The 5 Components of Emotional Intelligence & How I Practice It

Today I want to talk about emotional intelligence. I wrote an Instagram caption about this & I feel it’s something we should dig deeper into. First off, what is emotional intelligence, or EQ?

THE 5 COMPONENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: ( via )

♡ self-awareness

Being able to monitor your emotional state & identify your emotions.

♡ self-regulation

Taking responsibility for your actions & adapting to change. Also, being able to respond appropriately to other people’s irrational behaviors.

♡ motivation

Being able to take your own initiative & having the commitment to complete tasks & goals. Also, having perseverance in the face of adversity.

♡ empathy

Being interested in other people’s concerns & worries. Also being able to anticipate someone’s emotional response to a situation, understanding society norms & why people act the way they do.

♡ social skills

The ability to pick up on jokes, sarcasm, & finding common ground with others. 

The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to have emotional intelligence, ESPECIALLY when it comes to business. Sure, you can have business smarts, & sure you can have street smarts, but if you don’t have EQ you’re missing a big piece of the puzzle. Personally, I think EQ is something that you can learn & practice every single day. So I thought a blog post would be helpful to anyone who isn’t familiar with EQ.

CHARACTER TRAITS OF SOMEONE WITH EQ:

♡ Can hear a different opinion or point of view without becoming emotionally reactive.

♡ Able to set boundaries & say no without extreme guilt.

♡ Understands that perception is reality & accepts perceptions of others without trying to change them.

♡ Can be vulnerable when hurt.

♡ Can sit in undistracted silence with oneself.

♡ Takes full accountability for behavior; does not seek blame.

♡ Finds humor & light heartedness often.

♡ Does not view gossip as connection.

This really relates heavily to stoicism. As I’ve talked about before on the blog & Instagram, every morning I start my day with a page from this book. It takes 5 minutes & I like to write notes under each paragraph. It’s taught me to have incredible perseverance, wisdom, & made me realize that I can’t control outside forces- I can only control my reaction to them. THUS, it’s helped my EQ.

Emotional maturity ( EQ ) is something I’m constantly working on & it’s helped me to learn that it’s not someone else’s fault if I react… it’s MINE. This is HUGE when it comes to business, relationship, friendships, & just life in general. It all comes down to self-awareness really. Get to know yourself & have real conversations.

Over the past year I’ve tried to spend a lot of time thinking. Yup, just thinking. I schedule it now- 15 minutes to just sit & think.

WAYS THAT I PRACTICE EQ:

♡ Putting myself in other people’s shoes.

♡ Having empathy for what other people are going through.

♡ Actually imagining what it feels like to be in their circumstance.

♡ Not giving things energy but just listening. Sometimes it’s best to just listen.

♡ Being self-aware & learning when to insert myself into a narrative & when not to get involved.

♡ Thinking before reacting.

As I said, stoicism has really helped me with all of this. This book is one of my & Michael’s all-time favorites. Basically, this is a book that you can write in & journal in every single day. We are huge fans of stoicism. What is stoicism? The endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.

There is a teaching & exercise for every single day of the year that will help you become more mentally tough & resilient to the world around you. Anyways, if you’re into this post, I highly recommend getting The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday.

Would love hear how you guys practice EQ. Share everything in the comments below.

x, lauryn

+ if you liked this post, read all about giving yourself ‘thinking time.’

++ more on mental toughness here.

sketch by @handmadehighlights

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