As you know, I’m a huge fan of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. He has been on The Skinny Confidential Him & Her podcast twice ( here & here ), & I’ve been featured in his Daily Stoic newsletter ( check it out here ). I just have massive respect for his work & Michael & I read The Daily Stoic every day.
If you don’t know what The Daily Stoic is, it’s a book dedicated to stoicism- it helps me through any kind of anxiety/annoyance/negative feeling. It sits on my night stand all cute with The Skinny Confidential bookmark cascading down the cover along with my specific white pen nearby.
Every morning I wake up & read just one page. It’s a short paragraph daily. Underneath the inspiring info I write notes about how to do better & be better. There are so many incredible takeaways in regards to self-awareness, remaining stoic in stressful situations, perseverance, & so much more. Every time I open the book, it’s filled with value. Make sure when you get it you start at the right date ( so for example: instead of starting at the beginning of the book, start at whatever date it is- the book contains specific wisdom for specific dates ).
Anyway, recently Ryan put out a newsletter that really resonated with me. & when something resonates with me, I immediately want to share it with The Skinny Confidential community. So here we are.
Today we’re discussing how to have success in any challenge, & with that you’ll learn all about The 7 Cs Of Success.
I can’t take credit for this, it’s actually by Tom Morris, one of the world’s top public philosophers. He’s very much on a mission, like Ryan, to bring philosophy back to this era.
Tom has traveled the world & worked with all different kinds of business leaders, high performance athletes, coaches & entrepreneurs. In doing that, he’s realized that all of them want the exact same thing: advice about excellence.
Now, like I said, I didn’t discover any of this, Ryan Holiday did, so gotta give him credit for the newsletter.
So in a recent interview for thedailystoic.com, Tom said, “my claim is that for success in any challenge, the great practical philosophers have taught me that we need what I call The 7 Cs of Success.”
Today, we’re going over Tom’s 7 Cs For Success & I’m going to tell you my tips & tricks for how to apply them to your daily life.
THE 7 Cs FOR SUCCESS:
1.) A clear CONCEPTION of what we want, a vivid vision, a goal clearly imagined.
We’ve talked about this so many times on TSC. That’s how this brand & blog started in the first place. Instead of having a vision board, make an execution board.
Have your goal clearly imagined, laid out in front of you on a poster board so you’re walking by it every single day, constantly being reminded of what it is. It needs to be a conception, & the conception laid out in front of you is going to help you constantly manifest what you want. Just having an idea isn’t enough. A conception is something that’s more likely to come to life. As Tom said, it’s a “goal clearly imagined.” In saying that, it’s also important to develop systems to get to that goal.
2.) A strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain that goal.
Confidence is so important when it comes to any kind of goal. When it comes to confidence, I believe it starts with YOU. Yes, you. Confidence starts with keeping the promises you have made to YOURSELF.
I learned this principle through my online mentor & friend, Ed Mylett. He says when he meets a very confident person he knows that they have developed the habit of keeping promises they make to themselves. & if u think about it- the theory is simple: you’re not holding yourself accountable if you’re breaking promises to yourself, which creates insecurity.
Whenever I am not feeling confident, I evaluate if I am maintaining a solid reputation with myself: did I finish that project I said I would complete? Am I following through with my health goals? Am I showing up as the leader, wife, friend, etc. that I initially promised myself I would be? If the answer is NO, I need to sit down & look inward. You don’t need to look to other people for confidence- you need to look to yourself.
If you’re looking to other people to feel confident, REASSESS your strategy. I mean not everyone is going to like you- that’s a given. So stop giving random people you don’t care about your productive energy & start using it towards keeping promises to yourself.
Start there, start today: make a tiny promise to yourself & follow through. Create a habit where you hold yourself accountable. No one else is going to do it for you. It could be something as simple as time blocking an hour a day to write that book you have said you’re going to write. Small habits create big success.
Self trust = self confidence, not outside people’s opinions. & really the truth is – as Eleanor Roosevelt so eloquently put it – “you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” a
3.) A focused concentration on what it takes to reach our goal.
These are the ‘micro’ things that you’re doing every single day. The small habits that make up big successes. Things like:
Time batching – doing similar tasks together so you’re not spending time on re-focusing. For example, ONLY answer emails for an hour, shoot all your photos on one day, answer all your text message in one sitting.
A time cube – this helps with time batching. Set a timer for 1 hour to go through emails. When it goes off, move on. This helps you focus on the task at hand.
Google calendar – color-code it & get yourself organized. Set time aside to work on your goals. That might mean setting aside time to write, brainstorm or just ‘think.’
A day planner – this one is my favorite. Sometimes it’s nice to just write thing down, ya know?
Hold yourself accountable by telling a friend. Like I said above, these are the creative systems to get to the goals.
Also, stay in your own lane.
Years ago, I went to New York with some other bloggers to meet Bethenny Frankel. I asked her one simple question:
“What’s your advice for women entrepreneurs?”
Her answer was simple, to the point, & RAW. She said:
“Be like Michael Phelps. Stay in your own lane. Keep swimming forward & don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Don’t look over at other lanes. Just keep swimming.”
Ummmmm. If that’s not badass LIFE advice I don’t know what is? For example, it’s so, so easy to get on Instagram & before you know it you’ve compared yourself to your friend’s cousin’s, sister who’s a supermodel in Milan, dating Bradley Cooper, & just inherited 80 mill.
I’VE BEEN THERE TOO. As a blogger it’s hard not to compare yourself to other bloggers.
And well, it’s hard not to compare yourself in general. It’s human nature.
Maybe you’re a working mother who compares yourself to other moms who don’t work, maybe you’re a teenager who compares your lifestyle to a celebrity’s, or maybe you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to, well, EVERYONE.
The point is: don’t compare your beginning to someone’s middle.
Comparing yourself to others takes your eye off your prize, your goals, your dreams.
Really though, it’s pointless & really doesn’t get anyone anywhere.
4.) A stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing our visions.
This isn’t something I’ve talked about too much before. But I do think it’s very important to have a very laser-focused concentration. If I had listened to what people said in the very beginning of The Skinny Confidential, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing.
Years ago when I was a broke bartender, the joint I worked at was this local boy’s club bar where very ( VERY ) wealthy men came to drink extra dirty martinis. It was so interesting to observe the crowd for 5 years- I mean, I have STORIES!
Anyway, there was this one guy who was about 80-ish years old & had very young, pretty girls surrounding him at all times. He smelled of aged cigars & always ordered the same drink: a rusty nail- never heard of it? Me either. ( I kid you not, I remember these details like it was yesterday ).
At the time, he asked me in so many words, if I would be his sugar baby. You should know I have NOTHING against sugar babies- it’s just not for me. I was building The Skinny Confidential & laser focused on going to school, working, teaching Pure Barre & launching the brand. I told him THANK YOU so much for the delicious ( LOL ) offer, but I am going to be a blogger…
AND I WILL NEVER FORGET HIS REACTION: he threw his head back & howled, cigar breath & all, right in my face. Then he turned to me & said: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MONETIZE OFF THAT ?!
TURNS OUT: he was the owner of the Airbag. My point here is DO YOU- on your terms. Drown out the outside shit. You have the power to create anything you want, no matter what ANYONE says…even Mr. Fucking Rusty Nail Airbag.
If I had listened to him and not had a stubborn consistency for my vision, I would not be here.
5.) An emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we’re doing.
The Skinny Confidential community is so important to me. Find something meaningful & purposeful to you & find that in your work. When you have that it makes your work more worth while.
Having a platforms where the community can come for tangible, valuable takeaways gets me off. Knowing that Stephanie from Minnesota is actually using some tips & tricks she found in one of my posts to optimize her life really gives my job meaning & purpose. Having that emotional commitment makes my work more worthwhile.
6.) A good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course.
This is a no-brainer. Character is something we learn about in first grade. Character & integrity is so important in any aspect of life. Even in my marriage & relationship with Michael, we’ve tried to build it from integrity. Doing what we say we’re going to do, when we say we’re going to do it.
My husband has taught me about integrity- because he’s a very integrious man. He’s very consistent with it too. & by the way, no one wants to work with an asshole.
7.) A CAPACITY to enjoy the process along the way.
I’ve seen so many people just want to get the end goal or the finish line, & make all the money at once. For me, I’ve really tried to become attached to the process of building. I mean, if we were building a house, I’d want to love putting the windows in as much as I love having the roof over my head.
Besides, what are you going to do when you get to the end? You don’t want to get ‘astronaut syndrome’ where you get to the moon & have no where else to go! The art & creativity that goes into business is what makes it fun.
So, as you can see, the 7 Cs are:
Personally, I wrote these out & put them on my mirror. This isn’t a ‘mirror message’ that tells me to “dance like no one is watching,” or “live, laugh, love.” It’s an actual, tangible reminder ( & steps ) to help me get something I want. I’m a fan of strategies & tactics so that’s what I want on my mirror.
“You can find all seven of these ideas in the writings of Seneca or Marcus Aurelius. The great thinkers understood greatness.” – Tom Morris
At the end of the day, you can control some things, but there’s so much you can’t control. The stoics tried to stay laser-focused on what they could control.
So that’s all I have today, I hope this brought you value.
If you’re in LA, you HAVE to go to the @flutterexperience. It’s where all of the pics in this post were taken.
Basically it’s this interactive art experience where each room is different. The exhibit is designed to promote mental wellness- so you put away your phone for an hour & just play. It’s AMAZING.
This specific room ( in the very first pic ) is designed by Leah Guadagnoli- she used candy colors with hints of the 80s & mid-century design along with a total ‘Saved by the Bell’ feel- so many pastels & SO INSTAGRAMMY !!
Shout out to Rumi Neely & her husband, Chris, for sharing this insane experience. The whole thing is very therapeutic- highly recommend if you’re in LA. ( Speaking of Rumi Neely, listen to her podcast episode here. We talk about her being a pioneer in the influencer space, lauching a brand & the power of social media ).
Anyway, here are all the deets on Flutter.
♡ What is it?
“Where art & happiness meet.
Flutter is an immersive art experience, certain to inspire joy & wonder. Located five minutes from LACMA. It was created by globally coveted contemporary artists in the hopes of supporting & promoting mental health.
Flutter was founded with the intention of doing good. We work with exceptional contemporary artists, many of whom have featured in leading international institutions.
Our artists created playfully immersive spaces that entertain & engage.
Flutter is a permanent exhibit, designed to showcase globally coveted artists in an exciting new format. For our first exhibit we asked each artist to create a room based on the theme ‘Play Date.’
The result is a sensory journey filled with nostalgia, technology, interaction & fun. Visitors regularly spend 1.5 to 2 hours exploring this magical place
♡ Where is it?
217 South La Brea Avenue, Los Angeles
♡ How do I go?
They have month passes or special VIP passes. Either way, you can’t go wrong. The experience is incredible.
Have any of you been? Been love to hear what you thought.
With that, I’m off to read my daily chapter on stoicism. It’s so fun how each day has a specific page. See you tomorrow. Would love to know how you apply the 7 Cs to your life. Tell me below.
+ everything you need to know about branding your business.
++ if you like this post, check out this one on emotional intelligence.