Alexis is a wealth of knowledge especially when it comes to addiction. She is a sobriety advocate ( her & her husband even own a treatment center ), a mother of 2, author & podcaster. Oh, & a doula too. No big deal.
With that, let’s welcome Alexis to The Skinny Confidential.
♡ Introduce yourself to The Skinny Confidential audience.
Alexis Haines: Hi, I’m Alexis Haines, but you may know me as Alexis Neiers. I am a wife, mother, best selling author, ex-reality star, mental health advocate & host of the podcast, Recovering from Reality. I know it’s a lot!
♡ What does Alexis 10 years ago look like compared to Alexis now?
AH: 10 years ago my show Pretty Wild had just gotten picked up by the E! Network. From the outside looking in, it seemed as though I had it all. A great job… my own reality show, but the actual reality was I was suffering from a terrible addiction to heroin, & little did I know my life was about to change forever.
On the second day of filming my show, I was arrested for the burglary of Orlando Bloom’s home. My friend had been robbing the houses of celebrities for months. One night we were out partying, I was in a black out & the next thing I knew I came to in a bedroom with an empty bag being thrown in my hands. Fast forward a few years, & that moment ended up saving my life. I pled to my crime & went to jail. Shortly after I was ready to get help. December 10, 2010 I went into rehab & my life forever changed. I am now 9 years sober, 7 years married with two beautiful children. I spend my days in active recovery & service to others & I wouldn’t have it any other way.
♡ What are some tools you used to overcome your addiction?
AH: The biggest & most important lesson I have had to learn is to sit in your discomfort. Growing up, I wasn’t provided the necessary tools to cope in life. So I spent years trying to escape the pain of my childhood sexual abuse, parents’ nasty divorce, the physical violence that was taking place in my home as a child, & my rape at 16 years old. I needed to constantly shut it all down. So learning how to be okay with not being “okay” was the greatest gift I received in early sobriety.
♡ You decided to write a book. What’s your goal with the book?
AH: I want people to know that their pain can actually be a gift. That it can give them purpose & despite their personal challenges they can overcome anything. In this world that often feels so hopeless, it’s time for a little hope.
♡ How are you using your platform to help other addicts?
AH: Every day I receive messages from men & women who are struggling, along with family members who are reaching out for help for one of their loved ones. I am really happy to say that since October I have helped 7 people get into treatment, & many more get into therapy or counseling. On my weekly podcast I provide people with the necessary tools to get started on the path of healing & to feel a little less alone. On my instagram I use the platform to talk about mental health, addiction & healing.
♡ What are some wellness routines that set you up for success when you were in recovery?
AH: I really do believe that when we heal we need to look at our mind, body & soul. So I look at healing as a holistic process. For me it’s the basics: meditate, good sleep, eat clean & have good friends.
♡ You’re also a mom. How will you teach your girls about what you’ve experienced with addiction?
AH: My husband & I own a drug treatment facility Alo House. They have grown up around the treatment center their whole lives. That said, they don’t know our stories just yet. They know that mommy & daddy don’t drink ( my husband is sober as well for 15 years now ) or consume alcohol, & for now that’s what we feel is age appropriate. When the time comes we will disclose. I am not sure when that will be, but I assume somewhere closer to middle school age.
♡ What does the process of writing a book look like?
AH: I had been journaling for years. Kristen helped me write the frame work & made the flow of the book work out & then I went in & added all the details. Kind of like building a house. She put up the frame & then I added the walls, details & decorations. It was a total of 9 months of work & I am so happy with the final product.
♡ You’re known for the ‘Bling Ring,’ tell us a bit about that.
AH: Like I said above, in a lot of ways the Bling Ring was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I really don’t think that I would be alive had I not gone to jail & gotten help so young. Unfortunately because I had the show Pretty Wild, I did become the face of it. The truth is that Nick & Rachel had been robbing houses for a long time. I really only knew Nick & after that night, we stopped talking. But, it honestly doesn’t bother me now. What happened was terrible & so sad. It speaks to the sickness of our society. I was part of that sickness, even if it wasn’t in the roll of the leader.
♡ Talk to us about your time spent on Pretty Wild.
AH: That was such a wild time in my life. I was a 19 year old heroin addict fighting a felony burglary charge on national television. I am just grateful I survived.
♡ How is your relationship with your parents now that you’re in recovery?
AH: It’s ever evolving. About two years into my sobriety my mom finally admitted how toxic she had been as a parent & decided to get help. We are in a much better place now! My relationship with my father is also better. I will never get the mom or dad that I needed or need, but I have made peace with that.
♡ What does life look like for you now?
AH: Being a mom & a wife is the greatest blessing. It has also taught me a lot about balance & self care. And my marriage has taught me about what true love is, what it means to sacrifice & compromise. Both of my parents have been married & divorced multiple times. Our children are often mirrors for us, showing us the painful remains of our childhood that still need to be worked on.
♡ If you were to talk to someone who is using drugs or alcohol to cope with their feelings, what are 3 steps you’d tell them to take to better themselves?
- Reach out & ask for help
- Surrender to the process
- Stick with the winners
♡ Tell us about your new podcast with Dear Media.
AH: My podcast was created from a really profound calling that I had to help others. We are living in a time where so many are suffering, whether it be from mental health issues, addiction, loss, trauma or just everyday challenges. I realized that so many don’t have the support or tools they need to cope, so I created a space where we can dive into these really challenging topics.
Recovering from Reality is so much more that a wellness podcast from a former wild child. It is now a community of people who are actively bettering their lives. I am so incredibly grateful to have been asked to join the Dear Media family. What they have created over there is a space that truly values women.
♡Pimp yourself out. Where can everyone find you?
AH: My personal Instagram is @itsalexishaines.
My podcast’s Instagram is @recoveringfromreality & you can listen whereever you listen to your podcasts.
My website is www.recoveringfromreality.com.
My book is available on Amazon.
If you need help with addiction or mental health my treatment center is www.alorecovery.com.
Hope you guys loved this post on addiction. If this resonated with you, you have to check out my sister Faye’s podcast & this post I wrote about the experience of having an addict in the family.
Be sure to stalk Alexis on Instagram & grab a copy of her book.