MORE JAW DRAMA…LIKE IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING

MICHAEL SAID IF HE HEARS THE WORD JAW ONE MORE TIME WE MAY DIVORCE.

Lol.

But seriously, I am sick of it too. Such a drag.

So basically as you guys know, I had double jaw surgery about 4-ish years ago. Well, recently I realized that my lymphatic system in my face wasn’t draining properly- this was causing me to swell up like a balloon any time I stepped on a plane, traveled to higher altitude, &/or drank too much alcohol. Even salt! Like forget it- one too many grams of salt & I was immediately Fat Bastard.

I was over it. Personally, I became convinced that the reason I was swelling so much was because of the screws & plates in my face. I mean it can’t be GOOD for you to have metal in your face blocking your flow. My acupuncturist told me this too- he said the screws/plates from double jaw surgery were JUST BAD. Especially because it goes against everything Chinese medicine says.

So I said to myself “fuck it- I want this shit out!”

{ MY JAW SITUATION }

If you can’t tell, when I get my head stuck on something, I get my head stuck on something. I couldn’t let it go.

So I found a jaw surgeon in LA ( as you know we recently moved from San Diego to Los Angeles ) & immediately booked an appointment. It all went well. We didn’t remove every single screw but the majority of them. Immediately after surgery I SWELLED RIGHT THE FUCK UP. Which is to be expected- it happens after an invasive surgery. But now, 3 weeks later, I am feeling better…& I should add: more contoured & less swollen than before the surgery. WHICH WE LOVE.

You could definitely say it was a success…& I am convinced my theory was right.

Anyway, so that’s my jaw drama. & while we are at it- let’s talk tips to fight inflammation because boy I am the fucking queen of that. AHEM:

♡ Watermelon juice!!!

Watermelon juice was my main request because it’s non-acidic. I like to add a TON of lime too. Lime is acidic but turns alkaline in the body. So watermelon x lime is just fucking gold. I’ve been downing it like a sorority sister downs Jungle Juice at a frat mixer. Watermelon juice is just perfect in every way. Go for the juicy red flesh at the center of a watermelon because it’s the only nutrient-rich area, forget the white part. The white part sucks, kinda. Some other benefits: watermelon is great for blood flow, it’s anti-inflammatory ( perfect for surgery ), & has TONS of vitamins and minerals. ALSO IT’S A DIURETIC. Cleans you out. Bottoms up!

♡ Next up, Mr. raw coconut juice.

I like this baby for its electrolytes. Raw coconut water is filled with electrolytes which REALLY boosts hydration. Hydration is key in sickness recovery. I always search for the pink coconut waters because supposedly they contain more antioxidants. This one is my favorite brand by far! Love it when it’s a baby pink mixture ( this happens only sometimes depending on the coconuts they get ).

♡ Heyyyy Kefir!

Since I had to take some more antibiotics for this surgery, I needed something with probiotics to coat my stomach. This kefir smoothie makes all the difference. Kefir is a whole different blog post but basically it’s “a sour-tasting drink made from cow’s milk fermented with certain bacteria. Also, a great source of probiotic bacteria and yeast, and requires daily maintenance, if using milk kefir grains. It is generally more sour in flavor and of a pourable consistency. Milk kefir may also be used in many, many recipes.” When I take antibiotics I ALWAYS balance it out with a probiotic. This is why kefir is amaze; it balances the antibiotic out by promoting good bacteria. This smoothie is simple. Nothing crazy because I definitely don’t want to shock my system.

♡♡♡ TSC Kefir Probiotic Smoothie

1 banana
1 cup kefir
Handful of kale
1 splash almond milk
Handful of ice
Top with cinnamon ( << an anti-inflammatory )

Directions: blend. Garnish with cinnamon & cheers!

♡ Now let’s talk about liquid gold!

A full blown Vitamin C juice!! My favorite…orange/carrot/ginger/turmeric. SO healing for the system when you’re in recovery ( or on any day ). The orange relieves constipation, is full of potassium, & again, turns alkaline in the system ( so it’s essentially NON acidic ). The crunchy powerfood carrot does wonders: they’re full of fiber & literally flush nasty-ass toxins from the body. SO cleansing. Ginger, one of my favorites, is a real life saver because it takes away nausea. And typically surgery brings on nausea, yuck. Ginger also reduces gas, has a warming effect, & stimulates circulation. Lastly turmeric root!!! My home girl. Turmeric ( like real turmeric. Ever seen it at the grocery store? It looks like a sick bug. You can actually buy it online too ) is the shit in juices. Turmeric root is INSANE for inflammation. I’ve been shooting it in shot glasses #rebel.

♡ ICE ROLL THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR FACE.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been doing ice facials since Sonja Morgan from RHONY recommended them after a brutal hangover circa 2014-ish when noble Countess Luann was yelling at Heather Yummie Tummie about being ‘uncool.’ It really wasn’t until my brutal jaw surgery that I discovered the IT beauty tip of 2016 ( AKA MY LIFE LINE ). IT FIGHTS INFLAMMATION- I DO IT EVERY MORNING. TRUST ME.

Let me set the scene, years ago: I was actively perusing Amazon ( SHOCKING, this is something I do on the regular ) & was searching ‘jaw surgery book.’ Weirdly, an ice roller popped up.

So I was like, “umm, yes. This will make life easier PLUS give me a little lymphatic drainage while I’m rolling downward on my swollen jaw.”

Added to cart……..& then shit, the rest is history.

Not only did I fall absolutely HEAD OVER HEELS in love with my ice roller , I also entered into a committed relationship with my ice roller. Like I said: I use it every ( EVERY ) day, once sometimes twice a day for as long as it’s cold ( usually 2 to 3 minutes per time ). In fact, I’m grumpy if I don’t get to use it first thing in the AM! Bye swelling.

♡ Lastly: TEA.

This one isn’t really too healthy but it’s keeping me refreshed. I get a large Starbucks iced green tea with two splashes of passion fruit & no sweetener. Obviously this isn’t like organic, homegrown, gold star tea BUT it’s cold on my throat & feels good, plus it forces me to drink more water. And well, I just like it. Also, I’ve definitely been sneaking some mint chocolate chip ice cream because ‘help me, I’m sick.’ If you’re so healthy, lucky you, drink organic Numi green tea & skip the iced Starbucks.

♡ Oh, & another one not pictured:

I HAVE BEEN GULPING OWL VENICE BONE BROTH IN DISGUSTING AMOUNTS. I’ve been told it’s the best thing you can put in your system BEFORE & AFTER surgery. I add lemon & seriously GULP, GULP, GULP. A post on the broth can be found here.

ALSO: using Valor oil, taking massive amounts of arnica & turmeric ( I AM OBSESSED WITH TRUVANI’S TURMERIC TABLETS because they’re real deal turmeric with black pepper- I take them all the time ), using TONS OF ICE for ice facials ( which has helped me the most, especially this specific ice roller ), dry brushing, detoxing, juicing, applying real aloe vera/raw coconut oil, & also I’m really trying to avoid salt. ANY OTHER TIPS? Please share.

Before we go I also want to discuss pros of having double jaw surgery in the first place because it seems like it’s been an on-going thing. Also this is important because I receive a lot of DM’s on questions about the initial surgery:

SO, PROS OF MY JAW SURGERY:

+ I feel balanced now. I felt out of whack/alignment for my whole life. Towards the end I started to get used to being uncomfortable. Now I feel at peace. This is me now ( still have a long way to go, but this is without photo editing & no makeup- you can’t edit on Snapchat ). Swollen still, but coming down.

+ I haven’t been grinding my teeth AT ALL. This is huge for me because I’ve been grinding my teeth every night of my life to the point where Michael couldn’t sleep.

+ I haven’t snored once. This is another big one because I sounded like a freaking wildebeest when I was sleeping. Now I sleep like a baby without waking up in the middle of night…& Michael can sleep peacefully. This is AMAZING.

+ My bite fits together. Before I could only chew on one side of my mouth & my bite never fit together. Now my teeth fit together like a perfect puzzle piece & my mid-line is on point.

+ No more headaches, cracking my neck, or anxiety around my neck. I would also try to fix my bite myself by holding my jaw in the proper place. Because the issue was skeletal, it put major anxiety in my shoulders & neck. This feeling is gone, gone, gone.

+ Michael has literally seen me at my lowest point looks-wise, so I’m thinking he’s a keeper….LOL.

+ Lastly, my cheekbones look a little higher. A vain plus, but hey it’s a plus.

So that’s that. Thought I would share the process with you guys because you know I like to get specific.

I am off to eat a sourdough peanut butter & jelly sandwich because I got food poisoning last night. The culprit was either bad shrimp or bad cauliflower rice- you decide. If anyone has any food poisoning tips, I am all ears because man, do I feel queasy. Like I said- it’s always something! LOL.

HOPE YOU’RE ALL HAVING A PRODUCTIVE WEEK. See you tomorrow, lauryn x

+ to read more about my jaw surgery experience check out my other jaw surgery posts: still swollen | jaw surgery | finding energy after surgery

++ for more posts on how to recover from jaw surgery: facial massage | Gua Sha | cryotherapy | how to lymphatic drainage