Posts Tagged ‘The Skinny Confidential’

Can’t Leave The Grocery Store Without…

grocery list | by the skinny confidential

Hello hello!

So I’ve been studying my own habits lately.

Is that weird?

It sounds conceited but it’s not really, because I’ve only been studying my grocery habits. What a bore, right. Ha.

Maybe it sounds strange but a question I get asked a lot is: what are your favorite snacks?

My snacks begin at the market SOOOOO on that little note, I’ve complied a list of ten things I absolutely HAVE to have while grocery shopping. If you haven’t noticed yet, I like my routine, so these ten things make a cameo in my cart weekly:

1.} Avocado, or actually more specifically Whole Foods guacamole: 

Ok so, currently have a full blown love affair with Whole Foods guacamole. 1.) Because I can’t eat hard food ( JAW SURGERY ) so I literally stuff my face with WF guac. 2.) It’s all natural with avocado, tomatoes, onions, garlic, lemon, & lime. YUM. And 3.) it’s so DAMN FRESH.

I eat this on my eggs, plain, on chicken tacos, on top of lentils, & weirdly, I’ve been dipping raw cheddar goat cheese in it. Hey, you do what you gotta do when you can’t crunch on chips, ya know.

Also, avocados always have a place in my cart. I love snacking on them because they’re SO filling. Cut one in half, add chile flakes, sea salt, & lemon and ENJOY! Healthy fats are so good for your skin…& YOU!

2.} Grapefruits & Meyer lemons:

This is a no brainer because I drink TSC Pink Detox Drink every morning. I have both of these citrus-y, juicy fruits on hand 24/7. Grapefruit goes in my daily drink and the Meyer lemon goes on…well, err everything. Seriously: pizza, steak, sparkling water, berries, salads, dressings, salmon, pasta, & like six million other dishes. I’d rather die than give up lemon.

3.} Steel cut oats:

Yum. One of my favorites. I go through a container a week. I love steel cut oats ( about 1/4 cup ) in the AM with magic seeds, mashed berries, coconut sugar, & almond milk. So simple, so easy. It’s full of fiber so it helps everything stay regular. Fiber is GOD.

This is my favorite steel cut oats brand because there’s no added shit.

4.} Raw nut butter:

I’m obsessed with adding raw sunflower or almond butter to my oatmeal, smoothies, or…just eating it plain with a spoon. It’s full of protein & super filling. Make sure when you’re reaching for nut butters it says ‘RAW’ in front of the nut butter of choice. The raw/organic is more expensive than un-raw ( is that a word? LOL ) but it’s worth it! The benefits are endless. I like unsalted too. Keep it simple! You can find my pick of choice on Amazon, as well as in stores.

Realness: I shove so much nut butter in my mouth since surgery, it’s almost disgusting…the things you’ll do when you can’t eat hard foods. HA!

5.} Berries, specifically blueberries & raspberries:

No brainer. I add berries to everything. I’ve been having a real raspberry moment because they’re easy to mash.

Berries are full of antioxidants & ideal for smoothies. I always reach for organic if possible.

6.} Non-dairy milk:

Drinking non-dairy milk just tastes better than regular milk. My favorites are unsweetened coconut milk ( like this one ) & unsweetened 365 Whole Foods almond milk brand ( because it doesn’t have carrageenan!! ). Huge fan of adding coconut milk to my cold brew AM coffee or making PUDDING. Check out this recipe, it’s fabulous for breakfast.

I tend to add almond milk to my smoothies & oatmeal because there’s some protein in it.

And listen— yes it’s ideal to make your own almond milk at home but really who the hell has time for that?! If you do, I’m jealous. One day. ( A girl can dream. )

7.} Wild salmon lox:

Fabulous protein! I reach for wild salmon lox & add it to toast with chopped onions, capers, and lemons. You can also do this with crackers. SO yummy.

Sometimes when I’m in a rush, I throw kale, chopped carrots, onions, pieces of salmon lox, & lemon into a bowl. It’s like a 5 second salad. YUM.

8.} Kale or arugula:

Kale, I use in smoothies. Arugula, I use for salads. Sometimes I’m in a kale mood, other times I’m playing for team arugula. Both of these lettuces are full of antioxidants & minerals.

Also, do NOT be afraid of kale. Learn how to massage it ( yes this is a thing ) & you will love it.

Kale is also delicious with olive oil, lemon, pink salt, cracked pepper, & sliced grapefruit. YUMMMM.

9.} Cage free eggs:

I do not leave the grocery store without Vital Farms cage free eggs. They’re non-GMO & DELICIOUS. I cook them with grass-fed butter & then throw them on top of a bed of arugula. Usually I cook 3 scrambled eggs & ALWAYS use the yolks— they’re full of benefits. Another fun way to use eggs is in TSC 3 ingredient pancakes.

Overall, I’m a huge egg lover!

10.} Lentils or chickpeas:

Last but certainly not least: LENTILS!! Lentils are insane. They’re one of the best carbs you can put in your body. Lately I’ve been making lentil tacos on lettuce cups. I add mango salsa, goat cheese, chopped onions, garlic, & raw jalapeño. They make a great meat substitute ( especially for vegetarians ).

I’ve also been drawn to chickpeas lately because they’re super easy to mash ( again JAW SURGERY! ). I mash them up & add lemon, garlic, & a little hot sauce and throw them on top of a salad. Soooo good.

When you’re picking out lentils & chickpeas make sure there’s nothing else added besides, well, lentils & chickpeas. The less ingredients the better. By the way, LOVE/LOVE/LOVE this brand for lentils.

+ Little trinkets I like to always have: organic turmeric powder, chia seeds, flax seeds, hemp seeds, cinnamon, fresh basil, fresh mint, cayenne, grass fed butter, coconut oil, dark chocolate, apple cider vinegar, & nutmeg.

Having a foundation of a list before you walk in the grocery store is always a good idea. I like to be in & out ( usually I grab a green juice or cold brew coffee with cinnamon at Whole Foods while shopping ). My market experiences are usually ten minutes. Hi, bye, in, out.

Also, from experience: DO NOT GO GROCERY SHOPPING HUNGRY. Trust me, I know this first hand. It’s just a bad idea. First you’ll start off eating way too many lukewarm samples & then you’ll go to the cereal aisle & start grabbing like cocoa, berry crunch shit you never knew existed. And then you’ll end up on the baking aisle & it will suddenly dawn on you that you haven’t made brownies or Rice Krispy treats in 2 years, & ‘oh doesn’t that sound like a fun treat?’

Literally this happened the other day & I ended up with hummus in every flavor & one too many varieties of French cheeses.

Anyway, just avoid the grocery store when hungry.

What’s your must-have grocery item? Add to my list!!

Happy Thursday! x

{ my full grocery list, plus a 90 day full meal plan (!!!), will be added to The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide next month…stay tuned! }


TSC Guide: A Breakdown of the Best Damn Sale

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential

1 | 2 | 3

Ok I get it, I’ve talked about the Nordstrom anniversary sale a couple of times, yada, yada, yada BUT AGAIN, it’s just too good. This post isn’t sponsored, it’s just a real deal sale I shop every year. To make it super easy & clear, I laid out what I bought ( some things are still on my wish list but you get it ). There are 4 days left to shop the new stuff on sale so here we go…a quick, little breakdown guide to the best damn sale:

1.| Love these with black jeans. Kind of a no brainer & a total staple. Fringe is here to stay by the way, it’s all over the YSL runway.

2.| Every girl in the world should own a pair of over the knee boots. These ones happen to be on sale. Yes, I bought them BECAUSE, ASPEN!! Like what if I travel somewhere cold ( hint, cough, Michael ).

3.| These are chic, cute, insane…& WTF how are these kitten boots on sale? They look like they’re a million dollars.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential
1 | 2 | 3

1.| Just do this one & thank me later. It goes with everything in the world & is super flattering. Trust me, I’ve been wearing it all week.

2.| If you want something with a little color, go for this navy number. Navy & black are such a winning combo…ALWAYS.

3.| This shirt is the eptiomy of cool. Seriously though, how cute is it? Different but amazing.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential1 | 2 | 3

1.| If you guys follow me on Instagram, you know I AM OBSESSED WITH MY HUGE-ASS BLACK HAT. This one has been currently covering my swollen face. Anddddd it’s under $20 bucks.

2.| THIS PRODUCT is liquid gold for skin. You guys know this from TSC YouTube channel…but do yourself a favor & invest in amazing makeup. And there’s SPF in it.

3.| Cute iPhone case…right? I’m about it.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential

1 | 2 | 3

1.| Love a good bell bottom. Only if it’s flattering though. I’d rock these flares with a super baggy top & a huge hat.

2.| LOVE these. Usually I’m not too into blue jeans ( I find black jeans are way more flattering ) but these are goodies. Enjoy!

3.| A black skinny jean that’s flattering & on sale? PLEASE & THANK YOU.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential
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 | 2 | 3

1.| So cute. Bought it already. Couldn’t help myself. The price is not bad either. Wearing this with cuffed boots & a spicy red/orange lip.

2.| Florals can be super spot-on if they’re done right. I like this one because it’s not overly girly. How amazing would this look with tight black pants?

3.| This looks fun to throw on for a date night. You could sex it up or play it down. It’s look damn comfortable too.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential
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 | 2 | 3

1.| YUMMMM. This purple number is so fun for the gym, a hike, or yoga!! Love Zella as always. Their stuff is made so well, it’s inexpensive, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: lasts forever.

2.| Yes, yes, yes. I talk about these leggings every second. Well aware. Couldn’t forget to add them to my must-have list though. Sorry.

3.| Love this relaxed, effortless, chic look for working out. Understated but a pop of color always gets me.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential
1
 | 2 | 3

1.| This loafer is so good. I bought it because 1.) faux snakeskin print, YES. 2.) it goes with everything. 3.) it looks like a Celine flat but it’s under $70 bucks. MUST HAVE. Don’t let this one get away.

2.| These are perfect for business meetings, midi skirts, or I’d imagine they’d look hot with nothing ( AKA naked ) for your boyfriend. MEOW.

3.| OK OUT OF EVERYTHING ON THIS COLLAGE, PAUSE. These suede red pumps ( under $80! ) are AMAZING. I can’t get enough. They look just like Loubs & literally look so smoking hot with casual jeans & a baggy white button up. I feel like you can get away with anything in these red, Jessica Rabbit pumps. I cannot wait to rock these.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential

1 | 2 | 3

1.| Peacoat goals. The color, the fit, the buttons…just get me. Bought this for a future NYC trip. I actually got a large because I want to hem it to fit my figure & it runs small.

2.| Love this jean getup because it’s simple & I could wear it with white shoes. Love jean x white shoes…but I’m sure you know that already. LOL.

3.| Just got this for lympathic drainage on my face ( definitely need it because I’m swollen as F ). IT WORKS WONDERS FOR LYMPH DRAINAGE MASSAGE, if you’re looking to learn more about facial lymphatic massage, this little tool gets the job done. Plus it’s pink.

favorite sale picks | by the skinny confidential
1
 | 2 | 3

1.| I love a good waffle tee. This one is a winner. Especially with a cute flannel around the waist.

2.| This striped midi looks like a $600 dollar skirt…but it’s $79 dollars. I can’t believe (!!!) the price on this. How amazing would this be with bright white pumps & a casual white tee to play it down?!! KILLING IT. If you’re feeling feisty, check out the matching crop top.

3.| This dress screams sex appeal but doesn’t show too much, ya know? Love it with suede ankle booties. And totally fun for winter ( imagine it with a long peacoat!! ).

———

FOUR days left to get new stuff on sale! Free shipping & free returns too…yes, plz.

Hope you enjoyed my full breakdown of the sale…Happy shopping! xx

+ Prices go back up August 3rd.





THE ONE PILL I TAKE EVERY.SINGLE.DAY (!!!)

the importance of probiotics | by the skinny confidential
{ favorite probiotic here }

Unfortunately I have been on antibiotics for FIVE ( ALMOST SIX ) weeks.

Let that sink in.

Yes. YUCK.

Post surgery will do that to ya.

I’m not a fan of antibiotics ( who is? ). I know, I know they’re necessary at times & extremely helpful obviously, but that doesn’t make it any easier taking 4 a day for 5 weeks. FML.

Anyway, if you guys read The Skinny Confidential you know I’m a HUGE, HUGE fan of probiotics. I’ve talked about Kombucha ( …with champagne ) & kimchi many times but I’ve never shared this tidbit: I take an Acidophilus every.single.day.

Since…forever. Really though.

Why oh why have I not shared?

Because I’m not a doctor & I don’t want to tell you guys to do something…so I’m hesitant. But on that note, it’s also important to me to share what’s worked well for me & WHY.

Before you run out & get your own bottle of probiotics, talk to your doc & do some research.

Ok…here’s my experience/knowledge on taking a daily probiotic:

Firstly, the reason I bring this subject up is because I’M ON ANTIBIOTICS.

Let’s get gross for a second: if I DON’T take a probiotic ( or eat yogurt/drink Kombucha/chow down on Kimchi ), I get a yeast infection.

Fun times. Lemme tell ya, FUN TIMES.

And YES, I’m well aware that no one on the planet wants to talk about a fucking yeast infection ( I feel like 99.9% of bloggers would rather die than talk about a yeast infection? I mean, am I right or am I right? But hey someone’s gotta do it… ). So Mr. Yeast Infection shows up when I’m on antibiotics because antibiotics strip all bacteria from your system in order to fight infections. This may sound swell but it’s not. You actually WANT good bacteria ( there’s such a thing as good bacteria!! ).

Which is why I use probiotics to prevent yeast infections instead of actually getting one & having to use a gross-ass Monistat egg ( << get it? ).

Weird? Bear with me.

Probiotics ( also known as an acidophilus ) are beneficial bacteria & microorganism that live in the gut. AKA ‘good bacteria.’ They help with digestion & REALLY, REALLY help absorb nutrients from food.

You want healthy, good bacteria because the good stuff helps eliminate nasty shit in the gut like bad bacteria, chemicals, & toxins.

Ok so let’s start with the difference between an acidophilus & a probiotic: “Acidophilus is a form of a probiotic. It is mainly used to aid digestion and repopulate the digestive track with good bacteria. Probiotics, those with a mix of acidophilus and other types of good bacteria, are considered broad-spectrum, meaning they work better when combined to aid more than one type of problem within the digestive track. Probiotics that are most effective have a billion or more active organisms.” { via } .

The three main things that grow nasty bacterias are:

ANTIBIOTICS
CHLORINATED WATER
& STRESS

My favorite form of a probiotic to take is an acidophilus &/or eat a fermented food/drink.

ANOTHER WAY TO GET THOSE LOVELY PROBIOTICS?

Kombucha, duh!

the importance of probiotics _ by the skinny confidentialGT

Kombucha is awesome. It’s definitely a fermented food ( or drink ).

You want to drink that weird look shit ( you know the stuff that looks just like Ursula’s Poor Little Poopsies, Fletsom/Jetsom, in The Little Mermaid? Especially when they explode? Ya those ) at the bottom because it’s full of enzymes & probiotics.

Kefir, kimchi, raw sauerkraut, & sheep’s yogurt are fermented foods too.

Fermented foods= probiotics.

Obviously I don’t always have access to fermented foods ( especially while traveling ) so my probiotic pills really help get the job done…And when I’m on freaking antibiotics for 5 weeks I sure as hell don’t miss a day of my probiotic.

Just to make sure I’m being clear, I want to also share what this source states: “Probiotics are beneficial organisms, most of which are normally found in the healthy human gastrointestinal tract. Many different strains of probiotic organisms are in use, which have different but overlapping benefits. Probiotic organisms work through several interrelated mechanisms to promote health at the molecular level. They conquer potentially dangerous organisms in the intestine, reducing the risk of infection or toxin-mediated diseases. They regulate immune responses which enhance healthy reactions to dangerous infectious organisms, and they suppress excessive inflammation. Additionally, probiotics promote the function of the intestinal inner lining, enhancing its ability to act as a barrier to the entry of potentially dangerous organisms and chemicals.

Due to modern diets and lifestyle, as well as environmental factors such as pollution and the irresponsible overuse of antibiotics, the beneficial bacteria in your microbiome is at risk which can lead to an increased incidence in metabolic and inflammatory chronic diseases. Even simple aging gradually shifts your intestinal bacterial population towards a disease-promoting, rather than a disease-preventing, state.

The good news is that probiotics can help restore balance and cellular communications with regard to the body’s healthy bacterial population. In the digestive tract, probiotic therapy has been used to prevent or treat lactose intolerance, intestinal infections and diarrhea, gastritis and ulcers caused by the bacterium Helicobacter pylori, colitis caused by excessive antibiotic use, inflammatory bowel diseases, and irritable bowel syndrome. They’re also proving instrumental in preventing colon cancer.”

Oh, & a little note guys: a lot of people have experienced weight loss ( because the pill helps with digestion ), more energy, & a stronger immune system when taking a daily probiotic.

This post is not sponsored, no one is paying me to say this shit, I JUST LOVE my freaking daily probiotic pill. This brand is the one I take every.single.day. If any of you recommend another great brand, I’m open to checking it out, just leave the link below.

I was drawn to this particular brand because 1.) it’s an acidophilus probiotic 2.) the benefits are insane ( “L. rhamnosus is probably the most important probiotic strain for health from the mouth to the small intestine. It protects by coating the mucus, preventing toxins from reaching the blood. It even results in better smelling breath. L. rhamnosus survives temperature extremes and is resistant to bile salts and stomach acid, ferments 23 sugars and inhibits negative bacteria and yeast growth. It is hardier and keeps better without refrigeration. Compared to L. acidophilus, L. rhamnosus is 8 to 10 times more prolific, has a larger spectrum of sugar fermentation ( important for people with milk sugar intolerance ) has better control over putrefactive microbes, and is more effective at inhibiting disease-causing pathogens. L. acidophilus produces lactic acid which keeps a proper pH balance in the small intestine, inhibiting yeast growth. Studies have show that L. acidophilus is effective in reducing lactose intolerance, inhibiting undesirable organisms in the intestine, reducing cholesterol levels and controlling diarrhea. Goat milk is an excellent environment for lactic bacteria because it helps beneficial bacteria proliferate. It also lacks a specific protein that is found in cow milk to which many people are allergic.” ), 3.) I’ve never had a yeast infection when on this specific one during any antibiotics.

YESSSS.

Typically I take one after breakfast & shoot for one after dinner ( << realness: sometimes I forget this one, but no worries because I have one in the AM ).

I’ve really done my research on this subject because it’s something I take everyday. If you’re interested in learning more, start here. This article is informative & a great place to get acquainted with a probiotic ( << especially if you have stomach/digestive problems ).

Again, JUST sharing what’s worked FOR ME. I am not you and you are not me. Do what works for YOU & as always, consult with a doctor before.

Thoughts? Anyone else take a daily probiotic?

Long post, I know, but there’s so much info about this tiny pill with powerful benefits!

Ok, your turn…weigh in, x

the importance of probiotics | by the skinny confidential


Mini DeLites: Staycation…Reading, Rest, & Rosé

{ post pool | one piece ( similar here too }

rancho valencia | by the skinny confidential

{ hot pink pitaya bowl | sunglasses }

Is anyone else loving a one piece as much me right now?

They’re SOOO fun for summer…& they really hold everything in, if ya know what I mean.

I just bought this PALM PRINT cutie one piece too. Definitely going to wear it with a high waisted skirt to the pool ( & it’s $58 bucks! ). Anyone else have must have one piece recommendations? I’m on the lookout— share!

Ok, got distracted there. Let’s talk about the weekend!

We had a staycation this weekend…MEOW.

rancho valencia | by the skinny confidential

I have been functioning on such a low frequency for the past six weeks. I’m really trying to tone it down a few notches so my body can heal. And honestly, I’m still SO DAMN SWOLLEN. I’m also weak. I’m fatigued. And I’m not my best self. Sucks but I’ll be fine soon.

Michael on the other hand???

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

rancho valencia | by the skinny confidential

{ balance, right?! blood orange iced tea…& a spicy margarita }

rancho valencia | by the skinny confidential

{ HUGE hat to cover my swollen face | black hat ( ON SALE! ) // similar faux leather bikini }

It’s almost like he’s the ying to my yang & making up for my lack of energy. He’s bouncing off the walls with a bigger work load than ever…& with that comes a lot of stress. SO as you can see, a weekend of literally ( trying ) to do nothing was in order.

( Not going to lie babe: when you fell asleep at 10 PM ( seriously 10 PM?? Like who are you, gramps ), I worked until 2 AM… ).

He has been so tired from work, you’d think I’m getting married to an 87 year old.

Anyway!!

He hasn’t had a drop of alcohol in about a month & half because he’s been focusing on work…cue to him pouring us the biggest glass of wine in the world on Saturday night:

wine

GRANDPA gone wild.

Guess you could say he was ready to, I dunno, maybe relax? Thank God.

If you follow me on Instagram or specifically Snapchat ( username is laurynevarts ) you saw the whole thing go down. Michael was ready to de-stress, have a glass ( or 3 ) of wine, & RELAX. Mission accomplished because he definitely felt more revitalized today. The weekend reset was a real game changer. Hopefully he can come down to my post-surgery, low energy frequency. We shall see.

By the way, we stayed at Rancho Valencia ( which I highly recommend ). I had a lymphatic drainage facial which was INSANE. My swelling totally went down from the facial massage. Also, their food is so delicious ( think fresh salmon, quinoa, dragon fruit bowls, lemon pancakes, veggie omelettes, & juicy burgers ). Overall the vibe & atmosphere felt so chill. If you’re visiting make sure to check out the resort, it will not disappoint. The outdoor shower IS A REAL GAME CHANGER TOO.

rancho valencia | by the skinny confidential

So that’s my weekend report.

I’ve had a couple of complications post surgery ( more on that later ) & I’m trying to really push the healing but my body is doing whatever the hell it wants to do so…I HAVE TO BE PATIENT.

And…I hate being patient. HA. Anyone with me? Being patient is a YAWN.

On that note, send any good book, movie, or TV show recommendations my way. I could use them. My chihuahuas, green juices, friends, family, & mini workouts are keeping me positive. #SUMMER2015 is a real ball, lemme tell ya.

K, I’m off to read The Cartel ( STILL LOVING this book, can’t put it down ) & drink a cup of green tea…what a grandma, right.

Chat soon, lauryn x

rancho valencia | by the skinny confidential

rancho valencia | by the skinny confidential

{ favorite meal, brunch }


The Ladies Coach Shares Badass Relationship Tips

relationship advice | by the skinny confidential

A while ago my girlfriend, Alana, introduced me to Christal. Basically Christal is a badass chick who runs her own business called The Ladies Coach. I checked her out on YouTube & just thought she was amazing! I mean, she’s super spot on when it comes to relationships.

SO. I figured I had to share Christal’s tips/tricks with you guys. Whether you’re struggling through a tough relationship, about to get married ( eek! ), already married, or single & ready to mingle, these tips & tricks WILL resonate.

( My number one relationship tip would be, find your own independence ( remember this post? ) & also, gotta throw it in there: DON’T SETTLE ).

Anyway, Christal is full of love advice that every girl should know.

Also, I’d love if you guys shared your relationship advice below in the comment section. I have heard the most amazing tips from YOU. Seriously though, I read every single comment!

Ok, happy Sunday night reading…meet Christal:

| Introduce yourself/tell us what you do. |

Christal Fuentes: Hi ladies, my name is Christal Fuentes, I’m a Relationship Coach for women and the founder of The Ladies Coach, which is an online “platform” that gives women access to experts and tools that could make their life a little easier.

| An example of a healthy relationship? |

CF: What I always say is, “The relationship you have with yourself sets the foundation for the relationships you have with others.”

A healthy intimate relationship starts with YOU! Because your standards begin with YOU!

1.| You want respect? You must first RESPECT yourself.

2.| You want to be loved for who you are? You must appreciate and love who you are FIRST.

3.| You want someone who has common values? You have to get to know what those values are FIRST.

4.| You want to be able communicate your needs? You need to FIRST open up that dialogue within, WITHOUT judgment.

5.| You want a PASSIONATE sex life? You have to be able to stop the war you have on your body…. (Yes, ladies I’m talking to YOU!) Your body is beautiful where she is. Appreciate her!

By the way… those are five SOLID keys to a healthy relationship, but notice that they ALL begin with YOU!

You must build that foundation FIRST, because in order to give and receive love, you have to really love who you are and be connected to what you are able to offer.

relationship advice | by the skinny confidential

| An example of an unhealthy relationship? |

CF: An unhealthy/toxic relationship is any relationship based off FEAR.

Whether you are staying in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone, or because you are AFRAID to leave, they are both relationships that are controlled by fear.

But the problem is, when we don’t have a baseline standard for what we will allow from others, we won’t REALIZE that we are in toxic relationships. Most people in toxic relationships have lived in toxicity for so long that they don’t see the danger toxic relationships play.

The next question I will be answering is VERY important if you do realize you are in a FEAR based relationship, but first, here are some examples so you get more of an idea…

If you are afraid to leave a relationship for ANY reason, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you find yourself feeling jealous and untrusting of your mate, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you constantly fight or argue in order to bring temporary passion or even to get attention, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you are unable to truly be yourself, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you are disrespectful to each other either verbally, emotionally or physically, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you do things for your partner hoping for a “return,” you are in a fear based relationship.
If you are afraid of your partner, you are in a fear based relationship.
If you cringe at the thought of communicating your feelings to a significant other, you are in a fear based relationship.

| Advice for someone who’s in a relationship that’s suffocating & poisonous? |

CF: Here is a quote I want you to remember that comes from a teacher I look up to, Tony Robbins… (I might be misquoting it a bit but the point is the same).

“You will stay in a relationship you feel treats you BETTER than how you treat yourself.”

…Let that sink in a bit…

Again, how we treat ourselves sets the STANDARD of how others will treat us, and if we think they treat us BETTER, we will stay in toxic relationships MUCH longer than we need to.

If you or a friend is in an unhealthy relationship, here are few questions I’d like you to answer:

What feeling am I trying to achieve? Example: Is it feeling wanted? Is it fear of being alone?

What top 3 emotions do I feel consistently through this relationship? Are there new feelings I can replace these with?

What 2 things can I start doing now to connect with myself in positive ways and feel MORE of what I want to feel without depending on my relationship?

These questions certainly don’t fix the relationship, but it’s a start to building communication and connection to yourself. Self-dialogue is powerful ladies, so it is important to understand what thoughts & questions are going through our mind.

The more loving and powerful we get with those, the more love and connection we build with ourselves.

relationship advice | by the skinny confidential

| Best tip when it comes to having a happy relationship? |

CF: You have to LIKE the person you are with. Everyone thinks LOVE is most important but the key to really sustaining a healthy relationship is to “like” who they are. I mean, why do we hang around our besties? Because we LIKE who they are and how they make us feel right?

We aren’t forced to be friends with them because we “love” them, we are friends with them because we like the people they are and how they amplify our life. The same should go with your significant other!

When you are best friends, you can open up the communication and allow freedom in your relationship…& that just feels happy!

relationship advice | by the skinny confidential

| Something a woman can do for a man to make them feel special? |

CF: Ladies, appreciate your man!

If you have a good man, he just wants to make you happy, it really is that simple.

The masculine energy just wants to feel purposeful and feel appreciated for what he brings to the relationship. Every guy is different though so it is YOUR job to find what ways HE likes to be celebrated.

| Best way to communicate your feelings to guy? |
CF: Wheew! Communication with a guy is SOOOO different than communicating to our fellow ladies. We can’t expect our guy to be “hairier women,” but we often times EXPECT them to understand and communicate the same way our girlfriends do…. And the truth is THEY CAN’T!

With that said, here are 3 things to remember before communicating your feelings:

♡ Leave your ego at the door: This goes for both partners but when we come into a discussion with our ego’s strapped on, we set the other person up for failure immediately. Especially if, God forbid, they say something wrong! Haha!

♡ Be clear about what you want to express: I know this is hard ladies, especially because we are emotional creatures but we have to remember, our men can’t follow along like our girlfriends can! They will loose focus if it’s not clear what you are asking.

♡ Understand their intentions: The KEY to any successful communication is to understand their intentions. But that goes out the window with our significant others because we hold such HIGH expectations of them. Always keep in mind that ( a good man ) will always have your best interests at heart and will only want to serve you. If you remember this, it will allow you to feel more open and safe to him. And a man LOVES to be able to make you feel safe!

| One word to describe a healthy, functioning relationship? |

CF: Peaceful.

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