A Follow Up Post

quote

Warning: I come with LOTS of questions!

On that note: How are you using today to cultivate a happy, healthy life? What situations or chores are you doing daily that don’t really serve you? And most importantly, how are you adjusting instead of staying stagnant?

Recently I wrote a post called “Stop Doing Shit You Hate.” And well, this is kind of a part 2.

Firstly, I’m not a full-blown expert on this subject, I’m just sharing what’s worked well ( & not so well… ) for me in hopes that maybe it inspires something in you. & for the record, don’t forget that you guys also have shared a TON of tips/advice & I’ve applied it to specific aspects of my life too. So I guess our relationship is a win/win, right?

When I read the above quote I immediately thought of the part 1 post I wrote about doing shit you hate. I thought to myself “I wonder how many people went back to doing shit they hated after reading the post.”

Is this a weird thought?

It’s certainly not because I think my words are holier than thou & should promote an immediate, swift change. It’s more having to do with the fact that I’m curious about what it takes to actually make a change.

What will it take for someone to quit that job they hate working for the boss they hate in the office they hate? What will it take for a writer to stop doing that 9 to 5 PR job to really pursue writing? What will it take that girl who’s stuck in an extremely toxic relationship to break up with that guy who treats her like crap? What will it take for someone to say NO to that person they really don’t want to grab a drink with?

I guess my question is when does enough become enough?

I have had points in my life where enough is enough & I’m done. Just done. I suppose I’m kind of black & white that way. I’m on or I’m off, like a switch. Total Gemini.

When I think back at those breaking points in my life where enough was enough I can remember one distinct thing I did every time: I made lists ( pro & cons, compared them, & adjusted them to make myself comfortable…because the distress was not worthy in my life ).

Anyway, a lot of you have e-mailed me about breaking away from specific jobs or lifestyles that aren’t serving you anymore. This post is for YOU.

You are in control of what happens in your life. No one but YOU.

So if you’re in a situation that doesn’t serve you anymore, I encourage you to do the work to remove yourself. It sounds weird that there’s ‘work.’ But to get uncomfortable & make a change, there is absolutely groundwork.

Today my question is for those of you who are unhappy with some aspect of you life: what ground work are you doing to remove yourself from the current stressful situation? Do you have a pros & cons list? Have you let yourself think of the process of removal & uncomfortable outcome?

Or are you simply just putting your head down, every day, showing up, huffing and puffing while putting limitations on yourself?
Ultimately I think a lot of people are not actually acknowledging the situation they’re in which makes it impossible to change. Change is work. Change is weird. And change is fucking uncomfortable.

Here’s the thing: it’s difficult to adjust accordingly, because change & adjustments are difficult in general.

But anything worth it in life is usually uncomfortable at first.

Those are my two cents.

I’ve been thinking about this post for a while because this quote is so simple but so spot on.

At the end of the day it takes a conscious working effort to adjust accordingly. And it’s work to keep tabs on yourself daily to make sure you’re living life on your own damn terms.

Food for thought! Ok, I’m done.

Until next time, lauryn x

* quote via.

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44 replies to “A Follow Up Post”

  1. YES this is spot on! I’m going to work on my pros and cons for different things I’m attempting to tackle. Thank you for the post! Also going to share.

  2. Oops – posted my comment before I was done.

    The “make a list of things that make you happy and then make a list of things you do every day” really struck me. Happiness sounds like such a hard things to achieve – but it really is so simple.

    Thanks for this post <3

    1. Hi Coco, yes! Like everything else, it just takes a little reflection. Taking a hard look at your life/actions and then making a change. Good luck babe! xx

  3. I love this! I could just be a regular trainer and go work for a gym but I always knew I would outgrow that quickly and I did, within 4 months I had moved to Mexico and was ready for a change to be on my own. It took every ounce of me to not give in and still some days I think about how easy it would be to not have to hustle but I do love working for me, doing what I want to do and serving how I want to serve my clients! thanks for the constant inspiration xo C

  4. I’m an undergrad in college and I recently went through this last semester! For two years I was a Biomedical Engineering major and hated everything about my college experience. The major was not what I really wanted to do but felt like I needed to prove to I could do it and push through. Last semester, I finally started looking inward to see that I was so deeply unhappy with my life and something needed to change. So I reached out to my loved ones for advice and to talk through what I was feeling. I ultimately decided that I wasn’t doing what was right for me and I was holding myself back with nonexistent expectations instead of following what I really wanted to do. Now, I am pursuing Physical Therapy and I cannot begin to explain how overall different my life is! People comment that they’ve never seen me so happy! Change is really scary and hard; letting go of a dream that was once desired is so so so so hard. But, in the end you have to do what is best for you instead of holding onto old stigmas.

    Thanks for this post <3 Really connected with me!

    1. Hi Kait! I’m so happy for you! And SO proud of you for looking inward and making a change. Your story is amazing :))

  5. Thanks as always for your amazing advice! Love when you do posts like this. I recently made a huge life change, and Part 1 of this series was one of the final motivators. I’ve cut so much negative crap out of my life and am loving re-filling it with things that inspire and motivate!

  6. This is something we should all repeat as a mantra every single darn day. Do NOT do what you hate. I would give anything to have this wisdom back when I started college and had to learn the hard way…now, it’s something I will tell my own kids one day!!

    I am super excited to be implementing this in a big way in my own life right now too. It’s always a work in progress, but it’s part of the journey! <3

  7. Love this post!! You’re right.. so many people don’t make changes because they are uncomfortable or don’t want to give up on their dreams! Definitely made me put some thoughts into how I am limiting myself.. thanks, Lauryn!!

  8. Such an inspirational post! I love these reminders to keep me heading in the direction I want to go. I should really print these quotes out and hang them around my office 🙂

  9. I just put in my end of semester notice today! I’m not coming back to teaching after winter break and I couldn’t be more relieved and excited to jump into the next thing. after four months of working in a class of 32 kindergarteners, literally not ever having time to do the things that I enjoy, never seeing my husband because I literally came home with a headache everyday and passed out, or cried and then passed out and also gained six pounds I decided it time for me to move on!

    Ultimately its the best for everyone because even if you are staying somewhere you don’t want to be you aren’t helping or inspiring anyone by being there. People know when you’re just done/don’t care and that was me!

    1. Hi Amanda, I’, proud of you for making the change! I completely agree, you owe it to yourself and to your community to end up in a place where you can give the most. I’m sure you’ll find a different place where you’re more happy! xx

  10. Thank you Lauryn…I used to see a therapist for my anxiety and she ‘d tell me the same thing. I’m a senior in college and for me it’s binge drinking…I HATE IT. It does nothing for me yet every weekend I find myself succumbing to the environment around me and doing it again. Sundays are usually spent hungover, anxious, regretting the weekend decisions. I work so hard to live a balanced lifestyle during the week and it really makes me happy, so falling into this every weekend is rough. Your post hit home and I really am going to try and stop doing the things I hate!

    1. Hi Carla,

      Be careful with binge drinking! It’s dangerous. Your first step is noticing it’s an issue and committing to changing it. I find that setting goals to change your behavior is super helpful. Maybe set a limit on yourself for the number of drinks you can have each night out on the weekends. Set the goal and try to achieve it.

      Good luck babe and be safe! xx

  11. SO true. I actually just wrote a post today about what it looks like to actually follow those dreams in REAL LIFE – it is all about the planning, laying ground work and making the choice to do actually make a change!

    1. Hi Caroline, self reflection is seriously SO important. How else can we expect to grow and become the best versions of ourselves? Thanks for reading! xx

  12. I read this before work today and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Last night over cocktails my bff said “you will make a change when you’re ready” and I realized today after reading your post that I am ready.

  13. I love these posts. It’s seriously the motivation, inspiration, and honestly, INTERVENTION, that I so desperately need. I am absolutely sitting down, making the two lists, and like you said – ADJUST accordingly. It’s all baby steps but no matter how small – progress is progress. Thank you so much for the much needed Monday motivation! Enjoy your week in NYC! xx SS

  14. I’ve been enjoying reading your blog for some time but this is the first time I’ve been really compelled to comment… Such an awesome post! Really struck a cord with me today!! Lots of love from Bondi Beach, Australia xx

  15. I love this! I think the biggest problem is that most people are mostly stuck in situations or relationships that aren’t that bad, but they aren’t that great either. Sometimes it’s hard to see the effect that mediocrity has until you make a change and find circumstances that truly make you happy.

  16. When Lauryn calls you out on your life: “What will it take for a writer to stop doing that 9 to 5 PR job to really pursue writing? What will it take that girl who’s stuck in an extremely toxic relationship to break up with that guy who treats her like crap?” Thanks for keeping it real and holding everyone accountable to live the best life they can! xx