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Buying Tickets To The Circus?

drama free life | by the skinny confidential


We’ve all been there.

I feel like it’s been almost a theme with specific people. Can anyone relate here?
Drama is yawn, yawn, yawn & usually very avoidable.

The problem with drama is it sucks the energy from you. It’s like a Dementor from Harry Potter. Sucking all positive energy giving power to the negative. Of course no surprise I do everything & anything to avoid it.

…Because if you think about it, it’s all very pointless?

To be honest I love drama when it’s appropriate ( design-wise, LOL ) but when it comes to people’s drama? I stay far, FAR away. Just because I feel like it’s a waste of energy. CREATIVE energy, life energy, positive energy. And boy do I vibe off energy…

ANYWAY! Recently I was listening to The Bitch Bible’s Podcast & her guest, Marissa Hermer ( << Ladies of London, darlingggg ) said THE MOST AMAZING QUOTE EVERRRRR: don’t be surprised if you see elephants if you buy tickets to the circus.

And I stopped & re-listened to this quote.

It’s true though: how many times have we subscribed to dramatic delusions & then we’re shocked there’s a negative response?

On my end? Eer, A LOT.

SO many times I’ve gotten sucked into negativity & was then surprised by the kind of gross, dramatic outcome.

Here’s the thing: there should be NO surprise if I entertained the drama in the first place ( AKA went to see the elephants ). Basically it’s my fault if I’ve given it energy.

Jackie’s response to Marissa was: if you’ve had a problem with everyone you know, IT’S YOU.

How many people are self-aware enough to recognize that?

I feel like the way to avoid drama is to mind your own business. This is a whole different post but really, I’ve found minding your own business is the key to a happy life. If you’re confused at what this means LISTEN to this podcast episode with Mark Manson. He wrote this book called The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck. There are SOOOO many fantastic lessons in his book- it’s nuts. Lessons that separate bullshit from priorities. Lately, I’ve been choosing carefully where to give my fucks & I’m giving none towards petty drama or toxicity.

For a drama-free life: if I want to give advice I ask someone if “they’re at request for coaching” & if they say yes I try to know my limits. Or I simply mind my own business & stay in my own lane.

If all else fails I say NO & try not to entertain the drama especially when it comes to gossip.

Again gossip wastes energy. Energy I would rather put toward my business or friends/family.

On that note, I’m headed out to drink rosé & eat Burrata with a girlfriend so I’ll leave you with this: how do you deal with drama? Do you avoid? Do you partake? 

See you tomorrow, lauryn x



  1. I refuse to entertain any drama. No time for it – life is a blessing, and I want to spend every moment of it wisely. Thank you for the reminder of avoiding petty drama!

  2. I used to work in a place where it was constantly drama, like non stop. I got also caught up in it few times but even if I was not involved just by hearing about it, it sucks up your energy like you said. Makes you think all day about it, ruins your mood and basically it’s a waste of time.

  3. I so agree with this! My dad always said, “Life’s too short to put up with other people’s bullshit.” And drama is just that – bullshit. There’s so much more to life than that. It’s best to focus on the positives.

  4. Haha I love the dementor comparison. So true. I hate drama. I’m with you though…I like drama and excitement in certain areas of my life, but avoid other people’s issues entirely. I laugh at those memes that say like “can’t have any problems if you just always stay home” and although that’s extreme, it’s really true.

  5. Oddly enough I just posted this: on Insta yesterday about drama! I honestly can’t stand it, I avoid it at all costs. I cut out a lot of ppl in my life that always had drama in their lives bc, quite frankly, I don’t have time for it. I’ve ALWAYS hated it, and I preferred to have guy friends over girls in order to ensure there was less around me. Which is probably the reason why I have ZERO girl friends now. No it’s not bc I don’t like girl friends, I had my son over a year ago, and I don’t have a lot of time for friends anymore. I noticed once I cldnt go out that the friends dwindled off, and that’s okay with me. I enjoy spending quality time with my family, and alone time is the greatest thing in the world if you ask me! I also noticed that once my circle of friends got smaller, that I have ZERO drama in my life anymore! So I’m very happy with how it worked out! Life’s too short for bullshit! We should all just focus on the present, ourselves, and the ones that truly matter. At least that’s my opinion.? I cldnt agree more with you Lauryn! xX?

  6. I HATE drama! I used to entertain it because I thought I had to in order to keep certain relationships. But in the last year of my life I’ve just realized that I do not have time or space for negative people. I can be there for someone who’s hurting or going through a rough time, but that’s totally different than having truly toxic people around you. Great post, Lauryn!

  7. At my previous job, I entertained gossip, therefore inviting negativity into my life. I also opened myself up to people I shouldn’t have. I was constantly feeding into the drama and was shocked when I found myself feeling like I was drowning in negativity. I felt confused, unhappy and disappointed in not only the people I was associating with, but also myself.
    I took the initiative to leave the job, and started a new one about a year ago. I made it a point to combat any negative/gossip comment with a positive response. I now feel so much more satisfied and genuinely happy that I am NEVER a part of any drama or BS. I always try to see the good in everything and urge everyone to see other peoples perspectives in any situation.
    I think the best way to avoid drama is to make a conscious effort practice positivity and optimism. It might be difficult at first, but it’s like going to the gym. Once you start going and getting into the habit, it’s hard not to feel guilty when you don’t go.
    So I thank you for this positive reminder to be your best self and emphasizing the importance of self-awareness!!

  8. That. Is. a Brilliant Quote.
    I hate drama too, and made a conscious decision around age 24 to avoid drama as much as possible. Since then, I only put energy in people I love, make me happy and are low on the drama scale (this does not include crises – I’m all about helping friends in a crisis). This approach has been working great 🙂
    I just don’t buy tickets to the circus anymore 😉

  9. HATE drama. I vibe hugely off energy too & I need positive, uplifting people near or else I turn into this zombie type person. I always try to stay in my lane & only give advice if it’s asked for. (unless it’s my best friend, we have no filter with each other LOL) Life is short, there’s no time for BS!

  10. I totally agree. So much energy that we use for negative stuff would be so much better spent being creative, positive and just nice. Love this post and the tone of your writing as always <3

    xx, Pia

  11. As a teenager, I would get in trouble if my mom ever caught me gossiping! Her actions really influenced me, since nowadays I can’t participate in gossip without experiencing a bad taste in my mouth. Learning to redirect conversations towards positivity and recognizing people who are “in it for the circus” really helps you find solid friends!

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