Being a mentor to some fabulous people has been one of the greatest gifts throughout building The Skinny Confidential.
When I take on a mentee I look for someone who is a hustler, disciplined, and ready to execute. In the past, all my mentees have had these qualities, abilities, drive traits – whatever you wanna call it. Each and every one. DeAnna, Deepa, Bailey, Zack, and now Jade.
DeAnna (who wrote an incredible ebook) is the one who initially introduced me to Jade and when I met her I knew she was special. Her energy was magnetic. It was at SXSW where I was speaking and she just stood out. Huge smile, you could tell she was a hustler and just a whole vibe.
After talking with her we exchanged information and after a few phone calls I heard about the social plan she wanted to build out. After these phone calls I also learned about her unique story and that she was ready to share it with the world.
Throughout the entire experience, she’s been extremely brave and vulnerable and I wanted her to come on the blog to talk about it. Jade has put in so much work, it’s all her, and watching her flourish has been amazing.
Let’s welcome Jade to the blog.
A Trans Woman’s Journey
Hello my fellow TSC lovers and familia, my name is Jade Scott. I am an openly trans content creator who recently opened up my journey to the world and is documenting it every step of the way. We are ground zero on my transition and I am ready to spill it all. Nothing is off limits.
I was introduced to Lauryn at SXSW 2022 through our mutual friend DeAnna and after sharing some laughs and talking, Lauryn instantly wanted to mentor me. So here we are. Currently, I am Lauryn’s mentee. I am so extremely grateful for this opportunity and for Lauryn. So far she has pushed me beyond what I thought I was capable of and I’m hoping to continue to not only make her and myself proud, but also my community.
Lauryn, thank you for opening up your platform to not only me, but to everyone I represent in my community.
My journey has not been an easy one.
It’s been long, it’s been dark, but it has been worth it. One day, when I’m ready I will share the extremely dark details of exactly what the time I spent wandering around lost with no sense of direction was truly like. To try and put it in some perspective; imagine walking around the dark with not a single glimmer of light, or hope, for years. Just aimlessly going through the motions of life and doing things because your told this is what you should do.
You eventually lose absolute control over your life and hit a wall, a wall that makes you wonder what is the point of continuing on. I really had to climb, claw, and fight my way out of that with every ounce of my being and that was only a small part of where I had to start before I had even began this current journey I am on.
For me, the tinniest flicker of light that gave me hope came one summer night in 2018 when I decided to binge watch POSE, a tv show I highly recommend everyone watch. The stories this show were telling and the way the actresses articulated the feelings these women, trans women, felt was truly the most eye-opening experience ever. What was being said was finally putting into words the emotions and things I was feeling all these years.
There was a reason when asked where I saw myself in 5 years I could never answer properly, and it’s because the life I was living wasn’t actually who I was. Let me tell you, having this epiphany and then looking in the mirror and finally seeing yourself reflected back is the craziest and most liberating feeling in the world. In that moment, my journey truly began.
From there it became about creating a plan which I knew would be long. I think the hardest part was figuring out that I was actually trans and then accepting or even allowing that to be the case. So I spent the rest of the summer researching and looking into what this meant. I couldn’t believe how hard it was to figure out where I went from here or where to even begin to seek help to figure out my identity crisis.
I reached out to a few local advocacy groups and centers for the LGBTQIA Community and ultimately was put in contact with members of my community to talk me through where I was mentally and guide/help me figure out what was next.
Gender Identity Therapy
Scared and feeling extra alone, I knew Gender Identity Therapy was my next step based on the guidance and insight of fellow trans people I had talked to. Unfortunately, I only had a few months to find a therapist, who had immediate openings, and start the process. I was 26 and was about to be kicked off my insurance plan, because at the time I had stopped working and was focusing on content creating and going to school full-time.
The fear I had when I started calling around for a therapist and clinics that provided Gender Identity Therapy, it was fear that my parents would be notified about me seeking this help because again, I was on their insurance.
Now, let me also say that my parents have been nothing but accepting and welcoming to any and all self-expression at this point. I have no idea why I was so afraid of them finding out. I mean, my dad was already buying me designer purses and heels at this point, but I think the fear came from more of a place of being not ready to talk about it, because I was still so lost and confused by what all of this meant.
It wasn’t a mental war I was familiar with.
I think everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community goes through this mental battle at some point, regardless of how accepting our family is. We all go through this mental tug of war when it comes to “coming out,” and to be totally honest, I hate that we even have to come out or announce or lives to be able to live in peace. That’s a conversation for a whole other time.
In the last 6 months of being on my parents’ insurance I was able to fit in 12 sessions and half way through that I was firm and sure of my identity. I was a trans woman, and for once in my life I was able to look in the mirror and recognize who I saw… I was able to see me.
2019 & 2020
I was in and out of group therapy and free therapy provided by either my university or my local center for LGBTQIA. Essentially, I was taking advantage of any and all free therapy and guidance I could get. The summer of 2019, a full year after my epiphany, was when I came out to my closest friends and my immediate family. In total that was about 6-7 people.
Once I came out to my parents, they found me a permanent therapist to get consistent and proper care, mind you it was all out of pocket as I was uninsured. I was so appreciative for this because sometimes if I wanted to have a session, I couldn’t get appointments through my school or university. It would be booked out for months.
March 31, 2022, 9 days after meeting Lauryn, on Transgender Day of Visibility, I publicly came out to the rest of my family and friends on social media. I think at some point my mom had to put her phone on silent with the amount of phone calls she was getting from family and family friends, but ultimately, she stayed by my side all day and made sure nothing got in the way of my day.
I will say it was 80% positive, 15% negative, and 5% disappointing, and by that, I mean some people just quietly exited stage left, which is okay, but there were a few people I wasn’t expecting that from. In the end, it has built a stronger system of support around me.
Fast forward to the end of 2022 and to where we are now.
I have fully transitioned my life to be femme presenting every day, and have found a consistent therapist and primary care doctor through my work’s insurance, which covers gender affirming care 100%.
In October 2022 I was at a point where I had a solid foundation to take my transition to the next level. We just had one problem, my health was so out of control, and I won’t go into much detail about this because this is a whole other journey in itself that I had to go down to get to where I am today. But basically I was nowhere near ready to begin hormone therapy which was the next step. First, I had to lose weight and get my blood pressure under control in order for me to begin hormone therapy and so there I went down a side journey to get me back on track to my transition.
March 3rd, 2023
Coincidentally the same day I began my mentorship with Lauryn, I found and settled on my new name. All because the guy at Starbucks misheard me. Instead of Jae, he heard Jade and that’s what was on my cup. It’s like a light went off when I heard him say Jade and I immediately reacted to it as if it was my name. In that moment I knew my name was Jade.
April 13th 2023
2 months post bariatric surgery and 90lbs lost, I was headed to my first appointment at planned parenthood for a consultation about hormone therapy. It was really intimidating and nerve-racking, but I’m going to be completely honest- I went in expecting the worst. I just went in thinking I wouldn’t ever be able to get on hormone therapy. They immediately take you in and talk you through the treatment plan and if the doctor thinks you’re able to undergo treatment. Sign some papers, and your blood is drawn. You wait about 30 to 45 minutes for the results to come back and when I say it was the longest wait ever, it was the longest wait EVER. However, I heard my primary care doctor’s voice in the hall, he was on the phone with my hormone therapy doctor talking some things over.
This is where a lot of questions came in.
Mainly surrounding why I go to Planned Parenthood and not my primary. I have been with my primary care physician since March 2022, and from the beginning I was upfront with goals not only for my health but my transition as well. By now I was at the point that nothing was holding me back from living my true life. The plan was for my primary care physician to administer the hormone therapy, however, the company who handles all the back office operations of his clinic decided to ban any of their physicians from the treatment starting 2023.
BUT my doctor recommended Planned Parenthood and they stay on as my main primary care physician while PP planned is my administering clinic for my hormone therapy. And I say all that to say, that I walked out of my consultation with the green light and prescribed phase 1 of my hormone therapy. I cried all afternoon, tears of happiness of course, but just happy. To top it off my parents took me to and picked me up for this appointment and we went to celebrate.
Hormone therapy has so far been really good for me.
I just entered phase 2 in July 2023 and was given the green light to stay in phase 2 after my one month check in, but for now… I am choosing to live in this very moment.
A year ago I never saw myself here, and for once in my life I actually want to enjoy the ride, and that’s ultimately where I am at in my journey. I feel like in the last year I have made so many positive strides in my life and even bigger steps to live my truth.
However, this journey does not come without its battles… currently my biggest battle is fighting the State of Texas to let me update my gender marker and change my name, legally, and it’s been exhausting. I have to continue the fight; I have no other choice. These fights are about more than just me, it’s for everyone in my community. I still have a long road ahead and I’m excited. So much to look forward to and plan, it feels amazing to live, truly live.
Until the next update TSC Fam!