I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while but it’s a big one & a tad overwhelming, if you know what I mean?
One of the top three things I get asked about is BOOBS.
Specifically BOOB JOBS.
GASP OMG WHAT.
I’m totally not afraid to tackle the subject, it’s just a long post that requires me to get personal.
( Also, my grandma reads my blog. UGH ).
First off, I don’t share every single thing on social media. I like to pick and choose what I share so I can maintain sanity & some level of privacy. But I feel like this is one of those subjects that needs to have a little conversation. Especially since there are so many young people getting plastic surgery now-a-days.
Plus, it’s obvious that I have big boobs so it’s not like I’m sharing life shattering information. Maybe this is against blogger code to talk about boobs but I frankly could care less ( & besides, talking about fashion & lipstick starts to become a real bore after a while )— & it’s not like we haven’t discussed butthole enemas, camel toes, vagina steaming, & Kegels already sooooo….
Might as well talk about boobs.
Let’s take it back to when I was 18, shall we?
Here’s the history: I’m not stick skinny. I’m not a 6 foot model. I have an ass. I have hips. AND I HAD ( AND HAVE ) BOOBS.
I started with a B cup. Not too bad right? But ever since I can remember ( I’m talking like 9th grade ) I’ve wanted bigger boobs. It was weird. My friends from high school would tell you I just always wanted bigger boobs. Not boobs like Real Housewives Tamara circa 2010. More like more voluptuous, voluminous boobs. I wanted my boobs in proportion to my hips.
So at 15-ish I decided I wanted a boob job. I didn’t tell anyone that I was saving.
You guys I saved, & saved, & saved.
I worked as a hostess and later on in high school, at a local boutique. I put half of what I earned aside.
I babysat, I picked up tiny modeling gigs, I helped out at a local news station.
And I saved for like, four years.
So obviously the second I graduated high school, I met with a friend’s dad who was a plastic surgeon. After that I went around & met with three other doctors. I liked my friend’s dad best ( & honestly he gave me a great price ) so I emptied my bank account & paid the doctor five thousand dollars on June 16th.
I did this all by myself without telling anyone, which is so me & not the smartest? But I was determined, stubborn & driven to do what I wanted to do.
A few days before surgery I told my parents. They were UGH about it. But they couldn’t do anything. I was 18 and paying for it myself. My poor parents.
Totally not knowing what to expect ( & not the healthiest human on the planet ), I stocked up on Top Ramen ( ouch ) & FLIPZ chocolate covered pretzels. I even invested in a brown Juicy Couture jumpsuit because it was comfortable & very chic at the moment. I don’t know why I’m sharing all these details, I just feel like they really set the scene of where I was in life.
To make decisions on sizing, I researched for hours online. Again, I was a full B & didn’t want to go huge. I was at first going to go with 250 CC ( which is really not that big ) but settled on 300 CC’s. I really, really looked at a million pictures & weighed my options with the doctor. Together we decided it was best for me to go through the nipple ( to get very detailed, he only cut a half moon ( so there’s a small, tiny scar only under the nipple ) & under the muscle, not over because I was very specific about NOT wanting Tori Spelling boobs ( no offense Tori ). I also explained that I DID NOT WANT BOLT ONS. I chose saline over silicone because at that time silicone was being recalled. Saline is water so if it pops in the body, the body absorbs it. At the time silicone was known as a very dangerous chemical.
What I wanted were boobs that I could play up, or play down, you know? So people could never look at me immediately & be like ‘BOOB JOB FOR SURE.’ I wanted like ‘did she or didn’t she’ boobs.
Anyway, the day before the surgery I picked up some prescribed antibiotics & pain killers with the extra money leftover in my savings account.
And on June 30th, my dad’s birthday ( sorry dad ), I had my ex-boyfriend of 5 years ( BF at the time though ) drive me to the surgeon’s early in the morning because hey, I had a birthday dinner to celebrate that night, ( IMMATURE/NAIVE MUCH? ). He dropped me off & that was that. IV in the arm, passed out, woke up…& I had boobs.
My ex picked me up, dropped me off at home, & 2 hours later I was drugged up lying under an umbrella by the pool, head to toe in Juicy. CHIC.
When you get a boob job they wrap you in like this white sort of tape, so I was wrapped in that. And for the record, I did make Daddy’s birthday…eer, happy birthday?
The night of the surgery, I was fine, went to bed. All good.
The next three days were tough.
It sort of felt like I had weight on my chest. And I couldn’t sleep. I am not a big pill popper. I don’t like pills. Because 1.) they make you constipated and 2.) I don’t like how they make me feel. So I sort of weened off the Vicodin quickly.
I am sensitive. Whenever I get anesthesia I get depressed afterwards. Sometimes the body reacts funny to it and I remember being SO, SO depressed. It was so weird. I wanted the boobs OUT. Yes, I wanted them like to be taken out. Keep in mind this was also 4th of July. I just got out of high school, everyone was celebrating, & I was in bed dealing with boobs.
Because I was depressed, I read. I read every book I could possibly get my hands on. I remember being up at 4 AM reading “EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS FAKE & I’M PERFECT” by Janice Dickinson ( she is the bitchiest, most hilarious author ever ).
Overall the experience was weird. I just remember feeling weird. I called my dad crying, begging him to help me pay for a surgery to remove the implants. He said no, & I would basically have to figure it out. INDEPENDENCE LESSON. STICKING TO YOUR DECISION LESSON. OWNING YOUR CHOICES LESSON.
Basically 18 year old lessons everywhere.
Two weeks later I was fine. I calmed the F down. But my boobs were pretty big. Like I could rest a champagne glass on them. I actually ended up modeling for Maxim magazine & they looked too big for my liking in the shoot ( but I guess totally acceptable for a Maxim college girl ).
Fast forward to today, & they’ve settled. BIG time. No more bolt ons.
Here’s what I think people should know about boob implants:
1.) When you first get them they’re huge & feel too big. You think “oh no I went too big.”
2.) And then…they settle. Meaning they sort of go down. And you’re like “oh no I went too small.”
3.) In my opinion, going a little bigger than you think you want is good ( if you’re more conservative, like me ) because after they settle you kind wish they were a little bigger because you become used to bigger tits.
4.) I prefer a dropped boob more than a Housewife tit. It’s sort of that natural shaped breast with a little more OOMPH.
5.) After many years ( aka where I’m at today ), you won’t even think about them. I think about my boobs only when I’m asked about them. They sort of settle in with your body. I’m very happy with the size boob I have now. In fact, they’re especially fun in a swimsuit & make me feel womanly ( again, my body, my opinion, everyone has different bodies/shapes/opinions & not that I didn’t feel womanly before, but they sort of enhance that feeling for me ).
6.) People will talk. After I got my boobs done people would talk shit. They would say “omg she got her boobs done!!” Like it was some secret & YES I KNOW I GOT MY BOOBS DONE, I ACTUALLY WENT UNDER THE KNIFE. For the record, it was also crystal clear because I had bigger boobs. It sort of didn’t take a scientist to come to the conclusion I got my boobs done, you know? I didn’t do it for anyone except myself.
7.) Research size, saline or silicone, your doctor, & the full scope of the surgery before committing to anything.
8.) NIPPLES. If your nipples are large, expect your nipples to look larger because they’re being stretched. I’m a firm believer that part of the way they look after has not only to do with the surgeon, but the way your boobs looked before the surgery. Think of it as a balloon. When a balloon blows up, it stretches.
9.) Looking back, I should have waited until I was 21. 18 was maybe a tad too young for me.
10.) DO IT FOR YOU. In my opinion, you should do the surgery for you & no one else but you.
** By the way, a boob job is NOTHING, LIKE A FLEA, WALK IN THE PARK, LAUGH compared to jaw surgery.
Another question I get asked is: How do they feel? They feel like a boob. I wish you guys could feel them through the computer HAHAHA. I mean, in all honestly if you really, really tried to feel the actual implant, you probably could. But I feel ( << see what I did there? ) like mine feel pretty real. I guess you’ll have to ask Michael that question. He felt my boobs pre boob job ( 8th grade #TBT ) AND post boob job so I feel like he’s sort of a connoisseur.
Oh & before anyone hops to conclusions about how I’m a hypocrite because of my healthy lifestyle & blah, blah, blah….
CONSIDER THIS: The reason I love wellness so much today is because my journey has paved this path to health. I am a firm believer that my past experiences have shaped my life today. Each & every experience has lead me to share the importance of wellness, health, & balance. Without having ‘stuff’ or adversity or challenges, life would be a real bore.
If I were to sit here and say “I’m Miss Perfect who’s been healthy my whole life & never done anything wrong”, that would be pretty damn boring too. LIKE YAWN, YAWN, YAWN.
I’m here to say: I’ve been down & I’ve gotten up. I’ve been unhealthy & I became healthy. I’ve gotten a boob job & here’s what I learned.
This isn’t an excuse, it’s the truth.
Also, getting boobies taught me a few lessons; this sounds weird but wanting something for so long & putting my own money together to get it, taught me the following: 1.) how to make my own money for something I really wanted, 2.) the drive to get what I wanted when I wanted it on my own terms, & 3.) patience because well, shit. I had to save for 4 years.
Ok so would I get a boob job today?
I don’t know. Probably, yes. I think I would. But I’d certainly do more research, eat healthier after surgery, & talk more to my family members/friends than when I was 18.
Oh & honestly, after I have a baby I’ll probably have to get new implants.
Everyone says you have to get new ones after ten years, but I’ve talked to a lot of plastic surgeons who say otherwise. I think everyone is different & you should do what works for you. Personally, I’m not going to get to that ten year mark & be like “OMG IT’S BEEN 10 YEARS, I NEED NEW IMPLANTS.” Because well, if it’s not broken don’t fix it.
Trying to be as transparent as possible here because I’ve gotten A LOT of questions & want to make sure I’m being real.
If you want a boob job, do not base your journey off mine. You do you. AGAIN, everyone is different.
What I love most about my boob job: I can play them up ( like WHOA, Victoria’s Secret bombshell push-up bra ) or play them down ( to the point where no one even notices really ). I like having options.
Ok, PHEW, if there are more questions, leave them below & I will do a Q & A with your name and question soon.
AND if any of you have implants, weigh in— what has your experience been like? Anyone have any tips, recovery tricks, or things I missed?
I really hope that this post sheds light on something that no one wants to ever talk about: plastic surgery! If this post did nothing for you, sorry, I’ll post some recipes soon ; ).
p.s. for the record, Michael really, really likes them too. HA!
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