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A Pathetic Attempt At a Wedding Update

The Skinny Confidential talks weddings.


So I’ve decided if there was an award for worst bride to be ever, I would win.

It’s not intentional ( I tried to get excited over a Pinterest board, really I tried ). The whole wedding planning thing is just something I have yet to get excited about. IS THERE ANYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET LIKE THIS? PLEASE?

Realness alert: getting engaged was so special to me. It fit like a shoe. Also, it was done away from social media ( we kept it a secret for like a month & half ). And well, I like being engaged. You know, just being. I don’t see the rush in planning a wedding. I’m happy with where I’m at now. Also, I’m busy. Full-time blogging may seem like you write a couple paragraphs & post a picture, but it’s A LOT more in depth than that…at least that’s been my experience. It’s a ’round the clock’ job that’s taken a lot of energy & time. I’m not complaining; I just don’t have time to add ‘wedding plan’ to my list of 3895719013475 other things right now. Anyway, the past couple weeks have given me time to think a bit & I’m starting to come around to the idea of wedding planning. SLOWLYYYYY THOUGH.

I’m not one of those girls that’s overly excited about her wedding. I’ve tried to get giddy but I’m just not. I’ve never dreamed of my wedding when I was little. And now at my age, I dream about my chihuahuas running through fields (LOL) & building my own business. And I’ve come to except THAT’S OK. I’m ok with not being the girl that knows exactly what/where/when/how/why wedding details.

NOW, should I tell you the semi-progress I’ve made since being knocked down on my ass?

Ok, let’s begin, shall we?

♡ Location, location, location:

I want a destination wedding. Small, intimate, not too many people. Kind of a no pressure thing, like if we invite someone & they can’t come, no big deal. Reason being: when I had TSC Book launch party there were a lot of people. Which was AWESOME, but I feel like I didn’t get to enjoy the whole experience fully because I was busy saying hello to everyone. I missed out on eating, mingling, & soaking in the whole night.

When I get married I want it to be about the man I’m marrying. Not saying hellos & making rounds, you know? So very small, very intimate.

My friend, Emily reminded me about something I said: “our wedding is on the moon…everyone’s invited.” Ha, aka no pressure. If people can come, great, if not, no worries.

♡ OMG, the dress:

Cinderella moment is out. More effortless, non princess-ish is in. I’m not into the Barbie look for me. It works so well for so many women, but at this point in my life I’d prefer an effortless, shoulder showing/backless look. In high school, I did the hot pink, Paris Hilton look & I feel like it’s something I’d never go back to. Especially when I’m getting married.

Also, I don’t want to spend a billion dollars on the dress because I’ll wear it once. So for my dress: simple, chic, relaxed, effortless. Don’t want to show a lot of tit either. HA. Classier the better for this day. I haven’t done any real dress shopping. Besides on Instagram ( do screenshots count? ). Tips?

* Dress above is from 5 seconds of trying on wedding dresses at a cute, little shop under my house. It was more for fun.

♡ Hair…can I be real though?:

Michael fell in love with me when my hair was down, unwashed ( I know weird, unwashed…lol ). When I get married, it will most likely be down, unwashed. Personally, I’m not one for up-do’s because I look like a 5th grader in braces & a training bra, but again, that’s just me. There are a ton of things that work for other people, but not for me. If an up-do looks good on you, LUCKYYYY.

I won’t highlight my hair before I get married because I like a little highlight growth. If you know what I’m talking about, you’re my spirit animal. Having dye on the root looks weird on me.

♡ Food…keeping it simple:

Here’s the thing: people think they’re feeding Rose’s mom in Titanic at weddings. I’m not a fan of this method. Generally it seems people are pretty simple when it comes to food. You know: simple staples. I’m more of a street taco and chips & spicy guac girl myself. Like dover sole with caviar & truffle potatoes is way too intense, in my opinion.

Also, I’d love a good old In & Out truck for later in the night. For our food, it’s going to be food we love that’s simple & just DAMN GOOD.

& no 6 million dollar, lace adorned, overly sweet cake  ( who even eats the cake anyway?? In & Out sounds better to me ). I’d be perfectly happy with a Funfetti cupcake.

♡ Drinks— because YES:

CHAMPAGNE IS A NECESSITY. And of course, Michael & I love craft cocktails so hopefully we can get someone who’s a boss at shaking a real deal, old school drink. Think: ginger margaritas, stirred Old Fashion’s, & lemon/cucumber gin sours. MMMmm. Being real, I’d also love a keg of Stella. Gotta keep it classy.

♡ Getting into decor:

Decor is the same as the dress. I don’t want princess vibes. I want more of a neutral vibe. Again, relaxed/simple with my own personal twist. Haven’t planned much here so there’s not much to report. Need to get on it. Soon. LOL.

So literally I just made my full-on list of what I’ve done so far. On my blog. To all of you. Is this pathetic?

I think I wanted to do this post so I could show myself just how far behind I am at planning this wedding. Because if you really look at the list, I haven’t ACTUALLY planned a thing, ya know. There’s just an idea in my head of how I want it to go. Got to remind myself that The Skinny Confidential started the same way. An idea. That I sat on. And kind of cultivated. So let’s hope my wedding thoughts keep coming…by the way, this is a very real post so please don’t judge.

Perhaps it could be worse? I could be a raging Bridezilla & talk Michael’s ear off every second about napkin colors?

On that note, I’m trying to look at the whole wedding thing from a logical business standpoint too. Personally I’d rather invest money into our businesses & not go bankrupt over one day. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Besides the honeymoon is what really tickles my fancy.

( I know, I’m THAT bad. I’m more excited for the honeymoon, than the wedding ).

OH! & another reason I did this post is FOR ADVICE! I know a bunch of you are engaged or married: what’s your take on the whole situation? What has your experience been like? If you’re not engaged or married, what’s your ultimate vision?

Ok, I am off to watch Grey’s Anatomy, ice my face, & drink 100 bottles of Perrier.

– lauryn x

P.S. don’t even get me started on bridesmaid showers, penis straw bachelorette parties, & gift registries, etc. Nothing against them, I just want to keep it melllllowwww. Imagine me as Zen Bride.

  1. I feel this on a spiritual level. I was all the way across the country from my fam & bridesmaids so I basically planned it by myself trying to keep it as simple and intimate possible.

    Sidenote, definitely take a look at Grace Loves Lace wedding dresses. They’re beyond beautiful, crazy unique but still simple-chic. Definitely think a couple on there are on-point for your aestetic.

    1. That’s how I want it. Simple & intimate : ) sounds like you had a beautiful wedding. Checking out Grace Loves Lace now. xx

    2. Actually it’s happening in 18 days *cue anxiety* but I’m beyond excited. Please let me know what you think of Grace Loves Lace!!! I’ve been obsessed since I started wedding dress shopping.

  2. If you’re wanting a destination wedding with relaxed vibes, no need for fussy decor, and great food and cocktails, I can’t recommend the French Quarter in New Orleans enough. You’ll enjoy every moment (unless you do an outdoor wedding in August).

    1. I’m lucky enough to live here! Take a look at Race and Religious and the Chicory. Or you could make like Solange and get married in the Marigny Opera House!

  3. I didn’t care about the details besides what I wanted to look like hair/makeup wise and who I was gonna marry. Besides that, I couldn’t have cared less.

    The hardest part of wedding planning for me was having every one else talk my ear off about what they think I should do because they could tell I literally did not care. After so much of that, I just wanted to redirect the questions to someone else! I guess invest in someone you trust to take those questions that won’t cost a pretty penny? A person to tell them NO! for you? I wish that existed.

    One day I was at a buffet place with my future mother-in-law and she would not stop talking to me about wedding planning, so I got up to go get more food/get away/make her leave me alone. A little old lady walked up to me who overheard what was going on, grabbed my arm and said, “Remember, it’s YOUR day. No one else’s. Keep it that way.”

    And that was probably the most valuable (and cutest) wedding advice I received, ever.

  4. I’m totally the same way about weddings! I never dreamed of mine. I find the traditional stuff a bit silly. Like how people register for gifts. “We love each other! Here’s a list of stuff from Williams-Sonoma that we want.” Also those ugly tiffany blue bridesmaid dresses, I could die. Or creepy baby slideshows. I could rant about cheesy weddings all day.
    PS I love Lauren Santo Domingo’s wedding style, if you are in need of more inspiration.

  5. I like your realness about being engaged. Many people — bloggers especially — make an enormous drama out of it. It’s refreshing that you’re so down-to-earth. :]

    1. They do, don’t they? It’s as if Kate Middleton is getting married. Hahah. I just want to be chill about it.

  6. Congratulations again!

    I am in the exact same boat. I am legally married, but since my family is across the globe, our wedding is planned for September 2016. Honestly though, I am already useless when it comes to planning. I never thought twice about what my wedding would look like!

    Luckily, we at least know it will be in Hawaii. And since it’s a destination wedding, the travel agents have plans that include everything. They arrange it all ahead of time, even costs of renting dresses and tuxedos, photographers, etc. No idea how it will work out since I haven’t contacted them beyond looking at their locations and determining I don’t really care for any of them and wow, this is going to be expensive.

    Better luck to you!

  7. I just got engaged last month and this post spoke to me! Since getting engaged I have shown no interest whatsoever in planning my wedding. People keep asking ‘what are you going to do about XYZ?’ and I think aaarrrghhhh!! I can barely plan my dinner each day so I have no idea how I’m going to cope with this. Reading through your list, I think you have made a lot of progress from absolute zero to this! This is a theme and an idea for a day forming right here! Champagne is essential I agree, and the sound of those cocktails….perfect.

  8. The wedding is a celebration of you two as a couple so keep it real for sure! For my wedding we did Cabo San Lucas as it was so much fun to bring the family together on the beach and as you know Cabo has such a cool vibe. We booked out Marbella suites and had the whole family stay our wedding was about 50 guests so pretty small and we for the rehearsal dinner we did tacos and chips and salsa and Margs with beers then that night we did a bonfire on the beach with smores which are my favorite 🙂 it was so chill no uptight wedding drama and everyone was so relaxed because the beach is just a calming place! The wedding was also beach casual and I did a vintage style dress with my hair all down and my dog walked me down the aisle and my other dog was with the flower girl as they are a big part of our relationship! All my love to you!!

  9. I had a BIG she-bang and… I now tell everyone to keep it simple and a reflection of the two of you. Sounds like you’re in the zone with that! Honestly, the best part was the honeymoon (Thailand). I’d say that’s the thing to invest in, not the ceremony. People who are close to you will ALWAYS enjoy your wedding day, regardless of what type of event you have, because they’ll just be so damn happy for ya! 🙂 [P.S. Wishing you a speedy recovery!]

  10. No need to apologize for not being overly excited about planning your wedding. If you are more excited about spending the rest of your life with your man you already have everything you need and want. It sounds like you know exactly what you want for your wedding. Remember this post when you get further in the planning because everyone will have an opinion of what you should do. I’ve been married for 10 years (I’m 31) and I had a small, inexpensive wedding and it was perfect. Let the vision you have be your guide. What you and your guests will remember is how happy you are and how much fun you all had, not the decor on the tables. The best thing I can tell you is have fun with this period of your life and enjoy the planning. Time really does fly when you are happy!

  11. Lauryn, I remember my wedding planning. I started enthusiastically but soon I found there were millions things to be planned – I just left everything on my wife (fiancée that time) and my mom. I know it´s a coward approach but I couldn´t handle this many details. And I was a groom 🙂

  12. I think the big thing is do exactly whatever you want because it’s about you two. I was frustrated with my wedding, Sam and I still look back a little bit annoyed about it because we wanted to do a destination wedding and our first mistake was listening to other people saying that they really wanted to come so we should have it where we lived…we invited more people than we should have even though we tried narrowing down the list it was so hard and we spent waaaay way too much money. And like you said, we didn’t get to enjoy our night because we had to talk to everyone….it was pretty much ridiculous that I felt like I was throwing a party for other people and having to entertain them on my wedding day when I just wanted to be enjoying being a newlywed with Sam. I mean i was happy that people wanted to be there it was just unnecessary stress. We actually ended up leaving our reception early because It was so overwhelming…So our honeymoon is definitely what I was looking forward to!! And it was amazing. Also a lot of things didn’t turn out as planned for the wedding so I just had to roll with it…and why I did a strapless wedding dress I’ll never know. It was so heavy and hard to keep up. Anyway…. I think it’s nice you have time to think about what you really want. Our engagement was 6 months and I was never the girl who dreamed about her wedding either so it was ALOT to try and figure out in such a short amount of time which is why i think it went the way that it did! Our honeymoon was the best part for sure!

  13. Wow this makes me feel much better! I’m from NY and got engaged 6 months ago. I haven’t planned a thing but everyone wants to know when’s the date?!? NY weddings are notoriously over-the-top, spend your life savings, kinda deals. My fiance is actually from San Diego so we’re thinking of doing it there since it can be a little more mellow.. Plus we’re way more excited for the honeymoon! Haha – we’re thinking the Maldives! It sounds like your wedding will be exactly what YOU want it to be, which is the most important 🙂

  14. Couldn’t agree more on every aspect! A destination wedding is SOOOO awesome if you have the right people in your life.. Chase and I couldn’t do that because he has some crazy family, and it wouldn’t have blended well for a week.. But if you do, it’s amazing! We went to one in Cozumel, MX last winter and it was just awesome.. all of the people closest to the bride and groom spending 4 days together bonding, eating, paddle boarding, other excursions, poolside, whatever.. and it made the wedding so beautiful. And I also agree with decor and your dress.. simple, chic, and perfect. And definitely put more effort towards your honeymoon.. That’s the best! We did two weeks in Europe and it was such an adventure right after our wedding. Just fly somewhere from where your destination is! My friends had their wedding in Cozumel, then flew to Belize for a week. Perfection! Good luck, and don’t worry that you aren’t too focused.. there’s no need to be!

  15. Looovee this! I am getting married in 29 days and I feel like I can offer some bits of advice – don’t feel like you HAVE to do anything. Do you. Do you and Michael. I’ve had so many family members, and members of my fiances family, tell me I have to do things a certain way or make me feel bad if I’m not doing things how they view it. Just do you. That being said, involve as little people as possible. Seriously! I always thought you needed to have a million people and have nights doing crafts and going shopping with a gizzilion people and just no. I went shopping once with all of my bridesmaids and it was torture. Once you start involving other people, opinions may clash and frustration begins. We’re having a small wedding of 80 and I’m planning on dancing the night away – not making rounds to every.single.person. Well, that was a rant and you can see how I’m ready for this wedding to be here already. haha Good luck!!

  16. I completely understand this entire post! I was NOT into wedding planning either. I sort of felt like I had to plan this big wedding and invite all these people and do these sort of things that EVERYONE does and it just felt so fake to me. I was really only excited about our honeymoon (we went to Maui) because it was just going to be about us. So a few months before our planned wedding, we cancelled everything and just decided to get married in Maui, just the two of us. Literally the best decision of my life. We did lose some money on initial deposits, but we ended up saving a lot more from not having a big wedding that I didn’t want. It was SUCH a special day because it was just about US and only us. The great thing about destination weddings too is they take care of a lot of the little details (decor, cake) that I didn’t care as much about. And we have the most amazing pictures from our special day. Good Luck and do what you want to do!!

  17. I am totally with you on the “just being”, “not going bankrupt over one day” vibes. But at the same time, I have been subconsciously planning my wedding for a few months now (no, i’m not engaged but I am engaged to be engaged..or I like to think I am). I live in Canada and am a huge cottage-camping-bonfire kinda girl. My dream is to get married on a floating dock in Muskoka, have an intimate garden party (with twinkle lights and BBQ and summery cocktails), and an evening bonfire (with a s’mores bar and a live folk band). I have even thought – how cute would it be to have bride and groom hoodies for the evening party?
    My best friend, on the other hand, is in the midst of planning her old hollywood wedding. Cool, but not for me!

  18. You may feel like you have nothing planned, but honestly figuring out the right vibe/style for your wedding is the hardest part! Your post makes it sound like you’re stressing yourself into thinking you HAVE to have the traditional Cinderella wedding to please the outside world, BUT YOU DON’T. It’s your day, and you should make it everything you and Michael want. Also considering how busy you are, I would look into getting a wedding planner. A talented planner can take all your wants (and don’t wants), and handle the awful tedious parts, to help you plan the perfect wedding that fits YOU.

  19. You are speaking my language! I just got engaged in March. We are having a destination wedding in Key Largo. Totally with you on simple and non fussy decor, dress and location. Do not even think about coming near me with that ball gown! I’m obsessing over a simple Grace Loves Lace dress and will be scooping up some ocean water for perfect undone texture for my wedding hair. No worries girl! There are plenty of us engaged gals just like you:)

  20. Your post is me to a T. I got engaged a couple of months ago and I want a small, chill wedding. I fundamentally don’t get people that have like 14 bridesmaids and spend half a mil. So, I am thinking simple – chic – champagne!! – but most importantly, sharing with those we love how much we love each other. In my professional life, I am able to tick of a to-do list like it’s nothing. I just cant get amped to do this. Maybe I need to set a date and then I will feel the pressure. I work a lot better under pressure. Cliche, yes; but it’s true.

    Good luck, you are going to be a gorge bride!!

  21. Okay, what you have planned out so far sounds perfect! LOW-KEY!!!! I was never the type of girl who dreamed of her wedding either, and my (now) husband and I just decided one day that we were ready and skipped the whole engagement thing and planned a fun trip to Vegas to get married just the two of us. I wouldn’t have done it any other way. It was the best 3-day-date of my life. We went to the spa for hours, spent all the money we would have on feeding other people at the best restaurants, and stayed in the most amazing suite. It was only about us and each other and it was perfect. Now the actually “ceremony” part was a little strange because theres about 3 people that you’ve never met before, but it’s a hilarious memory and we love it.

    So I don’t have any real “wedding”is advice..but just focus on each other. Keep it all simple! Don’t worry so much about the dress, we will all hate our wedding dresses in ten years anyways. And I completely agree with not wasting your time saying hello and goodbye to a million people, and for the love of God don’t go bankrupt over it! Good luck! You’re onto something here, it will all come to you 😉

    x. Morgan / Morning Apple

  22. I have a wedding planning business and I LOVE weddings…I’ve been obsessed since high school buying wedding magazines and pulling out pages to save but never in all of that did I ever imagine that for myself but here I am 23 days away from my own and I have a giant great dane that was bit by a radioactive spider anxiety monster traipsing about inside me. I don’t have anxiety about marrying my fiance, I’ll sprint down that aisle to marry him but its all the people and the hellos and the expectations that are engraved into all these people…i’m more of a fade to the background kind of girl from the get go.

    Whats been most important to me is feeling like myself (as much as you can in a wedding dress) on that day. I’m wearing my hair down for the ceremony and then putting it in a ponytail because thats how i wear my hair, garter and bouquet toss, nope, not happening. Food, its simple and good and if you don’t like it, honestly, I don’t care…walk yourself to the bar and have another drink and forget about dinner. Bridesmaids pick your own dress, I will not shackle to a chiffon nightmare for $300 that you will never ever wear again.

    Everyone will tell you its your day its your day. Which I’m sure they mean, but their well intended suggestions throughout the process make it feel like its theirs. My favorite line has been, “thanks for the idea but its just not our taste.”

    You are definitely not alone in how you feel. Stick to your guns cuz tranditionsmadition, we build the lives we want! Know that you will end up spending more money than you want but it will be okay, and that there are a bunch of women who feel just like you supporting you on your day!

    Cheers to all the non-brides, anti-bachelorettes, oh hey, I just showed up here, like this, and now i’m getting married type of gals


  23. The wedding is just one day, the marriage is forever. Have a simple and sweet wedding and Invest time and energy and money into the marriage. that was my philosophy and I couldn’t have been happier with how it all turned out. The guests had a fun and relaxed time, my husband and i weren’t stressed out and were able to enjoy ourselves and not be exhausted after the ceremony.

  24. I never dreamed of a wedding either and the only reason I ended up having one is because I’m an only child and I was trying to avoid a ten year guilt trip from my mother. We kept it very small and intimate with only our closest friends and family, but even that was a stressful experience. Everyone had a strong opinions and mile long lists on how we should do things. We actually had to tell a couple of people to f__k off which was very unpleasant since I hate confrontation.

    Our day was beautiful and I’ll never forget it, but even now, I wish we had gone and eloped in the Maldives as we wanted to do in the first place.

    My point to all this is that you will love your day no matter what, but you should go with your gut in how you want it to pan out. Make it what YOU want it to be. Remember, you don’t have to have a wedding to get married.


  25. Not going to lie, I’ve never been one to really have this entire vision of my wedding. I know what kind of vibes I want to give off and that’s about it. As excited as a lot of women are for their weddings, I am more excited for my marriage (whenever I finally find someone to get to that point with, lol) I think a lot of people forget that after your wedding and celebration, you have a marriage that you need to nurture and grow into. Honestly, I feel like you and Michael have a great foundation for that, I’m so excited for you! Hope you’re still healing well!
    xx Nora

  26. This is exactly how I was during my wedding planning. We were 31 and didn’t want to spend so much money for one night.
    We had a destination wedding in Mexico, at an all inclusive resort. We let the beach be our decor 🙂
    20 of our family and closest friends made it, no bridesmaids or groomsmen- just my niece and stepson were in the wedding party.
    A sunset wedding and reception on the beach and we stayed at the resort for our honeymoon after everyone left.
    Easy breezy and I don’t regret it at all.

  27. I feel the exact same way! I have been engaged for 6 months and can’t get into it. I think we are definitely a rare breed when it comes to weddings, but hey that’s ok 🙂 My fiancé and I decided to do something super intimate too, just immediate family. There are people who don’t understand or don’t get why I’m not inviting certain people or having a bigger, more traditional ceremony, but it’s all about YOU and what you want on your special day. I also related a lot on the whole money aspect. I can’t fathom spending insane amounts on things that will only be part of one day. I’d rather spend the money on my honeymoon or on a new house. As always thanks for sharing and keeping it real. I hope you feel better soon! xo

  28. My fiance and I got engaged over 2 years ago… We are getting married this September & it’s been an enjoyable wedding planning process. Each month we checked something off our “to do” list, and some months we skipped wedding planning all together. Our style is effortless California chic – all about quality (food, drinks, music, location) not quantity. We’re looking forward to a fantastic night with our closest family and friends, and not stressing one bit about whether the flowers are in the right place or not. Enjoy being engaged – its a big chapter in anyone’s life & shouldn’t be rushed (in my opinion)! love.

  29. Sounds beautiful 🙂

    I am a wedding planner and honestly, you are a breath of fresh air, like the dream client! I love when a girl can just (literally) let her hair down and make it about her and her new life partner, not the food, and how her mom is going to like things!

    For dresses, I would check out The Dress Theory here in SD.

    And for destination, I imagine something in Mexico. Close enough for family to get to, yet still far enough away so you wont have crashers… haha.

    Check out these awesome venues that I LOVE (For destination, I always suggest airbnb or private residences, because they are SO private and intimate, and not some resort where theres still a million people)


    And Because this place in Palm Springs is gorgeous:

    Let me know if you need any help!

    Totem Weddings & Events

  30. I officially have 30 days until my wedding and I can’t WAIT to get it over with. We wanted to get married in Italy and have a very small intimate gathering, but I’m an only child and my parents begged me to have a wedding in San Diego that they would pay for. How can you say no to that? I should have! Please please please make it about yourselves and don’t let anyone else get involved. I should have listened to my heart but now we are going through the motions of an actual wedding and it’s terrible. It seems like you are on the right track! Go somewhere beautiful that also comes with a wedding planner so you don’t have to think about a thing. It will save you from all the stress and fights that come with a wedding. I wish you lot’s of luck and just focus on Michael. You two are the cutest! Muah xoxo

  31. Hi Lauryn, I decided to focus on a few things that were important to me for the “splurge” and then I saved on all the other things. I knew I wanted a live band and a sit-down dinner with full bar. So I paid for those things, and kept a tighter budget for the extras. I would say you should definitely choose a good photographer and videographer. I didn’t get a video and wish I did. Also, I had 94 people, which is actually a small wedding, and we hardly got around to all the tables at dinner to say hi. Keep it small! 🙂

  32. I’m right there with you. I don’t care about my wedding. I’m not engaged but I’m in a committed, serious relationship and I honestly think he wants a wedding more than me! As for me? I could go to city hall with a photographer to capture the ‘big day’ and call it good. I guess I’m more practical than anything. I’d rather have a great honeymoon and invest in a house.

  33. The best tool I have discovered in planning our wedding is the book and blog called A Practical Wedding. ( Literally a life saver. The authors spend a lot of time giving real advice (i.e. you don’t need to give wedding favors) to more meaningful advice (i.e. what does a ‘more beautiful version of myself’ even mean?). I would so highly commend the book to you first (it’s a really easy read) and then the blog if you have time. I think it puts the wedding into perspective – we always say that he asked me to marry him, not plan a wedding with him, but recognizing that this wedding is a necessary step, we’re trying to keep the big picture and smaller budget in mind. Good luck!

  34. Thank youuuu for being the voice of reason that weddings don’t have to be $7892374 days with insane destination bachelorette parties that will bankrupt all your friends. So over that! Ok, actually, I was never into that, lol. I want to get married in nature (heeey Yellowstone?), at most, just our immediate family, then have a fun party-ish thing with our friends when we get home.

  35. This post is everything (& more)! Reading this post is exactly how I feel about the whole wedding process. I’m at the age where ALL my friends are getting married + having babies and getting SUPER excited about it. & Here I am pinteresting all my favorite honeymoon locations not giving a F about a big fairytale wedding. Would love to see blog posts on your honeymoon planning process since that’s what I am most excited about. xoxo!

  36. Love how you’re trying to keep it simple!. You’re saving yourself from tons of worry (trust me – my brother had a somewhat big wedding and his wife was freaking out up until the minute she walked down the aisle.) My wedding was simple too: my husband and I married next to a brook on my best friend’s farm in Vermont. We selected the local fresh farm foods that were available that spring along with fresh wildflowers of the season . Make a list of what you guys love (i.e. Champagne !) and spend on what you enjoy. We did the same, kept the wedding small and had the time of our lives without breaking the bank! Check out the Anthropologie wedding dress site : I like their aesthetic and prices range from low to high.

  37. You’re definitely not alone with the long engagement, chill pace of planning a wedding. I live in the south so there’s so much pressure to get the ball rolling and have everything planned the second the ring is on hand. So far I’m just looking forward to wedding cake and champagne 🙂

  38. Well, you are not the only one.
    I also don’t have plans on doing a major party around my wedding.
    Keep it simple.

    My Pretty Mess Diary by Joanne Catherine |Bloglovin|

  39. I’m the same way. I soooo wanted to be engaged, but now I’m not so into the wedding part…. All I want is my man, a gorgeous dress and chocolate cake… In that order.

  40. I never dreamt of my wedding as a kid. After 6 years of dating we got engaged and kind of forgot to get it planned for like 1.5 years. I wanted to “elope” and couldn’t get my husband to agree. He threw around Vegas, destination etc. and it was just so…planned and seemed so touristy. Any venue we looked at locally was ridiculous and I really wanted a nice honeymoon. Anyways, we ended up getting married up in the mountains in CO as we live in Denver. Our parents joined us. Then we came home, invited people from out of town (about 35 total) and had a big BBQ with cocktails and pizza from our favorite place for those that traveled. Then we had those same people plus local friends to one of our favorite upscale Mexican restaurants the next night. It didn’t end up cheap necessarily, but it was a good compromise and no plated food to deal with.

  41. “feeding Rose’s mom in Titanic” lol too good and SO true. Let me use a curling wand to get wavy hair, some smudged eyeliner, pink lip gloss and flowers from Trader Joe’s. There’s my wedding! Please share when you do start planning ;]

  42. I loved getting married! But I was never a girl who dreamed of how every plate, centerpiece and flower would look. Getting married actually showed me how decisive I was! I planned my whole wedding in less than 6 months and for me that was perfect. I never felt rushed (even though people told me I was crazy for trying to plan a wedding so quick) and everything just fell into place. My hubby and I had been together since we were 13 (he legit asked me out at our 8th grade Christmas Dance lol) and we were just ready to say ” I Do”.

    My advice, just remember on the day of your wedding, not only our you marrying the man of your dreams but you are also surrounded by all the people who love and support you (and him) the most! That’s pretty much the best damn feeling. So ignore the small things and keep your eye on the prize! lol

    ps hope you are feeling better, that surgery sounds so intense!!

  43. First of all, CONGRATS! You are going to be an absolutely stunning bride (washed hair or not… ;))

    I’m not engaged yet, but I can’t wait to be. I’m like you and haven’t planned out a single second of my wedding (except alcohol and desserts…plenty of each). I think it’s smart that you haven’t completely gone ham on planning your wedding. I feel like there are SO many cool ideas on Pinterest, insta, etc, and it can be overwhelming. Not every idea goes together or is right for your wedding. Just do you and focus on the love between you and your man candy, and everything will be stunning and perfect. LOVE YOU!!

  44. You’re definitely not the only one! My fiancé and I got engaged October of last year, we’ve literally planned NOTHING. Just last weekend we through together an engagement party finally haha. Mexican finger foods (street tacos, small burritos, chips and gauc) and skinny margs. it was so perfect and relaxing that we’re thinking of just repeating it for the wedding.
    Totally would rather put money into a future home instead of a dress or decorations 🙂
    Who has time to think about planning a wedding haha

  45. Lauryn – I know you don’t think so but you actually have a TON planned out. You are just letting it happen organically, rather than forcing it, and you will see, like how TSC blossomed to the business of your dreams, your wedding will do the same.

    A few weekends ago, I had to go way out of town for a wedding my boyfriend was in. He got there on Tuesday, and I got there on Friday – well on Tuesday, rather than having a “bachelor party”, the groom spent those days with the guys who came in (most of us cross-country) and had three full days of guy time. No strippers, clubs, etc., but more like golfing, breweries, scotches, and dinners. Then, the day before – they went out with the bridal party for dinner and a winery. I thought that was a perfect way to go about it. If you do a destination wedding, you could EASILY implement that. Have your girls come in early, then have poolside cold pressed mimosas, lymphatic massages, and dinners. . The wedding ceremony itself was at a Botanical garden, in the Rose Garden, and it was pretty dreamy, with the reception being in the courtyard. I know they are all over different cities so who knows? Also, Cabo is so special for you two, so that could be another to consider! Portland, OR has an international rose garden with over 10,000 different varietals. It is STUNNING and that city is so, so, so fun with some of the best restaurants.

    I am not married, but I already have it planned (sounds crazy but hear me out) – I decided the wedding is just about me and him, so we would have a private beach side wedding of just the two of us (maybe a photographer to capture it). Then throw a few parties to celebrate after. It’s kind of a fancier way of eloping? I don’t know, but that’s also why I like the Honeymoon idea, because it’s just the two of y’all. Like you, I’d rather invest the money in my future, rather than one day. But ya, that’s what I have planned.

    Stone Cold Fox is launching their bridal line this month so I am sure you will find some gorgeous options. Free People has some good ones, and honestly, check out Etsy! You might find a hidden treasure.

    Anyways, sorry for writing you a NOVEL, but wanted to share some thoughts/ideas with you. Best of luck with planning, and I hope you are healing well. <3 xx

  46. I got married 2 years ago and felt EXACTLY the same way that you did. I wanted to look and feel like myself (not like I was in a costume playing dress up) and I wanted it to be small and intimate and meaningful. I felt like I didn’t fit the “bride” role at all…. so I didn’t do it.

    It’s hard to create something new, since there are so many RULES out there… but it is possible. My biggest pieces of advice are: stick to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t do it (even if people start making noise… which they will). I didn’t want to do a registry, I felt weird telling people what to buy me & I wanted meaningful gifts. EVERYONE told me this would be a disaster but it was one of our best decisions FOR US.

    Also, I went to two bridal salons and then quickly gave up on the whole “wedding dress” thing… instead I spent a glamorous day of shopping at Barneys and Bergdorf Goodman (I live in NYC) and bought a drop dead gorgeous long white Giambattista Valli dress. If you start looking at designers ready to wear collections you will be AMAZED at how many white dresses they have… and a RTW Valentino or Oscar de la Renta or Chloe or Calvin Klein (etc) dress is wayyyyyy cheaper than your average wedding dress. Also check out Net A Porter online for their wedding dresses. They have some gorgeous non-princess options. If you buy it in person at a designer’s shop or at someplace like Bergdorf, they will tailor it to you so you will have a perfect fit. I feel like I had the most beautiful wedding dress in the world… AND I felt like myself….

    Lastly, I opted to get married on the 4th of July – on a rooftop in Manhattan so we could all eat outside and watch the fireworks and sip mojitos. This kept the event relaxed and fun and not too wedding-y… and we did food trucks for our rehearsal dinner and they were great, so I definitely approve of your in-n-out idea 🙂 Oh, and we worked with our favorite local restaurant to cook our dinner on site, so that we didn’t serve our guests awful catering food… this just meant that we had to hire waiters and rent linens/dishes from a different company rather than getting an easy (and boring) all-in-one catering package. It was a little more complicated, but was SO worth it.

    Good luck! Trust your instincts and you will be so happy
    xoxo T

  47. This is MY life!!! I have been engaged for three years because I was never in any rush, nor did I want to plan or have time to plan my wedding. It’s like everytime I started I got overwhelmed and nothing I wanted. I thought I was soooo weird since everyone around me was just so excited for me and wanted to plan the whole thing, and I wanted nothing to do with it. Hence why we’re still engaged. I’m
    Just not sure how to even start without getting freaked out. And wedding planners, tried two, and they’re even more scary. I also glad I am not alone in this. But is three years too long!?

  48. Also…. Hire Britt Chudleigh as your photographer. She is a GENIUS and an angel and makes women look beautiful.

  49. Totally related to all of this! Simple, intimate and relaxed are definitely 3 words I’d want for my wedding too. Have you checked out There are some wildly styled shoots but in the mix are relaxed, effortless, beautiful, real weddings. This site has given me a lot of inspiration and validated my same feelings as you have described above.

  50. I used to be hardcore princess bride obsessed, as I’ve gotten older I’m more like you about weddings. The funny part is, my parents and grandparents eloped. My grandparents were hopelessly devoted to each other for 57 years and my parents have been married 27 years.
    Now I just want to wear a sexy dress that reminds the guy why he married me, eat my favorite food (kale Cesar salads, Mac and cheese, lobster), dance, have great pictures, party with the people my future kids will actually know by name, and marry the man I love.
    Love your honesty, as always!

  51. This was totally me! I was not excited about the wedding. The engagement and the honeymoon were where it was at. Everything was very low key. We did a bbq and finger foods. No one wants to sit down and wait for the party, and that’s what a wedding is supposed to be right? A celebration of you and Michael. Find photos that you love and draw inspiration. If it’s you and you’re having fun, all of your guests will too!

  52. I would say small and intimate is the best way to go. We were married in Turks and Caicos and were able to spend so much quality time with those that really meant the world to us and each other. I have been at big weddings and people did not even know the grooms name. DID.NOT.EVEN.KNOW.THE.GROOMS.NAME. Don’t sweat all the small details because in the end it really does not matter. I would say surround yourself with the people you love, good food, and drinks…the ingredients to a perfect wedding.

    It sounds to me Cabo just may be your spot…

  53. I was the SAME way. I never really thought I would get married so I didn’t have this brain bank of things I wanted or how I pictured it. After about one week- I decided that wedding planning just was not any fun and I wanted to ENJOY being engaged. Luckily my husband and mom planned THE WHOLE thing. Literally the only things I picked were the photographer and videographer (a husband/wife team) and the first dance song because…music. It was perfect because I could just enjoy the day and if something went wrong, I had no clue. He did an amazing job as you can see here:

    1. I also had no showers or bridal parties or any of that. And I picked my dress the week before. For Love and Lemons. 250$ and totally comfortable. It was basically like I had a killer party to go to.

  54. I am 100% with you on all of this. Chilled vibes, simple food and tight friends would definitely make for an awesome wedding. I could see that being so you too! I can’t wait to see what you decide on.
    xx, Pia

  55. My husband and I recently married in Tavarua, Fiji. It’s a really special place for us and I’ve been going there for years. Only our immediately family came, and it was EVERYTHING. I had zero wedding planning stress and everyone was amazed that I was “such a relaxed bride” (as I’m normally such a planner & all around basketcase) We had a super fun party with all of our friends when we got home with delicious Mexican food, great music & good booze. Plus we saved SOOO.MUCH.MONEY!
    Everyone I’ve talked to has said if they could do their wedding over again- they’d run off and do it on a beach somewhere!

  56. Makes perfect sense to me… I’ve been with my guy 14 years and 3 kids. Poor guy asked me twice but I still can’t get it together to set date/details. The whole fuss makes me cringe. Ive always been more into our relationship/family/building wealth.. Felt that way in my 20’s when everyone was getting married and now at 34 I still do. (half of them are divorced anyway. Maybe they got more caught up in the idea of wedding rather than the two of them. But I would love to celebrate now the two of us and have our kids part of it…something small… totally get you.

  57. I feel ya gurl. I just had my wedding 4 weeks ago and did not enjoy the planning process one bit! Everyone thought I was such a weirdo. The day was beautiful and in the end, it was all worth it, but I would never, ever want to go through that again. So much unnecessary stress on top of everything else going on in life.

    My advice… keep it simple. Keep it focused on you two and the things YOU love. People will remember the couple, the music, the food, the drinking, the dancing. All the other details will be forgotten, so don’t stress over them. Take your time planning. Make it a goal to cross one big thing off of your to-do list a month. For every annoying thing you have to do (guest list, addresses, etc.) do something fun (food/cake tasting). It will make the process way more enjoyable if you mix it up. Good luck!

  58. I was the SAME way. Plus I was studying for the bar and couldn’t be bothered.

    We had a destination wedding in Mexico… low key dress… my favorite people… awesome bartender. One of my girlfriends did my makeup – only thing I really cared about was the photographer. Everyone still tells me it was the best weekend :).

  59. Omg did I write this??? I’m knee-deep in wedding planning right now and I’m feeling the exact same way. A lot of what your vision for yours is (small, intimate, ZEN, destination) is what I’m planning also. We’re getting married in the mountains in Telluride and I’m having to over and over dial BACK to my plan of simplicity and zen. I love that!!! So excited for you & Michael. Remember our fiancees sitting in the corner of Blo in Austin playing games?! Haha too funny. <3

  60. I was the same way when planning my wedding! Check out for wedding dresses! I absolutely adored mine 🙂

  61. So I just got married about three weeks ago! Like you, I hadn’t really dreamed of what it would be like and I didn’t really do a lot of “planning” per se on my vision. I think it’s good that you have a “theme” that you want – neutral, effortless chic – because that’s how I chose what I wanted without knowing exactly what I was going for. In the end, I had a big, princessy dress and elegant, fairytale features, but I did have some smaller personalized things that were uniquely us.

    Definitely suggest a smaller, boutique type place if you haven’t gotten “the dress” yet – they give you way more attention and they’re more honest with you on what kind of dress you look best in.

    Good luck, Lauryn! I know your wedding is going to be perfect.

  62. Re: dresses

    from what your described, I think you would have some great luck trying bridesmaids dresses. My sister did that for her outdoor, low key wedding. She got a beautiful white, long bridesmaids dress and it was perfect (not to mention much cheaper!)

  63. I’ve been engaged for a little over a year, just bought my first wedding magazine YESTERDAY…

    Slow and steady wins the race, right? Haha.

  64. I felt the same way as you about weddings. Totally wanted to be married; ambivalent about weddings. The best money I spent was on a wedding planner. Real talk. Also, good advice is to make decisions for you (the couple) and don’t try to accommodate everyone.

  65. Hi L,

    I was exactly the same way with my wedding. I recently had a small 65 person destination wedding in Mexico- However, it did not start this way, I had to create the idea- as you said. I’m not into traditional wedding anything, therefore I did not have any of the showers or parties, etc. “No gifts” was the theme throughout our engagement period and wedding. My ‘non-bachelorette’ party consisted of three other best girlfriends and we did a weekend of Shamanic work where we found our spirit animals, did reiki, angel readings, etc. An entire weekend led by a shaman- fantastic and totally me.
    I wore my hair down with loose, falling out curls and a Free People white boho maxi dress. SO gorgeous, but technically not a wedding gown. Find something unique like that! Free People and Stone Cold Fox make fab pieces for brides. My wedding decor was almost a snapshot of my home decor with a few twists- all thanks to Etsy. Think white, gold, netrual only. Paper was another theme of mine, with the same color scheme- we stood in front of a huge hanging paper flower backdrop, my bridal bouquet and maids were all paper, paper fans were passed out to each guest, gold table confetti on vintage square beachwood tables with huge oversized candles as center pieces, a champagne bar with bar cart art prints, gold swizzle sticks, etc.
    My point to you is- you already do all of this everyday. In your professional and personal life. Find the things that you love, love how they look and make that into your wedding. Don’t start with the thought of “I have to plan a wedding.” You’ll never get into it that way. Plan a gorgeous party scene where you create the vibe and look of it and turn that into YOUR wedding.

    I am happy to share the sites I used on Etsy or share some photos with you. Ask me anything you may need.

    Your fan,


  66. I never thought about weddings when I was little so I understand. I just kind of thought of it as a big party for my family and friends that I got to throw and focused on everyone having a fun time. My fiance wanted nothing to do with it so planning fell on me which was a bit stressful….but at least I ended up with what I wanted. For food….we did bbq and it was freaking awesome. We had three apps: bbq wontons, tomato, mozzarella, pork and then corn fritters. Dinner was a huge salad with veggies, brisket and pulled pork, a ton of different veggie options and potatoes bravos. People still tell us that it was the best food and I think that’s because it was fun and not fancy. Relax and have fun planning. Just remember, its a fun day with family and friends and its about celebrating love with your sweetie. That’s not too bad.

  67. YESSSS to everything about this post! I had so many of the same feelings. My favorite part was picking out my dress, getting to see my friends more that year, + honeymooning. We hired a planner because I couldn’t get it together…so, that’s an option?! Additionally, hair down…always.

  68. Love everything about this post! What you said about being able to really soak it all in is so important. We had about 150 guests at our wedding and it was overwhelming trying to get around to see everyone and say hello. I think being able to keep it intimate and personal is so important because you will always cherish the memories of that day. There is so much pressure these days to have the “perfect” wedding and it’s nice to hear that your more concerned with the marriage than the big fancy wedding. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you married your best friend 🙂 Hope you get well soon! xx

  69. I really understand what you are talking about! I was so happy to be engaged with the love of my life, but i didn’t want to have any classic wedding at all! All those plans, decorations, guest…I just didn’t want to think about it. So we made a destination wedding in the Carribean only for us two! And it was our most so romantic and beautiful trip!

  70. Soul animal. Same with us, we decided on a coffeeshop wedding on NYE, so more of a small party with a side of a wedding.. Other than that nothing is planned really…

    Except dress, I’m thinking sequined bronze maxi skirt? White plain top. Hair down, maybe a wave… But traditional Indian bridal henna is a must… Not Indian, but it’s supposed to be goodluck? I just know it’s damn pretty.

    Sending zen,

  71. Lauryn, you are my spirit animal… thank you for this post I am in the same boat and feel EXACT the same way. You just took a weight off my shoulders with this… Wishing you a speedy recovery and stress free planning xo

  72. I picked three things I cared about (for me it was: The DJ, the food and the wine) and the rest I just went with what I saw first/liked first. Safeway makes cakes? Sure! What flowers are in bloom in April? Went with those. Couldn’t care less about most of the decorations/details and the day went perfect!

  73. I was never the girl who had every detail of her wedding planned since she was 12, complete with a wedding scrapbook either, but once I actually got into it, planning ended up being really fun! I went for budget-friendly, classic/elegant, but with a lot of unique touches that fit our personalities perfectly. That’s what ended up making it a blast! I think NOT knowing exactly what I wanted kept the pressure down, because I wasn’t searching for details I’d been dreaming for forever, if that makes sense. I was more able to go with the flow- aka zen bride- too 😉

  74. Girl we are the same. My boyf and I have been engaged for over a year now and we’re in no rush. Our lives have been in constant change since the engagement, between moving states, new jobs, house buying, etc we’ve come to see the day we get married as the complete end and beginning of a new chapter in our lives. Hella corny but still true. LOL.

    But as far as the honeymoon, our trip to Amsterdam is all paid for and ready to go because we do need to get married eventually hahaha but if we don’t at least we have a cool trip to look forward to 😉

  75. Hi Lauryn,

    Love your blog btw! I’m with ya on the whole not being TOO overboard excited about the wedding / wedding planning. I just got married 2 weeks ago in Greece to keep it as intimate as possible and honestly it was the best decision I could have made in regards to the wedding. We had 56 people and each person had a personal relationship with us so there was none of that formal chit chat that wastes the whole night away.

    Having a group of people who make their presence comfortable at your wedding is the best gift you can give yourself on your wedding day. You will be fully in the moment rather spending half the time making rounds.

    Lastly, if you’re doing destination chances are you do not need a single thing when it comes to decor. Well, maybe some candles and whatnot but natural beauty will have that effortless vibe a lot more than tchachki decor.

    Looking forward to seeing pics of your day and good luck with everything! Enjoy.



  76. I was totally the same way-wanted a smaller wedding so I could enjoy the day and not have to mingle with a million people. We got married in my mom’s yard, it was a perfect mix of not too casual and not too fancy. I used my mom’s dress and had it tailored so it was knee length and sleeveless. Everyone was surprised at how relaxed I was-that was the whole point! I wanted it to be a fun, relaxing day for everyone. Good for you for doing what you want and not buying into the huge wedding business. It is one day, it goes fast, and there is no point in spending tons and tons of money on it. Good luck with the planning, and just enjoy the process and the engagement!

  77. My fiancé and I are doing a destination wedding in Hawaii. The best part is that, the location is so beautiful, you don’t need much else! We’re totally financially responsible for our wedding and like you, did not want to invite a ton of people- both to save money, and to curate a relaxed, fun environment. I’m totally on board with your approach. I will say, once you get started on planning.. It becomes a lot of fun! The cocktail and food tastings have been super enjoyable (and delicious). Anyway, good luck and congrats!! Can’t wait to see how it turns out.

  78. I think figuring out what you want is the hardest part. And I love that you’re keeping it very much you two. I feel like I’ve had so many friends or relatives that get so caught up with the “over the top wedding” they loose themselves in it. You’re wedding so far sounds like it’s going to be absolutely perfect!

  79. for destination wedding I HIGHLY recommend Kauai, particularly the north shore! Soo many private little beaches that would be a beautiful backdrop to a small intimate wedding + the mellow, kick-back vibe of the island is just insane… Good luck!

  80. I am not married or engaged (got a great bf though!), but trust you are not alone in this. I do know from friends that you want to feel like you. I have had many people tell me they wish they wore their hair down or up or more comfortable shoes or got to actually taste the amazing chicken that was being served. Sounds like how you’re feeling is perfectly on par with having the most amazing wedding ever!

    xo Annie

  81. You are smart to recognize the day is about YOU and your MAN. No one else. And it isn’t a performance. I got hitched at a cute little chapel in Las Vegas, and I didn’t invite anyone. (Sorry mom and dad!) it was so fun and we had a blast and rose out our spiritual wedding high with lots of free champagne from random nice ppl in Vegas. A few monthes later, I bought my first house at the age of 23, because I didn’t low my life savings in a party. We did throw a fun casual outdoor summery party a few monthes later to celebrate with family and friends, but it was super chill and totally unstructured. I have never regretted a thing! Keep it simple and enjoy this special time with your man!

  82. We had 23 people in Cabo at a private home. I wore BCBG (with Zanotti sandals…I’m not a complete animal) and my hair down with a simple braid. We had individual tequila bottle shots with a taco chaser. And it was absolutely perfect. Do it for you and your husband, and screw everyone else

  83. This is why we are friends. ❤️ Adam and I had a grilled cheese bar, salad bar, and fajita bar at our reception. People could choose their own ingredients-It was perfect. We also had a couple signature cocktails-tequila for adam (zufferita) and a carlypolitan which was just vodka, lemon and a splash of cran. Made it special. Also mini cupcakes instead of an enormous cake. We had tiny cake to cut just for fun.

  84. Oh my gosh I totally get it! I e-mailed my best friend yesterday questioning what’s wrong with me because I am not AT ALL excited about the planning process. I could literally show up to get married at a surprise location in a casual dress without any friends or family and be 100% happy.

    Personally we didn’t want to deal with any of the hoopla and wanted a day just about us and the celebration of our life together so we are having a private ceremony at the gorgeous SF City Hall in December. Just our parents and a photographer. (Sadly our Puggle is NOT allowed and I’m having a tough time with that reality.) People have varying opinions of this decision but ultimately who really cares? The day should be about celebrating your marriage however YOU GUYS want to. Everyone I talk to says if they could do it again they’d do it smaller and more casual so they could really enjoy the day with the people that matter most to them.

    I’m doing my own makeup and having Dry Bar come in and put some wave in my hair the day off and being done with it. I’ve tried to get myself excited about getting dolled up but it just isn’t me. And I’m totally on your wavelength about highlights. My colorist and I came up with a plan for perfectly grown out, low maintenance highlights so I avoid zebra striped hair on the day of.

    Now I think this general way of thinking about a wedding puts us in the minority but ultimately you have to do what feels right to you.

  85. I totally agree! Some weddings are so huge and over the top and stressful that you forget what you are even celebrating! Small destination weddings are the way to go. You should check out Letspartyinvitations on instagram. They have really chic and classy invitations and they are based in LA!

    Hope you are feeling better!

  86. Does NOT sound pathetic at all. I am so excited for you and your fiance! You two are such a gorgeous couple and I wish the best for you two! BTW the dress is literally my goals for prom!

  87. I was in the same boat as you a couple of years ago. Destination is the way to go! We got married on a little island on the coast of Puerto Rico called Vieques with very close friends and family (about 12 in total) and it was everything my now husband and I wanted. All we brought was ourselves, my dress, and his suit and we had an event coordinator at the W resort there take care of everything else. It was absolutely perfect for us. No fuss and more time to focus on each other, which is really what the day should be about anyway.

    I am sure everything will turn out beautifully for your wedding no matter what you decide and you will make one gorgeous bride!

  88. I couldn’t agree with you more! I’ve never been the type to have pretend weddings when I was young, no Pinterest boards, no daydreams of my future wedding. I’m starting from scratch when the day comes and I totally admire your attitude towards yours. Not to mention, your idea of your wedding sounds exactly the way I’ll go about mine- small and intimate. Congrats on your engagement and soon-to-be wedding! xx


    This dress used to have to option of white lace, but doesn’t anymore. It’s possible to request it since they’re made specifically to your measurements. Anyway, Bona Drag is my former coworkers online boutique that she started over 10 years ago at her house in Encinitas. She moved back home to Milwaukee joined by her Aussie friend Hannah (she actually makes this dress) a few years ago.

  90. I 100% feel you. I planned our San Diego wedding while living in Tokyo. I just didnt care about who cares what forks there are?! And chairs? I want …normal chairs? I bought my dress over Skype with my mom at JCrew. I just wanted our family and friends to celebrate with us, its the only detail that matters!!!!!!!!! I felt like a dead beat bride the whole time! Don’t stress …just make it reflect you guys!!

  91. I feel you, i’m the same way about my wedding, except my brother’s fiance is the complete opposite, she’s your typical super excited bride pinning away. Best advice, hire a planner. I love mine, i feel like i don’t have to do anything but give her ideas and a budget. With how busy you are i’d hire a planner 🙂

  92. After getting engaged a year ago, everyone kept asking what our plans were, and in the beginning I felt the pressure to plan a detailed wedding even though our budget wouldn’t allow it. I’m so glad I got over that stage. We are getting married in 3 months and we are having a backyard wedding filled with homemade beer, red cups, a bomb-ass playlist, and using olive branches from the yard as decor. Then spending the money on what really matters- The Honeymoon. It’s been the most laid back, wonderful, stress free experience and you can actually enjoy the engagement. Plus I purchased my dress online- no regrets. Major props to your approach.

  93. I married my husband in our backyard. it was intimate because hey how many peeps can you fit in a typical backyard? seating was picnic style long tables no seating chart. we had BBQ awesomeness that was endless so everyone stuffed themselves and then had a surprise parade in the street (a second line band from New Orleans, where I used to live) which everyone loved and it made it super unique and special to us. also, I rented my wedding dress from for less than 200$ because hey you only wear it once right? then I changed into a short white dress from Anthropologie very bohemian look. and no veil I just had white orchids in my hair which totally stand up to heat and long wear throughout the day. good luck planning I hope this helps a little!

  94. Planning my wedding was one of the least favorite times of my life. After the whole “you may now kiss the bride” moment was over, I actually turned to my husband and said “Wow, this really wasn’t worth all the money and stress.” We joke about it now. Wedding planning brought out the worst in everyone around me, too. Sounds like you have a great plan tho – a plan I wish I had made myself. But yeah. If you like being engaged, you’ll love being married. Just have to get through the wedding first. 🙂 XOXO

  95. Cutting down our list was the hardest part. What we ended up doing was prioritizing our close family and friends, the people who had actually witnessed our relationship grow. If we couldn’t picture a person one of our parents suggested in our minds, they shouldn’t be there because we wouldn’t even be able to engage and thank them properly. While our wedding didn’t end up being very small, all the people who were there had been a part of our journey.

  96. Wow you are seriously a girl after my own heart. We had a very small and intimate wedding on a beach where we had our first date. My husband proposed to me on a Tuesday and we got married that Saturday haha! Next year we are going to Paris to renew our vows for our 15 year anniversary! (I’m not that old I just got married young ) How about a destination wedding in Maui!!! I volunteer as tribute to be your makeup artist, photographer and tour guide! I can also recommend some great wedding vendors to you as well. I travel frequently back and forth between TX & Maui

  97. We love this post! Pathetic, no–absolutely NOT! It’s all about enjoying every moment in your relationship and celebrating every step of the way. It’s so important, and a lot of couples forget how awesome being engaged is!! It sounds like you know exactly what you want your wedding to feel like and now it comes down to location… And a planner to help you with some ideas. Lots of exciting times ahead–honeymoon planning included 🙂 xx


  98. Ha, loved this post! I’m not married, or engaged, but I am DEFFOES gonna be a zen bride – aaaaall about the honeymoon. P.S. The dress you’re trying on in that photo is a keeper! Keep up the planning 😉 Lots of love, Andrea xxx

    Andrea’s Passions

  99. Ah, I totally loved this post and your ever refreshing honesty!

    I didn’t even have a big wedding (we were limited to 60 guests for the ceremony room and only went up to 90 or so for the eve) yet I still had that sense of not being able to speak to everyone properly. And I do somewhat regret spending so much money on the one day and that dress I’ll never wear again. We joke about how it would’ve been if we’d just run away and done it in Berlin, but we shouldn’t really grumble as all went well!

    Oh and I’m totally with you on the root-age, after my last batch of highlights – my first in five months! – I really missed my dark bits. Thinking you must have a secret bit of Brit or Aussie in you, as most US gals seem so critical of roots!


  100. Oh Em Gee totally
    I couldn’t agree more, mine is in exactly 3 months and I still don’t have a dress. I hate pouffy, mermaidish, train, heavy I just want simple and affordable but I want designer and not Vera Wang or Monique L’huilier I want McQueen or Eli Saab or Valentino and at the same I don’t wanna spend a fortune. As for the details I would’ve love if it was at Red Lobster or Chipotle with good drinks honestly I couldn’t care less.

  101. I feel ya. I’ve had the keep it simple goal in mind as well. Though when you do start looking at bridal mags and going to dress shops it is easy to get coaxed into the idea of it all. It starts turning into a real life barbies dream house and I just remind myself to rein it in. Like I went dress shopping and even though I came in with an idea, the attendant started pulling all of this fluffy princess stuff that was fun to wear but never what I set out for. So now I’ve slept on it and am going to back into the dress shop and pull what I want. So it comes in waves, you just have to remind yourself not to get swept away. 🙂

  102. Haha this is just too perfect! Agree with everything. It will all unfold perfectly, I’m sure!

  103. Girlfriend, that was a good little brainstorm! I am sure it helped you to get all your ideas written down and organized in one place. Sounds like it´s going be a fantastic wedding!


  104. Loved reading this! I thought I WAS the only girl who did not get excited about planning a wedding. My husband proposed to me on March 13th (my b-day) and we were married on April 24th (of the same year). I let my Mom do everything. I didn’t really care about the dress and opted for non-traditional, slightly slutty number – hahah! We were married in an intimate setting in Balboa Park and had the reception in my parents backyard – also with a keg 🙂 22 years later we are still married and still best friends. Enjoy YOUR day, make it all about you two and don’t get hung up on the deets. XOXO

  105. I was completely the same when I planned our wedding, wanted to keep it as stress free as possible and actually everyone having a good time was more important to me than how expensive/huge my dress was which is why good food, a super fun DJ and an amazing string quartet that played Michael Jackson and Led Zeppelin for us were my main priorities. We just chose things that a) meant a lot to us and b) we LOVED, and a theme kind of just happened and on the day it ended up being so emotional, heartfelt and FUN because it was everything and everyone we loved all rolled in to one. Seriously if I could go back and do it all again I would. So I suppose my advice is, guests will have fun with good food drinks and music, but choose what the 2 of you like – its your day after all, everyone there will have a great time regardless and a year on I can totally say it was worth it (and the time it took to plan – we took 18 months and did it slowly). Plus if you’re looking for honeymoon destinations Santorini is where we spent ours and I would highly recommend it (though I am UK based so it was only a 4 hour flight).

  106. Everytime I read one of your posts I’m just like, “YASSSSS!!! This girl could be my BFF!” Hahahaha. I just love your outlook in that it’s very similar to mine. Simplicity is best. You are going to be the most effortless chic bride!

  107. Definitely keep it simple. My husband and I got married in a field on his parent’s farm and invited 8 people (immediate family only). It was a little extreme, but I remember when we started talking about getting married I asked if it was weird that I wanted to marry him but didn’t want a wedding. So, we found a solution and kept it super small. We got married in the fall and had a reception the following summer, so I was able to wear my dress twice!

    What you’re thinking sounds like it will be perfect for the two that really matter on that day.

  108. you need to check out for chic, minimal wedding dresses! I think the Alana gown would look amazing on you!

  109. I’m getting married in under two weeks, and I think your approach is fabulous. I’ve been with my fiancée for four years, and IMMEDIATELY after he proposed he said he wanted to get married in July of the next year (he proposed on Christmas 2014). 7 months should be enough time, but wow it was way more than either of us thought it was. This could be due to our age (I’m 20 he’s 23) but from what our older friends are telling us it’s fairly normal. I mean, you guys moved in together fairly recently too, and that’s awesome because that is a transition in and of itself. Engagement, to me, seems like one giant in your face transition 24/7. Plus, you’re being super realistic with the whole thing: not everyone in the whole damn world has to be there, it truly isn’t worth stressing yourself out over (like we did), and anyone who is actually important isn’t going to give two cents about the food. Keep being zen!

  110. Oh, loved reading this.
    My sister got married last year and kinda thought the same.
    Reading all of this, you might love an bavarian wedding.
    We enjoy wine, like a lot, dance, drink beer, eat simple but amazing food.
    My sister was a simple vintage wedding in an old restaurant and with the most amzing vintage dress.
    for her bachlorette party we had a huge ass brunch in my backyard, a little fun city tour, food tasting and ate in a brazilian restaurant which was super fun, and ended it with karoke. It was all about enjoying her favourite things with her favourite ladys.
    Here are some pics of her wedding.

    Can’t wait to hear more about your wedding! Keep thinking about it, one day, everythings suddenly falls into place.

  111. I have some recommendations for you! I went to an amazing destination wedding at the Resort at Pedregal. It was actually called Capella Pedregal when I went but has recently changed ownership. The vibe was exactly what you’re asking for. Sea bass taco buffet, mini funfetti cupcakes, endless champagne, and the best Mexican sunset you could dream of. I am not sure if you can get an in and out truck over the border but it’s worth a try! If you’re looking to stay stateside I suggest Ojai Valley Inn. Less passport, same beauty.
    My favorite craft cocktail aficionados are Snake Oil Cocktails. We work with them in San Diego and I didn’t believe in magic until I saw them free hand sugar dust the top foam of a martini with a company logo. They have flair and a unique pizzazz to them.

    Happy Planning! I am sure your wedding is going to be gorgeous!

  112. Hi Lauryn, you sound just like me. I just got married and had the exact same mindset. I did a majority of my wedding planning 48 hours in advance! As simple as I wanted it, I was still surprised by the amount of time, money, and effort needed! Luckily I have a big helpful family who did things like make a cake and a playlist the day before the wedding! Decor we kept super simple, all white with tons of candles and palm leaves (that were literally cut from canyons!) Carried a magnolia from my neighbor’s tree for my bouquet. My hair hadn’t been washed in a few days and I ran a wand through it about 5 mins before I needed to leave my house. I got my dress from a Katie May sample sale. They have simple backless dresses. Stone Cold Fox makes beautiful wedding dresses as well (but you probably know this.) Loved looking at The Lane for inspiration. I think having a destination wedding will make it easier. Now we are on a 5 week honeymoon in SE Asia — the best part! Good luck. It will be beautiful.

  113. Congrats!!!
    Good for you for knowing exactly how you want it to be. That’s already a huge plus. And a big step! It’ll all fall in place and that attitude will just allow you to enjoy all of it in small doses, which is perfect. When the planning gets out of hand, you really miss out on the best parts!
    That dress up there looks amazing on you and I can even show you a place you can get an invite that looks just like the bottom of the dress. That is if you are sending out invites!
    Enjoy it!
    Making the night about your hubby will make it the most memorable night for the both of you (especially if he’s making the night about you as well)
    All the best!!!

  114. I’m doing a destination wedding on 9.24.16 in Cabo. I’m not involved in the process at all really, which I’m happy about. We all have full time jobs, and it’s a lot of work! As long as there’s booze and everyone is having a good time that’s all that matters. We invited 90 people (too many) but so far we only have about 35 we have actually put down their deposit and we are both TOTALLY okay with that many people! Fingers crossed it stays that way, I’m thinking it will. I’m excited to put together little “care” packages for our guests in their rooms( instead of favors). Good luck to you….id recommend an all inclusive resort as it’s definitely the most cost effective in my opinion.

  115. The dress is BEYOND gorgeous. It looks like my dream prom dress! Anyways, I think you have a great plan of action. The wedding, after all, is not the most important part of the marriage. It’s the relationship.

  116. I just got engaged a month ago and I feel the same way! I like being engaged but not into planning a wedding therefore I’m going to Chill for about another month. Spending so much money and energy on one day makes no sense that’s why I’m doing a destination wedding and going big on honey moon. So it’s basically two vacations in one lol! Most importantly getting in shape and looking amazing in the dress is my main focus. Your thoughts are mine exactly and don’t feel weird at all about it! If people come they come if not no bad feelings and just have fun!

  117. I hate weddings. People didn’t believe how much until I got engaged after being with someone for 11 years and refused to plan one. They actually thought I would change my mind and want a special day and tone called a bride. HAHA! Were they ever wrong. My wedding is going to have 0 guests, 0 flowers, 0 white dresses, 0 aisles and 0 cake. We hired a $50 witness/photographer to take a few candids. The ceremony is literally 2 minutes long. “Do you do-yep.” Done. I’m so sick of women saying oh I could NEVER do that! YES YOU CAN LADIES! No one even likes to go to wedding it’s a huge waste of money. I’m frikin excited to sign my paper have a nice dinner for 2 and go on with my life. Don’t give into the bridal industry.

  118. what dress are you wearing in this photo!? its stunning and i’m about to start my wedding dress shopping. any advice on wedding dress boutiques to try in the san diego / los angeles areas?

  119. Good Day,

    Very nice article published on your Theskinnyconfidential Site. Really enjoyed reading the post about A Pathetic Attempt At A Wedding Update. Thanks for sharing!

  120. Maltese Dreams is a popular wedding planning company in Maui. Founded by wedding planning and photography extraordinaire, Josie Maltese who has been in the wedding planning industry since 1986, the company offers wedding planning services including unique venues, wedding consultation and photography.

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