Failure is Just Crucial | by Michael

by
LAURYN

F.A.I.L.U.R.E.HIM-I-DY-HIM SERIES IS BACK.

First things first, are you guys liking Michael on the blog?

I’m a fan because I feel like I listen to his advice on a regular basis. A lot of you ask ME questions that Michael has answered…for ME. I know, it’s devastating I haven’t had him on the blog sooner.

For instance, he told he me to pull the fucking trigger on The Skinny Confidential 5 years ago, & here we are.

CRUCIAL, right.

He’s very, VERY motivation & very business savvy.

No, I’m not like saying this because he’s my person. I’m saying this because he’s rubbed off on me in the right ways & I’d love for him to help YOU in any way. Of course, if you pick up ANY tips from him, share them with your friends, pet, family, favorite bartender. You get it.

I’m embarrassed to admit how much advice he’s given me…

Ok, ok I’ll let Mr. Michael Bosstick take it away:

Who gives a shit about failure, take a chance & TELL ME a story!

Hey guys, it’s Michael again! Don’t get overly excited! Hahaha!

Today I want to switch gears & talk to you about something other than books and dating ( some of that may creep in here though ). I want to talk about the fear of failure.

The fear of failure in business, in life, in relationships, in anything!

I want to address & talk about fear and then I want to tell you WHY you should not be afraid and why fear can be great.

I remember speaking with my friend Danny in college, I specifically remember him telling me “this will be the greatest time of our lives” and I remember thinking…“what the fuck are you talking about?!” The biggest fear I had at the time was that was where life would end, that would be the high point, the point where it would all go downhill.

I remember getting heated about it and telling him that there was no possible way this would be the best part of my life.

Not because college wasn’t a good time, because it was, I have some great memories ( I went to the U of A…I’m a real academic ). I just remember thinking “after this I am going to do a lot more cool shit, I am going to take a lot of chances, and if college is as good as life gets, I don’t want to live.”

That’s pretty extreme I guess, but I just couldn’t imagine life slowing down.

I have always been a risk taker…I’m completely comfortable taking risks & chances. I don’t mind failure, it doesn’t worry me, I don’t lose sleep over it and I will tell you why: FAILURE is what makes you better.

The idea of failure is what keeps you sharp. When you fail you have a chance to learn & improve. Life is not going to be all wins and no losses. If it was, it would be VERY boring. If I know failure has the potential to make me better why should I fear it?

If you follow me on snapchat ( @michaelbosstick ) you have probably seen me on one of my many rants yelling at someone or anyone to get out there & take a chance!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not looking to fail and I am not telling you failing doesn’t hurt. It does.

All I am saying is “who cares?” There is this idea that failure is a really bad thing. Yea, losing money sucks. Taking a chance on a relationship only to find out it was a bad idea sucks too. So does sitting around never taking a chance and wondering “what if?”

I refuse to wonder. I refuse to go through my life on an easy road. I don’t want that life. I want to take chances; I have accepted that most of them won’t pan out. I also know that when it does, it will be AMAZING!!!

You want to start a new business? Great, quit talking to me about it and go execute. You’re scared it won’t work? Good, use that fear to drive you towards success. What’s the story you want to tell? “Hey I had this idea and I thought about doing it but I didn’t because I was scared.” Cool story? Or…“yea I had this idea in the back of my head & I tried it and it was really tough and I failed a couple times and life got hard but then I figured it out and now it’s this amazing thing and we are on a boat drinking champagne because of it.” Or maybe your dream takes you elsewhere, but I personally like boats and champagne!

Lauryn & I were at dinner years ago and she was telling me how she had this idea to write on the internet about her life and give simple tips to women and that she had an idea to eventually write a book and become a brand.

I had heard this same story maybe 15 times to the point that I was annoyed to listen. I told her to quit talking about it and go and TRY IT. It’s now called The Skinny Confidential…& I’m writing content to thousands of people because she took a chance. It’s her passion, she loves it, it has added a tremendous work load to her life but it has also been extremely fulfilling.

What if she didn’t take the chance? What if she had given in to the fear of putting herself out there and failing? That story would be very boring. It’s a story that she would not be proud to tell.

This doesn’t only apply to starting your own business it applies to everything. You have a great job? Do you deserve a promotion & raise? Are you playing it safe hoping to climb the ranks? Get out there and take a chance! What’s the worst that can happen? You get fired? Or maybe you don’t and BOOM! New position more money!

Do you want to approach that guy/girl but you are scared they will reject you? Who gives a shit! Take a chance again. Oh wait now you are engaged and have a life partner? BOOM! Again!

Failure will make you better, it will teach you, AND it will humble you.

These are all good things.

Michael, what if I go broke? Ok you’re broke. Start over, try again. I got rejected. Ok try again. My idea didn’t work the first time. Ok pivot & try again. That’s life; it’s not supposed to be one and done. It takes time, it takes persistence. Fear of losing will only lead to losing.

Bottom line, don’t be scared to fail. Be scared that you will never take the chance to fail. I wish all of you the best of luck in every aspect of your life!!!

Comment below & let me know how a failure made you better or led to something great! I want everyone here to see that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

– Michael

+ check out Michael’s latest post.
++ follow us on Snapchat.
+ totally extending the $1500 giveaway too. Enter here. It’s a good one.
OH, ALSO:

205 comments | Leave a Comment +

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

  1. Carla

    I really like your contributions to the blog, Michael. I also like today’s topic. But: Could you tell about a failure of yours, like, tell us a story?

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Carla,

      Thanks for commenting! I can tell you a story. My family comes from a real estate background. My dad and uncle were both developers. When I was in high school I worked with them whenever I had some free time and in college I studied real estate. In my final year of college I found a cheap house, rented out some rooms, got a loan, and set off to remodel it! This was in 2008. Worst time ever. I lost my ass on the house, completely had my ego shot down, started questioning my capabilities. I was confused on where I should be focusing my energy. Up until that point, I had thought I would be in the real estate business. I came back to San Diego and tried to work on some commercial projects until I realized I hated it. I was making no money and no progress. Without going into my life story realizing these failures led me to many different projects outside of the real estate market and here I am now. Failure is a teacher.

    2. J.J.

      So true…every bit of it.

      I had to close my business a year ago. Does it irritate the shit out of me? YES! That’s what propels me forward into the next venture. All I needed to do was regroup and try again. I thought I worked hard before, it’s time to work harder. I thought I was the best at my craft, now I will be even better! The failure is the fire that is lit under my ass.
      Thank you for the book recommendations, I have them piled high on my desk.

  2. Andrea @ Blog Strength

    I like your insights I’ve been following along on snapchat and but a few of you book selections on hold at the library. I wrote a post a few weeks back equating the fear of failure to a glass ceiling that we create for ourselves. Another way to look at this is that some people are not only afraid of the failure the thought of success scares them as well and that there is a recipe for life paralysis.
    Andrea @ Blog Strength recently posted..The Glass Ceiling You CreateMy Profile

    Reply
  3. Rachel Quimby

    Let me preface this story with telling you I am a not someone who is used to failure, but 2 years ago I ate it big time. I took a chance on an internship doing software development. This was a *dream* internship doing exactly what I wanted for my career. I had been having painful and mysterious health problems for a few months and I was nervous to go but I did it anyway. I packed up my stuff and moved across the country from NH to CA. Well by day two I couldn’t walk because my knees had swollen up and I LITERALLY was scootering around the office on a children’s razor scooter because that’s what I had access to. By day 4, I had been instructed by my doctor to get an emergency colonoscopy. I had to leave my job, leave all my stuff in my apartment and pack up to go home so family could take care of me during the scope. That’s led to a diagnosis and 3-4 month recovery. It also led to the lamest line on my resume ever, 1 week internship. BUT the good news is it didn’t work against me in the long run. I have a fabulous career as a software developer and my employer didn’t look at the failure as a bad thing. It was out of my control. At the end of the day it was a big fat FAIL but putting myself out there proved to companies that I’m willing to work for what I want, and I’m pretty proud of myself for going for it too.
    Rachel Quimby recently posted..Take a semester off from collegeMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Rachel,

      This is a really awesome story. Not awesome that you got sick and had a struggle, but really awesome that you overcame all of that without fear! I commend you. This is exactly what I am talking about when I say take a chance. Congratulations on a well deserved career!

  4. Julie Jensen

    We opened a business that is a cult favorite in a different part of the country and thought there is no way it will fail…and boom…it didn’t work out and honestly, I was and am 10000000% glad because I really didn’t love it and not loving it caused resentment and then you get it…shit rolls down hill. I love this advice and really love that you literally can take it and apply it to every.single aspect of life. Cheers!

    Reply
  5. Cynthia

    I love this topic. I have had the same conversations with so many people it is unbelievable. I have also determined there is a culture of failure acceptance (and not in a good way). People don’t like to rock the boat, do anything different from the norm or take risks and then they complain they aren’t where they want to be. If you do the exact same thing you will be in the exact same place! And if you do the same thing as everyone else you will be in the same place as everyone else! It is not the rich or the lucky who are successful. They aren’t smarter than you. They just work their butts off, take risks, use failures as learning opportunities, tune out the negative people and keep going. I am quite passionate about this. Keep these posts coming! I love them!

    Reply
  6. Diana

    A quote I always keep in mind is “What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? I loved this post! There really never is the right time to do something- you just have to get started! Thank you for a little Friday motivation 🙂
    Diana recently posted..Blueberry Frozen Yogurt BitesMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Arielle Levy

    I love how motivating this post is.
    So I’ll share with everyone my story, because I’m EXTREMELY passionate about the topic you discussed, and every time a friend says they ‘want’ to do something, I go into a 10 minute motivational speech and in the end I feel like I should charge for it because it was so good LOL..maybe now I can refer them here!

    Rewind 1 year & 2 months ago, I had a great job, made good money, comfortable— but BORED. I remembered the one thing I loved to do– take photos. So I went out bought a camera, and posted on Facebook A status saying I needed models.
    Pretty friends and families jumped!
    I took their photos but something was missing. I wanted to be a fashion photographer.
    For the next 8 months I unhappily took pictures of families only, models occasionally but I wasn’t sure how I would get there.
    I saw an ad online to work with a lifestyle magazine, I basically begged to be someone’s assistant, but it turned out I was good enough for a spread.
    At this time I was scared shitless but I didn’t let fear of failure stop me.
    My first assignment was for fashion, a Rachel Zoe fashion show. Second assignment was with Lauryn’s best friend @_fashionlush_ who is amazing, and also connected Lauryn and I for shoots, which is crazy I had loved both of their blogs!
    I recently shot a party for Lisa Vanderpump, and 2 days ago Ivanka Trump reposted a photo I took.
    I almost shoot STRICTLY women/fashion now! It took 1 year but I didn’t let the 8 months of what in my eyes was FAILURE slow my role and detour me from my route.
    Please keep these posts coming Lauryn & Michael, so refreshing to hear positivity, love it XO

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Arielle,

      Thank you for commenting and sharing! Really awesome to hear that back story. Crazy how things work out when you take the leap! Looking forward to more photography tips soon 😉

  8. Kathleen Post

    I love this! It’s so true, we all fear failure way too much but there is so much to learn from it. Lauryn- I love that you’ve been pulling Michael into your posts! Thanks for letting us into your lives!!
    Kathleen Post recently posted..Pretty FloralsMy Profile

    Reply
  9. Shannon

    Great, great post and a constant reminder. In fact, my boyfriend was the one who told me to pull the trigger. Like Lauryn, I had similar goals (I wanted to write about things I was passionate about and eventually build a brand), and at dinner my boyfriend flat out told me he was sick about hearing about it, and he’ll start listening once I do it. Granted, I’m still working on things & getting the hang of it, but it was the push I needed! Failure is scary in theory, but you’re right – what IS the worst that can happen?! I’ll admit, I get nervous about financials, but if I am not willing to invest in my idea (working on a product, currently), then how can I expect anyone else to?! Plus, nothing worth having comes easy! Another platitude is if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough. I do think that fear is failure so it’s all about overcoming it. The solution is always, always, always more important than the problem!

    I will absolutely check out those books linked – in fact, I have no idea where to begin because they all look damn good!

    Thanks for preaching the good word! And thanks for pushing Lauryn to make TSC – she created something truly amazing! x Shannon
    Shannon recently posted..Last night, Drinks Were Falling From The Bar 👾 Moi je – Commence {Club Edit}My Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Shannon,

      hahahah your bf sounds similar to me! I will tell you this about financials, with great risk comes great reward. Unless you happen to stumble upon some buried treasure there is no quick and easy way. Ask yourself this. If I gave you a million dollars right now, what would you do? If money wasn’t a factor, what would you be doing? Ok now go do that now. Or start working towards that now. One step at a time and all of a sudden you are there.

  10. Katie D

    I love every single one of your posts… Personally, I have failed for the first time recently and it made me want to take bigger risks… if that makes any sense. It was the fear of failing that was much worse that the actually failing part. The ‘failure’ turned out to be an opportunity for personal growth. Instead of talking about what I want to do, Im pursuing my goal head on.

    Reply
  11. Veronica Garcia

    Loved this post! I’m about to graduate from SDSU and I also have a blog. I have been an intern for over a year and even though I feel like I have a lot of good things going for me, the fear of failure (and not being able to find a job) is inevitable.

    Thanks for your tips, they’re super helpful!!

    Reply
  12. Andrea de la Torre

    so true. fear is nothing but paralizing, i have that all the time when im about to make a change in my life. but then i just go ahead and do it and its all worth it. this is such an important subject. Im actually reading this really cute book that talks about creative living and fear, its called Big Magic. They talk about it in an easy way to understand. thanks Michael. Have a great weekend.

    Reply
  13. Hayley

    I really enjoyed reading this blog post because it gave me a lot of inspiration to look for a job that is more fulfilling. I thought it was awesome when you spoke about not slowing down right after college. I am graduating this Spring and I hope some of the best experiences of my life are still ahead of me. I also think that if you don’t take risks or chances in life, you will never find out what you’re missing out on. In addition, you will never learn and grow from your mistakes if you don’t take risks. “Failure is what makes you better,” I think that is a great statement to keep in mind. Great post Michael!
    (From Snap)

    Reply
  14. Kate

    I guess I really haven’t hit that failure point yet but I got that point where I have been all talk, maybe like Lauryn was with TSC. I have been obsessed with fitness, particularly spinning for a long time now. But ya know I work a corporate 9-5 (erhm I mean 7:30-9 ha) and it’s a great job. The job everyone wants, the job my parents love to boast about that I have. But I realized I was passionate about something else. Something bigger. I had talked up the teaching fitness for a long long time, but was afraid to start. People were so impressed and proud of my accomplishments in business I was afraid I’d look like a failure to them. But someone finally told me to do it, really do it and put it all in. And I finally put the application in, and scheduled that appointment. People will talk, people will probably judge, but I listen to some advice I got from lauryn: “stay in your own lane”. And that’s exactly what I’m trying to do

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Kate,

      The people that will talk negatively don’t matter. Really they don’t matter at all. Their words and opinions are worth nothing. I bet you will crush it while you stay in your own lane, and I bet after you do those people will slip back into the shadows where they belong.

  15. Corey

    I needed this post!! Really and truly. I’ll give a little backstory – I graduated undergrad (UConn!!) in 2010. Landed a job at a nonprofit that I loved, but knew it wasn’t what I wanted to do forever. Fast forward a couple of years and I start to feel a bit antsy in my current position. Not exactly sure of what I want to do, I start volunteering as an advisor for college students who are having trouble maintaining a high GPA. I do this voluntarily for two years and LOVE IT. Ok, so I now I know I want to work with college students. Next step? Well I do my research, and realize that for most jobs I will need a masters degree. I apply to what I think will be my dream schools. Don’t get accepted, and clearly feel devastated. I continue to hold the volunteer position, and the next year I apply to schools again, and get rejected AGAIN. I begin to think maybe this isn’t the right field for me? But no, f*ck that – I knew this was the right field for me!! So yet another year goes by, I apply to schools once again, and am ACCEPTED! Ok. step one complete, but then I realized I was about to start grad school full time and was pretty much scared shitless. I took the risk anyway. i’m currently finishing up my second (of four) semesters and have a 4.0 gpa. i still wake up everyday like wtf am i doing? grad school full time, not a huge income at the moment, and scared i wont find a job at the end of all this, but i had to take this risk.

    I also have a little mantra to repeat when i start to get overwhelmed by my decisions – “life begins at the end of your comfort zone”

    thanks for the post michael!

    p.s. SNAPCHAT sent me 🙂

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Corey!,

      Just keep going every day little by little. It will all work out, Thanks for commenting and thanks for the snapchat support! Good luck!

  16. Alyssa Anderson

    Michael! I watch your snaps religiously (and lauryns you guys are so great.) I even made my sister and boyfriend follow so they can see there’s different types of success out there. Well, and my boyfriend runs his own company in LA so I think it’s extra motivational for him.

    Anyways, I loved this post because today’s my 23rd birthday and I’m figuring out where I want my career to go right now and posts like this or your snap rants totally push me to reach out to contacts I would normally be afraid to or apply for a job I normally wouldn’t.

    So thank you to you for reminding me of this truth and for lauryn for creating a blog that makes me excited about taking care of my body. You guys are the greatest and never stop snapping you make my days, too funny.

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Alyssa! thank you for watching!! If my rants have helped push you towards success in anyway I am a happy man! Never be afraid to put yourself out there. I will keep on snapping along!

  17. MacKenzie

    Every time I’ve failed its been an amazing lesson. My swim coach used to say it would teach you never to make the same mistake twice when you fail epically. But being fearless and embracing failure is pretty much why I am where I am today. This post is dope, and people need to read it and share it ASAP!

    Reply
  18. Connie

    I absolutely love this post and can 100% relate. I joined the Army right after college because I knew it was a path I wanted to take. My parents had both served in the Army, as well as my brother. I knew that serving was something I wanted to do. At the beginning of 2015, I was faced with a huge decision– was I going to finish my enlistment after nearly 6 years of being in the military and throw away a steady paycheck with retirement lurking around the corner and down the hall? Or was I going to do something I truly LOVED and was passionate about with the fear of failing and not making any money at all? After much deliberation, I finally decided to walk. I wanted to pursue my dream of being my own boss, regardless of what it took. I remember the sleepless nights I would have leading up to getting out of the military. I would literally wake up at 4AM every single morning to do physical training and then be at work by 630. By 3PM, I would work feverishly on my side hustle, trying to get everything in place. By 5PM, I would be completely exhausted, but I was also dedicated to working out and knew that I couldn’t just work every single hour of the day behind the computer. I needed to give my body the attention it needed. By 9PM, I’d just collapse. I did this every single day just because I wanted to conquer that fear of failing. When I finally did get out in October 2015, I realized that I could do this! I could make this work! I could be my own boss and make my own hours and live the life I want to live! It’s all a matter of how bad I want it and how much I’m willing to do or sacrifice to achieve my dreams. If I fail, I fail. There’s nothing more to it. But at least I can say I tried and I tried my damn best! (PS– hello from SnapChat!)
    Connie recently posted..Food Finds: Quaker Breakfast FlatsMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Connie!

      Thank you for reading I am really happy you like the post! Thank you for sharing your story, it’s awesome! I appreciate the response.

  19. Kari

    Failing right out of college made me find my true passion. I really thought that there was going to be a full time job with benefits when I graduated. I was fine with having to work hard and start at the bottom, but that wasn’t even an option. Life isn’t like that anymore. Because of that it forced me to move, take part time jobs… I now am totally in love with what I do, and I wouldn’t take back those hard years for anything!
    Kari recently posted..Wednesday Wanderlust: Venice, Italy (Part 1)My Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Kari,

      I am happy you commented here. There are a lot of young people about to graduate college really fearful of their future. I think this comment sums it up!

  20. Chandler H

    Love this post Michael! I have been afraid of failing for a long time. Failing in school, failing with my parents, failing in my relationships, and even failing myself. I have never personally gone through huge failure where I have to start my life over again but I am currently watching my dad’s business fail. It has slowly been failing for years now but presently the end is in sight. I thought that this post would really resonate with him so I showed it to him. He identified with many of the points that you brought up and he liked knowing there were more people in the world with his ideology. Bottom line I really appreciate this post because it gives me a sense of security (if that even makes sense) that I understand what my dad is going through, how he sees it and how I know that even if he fails at this he will easily pick right back up and start again someplace else. My dad is a smart man, an entrepreneur, and I know this will not be the end of him but just another chapter. Thank you again Michael and thank you Lauryn for having Michael share this on TSC. It really hit home for me.

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Chandler,

      I am really happy you read the post. Let me tell you one thing. You will never have to start your life all over again. Either will your dad. Your life is still going! This is all part of it. You are exactly right, he will pick it up and keep going. That’s all you can do. It will all work out, it’s all part of the process. Just remember to keep trying and keep moving forward! There really is nothing else to do, and happiness comes from much more than just our businesses, remember that.

  21. Olivia Herring

    As soon as you said something about this post on snapchat, I came and read it! Everything you said is spot on. The fear of failure is very scary to me and it’s always motivating to read posts like this. At the end of the day, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you tried to do and failed. And it’s only failing when you stop trying! I love both of your snap stories and can’t wait for more content! From snapchat ?

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Olivia! thanks for watching snapchat and charging on over here. Fear is all in perception, what are you scared of? really? ask yourself that question and then play out that fear in your head. It’s never as bad as you think.

  22. Renee

    I like the Michael posts on the blog….and I keep going through and trying to question this saying well what if this happened or that and making up circumstances where this idea is a bad concept. But honestly it’s not working because I think that we grow so much from our failures that in the end they might not even be considered failures but set backs, life lessons, or even experience. Anyways very thought provoking post! Thank you! (On snap:)

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Renee,

      Thanks for the comment! and thank you for coming over from snap. I really appreciate it! We do grow from our failures and I consider all of them lessons.

  23. stacy

    In a world of entitled people wanting things handed to them, this blog is a breath of fresh air. Risk with not much downside is my jam, risk with potential true failure terrifies me. Thank you for the challenge, ordering that book on Amazon. Btw: loving ur snapchat business snaps…you & Lauren keeping rocking the dream!! Xo

    Reply
  24. Lindsay Z

    Michael, I follow you on Snap and you are SO INTENSE and so motivating. 🙂 I have so many ideas and it’s fear, and the excuses that come with it that constantly hold me back. I am also a perfectionist and like Lauryn, plan and plan plan, talk and talk and talk, and think, and think, and think about everything I want to do but am afraid to take the plunge. Worst part is, I’m good and this stuff, and of course there will be hurdles, but likely could do well at it. I know this, and yet still, fear holds me back. You’re right though, you don’t know if you don’t try and what’s the worst that can happen if you fail…it’ll suck to fail but you’ll move on, learn, and maybe even try again. Thank you for taking the time to share your motivation!

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Linsay!

      A lot of people have been using INTENSE to describe me lately. At first I was worried I was scaring people off. I only needed this one comment to justify my instneseness! Just remember your idea of perfect is different than mine which is different than everyone else’s. Therefore perfection does not exist. Just take a shot! It will be great.

  25. Victoria

    This really resonates with me. I just spoke with a professor of marketing (from the U of A! :)) and she asked me how I thought people could change (if possible) and can everyone have a fresh start..? I told her it’s about how badly you want it- determination, sacrifice, and not having the fear to fail. This past year I have decided to put my stable job on the back burner and start a career in real estate. Over the last year I’ve had a lot of rejection and there were days I didn’t want to come into the office. It has been VERY humbling but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I now have a better, more fulfilled life than before — even though I’m working more hours in the day. Thanks Michael!! This was an awesome post!

    Reply
  26. Pamela

    How many times do you try after failing? Say you tried once, twice, three times…. Is there truly a positive outcome to every fail?
    Or do you just chalk it up to at least I tried??

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Well let me say this, maybe don’t try selling water next to a fresh stream. If you try and fail, try again but alter your approach. If you fail again, pivot. If you fail again learn from the first 3 and use that data to start again. It is all building towards something. What that is, I cannot tell you.

      Or give up and then what? I chalk things up to “At least i tried that approach and it led me to this approach” never a definitive end. Thank you for the comment!

  27. Arin

    Probably one of my favorite posts so far. I also think that fear of success can hold you back just as much. I’ve tried recently to just go for it rather than be limited by those fears, especially with the post college job search. What fun is life if you don’t make shit happen. (Also adding the obligatory “from snap” even though I would’ve commented anyways!)

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Arin,

      Thank you! I am happy you like the post. I agree with you about the fear of success. I think you just need to wake up each day without fear and do as much as you can, every day, every week, all month long, all year long, for the rest of your life!

  28. Janessa Eberle

    You know it’s funny. I just decided to pick up my life and move to Minnesota in a couple months to start a career in marketing and work on my blog/brand. Once I made the decision, I haven’t been scared once-I know I will make it work and I will achieve my goals. Even if it doesn’t happen at first, I will work hard and keep at it. That’s the attitude I have. The crazy thing I’ve found is that my friends and family are more scared for me to fail than I am. But I haven’t let it affect me because why should I? And what does it help? I’m glad to read this and know I’m not the only one not afraid of failing. And that even if I do, I’ve learned something.
    Janessa Eberle recently posted..I’M WITH THE BANDMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Janessa,

      A lot of people are playing the short game. It sounds like you are playing the long game. I always talk to Lauryn about this, I don’t see myself next year, I see myself at the end of my life with a list of accomplishments. If that’s all I see the small failures don’t seem all that scary to me! Sounds like you are on a similar path with your business, good luck!

  29. Robert V

    Great post Michael, I truly believe life is about failure. Everybody is afraid to take that chance or risk everything they got for everything they want. Even the richest people today, didn’t go to college, but took a chance instead. Currently in my second year of college and a lot of the time I think about where my life is going to lead me. I want to make myself known, I have spoke about my business ideas personally and need to take a chance if I want it to work. A lot of us sit back and ponder to much on failure instead of success. Since being diagnosed at age six with type one diabetes I have always been confronted with change and risk. It motivates me to be the best I can be and nothing slows me down. I always say “I don’t live with diabetes it lives with me” and because of that I am healthy and achieving goals I have set to reach the top. Great words in this post I will carry with me in my future. Thanks for the great post. “from snap”

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Robert! A male! Finally I am not alone! (not that I mind ladies…)

      I think if all you think about is failure that’s all you will find. Success really is a mindset. Good luck with everything you do, and snap me if you need any advice!

  30. Jules

    Couldn’t have said it any better Michael. This took a HUGE weight off my shoulders- it was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!!!
    This made me think of how common it is for us to practice fearing failure (& mastering it!) to a point that it becomes a norm. And if that’s the case, than is it possible to practice stepping outside of the box/ facing the unknown w/ charisma- to a point of mastering it & making it a norm? – mhmmm? I’d sure like to think so.

    P.s keep em coming Michael, loving these genuine constructive criticism posts. #powercouple (from
    Snap)
    Jules recently posted..Failure is Just CrucialMy Profile

    Reply
  31. Danielle

    What about when it feels like you’re going through a whole bunch of failures at once? This happened to me recently and it was overwhelming. I’m getting back on the grind now but do you have any tips for those moments when failure is so FRESH??
    from snap!

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Danielle,

      I went through something like this recently with a business of mine. I think when you are going through a bunch of failures at once, it’s life’s way of telling you something wasn’t meshing right in your original approach. As long as you know this you should not be afraid, its time to find out what that thing or things was and switch it up so that the next approach has a different result! Learn from the failures and adapt!

  32. Monica

    This post is everything! Biggest reason i don’t do half of the things i want to do is because of fear of failure but this honestly made me feel fearless! x

    Reply
  33. Emily

    Thanks Michael! Like I said on your Insta–crushing it! Your advice works because you are F-ing real and don’t bullshit to make people feel better. You tell it straight. The people that have changed my life have been the ones that tell it straight to me. When I’m in a rut, they don’t try to cheer me up with a hug and “it’s going to be okay,” HELL NO! They ones that have made me better were the ones that give ZERO pity party and give me the reality check I need. So cheers to REAL people. A snap that resinates with me (weird to say that snapchat has done that…), is when you were in the book store and twenty-year-old approached you and struck up convo. You gave him a contact from your company because he put himself out there. HOLY SHIT! As a fourth year in college now, that really sparked something in me. Like go girl! Go out on a limb, or two, or navigate the whole tree! How will I know there’s something there unless I market myself first. So thank you for that and this and all the future advise you will give! Keep rocking’ it!
    p.s. FROM SNAPCHAT 😉
    Emily recently posted..a subtle changeMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Emily,

      First congrats on the comment win! I really liked this comment, it had so much energy that when I saw it, it drew me in!

      I am all about putting yourself out there, providing honest opinion and feedback. I respect anyone else who does! it takes guts! You have a very short time on this planet. It’s time to make the absolute best of it!

      Thank you for following on snapchat! I really appreciate the support!!!!

  34. Logan Levy

    Michael– I loveeedddd this and I completely agree!! (I also came from snap chat fyi!!)

    I really liked what you said about taking chances and knowing that with failure comes a lot of success. I recently saw a quote in a book I was reading that said “there are secret opportunities hidden inside every failure” and it resonated with me. In the past, I have always told myself that when bad things happen or you’re pushed into situations that are not always ideal– i.e. loss of a job, a break up, a finical bust, you always are pushed to do something better or find something that means more. You get stuck in daily life, the norm, what is safe and you do not feel “ready” to leave it, until one day you are forced too. I try and look at every single one of those situations as a positive– after i’ve cried a bunch of course.

    I am currently a marriage and family therapist masters student and were learning about different theorists and perspectives. One of those is narratives and essentially it says that you have the ability to write your own story and even rewrite the parts that were not always great. When you failed, it sucked, but it is about your perspective, and if you learned something from it and something greater came from it, then my god BE GLAD it happened!!

    Thank you for sharing with me. I REALLY LOVED THIS POST!!

    -Logan Levy

    Reply
  35. Page Cooper

    FROM SNAP
    Hi Michael,
    This post really resonated with me. 7 years ago I said screw it and started a business with no safety net and no clue what I was doing. Doing what I wanted (even though family and friends thought I was crazy) has been the most liberating, insane fun journey ever! I have definitely fallen flat on my face, but I just regroup and attack again!
    Thanks for putting this out there!

    Reply
  36. Carolyn

    My Dad always used to tell me, “What’s the worst thing that someone can say to you? No.” This set the tone for my life. I have opened businesses only to see them fail, I have changed jobs making the wrong choice, I have moved to different states and countries not always with the best outcome. But I have never been afraid to fail as ultimately I am the only one who will feel it. And what’s the worst someone can say to you? Exactly. I was a competitive ice skater as a kid and performing in front of people scared the shit out of me. One competition I just had to wear my new skates that were not entirely broken in. My name was called, I skated out to applause, caught my blade and landed right on my ass in the middle of the rink. Cue – silence. I mean you could hear a pin drop. And in that moment I thought I could get up and skate off, but that would be a failure. So I got up, composed myself, skated my program and took 2nd. I was 9. Failure builds character but going against the grain sometimes does as well.
    Thank you Michael for the great advice above. You and Lauryn are a terrific example of what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. Keep up the good work!
    Oh and this is from ‘the snap’

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Carolyn,

      Thanks for sharing your story! and thank you for the snap support. I agree 100% that failure builds character but I think going against the grain with the chance of failure builds even more!

  37. Erika

    Failing is what makes the successes so much sweeter! My hubby is an entrepreneur too and always takes the risks most people are not willing to take because of fear. He relates it to jumping out of an airplane without a parachute…I guess that is his British Special Forces training talking. And P.S. I get extra credit as I saw ur Snap! Good post, dude..love u and Lauryn to the moon.

    Reply
  38. Magda

    Love reading your posts on TSC, Michael — its always really interesting reading about these kinds of topics from a guys perspective! Looking forward to more guest posts from you, and getting more awesome book suggestions from your snapchat 😀

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Magda,

      Really happy you like the posts. It’s definitely been a new experience for me to put thoughts out to the world. I really appreciate anyone taking the time to read them and relate! Cheers!

  39. Aubrey

    I’m loving the Michael content so much! It’s so important for women to be savvy in business these days.
    In the next month I’m starting classes to get certified for a position higher than my current one. I love that you speak to the people out there who may not be inventors/entrepreneurs but just want to be more bomb in at the job/field they’re already in!
    P.S. The key to success is watermelon jerky. Trust.
    P.S.S. Saw this on “the snap.” ;]

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Aubrey!

      Congrats as well on the comment win. It was the watermelon jerky coming back to haunt me that got my attention! Thank you for reading and commenting!

  40. Anamarie

    Such a good blog post, as always. Checking this blog every day for me is almost like reading the paper, can’t miss a day or I might miss something important. Thanks for the motivation, I unfortunately don’t have a big failure story to share, ultimately because I haven’t figured out a passion that would push me to that limit. I’m hoping it will come sooner or later though. (from Snap)

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Anamarie,

      Thank you for checking the blog so frequently, I am really grateful that you do and I am sure I can speak for Lauryn and say that she is as well. Thank you!

  41. sdeg

    Long time reader first comment because of your SNAP! I like to live by the motto “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” love your insight and your motivation. Keep it coming and would love so hear real life failures and successes of your Michael!

    Reply
  42. Hannah Wolfs

    Feedback is what you want, so feedback is what you shall get!

    I’ve read many other articles on fear and I would have said I took something away from them. However, as of a couple moments ago I would have also told you when I started to read your post I again was able to take something new away from this(just the student in me). It wasn’t until I reached the end and was actually in tears. Which is shocking to me considering Im not the “crying” type. From my point of view you have clearly done your job with this post. I negleted to realize I AM living in fear. Reading similar articles have never once put me in tears and never made me recalculate my current situation. I found my reaction was a combo of how you laid down the truth and how you made me(all the readers) feel your true compassion for others to seriously rock the shit out of life.

    With that said, THANK YOU truely from the bottom of my heart. It’s almost liberating I cant wait to go cut some bad shit out of my life. As a long time follower of Lauryn I also thank you for pushing her to the next level.

    To Lauryn, its extremly easy to see the respect you have for Michael in many ways so its great move to throw him into mix!!! “From Snap”

    Thanks again to the both of you!

    Hannah

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Hannah,

      My intention was not to make you cry! If you got some value out of this post though I am not sorry that I did! I am really happy that you liked this post and found something here more than words. If I can provide any value to any of the readers on this platform than I am an extremely happy person.

      Thank you for reading and thank you for helping me with the fear of putting my thoughts out to the world! I really appreciate it.

  43. Haley Acuna

    Love this!! & I def needed to read this today.
    So my freshman year of college I played tennis at a school in Louisiana. I had multiple scholarships to go out of state, and that is what my parents truly wanted me to do. I could’ve gone anywhere and not have to pay a dime for school.. But instead I chose to walk-on to a tennis team that was in state, so that I could be close to my family and friends. FAILURE! This team was awful, the coach was a total asshole and ruined the sport for me altogether!! So here is the good part.. I left the team because I was sick of the bullshit and I came home to go to nursing school. I then met my life partner, am about to graduate with my bachelors in nursing, and I’m literally the happiest I have ever been. All my miniature failures in life have led me here and I’m so grateful for that! Failure is good if you have the balls to pick yourself up and move on!

    Reply
  44. Marissa Ferraro

    Another great post Michael! I found your view on failure really refreshing and completely agree with your view.

    I went to college for Interior Design and in my 5 years of design school I learned to embrace failure and everything that came with it. There were countless times when I would pull two all nighters in a row and drag myself to class the next, and present my design in front of many Professors, only to be told that the design I had spent hours on and sacrificed sleep for needed to be re-worked in some way shape or form. While this was always annoying in the moment, I slowly learned to love it and realize that in the end it makes me a better designer.

    “Failure isn’t an option, it is inevitable.”

    Reply
  45. Lola

    Thank you for contributing, Michael!

    Failure is an integral part of life! At the risk of sounding cliche, “it is always darkest before dawn”… without facing obstacles and knowing struggle we would not be as appreciative of our positive outcomes!

    I have always enjoyed visiting theskinnyconfidential for the variety of content. Of course, I love light-hearted, fun, feminine stuff,and the scando taboo topics, but there is also depth, quality and realness! Can’t wait to see what you two will come up with next.

    Reply
  46. Marina

    Absolutely love this post. I think we get so caught up in what other people feel ‘success’ is that we get so afraid to go balls to the wall with what we want and what we believe in. While I haven’t fully reached the point of ‘not caring’, your post honestly just reminded me of the simple fact that there is not end all be all. Shit is going to happen and things are going to fail, most likely more than a handful of times in our lives. If it fails, it was not meant to be (maybe at that point in our lives). I think so many of us need to come with the chilling fact that it is okay to scrape yourself up off the ground and have another go at it, or something else.

    Thank you for that post, Michael- loved it!

    From snap

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Marina,

      Thanks for commenting from snap. I really appreciate the jump over! It sounds like you have a really positive outlook on life. That is awesome!

  47. Mariah

    Currently learning about this concept in my yoga training. Fear of failure can hold you back but failure teaches lessons about oneself. We need these lessons or we will not grow. Failure builds onto something greater if you keep pushing and believing. Very motivational

    Reply
  48. Jenny

    It’s so funny that you wrote this post because I’m currently at this undeniably confusing/life-altering point in my life. Today I found out I am getting the opportunity to get out of my dead-end job and start somewhere with endless possibilities and growth potential. It’s a risk though, take me from my comfortable 9-5 job within a company that I know the in’s and out’s of, to a more serious and more time consuming position in a more renowned company. Am I sure it’s what I want to do? No. But am I happy where I’m at now? No. So why am I questioning this you may ask… It’s stability, it’s security, but at the end of the day that’s not what’s going to make you happy. Why should I go through life staying within a position that I’m content with but not challenged? I’m not distraught but I’m not excited. I want to wake up and do something that makes me feel alive. All this aside, I took an initiative (aside from the new job opportunity). I’ve actually been inspired by TSC for a while, along with Lauryn & you too Michael. I follow you both on snap and see the amazing lives you both live and I’m not even joking when I say that you both have inspired me to change a lot about myself and my attitude towards things. I, myself have wanted to start a blog for the longest time and kept telling myself “no one will read it” or “it’s pointless”. Then I stopped putting myself down so much and started thinking positive. I haven’t made the blog live just yet because I’m a perfectionist and fine-tuning everything, but I finally decided to go for it. I actually started writing this comment because I saw Michael’s snap about the gift he was giving out but after writing this out I realized I just really wanted to thank you guys. I think it’s incredibly honorable how much you interact with your fans. Even a few days ago I commented on Lauryn’s insta to find out where she purchased something she spoke about on her snap chat and you guys actually take the time out to write back and really show that you care about each and every person who follows you. It’s amazing and I’m so inspired to (hopefully) be able to do what you do! Xo

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Jenny,

      Thank you for this comment. I have a good amount to say on it. First, I am a firm believer that if you are not happy with something/someone it’s 100% time for a change. Will you lose financial security, maybe. Will you run into problems? maybe. Do you know what’s for sure? You will always be miserable at something you don’t like so why not bet on maybe instead of for sure.

      Second, that’s awesome you started a blog! publish it. It’s ok if you don’t get traction right away. If you like writing and it makes you happy, do it for that reason alone.

      Lauryn and I will always do our best to respond, I really truly appreciate anyone that takes the time to watch or listen to anything I have to say. It amazes me that people actually care and I will always do my best to provide value to anyone that follows.

      Thanks again for the comment!

  49. Anne-Alexandra

    Hahaha I’m pretty sure your gift will be a cube timer!
    Anyway, I was really afraid of failure in a “let’s do nothing, it can’t go wrong” way until I read The 4h Workweek. In the book Tim Ferris advises to picture the worst that can happen and then find a way to overcome it, which is a great way to build confidence!
    Thanks for your input and thanks Lauryn for having Michael on your blog ! I will definitmy show this post to my boyfriend to convince him we HAVE to take a leap year in Australia. 😉

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Anne! you called it! haha one of the gifts is a cube timer. This is the gift that keeps on giving. Have your bf take a look and see what he thinks!

  50. Coti

    This was such a great a blog post. The more and more I read, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that I have been talking about doing the last couple years and haven’t done because I’m so scared to fail. I’ve read this post 3 times over now and all I keep thinking is, yeah I might be really scared to fail but whats scarier is that I’ve let that fear dictate my life for this long. I haven’t taken a chance on something new or scary in such a long time. Time to change!!! I feel like 90% of people either want you to fail or try and convince you that you’re going to fail. Reading this post totally inspired me to just prove everyone wrong and just fucking go for it! Annnnd to start getting rid of the people in my life that are negative and unsupportive. Nope no more! Thanks for the post, you are awesome! FROM SNAP

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Coti,

      I am glad you like the post. First, get rid of those people. You don’t need them. Whenever someone in my life surfaces as negative I cut them right out. Get out there and prove them wrong!

  51. Shealyn

    Hey Michael!
    I just want to say thank you SO much for this inspiring post, this really resonates with me especially with my current situation. I am in my last semester at CSUF and i am going to be graduating with a degree in Business Management, but i am still unsure of what my life plan is. i get asked the question all the time, what are you going to do when you graduate? and my response is still i don’t know. My mom owns her own business as wedding florist, and everyone tells me that i should eventually take over her business, but i have a fear that i will not be as successful as my mom is. But as your post says “be scared that you will never take the chance to fail” really made me analyze that my fear of failure should not hold me back, it should push me toward where my life plan is supposed to go. So thanks! (from snap)

    Reply
  52. Melinda

    F – Further
    A – Attempts
    I – In
    L – Learning
    U – Until
    R – Reaching
    E – Expertise

    Real learning is taking a few observations, creating a conjectural hypothesis about those observations, and then testing the conjecture to find and eliminate that which is incorrect, the errors. Learning is change and failure provides us with the feedback necessitating change. Success does not require change. It merely corroborates that our action is correct, action we have already learned in the past. Mistakes are small failures. Mistakes can weigh us down if we let them OR mistakes can pave the road to achievement! Most of the time you do not need to be right. Every time you are right, you do not learn anything new. You simply sail along doing the same things you’ve learned in the past. Being wrong is an opportunity for change. It allows us to figure out what does not work and what could be done to improve. Anyone who says they’ve always been successful is either lying or their world is so fragile it will collapse in the event of any setback. Success sets us up to fail and failure sets us up to succeed.

    “Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

    #nailedit

    Reply
  53. Katie

    I LOVE this mentality! I struggle with the possibility of failure constantly! What if I don’t get enough likes on Instagram? What if I don’t eat perfectly clean and binge on ice cream? How will people react if I start posting about health and fitness on my blog? Will they roll their eyes? You said it perfectly: WHO CARES?! The reward is absolutely worth the risk. As long as a failing doesn’t stop you from doing what you love, was it really a failure?

    Reply
  54. Ryan R

    I saw your snap and decided to read your post and comment so that I could have a chance at winning a prize.
    I read your post and started to think in my head about what to write as time was winding down before the 4pm deadline but could not think of anything to write…my mind went blank.
    I then started to close the web browser and just give up in fear that I wouldn’t have anything clever or insightful to write in response to your post. But then I stopped myself. I literally just read this post about failure and how it inevitably makes us better, but we first have to at least try.
    I could have easily not written anything, but stepped back for a second and let the message you were trying to get across really sink in. Sometimes I think peoples natural instinct is to just close that metaphoric web page in our lives and move on. Chalk up another small loss and move on. But sometimes we have to dig deep and try again. Here’s to at least throwing my hat in the ring to give myself a chance at success.
    I read a lot of the books you recommend, and one of my absolute favorites is called the one thing. The book gave me so much good information, but one thing from that book that applies here is that any journey begins with one step. You can’t get to your goal without taking that first step, no matter how small.

    from snap.

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hey Ryan,

      Thanks for taking the time to comment and thanks for not quitting on me! I appreciate it! The One Thing is an amazing book. One step at a time. Cheers!

  55. Rachel

    Thank you for this, it’s exactly what I needed to hear. I follow you and Lauryn and both my boyfriend and I are entrepreneurs as well. He’s the co-founder and CEO of a startup and has been struggling recently to fundraise their next round of money. He gets down sometimes and I don’t always know exactly what to say because I’ve never been under that kind of pressure. I’m learning!

    It’s encouraging to see you both fiercely chasing your dreams and uplifting each other along the way. It’s not always easy dating an entrepreneur. It’s long hours and hustling. I’m learning that there has to be mutual respect, understanding and encouragment, otherwise it won’t work. It’s not an easy road – but worth it! I’m building a business too in wedding planning, slowly, but surely. Thank you for the advice and encouragement! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Rachel,

      Just tell your BF to keep his head up and to keep fighting. Having a partner like Lauryn definitely keeps me motivated! Good luck on your business plan! I wish you the best!

  56. Brittany

    I have experience failure many times in my life. From wrong relationships, to losing family members, to losing myself. In the end I see how those things really shaped me. My biggest failure was nursing school. I worked my ass off for 3 years getting into nursing school only to fail. I was really taken back by the whole experience. I felt like I let myself down, my family and my dad especially. Then my sisters who look up to me and take after my lead, saw me failing. They saw me not having a direction anymore. They saw me lost. It was a big wake up call for me. I realized and had to admit I never even really wanted nursing. That’s why it was so hard.. I was forcing myself to want something I didn’t. I didn’t want to admit my wrongs and didn’t want to admit I failed. It wasn’t until I saw a groups of special needs girls (my sister included) having a damn blast and acting like any other group of girls I realized they were my love. Now I’m 1 year out from graduating with my degree in special education. Had I not failed at nursing I would have never been where I am now. The universe brought me to this point. I had a whole shit ton of crap happening in my life when I failed nursing. I feel that was earths was of slapping me in the face. I was chasing a dream I didn’t have, a boy who didn’t care, losing my family at its expense all for a fake dream.

    Failing is never fun. It sucks. It bring you down. It can kill your spirits and take a lot of time to recover. But we are human. No one is perfect. We all fail. It takes courage to admit you fail and even more courage to bounce back up and take a new plan of action.

    Thanks for posting this. It’s good to be reminded of this. Even when it’s hard to hear or grasp. More people need to realize life is in most ways built upon failed attempts. ??

    Reply
  57. Ingrid

    I loved this post because it resonates so strongly with me- my mom always tells me that there is ALWAYS a solution- you just have to figure out what it is. So, if failure does happen, it isn’t the end of the world- just figure out the solution. I challenge anyone to find something that simply doesn’t have a solution..and now when something doesn’t go as planned I always think of that saying, and managing failure suddenly doesn’t seem so terrifying. I was pre-med in college, and despite always being successful in my studies, the idea of getting rejected from med school was terrifying..but I’m happy to say I am applying this spring, and this post definitely made me feel confident about my decision to. Thanks for all you do – its really neat to hear everything you say, and of course your snapchat is hilarious.. So snap sent me here and winning your comment contest would probably make my life. You’re the greatest!

    Reply
  58. chesney

    I had applied and interviewed for a job that i desperately wanted/needed at the time and when I did not get the position it devastated me, then not even a month later an amazing opportunity landed at my feet and I got the job which I am still in two years down the road and completely in love with. Love your insights on this post

    Reply
  59. Michaela

    Nothing witty to say. Have been reading Lauryns blog forever, and your snaps motivate me during high pressure stretches of the workday (I work at a startup..) oh, and I want to win the secret prize – From snap

    Reply
  60. Sonia

    I first failed very early on in my career and got fired after trying to do everything right in my education and professional life. Every time I’ve failed since then, I’ve been able to recover faster, pick myself up more quickly and go on to the next- big, better- thing. It’s always lead me in the right direction and every time has been a new lesson learned.

    Reply
  61. Sabrina

    One of the most inspiring things I read in high school was Walden by Henry David Thoreau, the quote that sticks out to me and probably anyone that reads it is “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived”. Years later as a sophomore in college I still think of living deliberately every day and even have a tattoo planned for it. What you were saying about wanting to have more in your life after college and to make mistakes and live and experience other highs and lows just tied with that for me. I have had many disappointing moments and experiences but never enough to be considered a failure. Which sounds like a good thing, but it is not as a result of succeeding in everything, I think its because I haven’t taken as many chances as I should. I wish I had a story to comment for your give away but I think after reading your post I will strive to put myself out there more and risk the possibility of experiencing a failure (but like you said, not with the intentions or hopes of failing).

    KEEP POSTING!! Love reading any and everything on skinny confidential!

    Sabrina

    (from snap)

    Reply
  62. Amanda Waltman

    OKAY the truth is I’m going to read this AFTER I comment because I just watched your snaps and I’m not sure if I’m in the cut-off window or not BUT I screen shot all the amazing info you share and I want you to send me a book! LOL okay now I’m gonna read he post. CHOOSE ME!
    from snap.

    Reply
  63. Kyla H

    From someone who got so upset over failing a few months ago I say thanks! It’s so relieving to hear someone so successful has had failures too!
    I’m moving on and forward and starting again, you’re right “who cares” that I’ve failed? No one really… And not me anymore either ??. (Hey Susan, I’m from snapchat!)

    Reply
  64. Julia K

    (From snap) Failure, where do I begin? I’ve learned that failure is what you make of it. EVERYONE IS GOING TO FAIL! It’s who gets back up and tries again who wins the race! Love your snaps, your posts, your relationship with Lauryn. You guys rock. You’re doing something right in this online world xo.

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Julia,

      Thank you for watching my snaps, you rock! I am still navigating this online world, hoping it doesn’t chew me up and spit me out (but not scared about it ;P)

  65. jordan

    this is so, so good. I read once that “people make decisions based on one of two emotions: love or fear”. it drives me craaazy when someone has a strong passion but chooses to make their decision out of fear instead of love. I’m currently in my first year of dental school at the school of my dreams. I got denied four years in a row before I finally got accepted. instead of being scared, giving up, and complaining about it forever, I tried and tried again until I got it. I do experience my fair share of fear, and this post definitely re-motivates me to go out and do shit. thank you guys!

    xx jordan

    (p.s. from snap)

    Reply
  66. Jtuls

    “Failure will make you better, it will teach you, AND it will humble you.”

    THIS. Many times I think it’s less the failure we’re afraid of, and more the humility. But, you’re 100% right. I recently made the leap from corporate America to agency life, and I am humbled every day. It sucks, and it’s tough, but I know that out of the challenges, I’ll learn important lessons that will inform my next steps and allow me to continue taking calculated risks and growing.

    Keep up the motivation, book selections, and guest posts! You both are walking the walk, and your skills and authenticity shine through.

    *From Snapchat

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Jtuls,

      Thank you for the comment! I will do my best to keep the posts up! authenticity in anything you are doing in life is the key to long term success. Cheers!

  67. Morgan A.

    I know I’m past the comment contest, I just have to say great topic. And funny you bring it up today, there’s something within my reach that I want to try but it’s so out of my comfort zone and it would really be putting myself out there, but I know I have to try. I have this quote written right here that I love that says “fate loves the fearless.” The worst part is that I think we (I know I do) fear what everyone else will think, when really who gives. Sometimes I try to tell it to myself like this, when I die someday will it matter what my peers thought of what I’m doing right now. No. Not even a little bit.

    Reply
  68. Amanda Waltman

    OK. Read it! Really loved it. And I’m really so happy that you share all this info with us! I’ve been doing the blogging thing for just barely over a year now but it really takes A LOT of work. So I can appreciate and respect how far you guys have come on theskinnyconfidential and the AMAZING brand Lauryn has built. It’s nuts, it’s so good. So just last not, no lie -and I HATE crying in front of people especially my dad – I was downstairs working on blog content (for mine & a few other sites that I write for) and I felt so defeated that I literally started just crying/bawling/sobbing out of nowhere! A little embarrassing. But I just felt so overwhelmed by the feeling that I work SO hard at something I LOVE to do and sometimes it feels like I’m going nowhere. But like you said “it takes time and persistence”. Sometimes I’m sitting there thinking “what the hell am I doing”….but the biggest motivator is that I know why I do it. And that’s because I love it. And even if it takes time and I try new things and I fail…the biggest measure of success for me is that I never gave up and never stopped trying. I never let my failures keep me from pursuing my dreams!
    Thanks for the inspo and extra motivation!
    Amanda
    Amanda Waltman recently posted..Friday Round-up & Request for Recommendations!My Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Amanda,

      Think about it like this. If this is what you love to do and you want to do it forever do you believe it should only take a year or two? I was speaking to Lauryn about this, if you are lucky enough to find your passion in life now, you already won. The success will come at some point but you already won the game because you are doing something you love. Cheers!

  69. Kristin

    Michael, always love how real you are! And how you’re always striving to better yourself and share what you learn with all of us … On here and on snap! It’s inspiring. And I love your idea in this article… Not only to “not fear” failure but to use it — use it as a driving force! (From
    Snap!)

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Kristin,

      Thanks for the compliment! I just recently found out that I am really passionate about helping other people find their way and their passions. If I have passed on anything valuable to you, then I am a happy happy guy!

  70. Diana

    I wouldn’t write anything here because it’s after 4 but if you don’t try then you can’t succeed and I’m a huge believer in surrounding yourself with people who support you and push you and working as hard as you can. If I don’t win the contest and I fail then “WHO CARES?” (in the words of Michael!)

    FROM SNAP 🙂

    Reply
  71. Laura

    While I agree with this from one standpoint, some people don’t have the luxury of failing. They have mouths to feed, family to support and might not have the freedom to take risks with a stable income. I think it’s good advice for young people who have the luxury of time and no kids.

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      HI Laura,

      Thanks for your comment and thanks for your opinion! I was speaking more on the idea of fear and conquering that fear in all aspects of life. Cheers!

  72. Kathryn

    Love your posts and your snaps!!

    For me it’s not necessarily about failure but it’s more about being accepted. Accepted by others who are either in the same industry or people who will purchase from you. Or, being accepted as someone who has something to offer.

    It would be great to see a posts about starting a business M&L style and dealing with mean people.

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Kathryn,

      We will do a post about starting a business. As for mean people… that’s easy. I don’t deal with them. I clip them right out and don’t think twice!

  73. Stella

    I feel so motivated and ready to take on the day after watching your snaps and reading your posts. It’s like drinking some really strong espresso. 😉

    I’m a stay at home mom of two who just welcomed my second, a son, via an all natural, unmedicated hospital birth. I’m sure babies, pregnancy and labor are light years away for you and Lauryn but I failed at my first attempt at a natural birth with my daughter. My labor stalled and long story short, there were hospital interventions and she was delivered after 30 hours, with use of an epidural which was a personal disappontment for me. I’ve always wanted an all natural, med free birth so I really focused on achieving that goal during my second pregnancy (reading books, meditation, taking hypo-birthing classes, etc.). When things got unbearable during labor, I just thought about how so many women before me had endured the pains of labor to be fully present for the birth of their baby. I also thought about all the work I did in preparation. Luckily I was able to forego the pain meds and it was THE most ecstatic moment of my life. Goal achieved… Without my first “failure”, I never would have had the drive to get me through. From snap. 😉

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      haha I like that you compared me to espresso! that’s awesome. Congratulations on your second son! That’s an awesome story! really incredible!!

  74. Theresa

    So I have recently stated a blog with my sister, The Lokahi Lifestyle, after years of following Lauryn and her success with TSC. More recently, I have been following your snap stories and have begun incorporating your philosophies into my everyday life.

    I am 19 years old, live in Ohio and am aspiring pilot. I recently got my private pilot’s license but had to put my commercial training on hold due to financial issues. On top of all that I am transferring from a large state school to a slightly smaller private school in order to get a better education and surround myself with career driven people. I know that this private school, High Point University, is where I need to be… there’s only one catch. It’s about $45,000 a year to go there. To say I am afraid is an understatement, I am terrified. But, on the other hand, am I just supposed to settle for mediocre because I’m afraid to take big risks? I feel like I am stuck. My parents are not supportive of my transfer decision, but my sister encourages me to take big (calculated) risks and claims I can do whatever I set my mind too.

    I read A LOT. It helps inspire me and give me knowledge that I can apply to everyday situations. Are there any books that you suggest I read that may help me through this unsure time in college? Like you, I REFUSE to make college the best four years of my life. I know I can do so much better things, I just need some guidance and advice from people who have been in my shoes.

    Keep up the inspirational snap stories!!

    Theresa
    Theresa recently posted..The Lokahi LifestyleMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Theresa,

      Thanks for reading and congrats on the new blog! Also that is awesome that you are an aspiring pilot! when your blog takes off and you buy a giant jet hit me up and I will set you up with a JetBed (www.jet-bed.com) one of my biz’s. I have done a couple book posts on here that I recommend and I try and snap books every day. Send me a snap one day and i will shoot over some books!

  75. Angiw

    Thank you for this post Micheal! I needed it. I just recently fell runner up to my dream job. I’m a tv meteorologist and it was in the top 5 market in my hometown. I was devastated but ya know what after reading this EFF IT, at least I tried and now I’m getting up and going for an even better position with more experience than I had before. You are so so right. Onward and upward and the fact that it wasn’t easy but you did it anyways makes drinking champagne on boats that much more sweeter in the end.

    Reply
  76. Krista Williams

    It’s amazing to see how this post truly resonates with so many of us on here. It’s such an important topic and I’m so glad to read about your thoughts and see how it’s help shaped Lauryn and the incredible brand she’s built today. Also reading your comments and examples of failures was eye opening.

    I really loved the point about college, I know there’s a new school of thought against college all together and I think it’s interesting because I, like you, knew that there was so much more outside of it for me to do. It’s a great stepping stone, but it’s safe and there’s (from my view) a much better life after it – trying new things, taking risks and making money, ha.

    Always love the posts, and got some of your books for my boyfriend- he is also thankful!

    Have a good weekend, thank YOU!
    Krista
    Krista Williams recently posted..A perfect EASY vacation dress + Birthday FEELSMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      Hi Krista!,

      Thanks for the comment and thanks for reading! Tell your boyfriend to follow me on snap immediately! haha im jk, actually not.

      Have a great weekend!!

  77. Carmen

    Hi Michael! Love your snapshat stories! But could you try and shoot from the same direction to prevent us from having to flip out phones around with each scene? I try to read your text but the phone flipping makes it difficult to catch.

    Reply
  78. esther

    Now that i follow you both on Snapchat, I can totally listen to your voices every time a read something on the blog. Its like having a conversation face to face!

    Reply
  79. Charlotte Burt

    Thanks Michael! Your post is a real moral booster and makes me even more determined to not give up. I have a dream as well, like Lauryn, but it’s taking me a while to get really focused. More so because of money, I need a job to live and survive and I’m lucky enough to love my job, but I also have a passion to be independent and inspire people with my writing and adventures. I have a couple of set backs and knock-backs which have knocked my confidence but I keep going. I love yours and Lauryn’s relationship and follow you both avidly on Snapchat (hence where I found out about this post) to the point I even pushed my bf to follow you both cause I think you’re awesome and he’s looking into starting his own business so I think you are a great advice-giver. Thank you so much for this post and if you have any more advice please send it my way 😀 Charlotte B http://www.theblondeb.com

    Reply
    1. Michael Bosstick

      hi Charlotte, I am glad you like the post! I really hope it pushes you to pursue whatever it is you are working on! Don’t give up! Thank you for turning your boyfriend on to me! (did that sound weird?…) anyways… thanks for reading and good luck!

  80. Maggie

    Love this post, Michael! It’s pretty applicable to where I’m at right now, so I’m really taking it to heart. Sometimes we need a push from any/all directions to help build the confidence to take that leap. So – thank you! Meant to comment after seeing your snap, but such is life.

    Love your posts and love, love TSC always!

    Reply
  81. Giancarlo

    Michael,

    well said brother! I was imagining we were sitting on the terrace at SLS Miami drinking Old Fashions while I was reading this.

    Reply
  82. taylor

    Michael, thank you so much for these posts! I live in SD as well (about to graduate college) and have thought TONS about the so-called “the next steps” I’ll be taking post-grad. With that comes a lot of fear in failure because everything is so up in the air. I’m a psych major but have a huge passion for clothing SO I’ve decided that I can pursue both and WILL succeed at both, simply because I love both and want to fill my life with what makes me happy. Between your posts on mental success/life tips and Lauryn’s stylish ass self I’m pretty obsessed with TSC. Keep doin yo thang because I’ll always be back for more. Excited for the podcast as well! will definitely make my drives from LA/SD more bearable. Hope to bump into you guys soon!

    Taylor

    Reply
  83. Mollie Moon

    SO glad someone addressed this! FAILURE is life’s little secret to success and I truly believe that failure is the only way someone can really learn. So, everyone should fail and not be afraid of it, but embrace it and love it because most likely, something awesome will happen afterwards.

    Reply
  84. Danielle

    Thank you for the kick in the butt, I seriously needed it. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be looking back at this for weeks to come. I love when you contribute to Lauryn’s posts it adds a different type of bluntness to her posts!

    Thanks Michael & Lauryn!!!

    Reply
  85. Jean

    Hi Michael!

    Oh my gosh thank you so so much for this post! It is so inspiring, and lately I have felt that I am “failing” at so many things in life but this post made me feel so much better and have a different outlook. I appreciate your honesty and realness and love to follow you and Lauryn on snap chat! Makes my day and literally LOL. Please keep posting and look forward to more of your posts!

    Thanks!

    Jean

    Reply
  86. Stephanie

    This blog article is absolutely amazing!! It could not be more true. In the kickoff of my professional life post college i felt rejection, failure, defeat. It wasn’t until i decided i would work my ass off, take the risk, and go to that job interview for my dream job (that i may not get ) that i realized all the failures before are what lead me to my ultimate success.

    Now if only i can apply that bravery post failure to my dating life haha

    I love the skinny confidential and i think both you and Lauren are amazing!!

    -Stephanie

    Reply
  87. Natalie

    gahhh I just love this post. I was engaged a few years back and I ended up calling it off. I had a single period where I became so free and liberated, more than anything empowered! Partied my ass off, hung out with friends, traveled, most of all LIVED and was so damn happy. Met someone a while later, and now I know exactly why it didn’t work the first time. Its like the puzzle finally showed me what it was trying to create. This is exactly what I thought of the whole time I read this post. Thank you for the reiteration. xo

    Reply
  88. devantec

    Thanks for your nice post .Really this post is awesome .Please keep it up writing hope that we will get more post just like this . If any want this kinds topic You can Visit here .
    thank you so much

    Reply