learning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

Laying Low…But Actually Really Laying Low

Updated: August 8, 2015
by
LAURYN

learning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

I have experienced some new terrain in the last 2 months.

Let me begin by saying I really don’t want to go on & on about my jaw surgery on the blog, but at the same time it’s what I’m authentically going through right now. So it’s kind of a catch 22, ya know?

Obviously I haven’t shared every single detail but it’s hard to not share certain parts of the process & recovery.

I’m very much struggling right now with laying low.

I’ve discovered in these last two months that I AM VERY, VERY HORRIBLE at just healing, resting, being.

And guys, it’s BAD.

learning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

I cannot take an hour of rest without some kind of stimulation.

Don’t kill me but I remember being an hour out of surgery & returning e-mails.

Right out of surgery I was scheduling vet appointments, walking on the Treadmill, walking the dogs, going to the market, working, working more, cleaning the house, making plans, etc. etc. etc.

Never letting my body heal, you know?

learning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

learning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

And then we went to Mexico, which was super fun BUT I am simply not healed enough yet.

Waking up early, airplane, travel, working in between, being somewhere other than home, pool, you get it.

And if we’re being honest…I got an infection.

I got an infection on the right side of my face before Mexico.

It’s no one’s fault, sometimes the body just rejects parts of the metal used for jaw surgery. So my healing process has been a lot longer than normal. I’m very, very, extra swollen. So long story short, I needed another surgery.

Last Wednesday I went into another surgery to remove two screws & get rid of the infection.

FUN TIMES (!!!).

The surgery went well ( my doctor is awesome!! ) & then I went to Ixtapa, Mexico. It’s beautiful there but it’s very humid which caused the swelling to become worse.

Straight from Mexico, I filmed & shot footage for TSC for 8 hours & then worked on my computer for another 4 to 5 hours ( I’m not complaining, just sharing a peak into what a full blogging day can be like ).

Again, sticking with the theme of being unable to just lay low. Constantly, I have to be on the go, moving, working, going, doing, calling, emailing, reading, cooking, etc.

Now I am back from Ixtapa & the infection still isn’t healed and I am on antibiotics ( 8 weeks strong! ).

Maybe it’s not healing as quickly as I want because…drumroll: I’M NOT LAYING LOW.

I am very swollen. I am very tired. I am very fed up. There’s been a lot of frustration tears ( & once I screamed at Michael because he didn’t cut my scrambled eggs up right ).

photolearning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

Anyway, this morning I woke up to a dear, sweet reader named Sam, who commented on my latest post:

Hey Lauryn! Reading your last lines about how desperately you are in need of cooling down the inflammation really touched my heart- it’s why I want to help people so desperately.

I guess first things first, and that’s your mind/heart.

You’ve got to have faith that this too shall pass, and believe in the incredible healing capabilities within your body. It’s not broken, it’s just struggling, and needs a good friend and leader to help it pull through and survive.

Work with your body, not against it.

WOW. WELL SHIT. That resonated.

I have been working against my body.

I’ve been trying to push myself to do too much. If I’m tired, I say to myself “push through it.” My blogging schedule hasn’t changed because I haven’t let it, even if I’m feeling a little off. My travel schedule happened two days after surgery when maybe I should have RESTED at home. My appointments, meetings, work commitments, etc. have not been canceled even though I am tired.

And now look where I’m at.

I have delayed my healing.

So now it’s time for me to: work with my body, not against it.

I should be: resting, sleeping in, getting off the computer at 5 PM instead of 1 AM, taking a break from house chores, being kind on myself, doing VERY light workouts, & JUST CHILLING.

Let’s go even deeper: why can’t I let myself relax?

I guess I feel guilty? Which is weird?

I have a lot of responsibilities with work. I also have a lot of responsibilities that you guys don’t see with my family, friends, & deadlines. So perhaps I feel guilty to just take care of myself…& just do nothing.

( I’ve been told this is how it feels to be a mother…thoughts Moms? ).

I just feel guilty to rest & heal.

But here’s the deal now: I have no choice BUT to heal. If I don’t start working with my body, my body is going to start working against me.

On that note: this weekend I’m literally doing NOTHING ( I might make Rice Krispy treats though, because doesn’t that sound good? I feel like they could melt in my mouth since I can’t really chew ).

Doing nothing for me has always been doing a million things normally, but this weekend, I really am going to try to do ABSOLUTELY nothing.

Will let you know how it goes.

learning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

Another thing: I have to cancel speaking at Create & Cultivate in Chicago. I AM LITERALLY SO, SO BUMMED but I don’t think my body can handle traveling in 10 days, speaking at a 3 day conference, socializing, do a blogger meet up, & being away from home with an infection. Physically I feel 60%, not 100%. I’m SO sorry to any of you that booked tickets & if you did, please e-mail me! I have a little ‘sorry’ gift. AND I will definitely do everything in my power to speak at the next Create & Cultivate event.

But only when I’m 100% healed & feeling like a normal person. Deal?

If anyone out there has any tips on how to CHILL THE F OUT, please share! I need help with this one. A lot of help. HA!

Ok, going to bed now : ). For reals.

– lauryn

PS. my dogs have been the most healing, relaxing lovers on the planet. It makes me cry when I think about how much they’ve helped me through the process. Little angels!

+ red lipstick | navy kimono robe

{ pics }

learning to chill |  by the skinny confidential

OH, ALSO:
 
  • LindaB

    Lauryn, angel face. Take the time to heal, we will all still be here…waiting patiently and understanding that you need to do this for YOURSELF.
    Xxxx

    • Amen!

    • Thanks Linda! You are so sweet! AH, I really want to be better at taking time to relax. But it’s hard! Plus I love what I do! I love talking to you guys and sharing what I’m up to. I’m such a go go go person it’s soo hard to turn it off! How do you turn it off??

      Thanks for reading babe! <3 xx
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  • Oh sweetie that really seems horrible! You need to make an effort and really try to heal your body… I know it’s hard, I’ve been sick for the last few months and we finally found out why and I need to rest, but never really do…

    I hope you recover well quickly!!!

    xoRosie
    Rosie’s Life

    • Hi Rosie! Oh no! Why were you sick for a few months?? Are you okay? Was it rest related? I hope you’re doing better. Do you have any tips for learning to rest and take time for yourself? Help! Either way, I’m glad you’re feeling better.

      Thanks for reading <3

      xx
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  • Wow Lauren!! I always secretly follow you and never leave a comment, but this time I felt like I had to! So sorry you’re having such a hard time with recovery :( but i’m glad you finally figured out what it is that you need. I’m sure you’ll feel better in no time, just listen to your body and start caring more about yourself and less about us. X

    • Lauren is dutch for Lauryn. Sorry 😉

    • LOL no worries!! Hi Richelle! I am so glad you decided to comment, thank you! But eek! I could never not care about you guys! You guys are the best. I love sharing my life with you. Thank you so much for being so sweet, seriously you guys have been so supportive. Surgery is a BITCH. <3
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  • Think about Michael, him having had invasive surgery, being very weak, tired, cranky, and needing to heal, how you would make chicken noodle soup for him, keep him in bed, keep him entertained by read a book to him, pamper him, cuddle him, protect him from work and other people, so that he heals and comes back to health gently and quickly. You sit guard and protect him. Now, do that for yourself.

    • Silva omg soooo good. Thank you for the advice. So true. I would def make sure Michael is comfortable and has everything he needs. He would have bone broth any time of day! LOL. Thank you for the tip, and thank you for the support <3 xx
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  • Sam is so SO right! About 2 years ago I had to have emergency surgery at the worst possible time in my life (or so it felt…is there ever a good time for emergency surgery?). The best way I can describe an effective healing process is to just ride the wave. Let your body dictate what you can and can’t do, not your mind. It’s hard and totally goes against everything we have learned to thrive as adults (we can’t say we didn’t feel like paying our bills, going to work, etc because we weren’t feeling 100% percent). But that’s the best way I can describe how I healed so quick- I gave up controlling and thinking and let my body do the talking. Believe it or not, it knows best during times of physical stress. Tons of love and good vibes your way <3

    • Mackenzie, first of all, sorry you had emergency surgery. That must have been GNARLY. I at least was able to somewhat plan for my surgery. Second, your tips are amazing, I really want to be able to do that! Do you have any specific tips? I always just push through, learning to chill is def a struggle. Sometimes I get in work mode, sooo focused, and don’t realize how tired my body is until I’m getting ready for bed. Did this happen to you? Thanks for reading! xx <3
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  • I can imagine your struggle. I’m a mother and blogger/you tuber. I don’t do it consistently enough for that very fact. There is SO much to do ALL the time and I literally can’t keep up. I don’t even know what it feels like to be bored, go to bed early, or have nothing to do. On top of all of that I’m a Beachbody coach so I’m always working extra long hours to help others and be available to them most any time. But sometimes you just have to give into it. Rest. Take a bath (without your phone.) watch some Netflix. Drink your water. Healing vibes Lauryn <3. I'll send positivity and healing your way!
    Tara creel recently posted..The #1 Way You Are Sabotaging Your Self-ConfidenceMy Profile

    • Thank you Tara, ahhh so glad someone gets where I am coming from. It’s hard to just TURN. IT. OFF. Do you have any tips for turning it off? Do you take time for yourself? I am so interested to find out how people do it! I need help! Thanks for reading <3 xx
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  • Another notoriously bad relaxer here! I’m constantly having to do SOMETHING. Here’s what works for me when I absolutely have to heal:

    I tell myself that right now, healing is my job. Resting is my job. And it’s the most important job, because until I’m back on my feet, everything I do is not going to be my best. Another thing is to put serious effort into it, like you’re used to doing with everything else! Wear the comfiest clothes, listen to the most soothing music, meditate for an hour, etc.

    Sending healing vibes your way!
    Heather recently posted..Homeowners!My Profile

    • Thanks Heather, and thank you for the tips.

      I feel like I just need to commit to it. Commit to relaxing, LOL! Sounds weird, but it’s so necessary.

      Thanks for reading <3

      xx
      Lauryn recently posted..Laying Low…But Actually Really Laying LowMy Profile

  • Let yourself relax! Stay at home and watch movies with an ice pack on your face. Stay away from sugar since it creates an inflammatory state in the body, which won’t make your infection any better. Don’t force your body to divide its energy between healing and a million other things. Your readers want the best for you and will still be here when you get back!
    Alexa Hampton recently posted..The Best Gluten Free Banana Bread EVER & ‘Everyday Detox’ ReviewMy Profile

    • Thank you Alexa, you have no idea how much I appreciate your comment. It’s so hard! I can’t believe how long it’s taking to heal :( I’m working on it, learning to relax is definitely a work in progress. LOL

      Thanks for reading <3 xx
      Lauryn recently posted..Laying Low…But Actually Really Laying LowMy Profile

  • I have the same problem. I am ALWAYS doing something but those rare weekends (1-2 a year) where I do just mellow… Pillow/blanket forts, records, books, tea and some movies. Documentaries help because you can do nothing and LEARN which makes it feel like you’re not quite doing nothing. Music you haven’t listened to in a long time gets your brain moving and reminiscing but your body stays calm. Anything nostalgic really, old photos, old movies.

    You’ve got this!

    • Thank you for the tips emily, I appreciate them! Also, “forts” LOVE IT! Might have to convince Michael to build me, Pixy, and BOONE P a lil cozy fort this weekend! I appreciate your support and thanks for reading. xx <3
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  • Honey, do what works best for YOU :) from your schedule you definitely need some rest time. Enjoy the rest of your summer! <3
    Cassie Tran recently posted..Poached Eggs on Rye Crispbreads with Sundried Tomato GuacamoleMy Profile

  • I think it’s time Michael takes your computer away! 😉 I think hot baths, spa music and lots of lemon water with lavender help me chill the eff out. I am that cannot absolutely NO person who has to do everything myself, so it’s hard but I find that if I mentally prepare myself to say no and chill I will. The mind is a powerful thing!

    • Hi Julie! M tries to take my computer / Iphone / tablet / literally anything with internet away! Lol, I am addicted it’s baaaad. Lemon water, a bath, lavender, and spa music does sound prettty nice though. Thanks for reading <3 xx
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  • Stephanie

    Thank you so much for writing this post Lauryn! I’m going through a similar thing- I have tendinitis in my knee and since I am always moving and going a million miles a day, I have delayed my recovery for months now and it’s been so frustrating. I don’t know how to rest!! I need to work WITH my body too. Enjoy your restful weekend. You look so beautiful and I know this all will pass soon! Love your blog! xx

    • Thank you Stephanie! You are so sweet. I hope you recover quickly as well. Maybe we both need to commit to a restful weekend? Sounds like we both need to take time for ourselves. Be careful with your knee! Walking is something you definitely don’t want to be painful through out your life. Feel better babe <3 xx
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  • Way to have that revelation – and kudos to the reader who gave it to you. When I had surgery, I was literally in bed for a week straight doing nothing but drinking homemade chicken noodle soup – but I’m a PR girl and it was hard to turn off. This may sound silly, but I got myself to relax by doing pretty boring stuff – balancing my budget, binging on netflix series, pinning recipes and interior decor. And I did NOT work out, for at least 4 weeks. Did not lift a weight or go above a light jog for more than 30 seconds. Your body is already working so hard – there is no reason to put ANY extra stress on it for some time. When it is ready, it will come back to you with so much energy and ready to tackle anything.

    • Thank you for the tips Meg. Sounds like you really took time to recover and your body appreciated it. I’m taking a page from your book and going for it. Getting in full on zen mode this weekend :) Thanks for reading babe <3 xx
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  • Gabriela

    sooooo true- do it and you’ ll be fine ?

  • I too have a problem with reminding myself to chill. I have found that meditating works really well for me. I need guided meditation because I alone can not simply turn off my brain. I use this AMAZING app simply called calm. It has TONS of different guided meditations (everything from energy, confidence, gratitude, anxiety release, sleep and more)…and its FREE! Hope that helps…it certainly cant hurt. Get well soon!

    • Thanks Brittan! Def going to check out calm, thank you for rec. Meditation is def on my list of things I want to start practicing regularly. The benefits are endless! How did you get into it? Was it hard to clear your mind in the beginning? I would LOVE meditation tips. Let me know, and thanks for reading! xx <3
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  • Lauren

    Inspirational !!! So many of us are like this !!! Rest up and heal !!!

  • Hi Lauryn,

    I have been following your blog for years now (pretty much my entire university days) and you have been so influential to me and my family as I have passed down tips and sent them countless times your pages of amazing recipes and life hacks. Just like I and my family CANNOT sit still, I have read that neither can you in this time of healing! That is what hard work is all about! I could not even imagine what you are going through and the frustration you feel but please don’t look at it as guilt or that you’re falling behind! You are such an inspiration to so many people and guess what!? Everyone will be patient with you (trust me)! I believe in the power of the mind, you have to tell yourself you are growing stronger and actually believe you feel more and more like yourself each day! If I could offer any other advice, I am obsessed with essential oils and my nebulizer, here in Canada we have a store called Saje and its my one true love, everything is natural and pure in quality. Im sure you have a store just as great back home, but aromatherapy might give you the boost you are craving for, but on the other hand you can used essential oils that can completely calm down your entire nervous system and any built up stress to really help you relax to your fullest. And as you mentioned, keeping your poochies close by! The power of animals is actually astounding and they are doing more for you than you can possibly imagine!

    Im done rambling now, but know that this is your time, no ones judging, everyones supporting, so slow down and believe you are healing and the sooner you can identify with the the progression (even if its a little bit at a time) the sooner you will feel like you!

    xxoo

    • Hi Bianca,

      Thank you SO much for your thoughtful comment. You have no idea how much I appreciate it! It’s been so hard to put my computer /phone / tablet down and just take time for myself, but like I said I am working on it!

      Thank you for your support! And thank you for reading. It means a lot you like the blog.

      xx <3
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  • Laying low and resting is probably one of the hardest most frustrating things. I can’t do it either.
    Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine recently posted..Friday Finisher 8/7/15My Profile

    • Ugh, so glad someone feels my pain Rebecca. Let’s commit to a restful weekend? I’m seriously going for it. I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks for reading <3 xx
      Lauryn recently posted..Laying Low…But Actually Really Laying LowMy Profile

  • I’m glad to hear the second surgery went well & that you’re going to (attempt) to rest this weekend and work with your body and not against it! I’m kind of the opposite. If I’m doing too much I always need to just rest and reset. I can’t always just go go go — although most of the time I have to. I feel bad for Michael though, getting yelled at while trying to help.. I’m not even sure what the right way is to cut up scrambled eggs?!?! lol. Feel better!!!
    Sara Hadar recently posted..Latest: Hair Product ObsessionsMy Profile

    • LOL! Poor M! He’s been so great through this whole thing. Eeeek Sara, how do you do it? Do you have any tips for relaxing? Do you just know that it works so you crave it? I am in some serious need of R&R. Send your tips, I will be so grateful! Thanks for reading <3 xx
      Lauryn recently posted..Laying Low…But Actually Really Laying LowMy Profile

  • Lauryn, I can completely relate to feeling guilty about taking time for yourself. It always feels like we should be “doing something”. But I truly hope you can now focus on yourself 100% and speed up the healing process… for me, even turning off my iPhone and all other devices and just reading or listening to calm music is like a mini vacation for the mind- which will in turn help your physical healing. We are all here supporting you! Wishing you all the best! Xoxo

    • Erin, thanks for reading and thank you for your tips. Turning off my phone… oh man! Thats a big step I might have to work up to that one LOL. Thanks for your support, and keep the tips coming if you having any more! Thank you for your support. Surgery sucks :( xx <3
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  • Lauryn,

    Thank you for being so honest throughout this whole process. I know something that helps me, is to watch documentaries, where I actually feel like I am learning something while still relaxing. All of us readers are here to support you! :) You will feel better in no time!

  • So sorry to hear you are struggling! The best advice I can offer is make lists! Whenever I am physically incapable of doing something I make a list for later. It is simple & silly but it helps me feel like I have a plan and not to be so anxious to “do” it right now. Hope that helps!

  • I’m a huge fan of your blog and always get excited about updates and cool little tips you happily share. This time I finally have a tip to share with you! I downloaded this app called “Stop, Breathe and Think” and I know it sounds hella lame but it’s actually not that bad. You’re probably like “How the F is meditating going to help me?” I know. Believe me I know it sounds silly.

    There is a list of meditations you can choose from or you can check in (rate how you feel physically and mentally and they suggest which meditations might be best) and they make you feel SO relaxed! I think when you’re itching to get things done and jump out of bed you might want to try the “body scan”, “gratitude,” “commonality of suffering” or “change” meditations. I’m not a huge meditator and it sounds super over the top metaphysical sometimes but it has worked for me and some friends so you might want to give it a try.

    Hope you feel better :)

  • just take a rest, you deserve it, we(your readers) will still be here when you are better. take a day, week, month, whatever you need. You are truly an amazing and inspiring woman. sending you so many good thoughts and wishes. (also just got the TSC bombshell body guide and LOVE IT!)

  • a very wise person once told me (ironically after my oral surgery) that “your body will keep talking until you listen”… glad you are listening.

  • Jen

    House work is always my downfall when I need to relax or need to heal from being sick. There seems to be always something to clean or put away, especially when you’re looking all of your own meals to stay on a strict plan! I would say hire a cleaning crew and do a deep deep clean so you don’t have to do any chores. If everything is organized and clean, I can attempt to shut off my brain! Books are always a great distraction, and for some reason reading makes me sleepy… and more sleep is always GREAT for healing! One of my favs is The Night Circus… beautifully imagery and totally takes you out of this world with all our lists & commitments!

    I am nervous for you being on antibiotics this long. I think you’re doing great with probiotics and clean eating, but it might not be enough if you’re still having some sugar (even honey, maple), alcohol & caffeine. When you’re able to be off of those once your infection is long gone, you might want to look into herbal anti-fungals and following an anti-yeast & anti-sugar diet to reset your gut health. I was on antibiotics for 3 months for my skin (when they didn’t even help… my rosacea turned out to be stress induced)… and it wreaked havoc on my system. Do your very best to eat super clean while healing so you don’t like the candida get out of control!

    Sorry so long! If you have any more questions about the gut health situ, you can email me!

    • Jen

      Oy, so many typos… hopefully I make sense up there 😉

  • Short and simple: ditch the phone and computer. I did it once for a week (honeymoon) and I’ve never felt better. It’s hard the first day or two, but then you’re forced to detach from everything. Highly recommend it :)

  • Hi

    I am glad you are resting and relaxing you deserve it!
    Feel better :)

    xx. The Coastal Confidence
    http://the-coastalconfidence.com/
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  • Lauryn, you NEED to relax. You just had two major sugeries for crying out loud! & we (your readers) understand if you need some time to relax. It’s not the end of the world if you won’t be able to blog for a week. We know you, and we know it’s not what you normally do. Take care of yourself. & I am sure that your friends and family understand too! We ALL want you to relax, heal, and get well. So take some time to just heal. Don’t exercise, don’t make any plans, don’t clean etc. Just read books, watch movies, cuddle with your dogs and Michael, and just enjoy some well earned relaxing and healing time.
    Heidi Kokborg recently posted..Goals for AugustMy Profile

  • I am seriously obsessed with you! I follow many other blogs, but yours…yours is different, anytime I read through your posts I feel like I just had a catch up session with my girls. You have been the inspiration for me starting my own blog :-) So thank you for that!
    Anyway….I feel sooooooo bad for you!!! But can totally relate to the feeling of guilt that comes with doing nothing, so I am just gonna share one thing that helps me. Whenever I need to do nothing but still want to feel productive I watch TED talks. They have so many topics to choose from and they are educational and inspirational. Sometimes I won’t even watch the screen on my laptop but just put them on and lay back and listen (not to tire my eyes.) So even if I spend hours watching them, I still feel productive because I always learn something new and interesting.

    Hope this helps!
    Hope you heal soon!!!!!

    XO – Yana
    Yana recently posted..PURITYMy Profile

  • I used to have the same mentality for years until I met my boyfriend who taught me the art of doing nothing (sometimes). One thing we do is start watching old hit TV shows like Californication, Dexter, and most recently…Entourage.
    We watch them from the very beginning to the end. Since the shows are so addicting, it’s easy to get strapped to the couch for hours, which is good for someone who should be resting on the couch.
    Try this at night time with your man or some friends. Set a time for yourself. Make is 9 PM. Find a show you want to start from the beginning. It will probably take you a few weeks to get through all the season, but by then, you will probably have gotten the rest your body needs!

  • Hi Lauryn,

    I was thinking through the surgeries how you’ve managed to continually put out amazing content and material, it was incredible! But I see now with this it’s been pushing your body too far :(. I’m sorry to hear about the infection, it sounds pretty horrible.

    It’s interesting how our body speaks to us in weird ways, asking for us to notice it and take into consideration what it’s saying. I think too, when do you actually listen, it speaks to you more clearly and acts more in tune with you than before.

    Now whenever I hear my body saying something, I say ‘I hear you, I’m listening’ and try to acknowledge and respect it for what it’s saying.

    I think the need for constant stimulation is something I struggle with. If i don’t have something ‘to do’ I honestly freak out (and then find something). Let me know how you get on with it.

    I’d love to know other people’s experiences with always having something to do? How do you turn off?

    Feel better, rest, and always thanks for staying up with us!

    Krista
    xx
    http://www.hundredblog.com

  • First and most importantly, keep your ass in bed/couch and turn the dang computer off 😉 I know it seems like the world will crash down on you, but let’s be real, it won’t. I am a mom of a 2 1/2 year old (you actually gave me some advice on food and working out, after I had her). (Prepping for a competition now, just to let you know *lol*…)
    I am the same way… If I get a minute to myself, I am either mopping the floor, folding a load of laundry, check my work schedule or chase behind my dog. Even after I had surgery, I wasn’t supposed to lift or do anything and what did I do, I carried my little one around and went on a walk. Needless to say, recovery took longer than it had to. You got some serious work done on your body and this is not the time to push your limits. I wish you the best and a speedy recovery. <3 Jen

  • R.E.S.T. I work in a very busy, high-stress advanced molecular cancer research lab as a research technician. I took 4 full weeks off of work. Did not reply to any emails. Turned my work phone completely OFF. My boss was very very very very VERY annoyed, buuuuut I healed up like a champ after my jaw surgery. Don’t regret one second of the time I took for me. REST!

  • Pia

    I’m so glad to hear that everything is going well and you’ve approached this whole thing with such an open mind. I’m learning too that just chilling can actually be quite difficult but on the other hand, hey, at least it mean you much love what you do! <3
    xx, Pia

    http://gymbagsandjetlags.com
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  • Elle

    Trying to listen to your body over your mind is hard but it is SO important to allow yourself to heal. I also have a hard time relaxing and being still. My husband always jokes that when I finally do make it to bed, he can still hear the gears in my brain turning. Meditation is a hint I get a lot but has never worked for me. The one thing that has helped me is to figure out engaging but calm activities that I genuinely enjoy so that when I do need to lay low but know my brain is going to make me crazy, I can break out one of those activities. I think the key is finding things that still engage your brain so you don’t get the opportunity to be too much “in your head.” For me, I enjoy things like reading, painting, and sewing. It’s nice because it feels productive but was not strenuous or frustrating. Hope that helps and that you find your calming activity!

  • Annie

    You gotta do you. Trust me, your readers love you and understand that you need time. You’re not going to let anyone down by taking care of yourself! Set a good example for us by chilling the ef out :)

  • Yikes! Sorry to hear about all the complications!! It is so hard to just sit still and be for more than a few minutes when you’re used to being such an on the go person. I’m working through my own injury so this post couldn’t have come at a better time. Get better soon!

  • NA

    Hi Lauryn,

    I saw that you’ve been taking antibiotics for the past 8 weeks.
    The one tip I can give you is DO NOT drink alcohol.
    This will not only cancel out the antibiotic but will do so much harm to your body.

  • Can I just say that, based on the time stamps on these comments, none of us are very good “relaxers” as well? haha! It’s apparently go-time as early as 1:58am! But seriously, we will all still be here when you’re healed up and there’s nothing at all to feel guilty about. Just know that we love you, we’re not going to stop reading your blog, and we hope you give yourself some grace. Because we could all use a little grace these days, right?

    Enjoy your weekend off!

  • You poor thing! I got really sick in highscool and college and had to relax, heal and rest. It was hard having all my friends out at parties, doing highscool things and even having my family go along with their daily routine I learned to love my bed haha. Get some good books, find a show (with a lot of seasons), take an online class. Also there is nothing wrong with working on blog posts or other work obligations just don’t put time frames on anything. Listen to your body.
    Also, I know you like watermelon and cinnamon from reading your blog but pomegranates, kiwi and tomatoes actually help with builing your immunity and promotes healing as well. Oh also Honey! hope that helps a little. Good luck and don’t feel guilty… the people that matter will understand and be there to pick up the pieces.

  • Oh my goodness Lauryn I’m so sorry :(
    Thanks for sharing your struggles and healing process with us. I don’t think it’s been too much because it is what your going through and I definitely think it draws us (your readers) closer to you! So it’s just awesome for us to get a real glimpse into your personal life. I really really hope that you feel better soon and that your body goes into uber healing mode. Just know that we readers will understand if your posting schedule or anything has to change for a little while to be able to heal! We love your blog!! And I know I am personally like invested in readng EVERY post! Haha. Hope you have the most relaxing weekend EVER!
    And as for create cultivate, tell them to come to Austin because I’m SO there and would love to hear you speak!!!!
    All my best wishes to you, I’ll say a prayer for you to heal quickly and have GOOD downtime!
    Amanda
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  • Hi pretty girl!

    So, I can 100% relate on a different level. After giving birth to Teddy 5 weeks ago I was like ready to conquer the world. I figured, I had given birth naturally so my body kicks ass and I am ready to go. But, I wasn’t. I did not rest at all and literally got an infection in my boob, which is the most miserable thing I have ever experienced. Since then I have tried my best to rest. I find if you give yourself time to work for like an hour here and there between naps, rest, movies whatever, that helps.

    Keep doing you. But yes, take a break. Get a few friends to guest post? Keep on the royal jelly and bone broth and maybe add some grapefruit seed extract!!! xoxoxo

    ALL MY LOVE AND BEST OF LUCK! xoxoxo
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  • Lee

    HOW TO CHILL THE F OUT….
    Red Wine, 2 benadryl, and a good meal!
    In any order;)….Cheers

  • You know, I started listening to Joel Ostend’s latest book because my MIL gifted it to me a few months back and it is just SO inspiring. Here is one tidbit that you can totally take with you on your healing process:

    You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.

    Rest up and take it easy babe xo

    PS – I want to send you a get well gift, I’ll email you about it xo

    Annie
    http://www.collectivepassions.com
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  • Rachel

    Lauryn, I completely know what you are talkng about!!! When my second child was born and contracted group b strep, it hit me that my best would never be what I wanted it to be. I was used to being on top of everything and putting in the extra time as needed. Time split between my two year old and new born in the NICU, with my husband working fourteen days on with one day off I had to let go. I was a wreck and ended up with mastitis (breast infection… 104 fever, chills, headache etc) driving to and from home and hospital to visit my little ones, eating in the car and sleeping maybe three hrs a night, relying on friends and family… I felt completely defeated. Once I looked at my situation and realized I couldnt maintain my usual standards, rather had to be simply what I was needed to be, things got easier and I was able to embrace my temporary situation. Sometimes we cannot maintain our usual standards and need to simply be where it is we need to be! Not easy for me! Wishing you peace and healing!

    Rachel

    Oh! And hire someone to do the damn housework!

  • Hi Lauryn!
    I am so sorry to hear about the recovery process. I can’t imagine all the emotions, pain, and struggles involved in the healing… probably overwhelming isn’t even the right term to describe it. First, I think you are so incredible, smart, and beautiful… You are beyond inspiring to many. And, I just want to let you know I’m praying for your healing and recovery. When I know people are praying for me it gives me great comfort… the thought of people taking the time to pray for me in the midst of my pain somehow makes me feel a little stronger. With that being said, I’m so proud of you for resting!! Have a blessed weekend sweet one.

    Loves and hugs,
    Jenn

  • I hope you feel better soon — having an infection that requires surgery sounds horrible. :( Hope you feel better soon!
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  • Lauren

    Hi Lauryn, Please trust in the work you have put into this empire and have faith to “shelf it” for a week or so. It is necessary to be selfish sometimes in life. Your body is telling you to turn off and heal. I promise you will still be beautiful and successful when you return. You will have even more of an appreciation for what you have and what you do. All good things! But it might be time to actually be bored!! 😉 Soon it will all be in the past. – I only write because you give so much in your blog and inspire me. – Lauren

  • I had these same thoughts and situations when I had my nose surgery and I was so depressed not doing something it drove me insane! I did however read a lot and take time to relax and rest and just realize it’s ok to do me! I learned a lot about myself and learned to just be lazy and know it’s ok! Reading really helped me pass the time and kept me engaged! Sending you lots of love and healing vibes xoxo C
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  • Gina

    Dear Lauryn,

    I’ve been a silent reader of your blog for a long time but when I read this post (and the one about your surgery, ugh!), I had to comment!

    I’ve never had such badass surgery (except from getting all four wisdom teeth removed at one time – looked like a hamster and had an infection after that, too!) but i’ve struggled with colds during the beginning of the year. And with struggling I mean: i’ve been sick for almost 4 months – nonstop! Normally I would have a cold once in a year but this one started in December (I’m a hairdresser and ya know, it’s Christmas and everyone’s getting crazy) and since I couldn’t rest it wouldn’t get better until March!! I just couldn’t let my body rest, I had exams and workshops and literally wanted “to get through this shit” – which brought me to a serious bronchitis. I was close to pneumonia when I finally decided to rest. It took me two weeks but thanks to healthy food, a loooot of sleep and netflix I cured it.

    So Lauryn, I know it’s hard and I’m definitely not a resting-type-of-girl as well, but your right: listen to your body and you will see how incredible it’s healing powers are and how SOON you will feel better!

    Sending love from Germany,
    Gina x

  • Naoise

    Hi Lauryn! I’m a long time reader, first time commenter to your blog, but I just want to say hang in there! You’re body will recover, and come out stronger than before once it’s healed :) Also, dogs are just the best companions for when you’re sick… My little Jack Russel used to curl up and sleep with me all day when I was ill. They’re so intuitive <3 Anyway, sending you love and well wishes here from Ireland X

  • My one little bit of advice that I used when I had to take 6 weeks off post surgery was to ‘give myself permission to rest’. Once I had given myself that permission it helped me relax and not feel guilty going to work because like you said, I have to work with my body and not against it. Our bodies know best :) Also I write lists down of things that stress me so it’s out of my head and so it stops repeating in my head and for some of them I write a solution to further help me relax and to again help me to allow myself to give myself permission to rest! You’ve got this!

  • In my opinion this time for you is a blessing in disguise. Consider it not only a means of “growing pains” but more importantly a time of growth for TSC. This period of stagnancy, if utilize correctly, is a way to grow your brand in means you’ve never even imagined.

    Because chances are, you haven’t really slowed down to think where you want you next chapter (or better yet, your next book) to take you.

    As a pioneer intern at FabFitFun, I’ve been following you from the beginning and I’m here to remind you to open your eyes to the beauty of life you have created for yourself! You have taken TSC into a straight up #GIRLBOSS blog. You are able to make a living off of your very own lifestyle, you have written a well recognized book, and you are about to marry your very best friend!

    That is the shit girls dream of!

    Just take this time as a sign from the universe to slow the f*ck down and simply enjoy what you have, right now, in this very moment! You have been working so hard for nearly six years making a name for yourself in this millennial generation and you have done it!

    In my opinion, you deserve all the beauty of mexican sunshine, shading palm trees, jalapeño margaritas and precious ass chihuahua’s that this life of yours has blessed you with.

    I may not be your #1 follow but I definitely consider myself a top 10, and allow me to reassure you — don’t worry about us, we will continue to follow your fabulously swollen self and TSC all the way down the aisle of your marriage and straight into the beauty of your “happily ever after.”

    The only thing you should worry about right now is your health! The true challenge of this experience is to savor the shitty circumstance as a monumental moment of time and just slow your shit down so you can revel in all you have accomplished for yourself!

    And if there is one this we can learn from Mr. Kanye West himself (other than how to dress fly as f*ck and interrupt a tween star during her most monumental moment in life) its that jaw surgery is the best thing that can happen to anyones career, next to a sex tape.

    Happy healing sister.

    Fins & Kisses

    Gennah Rodriguez

  • Hi Lauryn — what you are saying totally resonates. When I had eyelid surgery to correct asymmetric ptosis, I was expectedly swollen for weeks and getting antsy after forcing myself to practically hole up for awhile to allow myself to heal. Pre- and post-surgery I took VitaMedica quercetin and arnica tablets. Post-op I ate as healthy as I could (lots of omega-3 fish, salads, NO refined sugar or processed foods), and plenty of probiotics especially since I had to take antibiotics for infection prevention. Also took fermented cod liver oil/butter oil (love the Blue Ice brand capsules!). Had plenty of rest and also walked every day (was not allowed to do more vigorous workouts for at least 2 weeks postop). Tried to create a low-stress environment, essentially. All of this helped with the inflammation rapidly and I was told that I healed faster than others.

    It was hard for me as well to “unhook” myself from the phone, laptop, internet, etc. until I placed scheduled times for work and sleep time and committed to it. Perhaps give that a try if not already? BTW, you sincerely look fabulous both pre and post jaw surgery!! Treat your body well and it will thank you back! I don’t think anyone would be (or should be) offended if you took a week off from blogging or answering people’s emails for a few days or a week for your much needed recovery time! Wishing you speedy healing!!

    xoxo,
    Jocelin

  • Let me start by saying I am so insanely jealous that you have the ability to lay low. Yesterday I was driving home from dinner with my husband and our kids and I said to him, “Honey, you know this blog I read… the girl had major corrective jaw surgery and has spent her summer recovering… I am so physically and emotionally exhausted I wish I could have a surgery or something to pause life and recover.” Now, the issue of learning how is another element and I know I would struggle with it insanely as well.

    Here’s the thing: I have a 7 month old, a 2.5 year old, a full-time job, a grad certificate program at NYU in progress, I’m starting a real estate development firm, and I have a husband (he is super important so I can’t forget him… occasionally I even get the chance to go on a date and be nothing but his wife for a couple hours). I balance a lot. Too much honestly. **fighting tears from exhaustion**

    When I was completing my undergrad 8 years ago I had a horrible case of pleurisy and pneumonia for 3 months. I never slowed and allowed my body to heal properly. I was young and healthy and had total FOMO (fear of missing out). I jumped straight into grad school, an engagement, marriage, kids, and building a house. AKA Life happens fast… really fast. I never properly healed by body and I have a chronic muscle spasm in my back from the pleurisy. I live in constant pain. I don’t know what life is like without it at this point. My pregnancies left me with a sprained SI joint and I still have to figure out how I’m going to schedule in physical therapy again.

    And I never stop. I haul two kids, I work, I study, I take care of my home… Oh and I’m still exclusively breastfeeding a baby so I hold the adorable little parasite that he is and give him all the nutrition he needs. My body is soooo depleted. I wish I wish I wish I had slowed down all those years ago and healed. I honestly have so much going on that I can’t. I work on my recovery in one hour slots here and there. An acupuncture appointment one day, a yoga class when possible. If I had the ability to pause my life and recover I would do it.

    My point is, please please please, take the time you need to heal. If you don’t it could cost you so much pain and heartache later. We don’t have many opportunities as adults to be selfish, but when they arrive you have to relish them. If not now, when? Cancel all non-essential activities. Settle into your home. Decorate the new LA house. Heal.

    Forever jealous,

    Jenifer

  • Try finding. A yoga studio that does gentle, restorative yoga. I healed from depression that way! And make sure they know your health issues, you may even be able to get a private session. I highly recommend it.

  • Oh man I feel for you Lauryn!! I had pneumonia earlier this year and then I came down with an infection after being on so many antibiotics (and I HATE antibiotics!!). I am a full time naturopathic medical student and blogger and always under a TON of stress with school.

    One thing I have done that helps calm my mind and allows me to rest is floating. Have you ever tried it? There are tons of float houses popping up these days. It allows for total sensory deprivation and your mind can’t help but produce theta waves (the relaxing kind of brain waves) when sensory deprived for over 20 minutes. Its a little freaky at first but I promise it is so so worth it!!!

    xo
    Amelia
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  • Rest up girl! When I’m on overload (I’m a 2nd grade teaching during the day, blogger at night) I take a bubble bath with my favorite Lush products, sip some green tea, and relax with my pup. Good luck with the rest of your recovery, you’ll be back swinging at 100% soon enough!! xo

  • Amanda

    My boyfriend has had this surgery twice, the first time he relapsed. You are going to love the final outcome not only the comfort but if it’s even possible you will look better!

  • Rachel

    I think feeling guilty about doing nothis is super normal, sadly. I saw something I Pinterest a while back that said “stop the glorification of busy”. It really resonated with me and I Remind myself of that frequently. I also recomend a little pot sometimes! It really helps put things in perspective and helps me chill out. Plus it WAY healthier that alcohol (especially if you eat it). Just my 2 cents, take what you will! ??

  • Sam

    It’s me again-

    I’m incapable of articulating what I feel/have to say! Because, well, I didn’t think anyone would listen. I’m just SO, SO glad that you’re taking care of yourself.

    For relaxation, and actually medicine, nothing beats a good laugh, warm hugs, and some creativity.
    There’s a new trend of relaxation meditation through coloring; being a kid again, I suppose! I cannot name the specific product, but I’m seeing some Mandala Coloring Books (but for adults) on the market these days; there was one at my local Vroman’s book store. Or, just drawing, painting, etcetera. On a technical level, you’re stimulating those ellusive two sides of the brain- both the creative, and the ‘logical’. But then you’re reconnecting to your younger years by coloring. It’s like someone has taken a load off your shoulders with the ‘drawing’ part, and letting you roam free with the colors.
    Writing can be carthartic, too. Or making vision boards, dream journals, etcetera; power of visualization and affirmations help! As does gratitude.
    For laughter, there’s Cards Against Hummanity or Apples to Apples if you’ve got friends. Another side game that gets really intense but fun (requires at least 3 players) is Mexican Train Dominoes. It’s a bit complex, but once you get a hang of it, say goodbye to all sense of time. My family will play this game for HOURS. We have yet to complete a ‘full game’; we can start as early as 6 in the evening and not even be done by 3 in the morning.
    But, well, a good movie does help! If you’re interested in British humor, may I please recommend Monty Python? Whether it be the original television show or movies (Holy Grail is the best, imo), it’s insane yet witty enough to entertain you. There’s also Death At a Funeral, too!
    If you like classic films, there’s It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World (for it’s time, it was an all star smash comedy hit; the Three Stooges cameo in it, alongside Jerry Lewis and Bustor Keaton).
    Otherwise, you can’t beat the Office (American)! Hmm. Just prepare yourself for a good laugh, is all. It’s a good form of medicine, and you might just get a core workout in, too boot!
    I am a cat owner; we have 2 cats we adopted from the Humane Society, and they have helped me during my health journey as well (psychological studies have proven that pets can have a positive impact on mental wellness). They’re both 4 years old, but are still just as loving and adorable as the day we first brought them home. So animal companions definitely make a difference! I also think that taking care of them in turn encourages me to pause and take care of myself, too.
    OK, OK, another one (boy am I talkative all of a sudden) is YIN yoga! Especially when you’re stressed, tired, but want to do some sort of unwinding exercise, look no further than YIN. It’s a prescription I write as a yoga instructor to ANYONE looking to give yoga a try. To the seasoned athlete to the newcomer seeking to open up their stiffness.
    Quick Lowdown: Yin yoga is a order-free yoga practice; there’s no beginning and end, you simply practice a small handful of poses at time. The catch? You hold them for long periods of time. Beginners: 1-3 minutes. Intermediate: 5-8 minutes. Advanced: 10-16 minutes. Yogi Nora on Youtube has a great sequence. Modify each position to your current physicality. When holding the pose, surrender into the first sensation of a stretch. Little by little, you’ll find yourself loosening up and easing even deeper. Always focus on the breath and alignment. With Yin, you focus even more on the pose and your entire state of being because you are not distracted by transitions, pacing, or order.
    Soon enough, you can even multi-task in Yin! Set up a mat and a comfy spot in front of the TV or your bedroom. I’m addicted to reading books in certain positions, and am also guilty of checking my phone. But I try to at least invest a little bit of time in the beginning to settle in and check in on myself. 😉

    Those are my tips! Relaxation depends on the person, of course, but getting into the zone where time has no meaning and you are just so involved in the task at hand makes a difference.
    Get well soon, Lauryn!

  • You definitely need to get some rest girl! For someone as driven as you I’m sure it’s hard to take a work break, but people will understand, and what’s one week over the course of your whole career? I’m sure you’re restless, but one of my favourite things to do when I know my body needs some chill time is to listen to an audiobook and then do something small with my hands, whether that’s playing a brainless game, giving them a massage, or scrolling through insta (mindlessly!)
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  • Happy for you that you’re finally laying low! I’m with you and absolutely hate sitting still (that’s why I’m a terrible sick person too; I hate not being in control of my body and what’s going on). I’ll miss you and Create + Cultivate though! I live in Chicago and have been SO excited about the conference and *maybe* meeting or hearing you speak (b/c you’re a serious #GirlBoss when it comes to branding and growing a blog, obvii). But hopefully some other time b/c you’re for sure doing the right thing by just hanging back. Hope you have a uber speedy recovery!

  • S

    You need some ganja goodies to relax (depending on how you react to miss MJ), sleep to heal! You’re doing everything else right! I look up to your work ethic though! To keep you sane maybe give yourself 1-2 small “work” tasks to keep moving forward and feeling accomplished! Xoxoxo feel sososo much better soon! PS also reading through the comments, I agree with the readers that talk about mind over matter. It can heal ANYTHING to just believe that you will be healed and that your body IS healing. Just believe!! Maybe get funky with some fairy dust after magic brownies and get really into it?! LOL might lead to some good vibes ;);) love you Lauryn!

  • Oh dear, infection is no joke babe! I know what you mean though, as I read this post I’m currently feeling pretty ill but I can’t not work on the blog!

    I’m already a really chill person (I think growing up in Brasil helped with that), so usually I have no problem laying low and relaxing if I need to. Watching a movie, reading a book, taking a nap, going to the beach… I love it all!

    Hope you feel better, with lots of snuggles from Michael and your chihuahuas!

  • I’m totally the same, I can never fully switch off and devote periods of time to do absolutely sweet F all! Let yourself rest and heal… Easier said than done but has to be done!

    http://www.thepharmersjournal.com

  • Hi Lauryn, love your blog! I have learned so many cool and informative info from it. That said I’m sorry to hear of your hard time laying low. I have a couple of tips for you, the first is (one I don’t know if I got from your blog, but I love). Try the Hansderma Skincool Ice Roller At-Home for Face and Body Massage (it’s on Amazon) I love it to message and debloat my face, after workouts, or on my back when it is giving me fits. It’s so refreshing, a little cold at first but the results are immediate. Second one is that I suspect your inability to lay low has alot to do with anxiety, I know you struggle with it (I do too! boo :-() anyways as you know anxiety takes a lot of energy, your healing takes a lot of energy, and trying to live your “norm” sounds like it takes extra energy. Your poor body doesn’t have enough to heal up. I know you are not big on pharmaceuticals, but a very small dose of anti-anxiety meds could do wonders for you. You would not have to be on it long, just long enough to relax and let your body heal. You already take such good care of yourself, your body just needs to chillax and do it’s thing. I only say this because after a back injury a few years ago, I had so much anxiety from not being able to do much, that I was making myself crazy, that little dose helped me to relax and heal (plus I got feel like what it was like to live with out any anxiety for awhile). Just a suggestion about the meds, but the ice roller is the bomb! Feel better soon! Love your pups! I have 3 Chihuahua’s, they’re the best!

  • Oh Lauryn I’ve just read this now and wanted to reach down the line and give you a big hug. Give yourself as much love as you give to us, your readers. When I had massive surgery, I found New Zealand Manuka Honey (make sure it’s the 10+ HMF active plus) to be awesome for swelling and healing. That and sleep and yep, sorry to say, lying around not doing much. And yes, meditation is the bomb. Most if all be kind to yourself. Xxx

  • I have to admit I definitely teared up a tad bit when I saw that you weren’t coming to the conference this weekend. May or may not have been the reason I wanted to go… Lol. But you’re so inspiring and such a hard worker that it only makes sense for you to need your rest. The fact that you want to keep working after having such major surgery(x3) is incredible. I hope your recovery is speedy. Just know that we’re all praying for you! xox
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  • Take care of yourself! So sorry to hear about your infection!
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  • I definitely have the same problem. Even when I have leisure time, my mind is usually racing and planning/organizing. It’s pretty bad and it affects my sleep sometimes. I discovered an app called Buddhify that guides you through meditations. I can’t just meditate in silence because I’ll inevitably start having racing thoughts. This app actually helps me though, and just trying to enjoy the present moment and surroundings instead of being glued to my phone. It’s hard but it’s worth it. I know you’re in a shitty place right now, but when I am (physically/mentally), I try to just be self-aware, present, and grateful, and understand that the mind is everything and you will surpass this soon enough. <3

  • I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling better and getting back in the swing of things…. I was wondering if now that you’re starting to feel better you have any tips for someone now facing your position? I have pretty much the exact same personality type as you and my doctor yesterday told me I need to quit exercising completely and reduce my stress drastically or I could be at risk for a heart attack or my organs shutting down (long story) due to my health problems. I haven’t missed a day of working out in a year and the thought gives me so much anxiety, plus I don’t even know how to reduce my stress drastically when my life is always on the go and I don’t even remember the last time I had free time. I am having such a hard time with the thought of doing less but the doctor ordered it…Any tips for not going insane? :/ I’m a college student and school is starting again in a few weeks and I just gotta get my health in order before all that stress sets in again!

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