So This is Love, La, La, La…& All That Mushy-Gushy Crap

The Skinny Confidential talks relationships, diet, and fitness.

A lot of you guys have e-mailed me about relationship advice…& to be honest, it’s tough to go ‘there’ because everyone’s different. Especially when it comes to relationships.

Maybe you’re perfectly single or in a relationship where it’s all butterflies & rainbows or dating a jealous/insecure douche or maybe you’re even happily married. I guess whatever your relationship status stands, advice on the topic varies from person to person.

If I had to give one general tip though?

Whelp, first off let me preface the advice: obviously I can be…opinionated.

I mean, HA! Shocker, right? If you guys read TSC, you know this…no surprise there.

On that note, I’ll share my opinion which is simple: DON’T SETTLE.

The Skinny Confidential talks diet and fitness.

DON’T SETTLE for some loser who doesn’t treat you right, a person who’s mean to your dog, someone who doesn’t think you’re the best thing to hit the planet, a person with no ambition, someone who’s going to hold you back from your deepest passion, and/or a 24/7 grump.

Michael encourages my best self. He challenges me ( which can be pretty annoying sometimes ) & supports my passions. He holds my door open & in general, makes me feel special. He likes to lay in bed while watching “Orange is the New Black” with Pixy & me on a Friday night. His integrity is inspiring & his wit makes me laugh. These qualities are very, very important to me.

Like I said, to me.

Those qualities may not be important to you.

In fact, maybe they’re boring to you.

And that’s ok because we’re all different humans, but whatever those important relationship qualities are, make sure you stick to your damn guns. Like I said, don’t settle for less & don’t compromise especially if it’s an unhealthy situation.

Maybe you want a guy ( or girl— (Guys: listen up, this is for you too) ) who has impeccable manners, knows how to cook a mean steak, likes to party hardy and dance to house music, or is super affectionate/touchy-feely.

WTF it is that floats your boat, don’t stop until you find the person who keeps you inspired.

There’s a funny-ass quote that says, “I’m very easily satisfied, I’m always content with the best.” Basically, it’s my mantra in relationships. If you’re not in a relationship that’s the BEST for YOU, then get out.

Like ‘N Sync said “bye bye bye.” But seriously, buh-byeeeeee! If a guy/girl sucks AKA they’re negative/mean/rude/cruel/abusive/ignorant, don’t put up with it. At the end of the day by staying with that person, you’re technically enabling bad behavior.

Also, by the way— I’ve been there. I’ve definitely been with guys who were less than stellar. Trust me. One was angry every second of everyday ( yawn, bye ) & another one was a total mooch/user ( there’s been others too ). Pretty much, I made a very conscious decision to leave each relationship because those qualities didn’t fly with me. Besides settling in those unhealthy relationships wouldn’t have worked ultimately.

Point: simply don’t settle for anything less than you believe you deserve. At the end of the day, your partner is a reflection of YOU. They’re on YOUR team. And you’re on THEIR team.

Choose wisely.

P.S. I know a lot of you are happily married ( congrats! ) & I’d to know: what makes your marriage unique? And a step further: what advice can you recommend to single girls or to someone in a negative relationship?

Spillllllllll.

xx lauryn

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The Skinny Confidential talks diet and relationships.

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47 comments on So This is Love, La, La, La…& All That Mushy-Gushy Crap

  1. Baby love
    06.18.14 at 11:22 pm (1 month ago)

    Love this!!!!! Keep sharing!!!

    Reply
  2. Jovana
    06.18.14 at 11:49 pm (1 month ago)

    I really like this post :)

    I am a lifestyle blogger writing about NYC, my other trips and lifestyle inspiration. I just wrote a blog post about my bucket list, if you’d like to find out more, check out my blog :)

    http://jovanamiljanovic.com

    Reply
  3. D'Arcy
    06.19.14 at 1:29 am (1 month ago)

    You know what I love about you? You ALWAYS seem concerned about your dog/furry baby. One of your first relationship ‘rules’ was not to be with a guy who’s mean to your dog. In my eyes, the amount we care for animals is the absolute best barometer of how decent we are. BTW, my husband and I have been happily married for years and our mutual feeling that our pets are our babies (though only I would say it like that) definitely has been important to keeping us happy together.

    Reply
  4. Alysd
    06.19.14 at 2:02 am (1 month ago)

    My advice… Marry your best friend & everyday think ‘what can I do to make my Husband happy’…

    Reply
  5. J
    06.19.14 at 2:13 am (1 month ago)

    Congrats on the engagement!

    I’m 29, I got married two years ago. I think you should treat people how you would like to be treated. I take a big interest in my husband’s career and interests and I’m his life cheerleader. In turn, he’s exactly the same to me! :)

    If someone appears to not be fully engaged or interested when you’re talking about your ideas, interests and passions, then walk away – forevs! If they don’t care / try to get it now, there’s no way they will after 10 years of marriage!

    Bottom line, if you have more bad days than good days… Well, that ratio ain’t gonna improve as time goes on! You deserve better, so go out and get it :)

    Reply
  6. Lucy
    06.19.14 at 2:48 am (1 month ago)

    Yes to everything you said! It’s so difficult to break up with someone when you find out that the charming exterior didn’t actually reflect the person within and I think girls in particular can be quite reluctant to hurt someone else’s feelings and put themselves first. But we all need to learn to make ourselves the priority and start stamping out bad behaviour. It’s helping everyone in the end after all!
    xxx
    Lucy @ La Lingua : Life in Italy
    Lucy recently posted..Villa Necchi CampiglioMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Fifi Tindall
    06.19.14 at 2:49 am (1 month ago)

    Haha,

    I’ve just started watching ‘Orange is the New Black’ and I’m totally addicted.

    Unfortunately (or fortunately! depending on how you’re looking at it!) I’m a single pringle so it’s more of a PJ’s & ice cream on a Saturday night forever-alone kinda deal

    But I’ve got standards and I’m cool with that! I would rather wait and be with the right person then settle for the wrong one for the sake of being in a relationship. Girls gotta stick to her values and there are some things I won’t settle for (Namely, being an asshole) so I really like this post!

    :) Fifi x
    http://www.Fifisdiary.com

    Reply
  8. Alison
    06.19.14 at 4:17 am (1 month ago)

    I am 31, and I can finally proudly say, (it took me a while to ok with this), that I have been single since I was 23! Yes, I’ve dated PLENTY, even dated one person for a month, but full on bf/gf? Not since I was 23 (I’m thinking about starting my own blog about this.) Maybe I’m too picky, but I refuse to settle!!! I’ve been dealt the hand that, I attract men that I have apsolutly no attraction to, even though I’ve tried, and The men I like, aren’t into me. I know I’ll find a great match, and that’ll be it. The good side of it? While I’ve been single that long, I’ve evolved, and grown so comfortable in my own skin!

    So theres that:)

    Reply
  9. Nicole
    06.19.14 at 5:13 am (1 month ago)

    Great post and I couldn’t agree more!!

    My husband and I where together for 6 years and lived together for 3 years before we got married this past NYE and we honestly believed that our relationship wouldn’t change. What we both figured out is that nothing changed but everything changed!

    What I mean by that is marriage enhances our relationship…the best and the worst parts….cause let’s face it we all have flaws. Only being married for 6 months we are learning to communicate on a level we didn’t before because we are now “homies for life” lol

    Guess that’s my advice for folks taking the plunge…expect your relationship to grow and with growth in the beginning there are always little growing pains…that was the advice my mom gave me and I expect she knows her stuff…she’s been happily married to my dad for 40 years :)

    Reply
    • Flower
      06.19.14 at 11:17 am (1 month ago)

      Thanks for that insight! I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, and we’ve lived together for 4 1/2 years. I guess I always figured that when we get married it would be the same as it is now.

  10. Megan Borgese
    06.19.14 at 5:53 am (1 month ago)

    Awesome advice! I’ve been in all those types of relationships too…. #college lol I’m only 9 months into the married life but my best advice is pick you battles – sure he still leaves empty almond milk containers in the fridge so I have no clue we need more BUT he does SO much more sweet things day in and day out that I’d rather just deal than nag! Also, always be the best version of yourself, take care of you first (in a non selfish way) so you can take care of him – emotionally and physically ;) XO

    Reply
  11. Lorraine
    06.19.14 at 6:01 am (1 month ago)

    Oh chica… I literally just broke up with someone yesterday! I haven’t felt so at peace and serene in years… it’s definitely soul-saving (if that’s even a term hahaha) to give yourself a break and be a zen single than spread yourself thin in an unsatisfactory relationship.

    Reply
  12. Heather
    06.19.14 at 6:01 am (1 month ago)

    LOVE this! We will be married two years in October (together for 6!) and our biggest advice for all relationships is to have a constant and open flow of communication and hold that person to the highest level of respect. We went into our relationship both from an absolute no bullshit perspective and it’s worked beautifully for us ever since. We are so, so happy and more in love than ever. I wrote some advice about it here for anyone who is interested :-)
    http://yeartwoandbeyond.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-first-year-of-marriage.html

    Congrats again, Lauryn! You and Michael look like a couple that truly respects and cherishes one another!

    Reply
  13. Kristin
    06.19.14 at 6:15 am (1 month ago)

    I’m learning that distance makes the heart grow founder. My husband has a new job and has to travel for work and while he is away we talk every day, but I can’t wait for him to come home and same goes for him. It gives us a chance to breathe and miss each other. We’ve been married for 6 years and together for 14 and are happier then ever right now.

    Reply
  14. Rachel @ Betty LIVIN
    06.19.14 at 6:26 am (1 month ago)

    My husband and are very fortunate that we are both quick to get over things and apologize. We have had very few fights last longer than a couple hours because one of us is always willing to make peace. It’s made for really harmonious living.

    Reply
  15. Ashley
    06.19.14 at 6:29 am (1 month ago)

    I am married, and I have to say that my husband and I owe it all to good communication! It’s just so key to talk things out.. I know sometimes I talk it out too much, perhaps, but when something is bothering either of us, we need to hash it out! Also, similar goals and morals.. You need to know you have the same general life plan, although that may mold into something different than you originally expected, you want to know that you can grow into it together, and not apart. (if you want to get married and have kids, and he says he doesn’t, or if you have such a strong desire to travel, and he has no desire to leave your city..)
    If you’re in a relationship where you don’t have those things, get out! There’s just no reason to waste time with someone who isn’t on the same page as you.

    Reply
  16. tamara
    06.19.14 at 6:46 am (1 month ago)

    married 22 years in september…2 kids (almost 20 and almost 17)…just celebrated 50th birthday. here’s my 2 cents: learn to embrace the other’s IMPERFECTION. now, i’m not saying “settle” for being treated badly or living sadly. i’m just saying that you shouldn’t try to “fix” everything. let things go. breathe. and laugh. alot. if you’re not laughing, you need to be leaving.

    Reply
  17. Emily
    06.19.14 at 6:51 am (1 month ago)

    It’s cliche but girls need to know how to love themselves and be totally comfortable with themselves before they can truly be in a healthy functional relationship. Anyways, this was a great post.

    Reply
  18. Maureen
    06.19.14 at 6:56 am (1 month ago)

    Quick background: I’m 31 and married my high school crush, who didn’t know I existed until we met at a tailgate when I was 24. We’ve been married for over 2 years and we recently went on a vacation where people assumed we were honeymooners. We’re very affectionate and lovey-dovey and all that crap.

    My marriage advice: fight until you make absolutely no sense and start laughing at your pointless points you’re trying to win the argument with. V and I barely fight but when we do, we start laughing within fifteen minutes or less (most of the time, it’s me making a stupid comment that makes zero sense). Couples fight…it’s going to happen…just make sure you don’t go to bed angry.
    Maureen recently posted..Hawaii – Photo DumpMy Profile

    Reply
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