Finding Happiness || Tips & Tricks For Discovering Inner Peace

January 25, 2017
by
LAURYN

The Skinny Confidential talks diet and fitness.

Sometimes when I’m blogging I feel like I want mentor you guys in a way that’s like been there, done that.

Kind of like “I’ve fucked up this way, so try doing it this way instead! But no really, trust me! HA!”

But at the same time I don’t want to sound like a preachy/arrogant know-it-all.

I’m by no means some professional who totally has all their shit together. In fact, I have my own issues & I’ve definitely don’t have a degree in counseling.

On that note , I gotta share a little sometimes. So today’s post is about how I’ve found happiness on my own.

This is what has worked for me. It might not work for you. But it’s worked for me…

Ok so, being happy is work.

It doesn’t come easy.

I’m a firm believer that even if you’re pretty, skinny, rich, rad, nice, successful, sweet, etc., it doesn’t automatically make you happy.

I believe happiness comes from within. It’s a conscious decision. And again, it’s work.

In my opinion SOMEONE ELSE CANNOT MAKE YOU HAPPY. Don’t rely on a boyfriend/friend/family member for your own happiness.

GUESS WHAT THOUGH?!

You’re in luck because you can control your happy meter!!! ( << unless of course you have a mental illness ) Listen to episode 30 with Danny for more on controlling happiness.

Everyday I wake up I make a decision to have a good or bad day. I decide to be a happy person.

Keep the positivity in, push the negativity out.

Another tip would be to surround yourself with happy, positive people.

After certain experiences I’m super conscious of the people I surround myself with because let’s be honest: no one wants to be around a miserable person. The people you surround yourself is a direct reflection of YOU…so:

The Skinny Confidential talks diet and fitness.

Ya.

That’s kinda my motto lately.

If I’m making the conscious decision to be a happy person then the last thing in the world I want to do is surround myself with a miserable cow.

Reallyyyyyyyy though.

Why would I surround myself with an unhappy person when I’m working towards a happy, happy life.

And BE GROOVY OR LEAVE is kind of the best saying ever.

RIGHT?

So back to being consciously happy.

I’ve been through some shit in my life.

I could choose to sit in a corner & say “poor me” or “this sucks” or “I can’t do this because this situation happened TO ME.”

The victim would be a fun one to play.

But seriously, that would be so damn boring I’d go bat shit.

I’m a fan of taking a not-so-pretty situation & making it pretty.

This is one way I cultivate happiness for myself.

I like to aspire to inspire.

I also find happiness in weird things like going to restaurants alone and having a glass of white wine while working on my computer.

Other ways? I like to spoon my chihuahuas & watch Sons of Anarchy with popcorn. I like to listen to Brazilian Lounge music & clean my closet. I like to light candles, eat my favorite Brussels Sprout salad & read a book. I also like to go for a hike with a friend or Michael to talk/talk/talk. I like to blog. I like to take pictures. I like to cook. I like being around dogs. I like taking Pilates. And I like to create.

My family makes me happy.

Silence makes me happy.

Cleaning makes me happy.

& even though all these things make me happy, I STILL have to find happiness within myself.

As I grow, I’ve learned I’m a person that needs my space.

Space to have ‘me’ moments.

This is essential to my mind/body/spirit & keeps me happiness.

Again, I told you once/twice & I’ll say it again: you work at happiness.

If you’re not happy, what are you doing that’s not making you happy? What’s the root of the issue? My suggestion would be to find the real root of what’s not making you happy, fix it as best you possibly can, & move forward to live your life as happy as possible.

Because at the end of the day all we really want is to be the best version of ourselves.

Ok so, what’s your take on happiness?

– Lauryn, xx

OH, ALSO:

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  1. Emily

    This post really spoke to me.

    A few years ago I was miserable and couldn’t pull myself out of the rut. then, one day I woke up and thought NO! I changed my life and started looking at everything more positively. I got myself out of a relationship that was dragging me down and everything got better.

    I look back now and don’t even recognise that person!

    This year I’m working towards becoming my own boss and I couldn’t be more excited.

    Thank you for always inspiring me, you are awesome!

    Reply
  2. Stefani

    This is so relevant to like, everyone.

    I’m working on coming out of a tough spot right now. And I’ve found that working on mindset first makes all the difference (before making huge life changes).

    Your blog/vlog is so inspiring and pretty it sometimes seems unattainable, like, why can’t my day in the life be video-worthy?

    Thanks for always keeping it real and reminding us that you’ve worked your ass off to achieve what you have! THATS the most inspiring! 🙂

    Reply
  3. kerri

    ah being happy is a fickle thing. in the past it was difficult to control due to depression but now i have that control and it’s a beautiful thing. the ability to be happy and project that happiness – just manifests great things. great post, chica! nice and inspiring on this friday! xo

    cheshirekatblog.com
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  4. Anat

    I have started making to-do list, staying organized and on top of things really helps me stay positive and not get overwhelmed.

    On a cold day nothing makes me happier than a hot cup of mint tea and some video games or reading (currently reading: Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster’s Daughter)

    Thank you for being so honest, you are my inspiration to continue my blog and hope that one day it’ll half as good as yours. You are definitely a great role model not to mention beautiful.

    Reply
  5. Emily N.

    Such a great post! I love that you cover so many different topics on your blog. Including personal stuff that everyone deals with.

    Reply
  6. Cassandra

    Thanks so much for this post! I love how you mentioned a bunch of things that make you happy, but you still need to be able to find happiness within yourself. Sometimes I feel like I can do things that “make me happy” ie workout, watch a guilty pleasure show, take a hot shower, and then wonder…”why am i still [fill in the blank emotion]. It comes down to underlying emotion and dealing with things rather than saying well I’m doing x,y,z…why aren’t I happy?! It really does take work…you are a wise woman! xo, Cassie
    http://www.afitgirlsguide.com
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  7. Susan

    I love discussions like this. I totally agree with the not viewing yourself as a victim. But I’m not sure it is practical to “feel” happy all the time. It’s certainly possible to be in a place where you can experience peace even during adversity. Or to have joy in your life regardless of circumstances. I dunno, maybe that’s just semantics. I think feelings are what they are and when our emotions get the best of us, it’s time to take our thoughts captive and see if they line up with what’s true. Focusing on what we can be grateful for is a good habit, too. Love this post, Lauryn <3
    Susan recently posted..Little sunsetMy Profile

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  8. Natalie

    Thanks Lauryn! You’re right, happiness isn’t always easy but doing things we enjoy certainly helps. Thanks for the reminder that mindset is the biggest part in all of it. Have a great weekend!

    Reply
  9. Alexa Hampton

    Ha, we are totally on the same wavelength right now! I just published 2 stories about finding happiness, and they were so much fun! I think you’ll actually really like the one linked here — I interviewed my grandma, the most glamorous, fabulous woman ever about her secret to a long and happy life. She’s amazing! So are you, thanks for being an inspiration day in and day out!
    Alexa Hampton recently posted..Topsy’s Secret to a Long and Happy LifeMy Profile

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  10. 204 Park

    Preach it sista! This is a perfect post. Last year I decided that negativity is something I was going to choose to remove from my life and I was going to cultivate happiness. It’s work, it’s hard but it’s worth it. Negativity, haters and all around debbie downers…..ain’t nobody got time for that! 😉
    Happy friday love!
    XO, D
    http://www.204park.com

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  11. Courtney Bentley

    I honestly work on this daily and have to start my day with some sort of affirmation or mantra to use when things get out of whack. I really am a big believer in trusting the universe, I could say woe is me I have to move every year or so to a new country and adjust not being able to speak the language etc. but I just make the best of it and find that it has helped me grow so much! Sometimes you just have to deal with some shiz but if you see the happiness and beauty in the situation you can move on and live! Great post!! xo C
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  12. Anja

    I really really like your blog, but today I have to disagree. The last two years I suffered from serious depression and it’s safe to say I wouldn’t be here anymore if my friends abandoned me, because I was ‘miserable cow’. They were the only thing keeping me alive. I am a lot better now and now it’s my turn to be there for them. And this experience brought us closer together, even though it was hard and unpleasant for us all and I’m sure they were sick of me sometimes. So PLEASE don’t abandon people who need help, but send them to therapy and try to be there sometimes.

    Reply
    1. Jocelyn

      Hi Anja –
      I understand what you are saying and I can’t speak for Lauryn but……….while you were in your depression if you were surrounded by others in the same situation it is hard telling if you would have been able to get help or get better. Happiness takes work – and sometimes that is not necessarily abandoning those who are miserable but limiting or controlling the time you spend with them. Not to be cold but to protect yourself from sliding down the same slippery slope so to speak.
      I am sincerely glad you are better and I am glad you can be there for them as well.

  13. Nora

    This is literally everything right now. Two years ago, some personal shit went down and after that I made the decision to be happy and to always choose happiness. It’s definitely not always easy, but it sure as hell beats being miserable in the corner and playing the victim.
    xx

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  14. Coco

    this totally came at the perfect time…I am really trying to focus on positivity and surrounding myself with things that bring me joy and bringing a great attitude to situations that can be difficult. xoxox

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  15. Jocelyn

    Love this! I am a part of Ali Edwards One Little Word class. You pick a word to focus on for the entire year. My word is HAPPY! I chose this word because I know it takes work and I want to stay HAPPY. I am making a very conscious choice to really work on this for 2015. …………and it really makes me HAPPY to see posts like this that encourage and reinforce what I am trying to do!
    Love your blog! You always give so much inspiration! Thank you!

    Reply
  16. Cara

    I totally agree, the only way to find happiness is to look within… You def need your alone time and to stay way from negative people – totally helps the happiness vibe 🙂
    xoxo

    Reply
  17. Kelly

    Great post today, Lauryn! I feel like I learned the “happiness” lesson the hard way after a serious breakup. I had always been a generally positive/happy/upbeat person but that really shook me to the core. I slowly remembered all the little things that have always brought me happiness – without relying on anybody else to create that happiness for me. Now I make special time for all those things in my life – running, bubble baths, candles, flowers, etc. I totally agree with you, being happy is work but so awesome that we’re able to create that for ourselves!!!
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  18. Tara

    This post really spoke to me. I recently lost my mother in a horrific accident and my relationship with my long-term boyfriend has been struggling for months. Today I realized I hit rock bottom and I feel so dead inside. Normally I am such a happy person and I find the good in everything. This is a nice reminder that maybe I can be that person again someday….

    Reply
  19. Isabelle

    I definitely needed a reminder to Stay Groovy… haha but do you have any tips of how to keep yourself sane/happy when in school? The constant need for perfect grades/ social life can really be stressful– tips? xoxo

    Reply
  20. Tricia @ A Couple of Dashes

    I absolutely love this and it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for me. I’ve been struggling a bit lately, though I haven’t been playing the poor me card, I have still had some challenges staying positive all the time. I have just really been trying to make a conscious effort to look at the bright side and focus on the good things I do have in my life!
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  21. Alex

    I’m almost in tears. Thank you for this post, you have no idea how much this means to me.
    My family has been going through a really rough time for a couple of years now and it’s so easy to give up on happiness and blame it on the world. But I didn’t. I felt pretty shitty for a while but then I chose to be happy again and see my glass half full instead of half empty. I tried to find positive things in bad situations and created new opportunities for myself. But unfortunately my family wasn’t able to do that. I don’t blame them because I know that it’s hard. But what kind of hurts me is that they would always say: you’re so lucky that you’re such a positive person, that you can still enjoy life when everything goes bad.
    I tried to explain to them that it’s not easy, it’s in fact easier to be unhappy and dwell in self pity than to work on being happy every day. Because like you said: it’s really hard work. They try to understand but I don’t think they really do. Your post is the first time I feel understood in a really long time. I don’t blame my family for giving up on their happiness but I really need to feel understood and telling me I’m lucky because I’m happy when the rest of my family isn’t just doesn’t help. I’m not trying to have a pity party hear… sorry.

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  22. Courteny

    I found Gabby Bernstein and changed my mindset with May Cause Miracles. I did the personal work and was rewarded. For people looking for something a little extra to get your life motivated in where you want your life to be, I suggest Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map.

    Reply
  23. Sharice

    I totally agree with you. I was just telling my friend last night that you have the power to decide what kind of personality you will and whether or not you will be happy… You just have to work at it!

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  24. Zoe

    This totally reminded me of what someone who I met travelling told me..that only you yourself control your own happiness – that you can’t place your desire to be happy in someone else. That first you have to be happy in yourself xx
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  25. Elle

    This post is everything to me. I am going through a rough patch in my life right now and the big question I seem to be asking myself over and over is..what is going to make you happy? I visit your blog frequently and I sometimes tell myself, “She seems so happy and has all of her shit figured out. Hopefully I can be like that someday.” So thank you for showing me that you are human just like every else and even you had to work for your happiness. This post couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. And the Sons of Anarchy touch put a smile on my face because I just finished the first season and I am obsessed! So THANK YOU again for the reminders in this post of what I need to do to find happiness 🙂

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  26. Melissa

    I loved this post. First, it encourages me to reflect on who I am, deep down. And secondly, I love how real you are. Your line about how being “skinny,rich, nice, etc” doesn’t necessarily make you happy is so true and honest. You are obviously most, if not all, of those things and you still strive (work) to find TRUE happiness in your life. Thank you for sharing! Keep on keepin’ on!

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