my hands. The Clarisonic looks great but not for broke graduate students!!.

    Reply
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  8. massage chair

    use of massage oil at home keeps your body in shape and massage chair at home means having your personal massage chair and you will relax your body and mind both at your home

    Reply
  9. Veronica

    THANK YOU for this. I am in Italy with severe pasta/wine bloat. Definitely not eating half portions like you. I will work on it!

    Reply
  10. Caroline

    Lauryn!! Hi I have a situation. And I need your help. I am going to a wedding next weekend that I have to fly cross country to get to. And I also somehow got fat. And have to be in a dress in 10 days. Oh and my ex boyfriend will be there with his new girlfriend. I’m trying not to beat myself up too much but I mean cmon how did I let this happen. So basically I know there is no miracle to make me skinny and beautiful again in 10 days but I was hoping you had some advice. Like what can I do in this 10 days?? Are there treatments I should try to get this week before I go? And a treatment after I fly to the wedding destination? I’m looking into booking a lymphatic drainage massage and facial when I land (thanks for that tip!)… and maybe some kind of body wrap?? I have no idea. Help. I booked a spray tan I think that will help some. Would really appreciate any advice. Do you have a regimen when you have a big event coming up? Or like a 911 fuck I got fat detox? I will obviously be packing spanx & chugging water, but I am worried about my arms especially they are like soft and flabby and just not looking so hot. I’m going to do some searching around TSC but would appreciate some expert advice! Thank you xxxx

    Reply
  11. Cami

    Yesss love this idea!! I need to get one of these! Any suggestions for massagers for other parts of the body like the legs?! My thighs could really use something like this! Haha 😂 thank you!

    Reply
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  14. marcella

    Also a hack I got from my skin lady, if you don’t have a roller, you can use ice cubes. Just take a couple ice cubes and rub them all over, sometimes if they are too cold for your hands you cover part with a washcloth to keep your hands from directly touching them.

    Reply
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