ANXIETY IS A BITCH: HOW TO DO DEAL

by
LAURYN

The truth is the last couple weeks I have been going through some debilitating anxiety.

I feel like it has to do with the fact that I have packed my schedule to the brim along with some family stuff ( which isn’t my story to tell at the moment but maybe sometime soon ). The combination of my calendar being overwhelming & the family stuff has just been a lot for some reason.

I go through seasons with anxiety.

It’s funny like that, you know.

One minute you feel completely normal & then a random ( Monday ) you will wake up…feeling ‘off.’

This morning particularly I noticed that the feeling was creeping in. The anxiousness has been hanging out, like I said, for the last couple months but today it just really set in.

Again: the combo of the jammed packed schedule with the family shit sent me over the edge.

Stupid me, being in San Diego, away from our LA home decided to skip out on my meditation, stoicism studies, & light/movement/hydration routine.

Enter: MONDAY.

All day I was crawling out of my skin. It gets like pins & needles all over my body with a pit at the bottom of my stomach. I try to talk myself out of it & it gets worse. Then there are little things that make it worse- upping my cortisol all day. As the day went on I just felt like shit. Finally after feeling like a mess I called Michael.

Whenever we are super stressed, we walk & talk.

This helps. I don’t know why but it helps. To walk ( to move a little & get some physical time ) & to talk ( to let it out ).

Michael is very much logical & pragmatic so after 123098 times around the block, I felt a bit better.

Then I walked my dog ( which helped ), drank some ginger tea ( helped part 2 ), & did some breathing. Small steps. That’s how I deal with anxiety.

Small, little steps that ultimately make big differences.

This post was last minute because I have to be real with what I’m feeling. I do feel better now ( it’s 10:19 PM at night & I just had some CuraLeaf CBD relax drops & a little mushroom hot cacao mix with Meyer lemon. Writing it out helps too.

SO THIS IS FOR THE PERSON WHO IS OUT THERE EXPERIENCING CRIPPLING ANXIETY. The kind that comes & goes. I went to The Skinny Confidential Facebook Group & asked YOU ( YES, YOU ) what you do when you feel a pit. And boy, DID YOU ANSWER OR WHAT!

( I should also note that I removed everyone’s names here because I want to keep it private & anonymous- but thank you to all of you who gave me tips & tricks to deal with my anxiousness. I appreciate you ).

THE SKINNY CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNITY: YOUR TIPS + TRICKS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY:

♡ I remind myself how lucky I am to be alive & healthy. Taking a step back & looking at the whole big picture really puts all my worries into perspective for me.

♡ Organize all the closets, cabinets, drawers, get rid of stuff and clean- lol. I redirect my thoughts on being really productive, then I’m worn out afterwards & don’t feel anxious anymore! I call it hyperactive anxiety.

♡ It really helps for me to just stand outside in the sun & take deep breaths. I realize how great life is and how pretty the sun is & other random positive thoughts.

♡ I go into nature: forest or ocean. In Japanese medicine they practice shinrin-yoku, or a forest bath ( they describe it as “Go to a Forest ). Walk slowly. Breathe. Open all your senses. This is the healing way of Shinrin-yoku Forest Therapy, the medicine of simply being in the forest. “Scientifically-proven benefits of Shinrin-yoku include: boosted immune system functioning, with an increase in the count of the body’s Natural Killer cells, reduced blood pressure, reduced stress, improved mood, increased ability to focus.

♡ 1. Take a drive by myself to somewhere random, a few towns away & interact with strangers. ( & I don’t especially enjoy interacting with strangers, it can just sometimes snap me out of anxiety/forget about my worries/get a new perspective ). 2. Drive to the ocean & walk the beach ( even when it’s not sunny! ).

♡ Make lists…to-do, grocery, for the kids, for work, shopping, date night ideas, kids Summer routines, any & every kind of list. It’s something I can do when I can’t even get out of bed, but still gives me a sense of control.

♡ Listen to the song “Weightless” by Marconi Union. 65% proven affective at reducing anxiety.

♡ Music. I’ve gotten so used to listening to podcasts every time I’m in the car, I forget how mood shifting music can be. Sometimes it’s good to just turn on your favorite playlist & tune out the noise. Hopefully by the time you’ve arrived at your destination you’ll feel better.

♡ Be in the moment: look around & recognize flowers and trees, sit in a chair and say “I feel the chair, it’s cold.”

♡ Reading an amazing book right now called SCARY CLOSE by Donald Miller —about “dropping the act to find true intimacy ”…. resonates so much, it’s alleviating my anxiety! And unplugging for a while is helping!!

♡ Alternate nostril breathing helps the body calm almost immediately.

♡ For me, seeing my therapist more frequently has really really helped me. The past few months have been rough and my therapist highly suggested I see her once/week instead of every other week. While I can’t exactly afford the co-pay & feel like I “lose time” to do other stuff…I’m so happy I trusted her enough and put my ego aside to go every week.

♡ Tell Michael to go down on you- LOL. ( SIDE NOTE: YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING FUNNY ).

Gaba Calm by natural creations on Amazon! They are Amino Acids that feed the Neurotransmitters when the nerves go crazy leaving you feeling frazzled and not able to stay calm. Mild Lingering or Chronic anxiety, panic attacks have to be treated from the the direct source (brain). Hubby is a doctor and that’s how he treats patients!

♡ Talk it out. Have a beer. Know that this too shall pass.

♡ Edibles. Skip my to-do list and realize the world didn’t end- then I can tackle it from a better head space.

♡ Masturbate or organize my closet.

OHHHH HOW I LOVE THE SKINNY CONFIDENTIAL READERS.

3 THINGS THAT ARE BRINGING ME PEACE OF MIND:

1.) SCHEDULE “YOU” TIME:

LIKE I SAID: over-scheduling can be a trigger. So I need to work on this. Google calendar has helped me to put things like self-care, reading time, makeup time, driving time, me time, & thinking time on the cal ( I will do a post on thinking time this week & calendaring next week to round this out for you ). I even recently put my skin care time on the calendar. At night I take 10 minutes to myself to sit & watch my favorite show while doing facial massage. I start with this facial cleanser ( Wander Beauty’s Drift Away Cleanser– it’s just a standout star because it doesn’t strip the oils of the skin & it’s clean beauty- it’s gentle & perfect to wind down with ) & then I will add a hydrating serum & end with some avocado or grape seed oil ( find ones that are cold-pressed ). Then I mist my face always- there’s something SO relaxing about a mist ). This sounds weird but a day time makeup look is even scheduled. This is sort of a meditation. I do my makeup ( VERY QUICKLY ) & listen to a podcast for 10 minutes ( today I listened to “How I Built This” while I did my makeup ( 3 products I am loving: this hydrating highlighter – because it’s not overwhelming for day & brings out the whites of my eyes, a good eyelash curler – this one is to dieeeee… & this specific mascara – I try to get as much clean beauty as possible ). Anyway: schedule time for a little makeup with a podcast on the side. SELF CARE IS QUEEN.

2.) STOICISM WITH MORNING PAGES:

You know I love stoicism. I practice a page a day out of The Daily Stoic. If you get the book it takes 5 minutes a day- just make sure you don’t start from the beginning- start from whatever date is it- the book will guide you. And then I try to do MORNING PAGES.

Known as one of the most profound and empowering tools for cultivating creativity, personal growth, & change are the Morning Pages– this is a stream-of-consciousness style of writing that helps you basically purge your thoughts before you start your day.

Think of it as getting all your thoughts on paper before you need to tackle your to-do list.

I’m the type of person that will be legit distracted if I don’t do this in the morning. My thoughts are so chaotic & I want to get everything done that I literally can’t form sentences if I don’t write them down in the morning.

You can really write whatever you want in your Morning Pages- the only catch is this: YOU HAVE TO WRITE THREE PAGES AND YOU CANNOT STOP. My pages include my to-do list, TOP 7, what’s bugging me, where I want to take my business, what I am grateful for ( I do this one everyday! ), ideas, visions, dreams, quotes, funny sayings, things my husband says to me, etc. You can have your three pages be anything you want really.

Just write three.

As this source states: “Morning Pages is a practice introduced by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Waya book designed to help blocked creatives get unblocked.

Here’s the catch though: there’s no stressing, no exceptions, no erasing- JUST WRITING. PEN TO PAPER. WRITE, WRITE, WRITE. It can be about NOTHING or it can be about SOMETHING- get rid of all judgment. Write whatever is on your mind whether it’s stupid or not- JUST WRITE.

Reading & writing always helps with anxiety.

3.) QUICK, EASY TSC TIPS:

Go for a walk, call a friend, read, read more, listen to podcasts, listen to books on tape, breath, draw, write a lot, meditate, move your body, sweat, sauna, cryotherapy, stretch, yoga, Pilates, get off the phone ( or better yet- let it die ), work on a work project, turn on a salt rock lamp, listen to relaxing music, watch a movie, drink a green juice, breath more, read more, CBD, pet therapy, do something for someone else— or as The Nanz always said: “Lauryn, get outside yourself.”

With that- those are my anxiety tips AND your tips- tips straight from a bunch of TSC readers’ mouths. Tomorrow is my birthday so I want to go into the day with a good attitude, meditation, stoicism, some serious skin care, essential oils, lots of love, & the Morning Pages.

I hope this post helped anyone who’s out there reading who experiences anxious feelings. We have all been there. Stay strong. I get you.

Love, love, love- lauryn

P.S. feel free to send more anxiety tips & tricks my way-  APPRECIATE your feedback.

+ FOR MORE TIPS READ: BE PROACTIVE: 3 SIMPLE STEPS TO HELP DEPRESSION & ANXIETY

++ YOU SHOULD KNOW: this week ( Thursday, May 23rd, specifically ) I am taking over Wander Beauty’s Instagram. Be sure to follow along for a behind the scenes look into my day, office life, & favorite beauty products. Follow: @wander_beauty for updates. 

+++ SHOP: drift away cleansercatch the light highlighter and glowtion| mile high club mascara

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  1. AvatarCarly

    I really dig this post- I’ve been experiencing mild anxiety a lot lately (and I’m sure I’ll pop one of these days) between having a TON of family (who love to stress me out) in town for my grad school graduation, plus a jam-packed schedule with weddings, dinners, outings, parties, etc etc etc. Basically, we have company in our apartment for 2 weeks STRAIGHT. Cue anxiety. Thanks for the tips. With the constant company and the need to ‘entertain’ guests for 2 weeks, it’s easy to completely disregard the necessary “me” time.
    Carly recently posted..Briefly Reflecting on Graduate SchoolMy Profile

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  2. Avatarshannon

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! <3 I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, it happens to me more than I care to admit and that "off" feeling can trickle down to everything in life. All these tips are amazing and so tangible to add ASAP! I'm reading a Japanese lifestyle book I think you will love called Wabi Sabi – basically accepting the present and an imperfect life. Two tips that help me is walking to the ocean (water is so calming to me and I'm fortunate to live so close to it) & COOKING! Seriously, getting lost while cooking or baking is my therapy. Especially something like bread that can take up so much hands on time – it's truly therapeutic. Sending love x SLS
    shannon recently posted..CACIO E PEPE BUTTER: THIS 3 INGREDIENT RECIPE WILL MAKE EVERYTHING TASTE BETTER, TRUST ME!My Profile

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  3. AvatarRachel Cossette

    My favorite way to alleviate anxiety when it’s really bad is to listen to my friends talk. I tell them “I need to hear all about you, your day, you can vent, or talk about anything and I want to just listen.” This gets me outside of myself and my own head and works like a charm most times. Maybe this is my version of a walk around the block with Michael =)
    Rachel Cossette recently posted..My Go To Gifts For A Baby Shower + New MomMy Profile

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  4. AvatarMolly

    First off, happy birthday! Second, I’m sorry about your anxiety. However, thank you so much for posting about it. As a person that goes through cycles of anxiety like yours, it can sometimes feel like everything is spinning out of control. Just talking about it with other people that suffer from it is so reassuring. It validates that we are not alone and that there is always someone out there that can relate. Someone that will listen. We can all be strong, independant women but that doesn’t mean we can’t help eachother through hard times. Thank you for reminding me of that <3

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  5. AvatarCeleste

    Fantastic post! Thanks for helping me feel not alone with anxiety. I had a debilitating attack last night.. woke up witching my boyfriend must be cheating on me or not in love with me because he has not proposed yet. Such crazy and irrational thoughts. This morning I woke up thinking normal again but now emotionally drained. Thanks for the tips! Love ya-

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  6. AvatarLaura

    Thank you so much for this – I’ve been struggling with anxiety lately and I often forget other people are experiencing the same things I am! so thank you <3 And happy birthday!!

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  7. AvatarLauren

    Thinking of you and hoping your family stuff is okay. Thank you for sharing. “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” xoxo

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  8. AvatarVeronica

    I really love this post. There are so many techniques people can use to help with anxiety, but one that I’ve found that works for me is a grounding technique. Grounding helps a ton with anxiety because anxiety gives you this feeling of being removed from your environment because you’re so involved in yourself and the anxiety you’re experiencing. Here’s what you do, sit down in a room, you can literally do this ANYWHERE. I’ve been in work meetings feeling like I’m going to explode out of my skin and done this in the middle of the meeting, nobody even notices and it brings me down to earth and helps me gain some control. So, sit in your chair and keep both feet flat on the ground. Do a light body scan from your toes all the way up to your head. Slowly scan each part of your body and check in for the feeling. After that little body scan, pick one basic color you see in the room. Then, starting from one wall of the room, slowly SLOWLY scan from top to bottom to look for where you see that color. You’re doing this slowly, looking at every detail in the room scanning for that color. You’ll find that by the end of it, your breathing has suddenly slowed down, you’ve become more present in your environment, mindful of the moment you’re in and a little removed from the anxieties that were coming over you. This isn’t a cure all, but it’s a useful tool you can do anywhere, anytime, any place. It helps to gain some control and bring you back down to earth. Worth trying and remembering when you feel like you’ve exhausted all your resources!

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  9. AvatarSam

    It’s like you have a way of capturing exactly what it can feel like. Having it myself, I can 100% feel this post and the tips.

    Reply
  10. AvatarAmy Soho

    Acupuncture completely changed my life. I had horrible anxiety and panic attacks after a death in the family and I just wasn’t functioning at all. I felt a million times better after 1 acupuncture session and I’ve been doing it for almost 2 years now! Highly recommend! But i love hearing other ideas, too because we all can use some relief!

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  11. AvatarClarissa

    Love these tips! I struggle with anxiety just like that. Some days I think it’s ridiculous that I thought I ever had something wrong with me and then the next I’m having anxiety. So weird how that works. Definitely going to try your tips for the next time it happens!

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  12. AvatarDaniel Van Helden

    It’s nice to know the beautiful people have anxiety attacks too, just kidding.

    I’ve learned as you said, that breathing helps a lot. Slow breathing. Breathing twice as long when you inhale compared to exhaling is a trick I just learned that really helps me.

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