Last week ( May 21st ) it was my birthday & I love to do a post every single year to reflect on what I’ve learned in hopes that it provides you value, obviously.
This post is straight to the point & clear. It was a big year because I really toned down my chaos. Typically, I’m a chaotic person & I come from a chaotic childhood. This year I drowned it out with more peace, less cortisol, & a different mindset. If you follow me on Instagram Stories, you know that stoicism has been a big theme. I read a page of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday every day & it’s been truly life-changing. ( >>> If you get the book, be sure to start on the exact date, & not the first page of the book. ) More on stoicism below.
Before we get started, I want to say thank you for all your DMs & comments. I love love LOVE you guys. Speaking of loving… let’s get to #1.
But wait…. can this dress have a moment? So cute & flirty for a birthday celebration. I should mention it’s on sale too. Really feeling the poofy sleeves.
Ok on to the 3 things I’ve learned this year:
3 THINGS I LEARNED THIS YEAR
1.) Community is key in every aspect of life.
“Alone, we can do so little: together, we can do so much.” – Hellen Keller
The importance of community grows stronger for me each year. It’s imperative to maintain & connect my community. The secret Facebook group launched over a year ago & it’s been incredible for connecting like-minded women all over the world. That continues to be my #1 priority as I grow The Skinny Confidential. Without community there would be no platform.
I want to create a brand that speaks to a niche group of people & connect & engage with those people while I’m doing it.
BUT ALSO… it’s not about me sharing with you… it’s about you guys sharing with me too. Some of the VALUE that you guys have provided me with is the Facebook group, TSC Master List, & tons of helpful tips & advice.
No matter how big the brand gets, I will continue to make the community my first priority.
2.) You’re gonna get criticized, no matter what you do. So just do it anyway.
“If you absolutely can’t tolerate critics, then don’t do anything new or interesting.” – Jeff Bezos
Recently, I shared my experience with sourpusses & how I deal with trolls. Criticism is just part of the game.
I believe if I am not being critiqued in some capacity I am not doing it right. It comes with the territory of putting yourself out there on a daily basis. It’s uncomfortable & scary & YES there will be critics but that’s part of life…& business. So whenever I have trolls, I sort of pat myself on the back. Because it’s like: GOOD. Good that I am putting myself out there to the point of criticism. Whenever I do anything new or interesting ( like the creator of Amazon, Jeff Bezos says ) I expect criticizers.
That doesn’t mean it’s not hard though. Here are some of my tips for dealing with it:
♡ Don’t feed into it.
♡ Don’t take it personally.
♡ Listen up ( sometimes ) – more here.
♡ Keep on keepin’ on.
I’m not going to let people’s negative opinions stop me. In fact, I’ll let them fuel me. GIVE ME ENERGY, INSTEAD OF DEPLETE MY ENERGY- you know?
3.) Stoicism has changed my life.
“External thinks are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.” – Marcus Aurelius
As I said, every morning I start my day with a page from this book. It takes 5 minutes & I like to write notes under each paragraph. It’s taught me to have incredible perseverance, wisdom, & made me realize that I can’t control outside forces- I can only control my reaction to them. It’s helped my EQ.
Sidenote: a little tangent on EQ ( emotional maturity & intelligence ) >>> it all comes down to self-awareness & for me, thinking time. Thinking time to sit with my thoughts & observe my reactions. Some signs of EQ are:
♡ can hear a different opinion or view point without becoming emotionally reactive.
♡ able to set boundaries & say no without extreme guilt.
♡ understands that perception is reality & accepts perceptions of others without trying to change them.
♡ can be vulnerable when hurt.
♡ can sit in undistracted silence with self.
♡ takes full accountability for behavior- does not seek to blame.
♡ finds humor & light heartedness often.
♡ does NOT view gossip as connection.
Those are the 3 things I learned from my birthday this year. As always I would love to hear anything you guys have to add- what have you learned this year so far?
With that, I hope you’re having an amazing, productive Thursday & I’ll see you tomorrow for a fun guest post with Curry Girls Kitchen.
+ Check out another birthday reflection post.
++ How to plan a badass birthday party here.