MORE JAW DRAMA…LIKE IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING

by
LAURYN

MICHAEL SAID IF HE HEARS THE WORD JAW ONE MORE TIME WE MAY DIVORCE.

Lol.

But seriously, I am sick of it too. Such a drag.

So basically as you guys know, I had double jaw surgery about 4-ish years ago. Well, recently I realized that my lymphatic system in my face wasn’t draining properly- this was causing me to swell up like a balloon any time I stepped on a plane, traveled to higher altitude, &/or drank too much alcohol. Even salt! Like forget it- one too many grams of salt & I was immediately Fat Bastard.

I was over it. Personally, I became convinced that the reason I was swelling so much was because of the screws & plates in my face. I mean it can’t be GOOD for you to have metal in your face blocking your flow. My acupuncturist told me this too- he said the screws/plates from double jaw surgery were JUST BAD. Especially because it goes against everything Chinese medicine says.

So I said to myself “fuck it- I want this shit out!”

{ MY JAW SITUATION }

If you can’t tell, when I get my head stuck on something, I get my head stuck on something. I couldn’t let it go.

So I found a jaw surgeon in LA ( as you know we recently moved from San Diego to Los Angeles ) & immediately booked an appointment. It all went well. We didn’t remove every single screw but the majority of them. Immediately after surgery I SWELLED RIGHT THE FUCK UP. Which is to be expected- it happens after an invasive surgery. But now, 3 weeks later, I am feeling better…& I should add: more contoured & less swollen than before the surgery. WHICH WE LOVE.

You could definitely say it was a success…& I am convinced my theory was right.

Anyway, so that’s my jaw drama. & while we are at it- let’s talk tips to fight inflammation because boy I am the fucking queen of that. AHEM:

♡ Watermelon juice!!!

Watermelon juice was my main request because it’s non-acidic. I like to add a TON of lime too. Lime is acidic but turns alkaline in the body. So watermelon x lime is just fucking gold. I’ve been downing it like a sorority sister downs Jungle Juice at a frat mixer. Watermelon juice is just perfect in every way. Go for the juicy red flesh at the center of a watermelon because it’s the only nutrient-rich area, forget the white part. The white part sucks, kinda. Some other benefits: watermelon is great for blood flow, it’s anti-inflammatory ( perfect for surgery ), & has TONS of vitamins and minerals. ALSO IT’S A DIURETIC. Cleans you out. Bottoms up!

♡ Next up, Mr. raw coconut juice.

I like this baby for its electrolytes. Raw coconut water is filled with electrolytes which REALLY boosts hydration. Hydration is key in sickness recovery. I always search for the pink coconut waters because supposedly they contain more antioxidants. This one is my favorite brand by far! Love it when it’s a baby pink mixture ( this happens only sometimes depending on the coconuts they get ).

♡ Heyyyy Kefir!

Since I had to take some more antibiotics for this surgery, I needed something with probiotics to coat my stomach. This kefir smoothie makes all the difference. Kefir is a whole different blog post but basically it’s “a sour-tasting drink made from cow’s milk fermented with certain bacteria. Also, a great source of probiotic bacteria and yeast, and requires daily maintenance, if using milk kefir grains. It is generally more sour in flavor and of a pourable consistency. Milk kefir may also be used in many, many recipes.” When I take antibiotics I ALWAYS balance it out with a probiotic. This is why kefir is amaze; it balances the antibiotic out by promoting good bacteria. This smoothie is simple. Nothing crazy because I definitely don’t want to shock my system.

♡♡♡ TSC Kefir Probiotic Smoothie

1 banana
1 cup kefir
Handful of kale
1 splash almond milk
Handful of ice
Top with cinnamon ( << an anti-inflammatory )

Directions: blend. Garnish with cinnamon & cheers!

♡ Now let’s talk about liquid gold!

A full blown Vitamin C juice!! My favorite…orange/carrot/ginger/turmeric. SO healing for the system when you’re in recovery ( or on any day ). The orange relieves constipation, is full of potassium, & again, turns alkaline in the system ( so it’s essentially NON acidic ). The crunchy powerfood carrot does wonders: they’re full of fiber & literally flush nasty-ass toxins from the body. SO cleansing. Ginger, one of my favorites, is a real life saver because it takes away nausea. And typically surgery brings on nausea, yuck. Ginger also reduces gas, has a warming effect, & stimulates circulation. Lastly turmeric root!!! My home girl. Turmeric ( like real turmeric. Ever seen it at the grocery store? It looks like a sick bug. You can actually buy it online too ) is the shit in juices. Turmeric root is INSANE for inflammation. I’ve been shooting it in shot glasses #rebel.

♡ ICE ROLL THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR FACE.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been doing ice facials since Sonja Morgan from RHONY recommended them after a brutal hangover circa 2014-ish when noble Countess Luann was yelling at Heather Yummie Tummie about being ‘uncool.’ It really wasn’t until my brutal jaw surgery that I discovered the IT beauty tip of 2016 ( AKA MY LIFE LINE ). IT FIGHTS INFLAMMATION- I DO IT EVERY MORNING. TRUST ME.

Let me set the scene, years ago: I was actively perusing Amazon ( SHOCKING, this is something I do on the regular ) & was searching ‘jaw surgery book.’ Weirdly, an ice roller popped up.

So I was like, “umm, yes. This will make life easier PLUS give me a little lymphatic drainage while I’m rolling downward on my swollen jaw.”

Added to cart……..& then shit, the rest is history.

Not only did I fall absolutely HEAD OVER HEELS in love with my ice roller ( I use the white roller with a blue handle ), I also entered into a committed relationship with my ice roller. Like I said: I use it every ( EVERY ) day, once sometimes twice a day for as long as it’s cold ( usually 2 to 3 minutes per time ). In fact, I’m grumpy if I don’t get to use it first thing in the AM! Bye swelling.

♡ Lastly: TEA.

This one isn’t really too healthy but it’s keeping me refreshed. I get a large Starbucks iced green tea with two splashes of passion fruit & no sweetener. Obviously this isn’t like organic, homegrown, gold star tea BUT it’s cold on my throat & feels good, plus it forces me to drink more water. And well, I just like it. Also, I’ve definitely been sneaking some mint chocolate chip ice cream because ‘help me, I’m sick.’ If you’re so healthy, lucky you, drink organic Numi green tea & skip the iced Starbucks.

♡ Oh, & another one not pictured:

I HAVE BEEN GULPING OWL VENICE BONE BROTH IN DISGUSTING AMOUNTS. I’ve been told it’s the best thing you can put in your system BEFORE & AFTER surgery. I add lemon & seriously GULP, GULP, GULP. A post on the broth can be found here.

ALSO: using Valor oil, taking massive amounts of arnica & turmeric ( I AM OBSESSED WITH TRUVANI’S TURMERIC TABLETS because they’re real deal turmeric with black pepper- I take them all the time ), using TONS OF ICE for ice facials ( which has helped me the most, especially this specific ice roller ), dry brushingdetoxingjuicing, applying real aloe vera/raw coconut oil, & also I’m really trying to avoid salt. ANY OTHER TIPS? Please share.

Before we go I also want to discuss pros of having double jaw surgery in the first place because it seems like it’s been an on-going thing. Also this is important because I receive a lot of DM’s on questions about the initial surgery:

SO, PROS OF MY JAW SURGERY:

+ I feel balanced now. I felt out of whack/alignment for my whole life. Towards the end I started to get used to being uncomfortable. Now I feel at peace. This is me now ( still have a long way to go, but this is without photo editing & no makeup- you can’t edit on Snapchat ). Swollen still, but coming down.

+ I haven’t been grinding my teeth AT ALL. This is huge for me because I’ve been grinding my teeth every night of my life to the point where Michael couldn’t sleep.

+ I haven’t snored once. This is another big one because I sounded like a freaking wildebeest when I was sleeping. Now I sleep like a baby without waking up in the middle of night…& Michael can sleep peacefully. This is AMAZING.

+ My bite fits together. Before I could only chew on one side of my mouth & my bite never fit together. Now my teeth fit together like a perfect puzzle piece & my mid-line is on point.

+ No more headaches, cracking my neck, or anxiety around my neck. I would also try to fix my bite myself by holding my jaw in the proper place. Because the issue was skeletal, it put major anxiety in my shoulders & neck. This feeling is gone, gone, gone.

+ Michael has literally seen me at my lowest point looks-wise, so I’m thinking he’s a keeper….LOL.

+ Lastly, my cheekbones look a little higher. A vain plus, but hey it’s a plus.

So that’s that. Thought I would share the process with you guys because you know I like to get specific.

I am off to eat a sourdough peanut butter & jelly sandwich because I got food poisoning last night. The culprit was either bad shrimp or bad cauliflower rice- you decide. If anyone has any food poisoning tips, I am all ears because man, do I feel queasy. Like I said- it’s always something! LOL.

HOPE YOU’RE ALL HAVING A PRODUCTIVE WEEK. See you tomorrow, lauryn x

+ to read more about my jaw surgery experience check out my other jaw surgery posts: still swollen | jaw surgery | finding energy after surgery

++ for more posts on how to recover from jaw surgery: facial massage | Gua Sha | cryotherapyhow to lymphatic drainage

18 comments | Leave a Comment +

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  1. AvatarAndrea Atilano

    Thank you for posting about your second surgery! I haven’t had jaw surgery, but i have occasional TMJ, and I know your inflammation tips will help! <3. Shit, I want higher cheekbones, LOL!

    Reply
  2. AvatarJessy

    omg damnnn what a process!! must’ve been awful. but glad you’re much better now 🙂
    feel better on the food poisoning too! drink lots of fluids! (yes mum) hahaha

    dorky-and-weird.blogspot.com

    xoxo <3

    Reply
  3. AvatarKim

    For food poisoning – Grapefruit seed extract! Got food poisoning while on vacation. Had forgotten all the great things it can do. Remembered it while everyone else was out having fun and had hubby pick some up from the store. It’s wonderful and we keep a bottle for the house and one for travel. Was going to meet husband’s boss for the first time and dinner at his house. Dreading it because I looked like month old roadkill. Not good. Within two hours of taking the GSE, was actually hungry and able to keep down fluids and a tiny bit of rice. Next day had a full recovery. Hope you feel better soon.

    Reply
  4. AvatarCassandra King

    I also had jaw surgery and I have screws and plates in my face too!! I didn’t even think about his that could be affecting my face so much, and it never even crossed my mind to have them removed! I’m going to look into it now 😊

    Reply
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  6. AvatarTracy

    My fiancé had double jaw surgery two years ago and is still dealing with swelling issues. Plus he can actually feel a couple of the screws. That’s our next step, a consult about getting hardware removed. Thanks for being so open about your journey with this!

    Reply
  7. AvatarDane

    I just had double jaw surgery (MMA) last month and read the one from 2015 and this one… I have so many questions for you… the first being how long until you could have pizza again?? JK but really. I’m so tired of smoothies and scrambled eggs. Also. I didn’t know the screws could come out at some point. Did you consult your original surgeon before taking them out? Are you worried your jaw will move without them?

    Reply
  8. AvatarAlex

    Do you have tmj? Was this apart of the reason for your surgeries. I have pretty bad tmj with grinding so bad that my teeth are shorter then they should be. I have a lot of pain and wore head guard for years in childhood. My teeth have shifted since I got dental work and braces in my teens and now my pain and grinding is getting worse. Do you have any recommendations?

    Reply
  9. AvatarHeather David

    It’s good to hear that you’re doing good and that you are recovering fast. Last year, I had a nose job last year and fortunately, it went well. I’ve always wanted to undergo a jaw surgery, but, I am to scared to do it. Although I am considering to try it before the years ends. With these tips you shared, I may have the confidence to try it without having to worry about swelling. Thanks for sharing this post! I love everything you said here.

    Reply
  10. AvatarBrenna

    I have literally dealt with all of these issues since I was 6!! Not one doctor has ever told me it was my jaw! I had cat scans for my head aches. Chiro Appointments every so often ( I don’t have time to go as much as I probably should). My dentist recommended a mouth guard at night. (Yuck!! Slobber Monster) and that my bite was off & that braces would help. My parents said no to getting them bc my teeth are straight without braces. Which is understandable who wants to pay 5000 for a kid with straight teeth? How did you find out you needed this surgery!? What doctor told you this is what you needed? I’d love to talk to him or her! Hope you see this & can respond 💕

    Reply