Your support & comments made me cry on my post about jaw surgery. I’m not a habitual crier but you guys are all so AMAZING that I kind of broke down. I have a LONG road to recovery but with all my ‘friends’ online & family, I know I’ll be just fine. So thank you all. Seriously, really, thank, thank, thank you!
Ok, enough about that, let’s talk about probiotic cocktails.
YES. You read that correctly.
Cocktails with probiotics.
If that’s not cool, I don’t know what is?
Fourth of July is on Saturday obviously ( & if you don’t live in the US, you should still try these & celebrate…because it’s the weekend, mkay ). Bring these cocktails to a pool party & everyone will want to be your best friend.
Plus you’ll be drinking…healthy-ishly. Kombucha is full of good bacteria AKA probiotics AKA those weird slippery things at the bottom.
♥ liver detoxification
♥ improved pancreas function
♥ increased energy
♥ better digestion
♥ improved mood ( helps with anxiety/depression )
♥ kills Candida ( yeast )
♥ helps nutrient assimilation
♥ weight loss
O M GEE, RIGHT.
Here’s what you do:
Need more of a breakdown? No problem:
♡ TSC Mint Kombucha Vodkas:
1-2 ounces of vodka ( I like gluten-free Tito’s )
A couple splashes of sparkling water
A couple of splashes of Kombucha ( guava is amazing )
Fresh mint ( I like A LOT )
Shaved ginger Grapefruit bitters ( if you don’t have this, use a squeeze of lemon )
Handful of ice
Directions: add ice to a chilled glass. Add vodka & top with a little sparkling water. Add 1/2 cup of your favorite Kombucha on top. Grab mint & clap it between your hands ( << this brings out the flavor ). Use mint as a garnish & mix it into the cocktail. Top with a couple dashes of grapefruit bitters ( or lemon ) & shave some ginger on top ( use a cheese grater to shave ginger! ). Option: add raspberries for a festive flair. CHEERS!
Mixing Kombucha with alcohol kind of cancels the bad stuff out, right?
No but really, at least I’m getting my probiotics when I have a little cocktail-poo.
If you want to get crazy, go buy a huge pitcher & make this in bulk. I feel like you might as well for a holiday like 4th of July because you’re most likely distracted by the pool, boys, cute flamingo floats, &/or the BBQ. Just make sure you store it in the fridge so it’s super cold…YUM.
I can already picture you guys in your cute bikinis, mingling around the pool/beach sipping mint kombucha vodka in a sexy wide brimmed hat.
JEALOUS AS I’LL BE BED RIDDEN WATCHING GREY’S ANATOMY.
Have a sip for me, k?
Anyway, one last question before I go: what’s a cocktail that you want to see skinny style? LMK below & I’ll make it happen.
I’m SERIOUSLY sick as a dog BUT I wanted to share a little video I’ve been meaning to post: my super simple, ride or die beauty tips & tricks.
Some of these you guys may have already seen some of these tippity tips BUTTTT haven’t actually tried them, so test them out & let me know your thoughts ( none of this is sponsored, I actually love all of these products! ).
Brushing my lips: If you’re wearing lipstick ( especially dark lipstick ) brush your lips. Having a piece of red crust falling off your lips is no fun. This trick really smoothes & preps the lips. Add coconut oil to the toothbrush for a smoother finish. Read more here.
Dry brushing my whole bod: I cannot say enough good things about dry brushing. It’s really changed my life. If I miss a day, I feel off. It stimulates my body/lymphatic system like NOTHING ELSE. Read more here.
Color correcting photo finish: this little bottle of green goodness is FUCKING AMAZING. Sorry, it is. Basically when you mix green with red, it takes away redness. Hence the green-ish shade. So if I have a nasty-ass zit or a red face ( you guys get it ) it basically takes the redness away. I’m obsessed. No one likes red splotches all over their face, right?, & this gets rid of it. SO IN LOVE.
Rose hips oil: OILS ARE MY OBSESSION. I use oil on everything. My hair, body, & to burn ( I’ll do a post soon ). Rose hips oil is great for makeup remover & to mix a dot with foundation. It gives the foundation a dewey, pretty finish. Just one drop mixed with your foundation & you’re good to go! Also, this tip makes your foundation/concealer last longer so essentially you’re saving money too ( by the way, I also love tea tree oil to zap zits ).
Color correcting duo: this is kind of like a random find. Literally I think I got it in a Victoria’s Secret swag bag that they were giving out for free at the mall. It’s this long, ugly-ish stick. The stick sat in my bathroom for 2 years until I finally tried it out. And now?! It’s my FAVORITE makeup product. One side is like a highlighter to use under brows & on top of your lip. And the other side is a green color that will make a pimple disappear in an instant ( because again, green takes the red away! ). Miracle stick!
Out of all these I’m especially in love with the Miracle Blur. It really fills in lines & just works for a good selfie, ya know? LOL. Plus it creates a smooth canvas for foundation & moisturizer. LOVE.
Ok, so what’s your favorite drugstore find that I have to check out? PLEASSSSE share, I love trying AMAZING drugstore products.
“You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it.”
I don’t know if you guys know a lot about regular douching but I’m so not a fan.
Douching ( with a Rite-Aid, store bought kind of douche ) basically sucks bacteria out of your vag-jay. Now this sounds awesome & all BUT it also sucks the good bacteria out too. SO NO thanks. YOU need good bacteria. It’s good for ya.
This though, this vag steaming is different.
It’s all-natural & holistic. Check out its benefits:
♥ Significantly reduce discomfort, bloating and exhaustion associated with monthly cycles
♥ Decrease menstrual flow as well as reduce dark purple or brown blood at the onset or end of menses
♥ Regulate irregular or absent menstrual cycles
♥ Increase fertility, especially when combined with Mayan abdominal massage
♥ Speed healing and tone the reproductive system after birth
♥ Treat uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, uterine weakness and uterine prolapse
♥ Assist with the healing of hemorrhoids
♥ Treat chronic vaginal/yeast infections, and maintain healthy odor
♥ Relieve symptoms of menopause
Supposedly it’s reallllly known to help with cramps & fertility. More here.
As this women says ( & I SO AGREE ): “Often, I think some take the care of their vaginal/perianal area a little too lightly. It is the core of who and what we are as women; it brings forth life, love, pleasure, etc. We must learn to take care, treat and respect our vagina and womb.”
Ok so, here’s a bit of background for all of you who are still reading ( with your mouths hanging open, hiding the screen from your bf/boss ): “the V-steam is the Americanized version of a centuries-old Korean tradition called chai-yok, during which women hover over a piping hot cauldron of Wormwood and Mugwort to be thoroughly cleansed from the inside out. Wormwood and Mugwort, which sounds like a class Neville Longbottom would excel in at Hogwarts, are actually herbs that have alleged antibiotic and antifungal properties, as well as healing powers. Basically, it’s sorcery for your vagina. The average chai-yok session promises to reduce stress, fight infections, regulate your menstrual cycle, alleviate hemorrhoids, promote circulation, correct digestive disorders and clear up hormonal acne. Yes, vaginal steaming is the secret to world peace. Or, you know, a bunch of hooey. Either way.”
Ok so sorcery for MY VAGINA?
Sounds cool, right.
You know it does guys. Don’t lie.
I can’t be the only woman on the planet who’s intrigued? I mean? Eer, maybe?
Now as much as I’d love to say I’m currently vagina steaming while writing this post, unfortunately I’m not. I’m not that good at multi-tasking.
But I’m so totally planning on giving it a little whirly-whirl this weekend.
( Don’t be jealous of my Sunday activities, guys ).
Maybe I’ll Snapchat it.
I kid, I kid.
& MAYBE, JUST MAYBE Michael will do it with me because apparently there’s something called A-STEAMING…for men’s butts. MEOW.
Obviously I played around on Google & found someone’s intense, serious in detail interview ( THE MORE THE BETTER!! ).
“Entering the vagina steaming room ( I just don’t know what else to call it ), I’m faced with what looks like a Victorian police cell toilet situated over a steaming pot of Grandma’s Chai Spice Vagina tea. I hover over the hole in the seat just so and then settle down so that the steam may rise into That Which Is Most Sacred. I cannot tell a lie: At first, it feels incredibly weird to have hot wet air wafting into my cooch. My entire body tenses as I actively clench my vaginal muscles to protect myself from the invading shower of scorching steam. It would feel exactly like the poison fog from the Hunger Games arena, I think. First a burning heat and then convulsion after convulsion of electric pain!
No, no. I have to stop this! I didn’t pay $50 to sit here and push hot air out of my vagina. I paid $50 to become more like Gwyneth and Gwyneth relaxes into things; she consciously uncouples, like, all the time. She allows herself to engage in humiliating white girl rapping. She rides motorcycles around Spain with her best friend, Mario Batali. Respect.
I force myself to take deep breaths and visualize my vagina opening like a freshly painted Georgia O’Keefe, inviting the warm breath of life inside my uterus. Welcome, I said. And as I say this, I begin to ease into it. It feels foreign, but not bad; like visiting a new country that you weren’t sure would be safe for women travelers and then stumbling upon a lesbian bookstore collective. And you know what? I like it. I zen out as my vagina sucks up steam and drips out whatever; I fantasize about getting a really good spa-style exfoliating scrub beatdown afterwards. I want to feel as clean on the outside as I feel on the inside. Which is to say, very clean. Squeaky clean. Just me and my squeaky clean vagina.
At the end of my 30 minutes, I stand up and have a distinct feeling of emptiness. Not in a scary way but in a calming way. I feel good. I imagine this is how Gwyneth Paltrow feels all the time; empty and just a little bit better than other people. It’s almost like I can hear her voice whispering into my vagina. And Gwyneth is saying “You are living your best life, Laura.” Or maybe that’s Oprah.“
This woman must be my spirit animal or something.
I feel like we need to go to the vagina spa together.
Regardless, I think I’m gonna go DIY on this one. If you’re just dying to try this at home, read the oh-so-cute instructions here. I’M NOT GOING TO LIE, I WATCHED THE WHOLE YOUTUBE DIY, AT HOME TUTORIAL TOO ( maybe I’ll do a tutorial on this too…lol! ).
SO. There I’ll be on Sunday, creating my own vagina spa at Casa De Lauryn. Anyone wanna R.S.V.P.?
(P.S. IF YOU’VE V-STEAMED BEFORE YOU HAVE TO SHARE YOUR STORY. SO NOT FAIR IF YOU DON’T SHARE!!)
Call me weird but date night is an important part of my life.
It’s an opportunity for me & Michael to go out and talk ( without our phones ) or any other distractions. We typically order a nice bottle of red wine and split an appetizer. Usually we try ( keyword: ‘try’ ) to avoid any convo about work too.
But let’s talk about pre-date night.
Like, you know, how to prepare.
If you know me, you know my middle name is procrastination so prepping isn’t exactly my strong spot? LOL?
That’s why I need to find a quick ( I MEAN QUICK! ) way to look hot. BASICALLY I’M ALWAYS RUNNING LATE SO I’M LUCKY IF I GET A HALF AN HOUR TO PREP FOR DATE NIGHT.
Top three priorities:
AKA: duh, duh, & DUH.
Those three things can change your look and don’t require 5 million hours of prep.
Let’s start with hair.
I get a lot of questions on hair so I figured a visual would be the best way to explain. For date night, I utilize the five minute to fab rule. All I do is spray my hair with a little oil ( lately I’ve been loving the Wella Professionals LuxeOil Leave-In Conditioning Spray ). I like to put the oil towards my ends so it seals in/repairs any serious split ends and leaves my hair smelling great ( AND gives Michael a reason to lean in a little closer ).
If you’re afraid of oil on your hair, DON’T BE. It makes such a difference if you’re using the correct kind. And it also matters where on the hair you place it. Obviously you don’t want to rub oil on your roots. Keep it towards the ends of your hair & you’ll be a very, VERY happy camper.
After the oil I put my hair in to a low Sleep Bun.
The low Sleep Bun allows me to keep my hair off my face while I slab on some quick makeup. Also it primes the hair for exactly the look I’m going for.THENNNN I go in for makeup. Think: quick Laura Mercier foundation, a little brow powder, my prime/curl/prime/mascara method, & last but CERTAINLY not least a bold lip. A bold lip looks like I put a million hours into the look when really I’ve had 20 to 30 minutes to get ready, on a lucky day.
After my makeup is done I’ll throw on a baggy, chic blouse, some tight jeans, and PUMPS!! Pumps are quick to throw on & they add some height which scream sex appeal.
The Sleep Bun wave is the perfect, effortless hair do for date night. I can’t wait to show you guys the final look…
Stay tuned for date night, part two later next week!!
What are your sexy, sassy date night prep tips?
P.S. Speaking of date night, Wella is partnering with Match.com to encourage woman to show off their date night hair! Submit your date night look when the contest kicks off next week & follow @WellaHairUSA for more deets!